Holy shit! It's been a long time, eh? What the hell is up? Lol.

I do apologize, though. For those of you not watching me on Deviant Art, my poor computer died. So, I had to get a new one and hadn't been able to write for damn near nine months. Then, there was the horrible writer's block. -_- Not fun…

I am back with a vengeance, though, and a new editor, as my wife is understandably not comfortable with the concepts of this story in particular, lol. Plus, she's got her own shit to worry about, so I'd rather not pester her. Thus, the honor goes to the FF user, Spyash2!

I've also been doing some collabs with him while combatting my writer's block. Be on the lookout, eh?

Now, without further ado, let's get this shit rollin'!

Twisted Bonds: the Ultimate Sin

Arc Three: Missionary

Chapter One: Glorified Chores and an Evil Cat

All was quite peaceful in a small, wooded thicket, near Konoha. 'Twas the early morn and all seemed well, as sun shone down, the bluebirds sang, and a young, male voice in the distance yelled, "FUCK!"

Suddenly, a small, brown tabby cat with a pink ribbon on her right ear scampered off: tail held high and poofed out to show her great displeasure.

"Damn it, Kiba," Shizuka groaned over the radio, "we almost had her!"

"It's not my fault, this time! The damn thing launched itself at my face!" The young Inuzuka hissed in pain. Yup, he was bleeding. "Motherfucker!"

"The target is heading east," Hinata pointed out.

"On it," Shizuka replied.

With that and an irritated sigh, she was off: chasing after this same damn cat for the third damn time, this damn week! Fuck!

A mercifully-short time later, the disheveled Squad Eight surrounded their quarry. Not taking any chances, Hinata was assigned to snatch her up from behind, while Kiba, Shizuka, and Akamaru distracted the cat. Seeing as how she had the sharpest reflexes among them, the former Hyuuga had the best chance of success.

"Easy, now," Shizuka cautioned, inching towards the cat from in front.

To her left, Akamaru groaned at the déjà vu. This was, what, the fifth time they tried this shit, today? Ugh…

To Shizuka's right, Kiba slunk forth. Outta the lot of them, he was in the worst condition. Stupid cat…

Speaking of, said feline was looking rather pissed. Rearing back, she let out an ungodly yowl and prepared to pounce. But, just as her feet left the ground, Hinata snatched the little fucker by the scruff of her neck and immediately proceeded to try and stuff her into a pet carrier.

Seeing her friend struggle, Shizuka helped. Several moments and a few creative streams of obscenities later, the cat was stuffed into her little taxi—the door latched with a satisfying click.

Thus was the end of Tora the Cat's latest reign of terror…

Unknown to the majority of Squad Eight, Naruto had been observing them from up above the whole time. Though his earpiece said blond heard a familiar and cranky voice barking for a progress report. Speaking into the mike in his sleeve, Naruto replied, "they've just completed their mission and are returning to the Missions' Center."

"Just now?! They've been chasin' that cat for three fuckin' hours!"

"In all fairness," Naruto replied, "they are still lacking in proper coordination."

"After six months?!"

"Again, in all fairness, they have two hotheads on their team who've tended to clash rather often… especially at first. Kiba-San is wising up, as of late, though… and not dragging them down as much as he used to."

There was a heavy sigh on the other side of the radio.

"I'd fuckin' hope so… You're swappin' out with Akari in five, by the way. I want snuggles…"

Naruto couldn't help but smile at this. "Understood, Imouto-Sama."

Some time later, in the Missions' Center of Konohagakure no Sato…

"Oh, Tora, sweety, please never run away, again," a large brunette of local nobility gushed, squeezing the life out of her poor cat.

Meanwhile, off to the side, Hinata was torn. On one hand, she felt sorry for the hapless pet. On the other, the damn thing had given her utter hell.

Shizuka and Kiba held not such reservations. 'Yes,' they unknowingly thought in sadistic unison, 'squeeze that little monster until it fucking breaks!'

"Your team has done well, Yuuhi-Chan," Hiruzen commented from behind the desk. "It is a rare sight, indeed, to see Tora-Chan returned so swiftly."

Kurenai bowed respectfully. "Thank you, Hokage-Sama."

"Remind me again why we're doing these glorified chores," Kiba grumbled, his arms crossed. "Today, it was fetching that demon-cat for the twentieth time; yesterday, it was picking up trash in the park; the day before, it was painting a fence! I wasn't complaining before because it pays well, but when are we gonna see some real action and put our training to actual use?!"

Kurenai shot the young man a dirty look. Just as she was about to respond, though, Shizuka jumped right in.

"For once, I agree with Kiba. I signed up to protect and serve my homeland, not help old people with their laundry."

Calm as she usually was, Kurenai couldn't help but let out a low growl at the young woman's tone. "Now, see here—"

Hiruzen diffused the situation with a kindly chuckle. "It's fine, Yuuhi-Chan. You'd be surprised by how commonly this comes up among the newer teams. In fact, I'd expected someone on your team to ask far sooner, given their personalities." Addressing the youths, he smiled and said, "the answer is simple: team building, experience, and revenue. That last one is the most obvious, I'm sure. We are essentially a village of mercenaries, after all. So, we provide our services at a cost and you get a cut of the pay. The rest goes to running Konoha." Those last parts were said more for Kiba's benefit than anyone else.

Seeing that the boy understood, Hiruzen continued. "As rookies, you are assigned the D-Rank missions selected by your instructor, until she deems you ready for something more dangerous. In performing these missions, you—in theory—should get used to working together and complementing each other's skills. You also gain experience in interacting with various clientele and the occasional other squad: thereby developing vital social skills as you progress. Once Yuuhi-Chan deems you ready, you can start accepting C-Rank, then B-Rank and so on—possibly even apply for a promotion. It's all up to you."

Kiba and Shizuka both shared a scowl, but seemed satisfied with the answers. Hinata remained silent on the matter, but a spark her eyes flashed at the mention of promotion. Perhaps advancing to Chuunin would impress Naruto-Kun?

Again, Kurenai bowed. "Thank you, Hokage-Sama," she repeated. "I apologize profusely for my students' disrespect."

Hiruzen let out yet another hearty chuckle. "Think nothing of it!" Taking a much-needed puff of his pipe, he added, "if that is all, you're dismissed. I look forward to seeing you again, tomorrow."

"As do I, Hokage-Sama."

Meanwhile, in the Black Leaf Estate, Naruto stood before the door to his apartment… or, rather, Nariko's. She was the head of the household, after all.

The young man let out a tired sigh, relieved to be home for the night. Keeping watch over Shizuka and Hinata was surprisingly draining, somehow. Perhaps the uneventfulness was to blame? Possibly… While fending off lynching mobs and large-scale conspiracies was stressful, it was nothing if not a hell of a lot more active. If nothing else, the looks on their adversaries' faces also never failed to entertain.

That thought aside, Naruto reached for the doorknob and… just before he made contact, the door flung open and said blond was violently yanked in with a cartoonish yoink. There was then a slam and a thud, as Naruto found his back to the door—a very pregnant Nariko pressed up against his chest.

The younger twin immediately started purring, as Onii-Chan wrapped his arms around her. It wasn't easy being away from her mate when his baby was still growing inside her… As a result, she was feeling far more needy… perhaps even greedy, now. But it was hard to blame her, all things considered.

Naruto rubbed his sister's back and she purred louder, enjoying the attention.

"Mine,' she muttered possessively.

Naruto chuckled and kissed her on the forehead.

The next morning, Training Ground Three…

Kurenai turned her attention to the east, a scowl marring her features. "Would you care to explain why you're here?"

Semimaru-Uzumaki Naruto had just flickered into existence on the very edge of the training ground, the illusion of blue rose petals having just faded, as he approached Squad Eight's instructor. Natsu was watching him closely as well, but wasn't quite as on edge as the red-eyed Jounin. "Need I remind you of my position, Yuuhi-San?" He raised an eyebrow at the woman in question while asking this, before shrugging indifferently. "I am a personal mercenary of the Uchiha and Hyuuga clans. They sent me to see how Shizuka-San and Hinata-San are progressing."

"They are still learning the tree-walking exercise," Natsu explained. "Hinata has nearly mastered it, and is in the process of expanding her reserves and control in preparation for water walking. Shizuka's struggling a bit, though."

It came as no surprise that Hinata had progressed so quickly. The Hyuuga Clan's Gentle Fist fighting style required its practitioners to have massive control over their Chakra.

"Thank you for your cooperation, Natsu-San," Naruto replied, bowing respectfully.

Said Cadet felt rather odd, having not expected to receive such courtesy and sincerity from the young man—but nodded politely, nonetheless.

Meanwhile, Shizuka scowled. She didn't like it when others saw her struggle. But, then, she started blushing, as Naruto turned to her.

"Please continue, Shizuka-San," he said.

"You can drop the 'San'," she replied. "There's no need to be so formal."

Naruto smiled faintly and nodded. "Very well, then… Shizuka."

Said Uchiha blushed and looked away shyly. "Uh... thanks..." Taking a soothing breath, she then calmed down a bit, before glaring at the tree she'd been running up for the past several days. Again, she tried... and again... and again... and again...

Meanwhile, Hinata ran back up after finishing her rest, and stopped upside-down on one of the tree branches. Then, she folded one leg, and stayed put for a bit. Once she started to struggle, Hinata switched legs and kept at it for as long as she could.

Upon coming back down, Natsu informed her that she had improved by ten seconds.

As for Kiba, he was having the same issues as Shizuka, but improving slowly. Learning from his teammates, he saw that getting frustrated would only make it harder. So, he took a break every now and then to cool his head, before going at it, again.

Shizuka, however, was not doing that herself, and thus swiftly become a good example of how frustration was a powerful hindrance. After her fifth attempt, Naruto sighed and approached the grumbling Uchiha. Shizuka immediately turned beet red, as she realized that her crush had draped his arm around her shoulder.

"While I know you don't like my sister," Naruto said, "I'm sure you can agree with something she often likes to say… admittedly more to herself than anyone: 'cool heads are the kind that get shit done.' Take a moment to calm down, then try again."

Shizuka sighed, not liking to be lectured, but silently took his advice. She wouldn't say aloud that he was right—especially because he was using that hussey's words to prove a point. But, as much as she hated to admit it, he was right, nonetheless...

Naruto smiled as the both of them stood up. Seeing Shizuka take a few calming breaths, he then gave her one more tip. "Start off using as little Chakra as you can," he said, "then, gradually increase it, until you start to stick." Seeing the young Uchiha nod, Naruto then leaned in and whispered something into her ear, causing her to feel the heat coming off her cheeks.

Then, Shizuka took one more breath to calm herself, again, before eagerly returning to the exercise. Her crush smiled as the Uchiha found herself nearly doubling the distance she'd previously covered in only three tries.

Despite being as helpful as he was, though, Naruto could feel a pair of crimson eyes giving him a suspicious look. But, before Kurenai could voice concern, he explained in an unreadable drawl, "I merely provided her with some incentive, Yuuhi-San."

The only thing he made clear was that he didn't give a shit what she thought, and Kurenai was not happy about it in the slightest.

In three more tries, Shizuka made even more ground. But, then, on lucky number seven, she slowed to a stop. Now, she stood, perfectly still with her feet firmly planted upon the trunk and her body parallel to the ground. Holy shit, she did it!

Fuck!

The instant she realized her success, Shizuka lost control and started falling… and then, the poor Uchiha blushed so brightly her cheeks practically gave off light, as she realized that Naruto had caught her in mid-air.

"Nicely done," he complemented. "Keep it up, and you should have it down in no time."

Shizuka could only nod in response—her voice failing her, at the moment.

With a nod of his own, Naruto drifted downwards, before placing his starry-eyed passenger back upon the earth. Readdressing Kurenai, he then said, "I do believe that I've seen enough. I shall be off to file my report, then." He then gave a respectful bow. "Do have a nice day, Yuuhi-San."

With that, he melted into a swirl of blue rose petals: flickering off to the Uchiha Clan compound.

Shizuka slumped against the tree she'd been using for the exercise, her heart racing. Did that really just happen? Was she just dreaming? If so, she didn't want to wake up, ever again... Taking a deep, calming breath, the young Uchiha smiled. She could still feel the heat coming off her cheeks! Holy shit...

Shizuka giggled, unable to keep the smile off her face. Friday couldn't possibly come soon enough...

Later that day…

"FUCK!"

Squad Eight found themselves performing quite the familiar song and dance…

"Stupid cat," Kiba groaned.

Come to think of it, just how was that thing escaping? At this point, her whole damn house was basically encased within a giant, electric kennel… on concrete… with motion detectors, multiple guards always on duty, and all kinds of other crazy shit. It honestly didn't make a lick of sense.

Despite the situation, Shizuka was still on cloud nine. 'He invited me on a date,' she thought, a shit-eating grin plastered across her face. 'I can't wait!'

Waiting for her students to catch their quarry as always, Kurenai observed from afar. Shizuka had been uncharacteristically cheerful since that young man spoke to her, a few hours ago. What did he say to her?

Kurenai scowled. Perhaps this 'incentive' was sexual in nature? No, it had to be something lewd… because, of course it was! While she couldn't just yet prove it, the Jounin was absolutely certain of her assertion. There was one thing she did know, after all: that blond was a terrible influence! Case in point, he was surely the one who'd corrupted his sister, somehow.

'There's no way in hell a woman could possibly become so vulgar on her own,' Kurenai reasoned. Then, she remembered what Hinata had screamed to Kiba during their little test and her frown only deepened. 'Clearly, he's already gotten a hold on her, as well. Now he's set his sights on the heiress of the Uchiha Clan. It's only a matter of time before he does something unseemly and gets them pregnant or worse… I must find out what he's planning, before it's too late!'

Natsu, meanwhile, could sense Kurenai's inner turmoil and malice. It had first started surfacing when Naruto left and seemed to be aimed towards him. Was she planning something?

Meanwhile, Uchiha Mikoto and Hyuuga Hiashi sat before Reiko in her personal meeting chamber, enjoying a nice pot of tea provided to them, as they awaited Naruto's return. Surrounded by the usual entourage of Hyuuga Cadet Branch guards and ANBU Squad 13, the two Clan Heads never felt safer than they did here—not even in their own compounds… especially after the Uchiha Clan Massacre.

Suddenly, everyone's attention was quickly redirected to a swirl of blue petals, as Naruto flickered into existence before the Clan Heads.

"Ah, Naruto-Kun," Mikoto greeted with a warm smile, "how goes everything?"

"Quite well," the blond replied. "Everything here in the Pit has become remarkably calm, since Imouto-Sama created the River."

Taking a puff of her pipe, Reiko butted in, just a bit. "Don't sell yourself short, my boy; she couldn't have done it without your help."

"True," Naruto replied. Then, he shrugged. "But, she is still the one who cast the technique… and thought it up."

Mikoto couldn't help but chuckle. "Knowing that girl, she certainly would have…"

"Indeed," Hiashi nodded. Then, he decided now was a good time to get to business. No need to give his clan's council an excuse to irritate him again, eh? "So, how is Hinata?"

"Quite well," Naruto answered with a nod. "She's already mastered tree-walking and is well on her way to the next level. She's also shown herself to be quite satisfied with her new home and her team. Kiba-San tends to mildly irritate her, every now and then, but that is the worst of it."

Hiashi nodded in satisfaction. "Good. Be sure to keep an eye on that boy, though. I want him dealt with if he tries anything funny."

"Will do, Hiashi-San." The blond then turned to Mikoto. "Shizuka's in a similar boat. She has just mastered tree-walking and is showing herself to be quite happy, too."

"But?" Mikoto knew there was one coming.

"She exhibits heavy resentment towards Imouto-Sama." Naruto sighed. "Surprisingly, she's shown herself to be the more emotionally-frail one between the two… No offense intended, but it seems most likely due to her ego."

The young matriarch scowled. That was a far more common problem among the Uchiha than she was willing to admit aloud.

"I've also arranged a meeting with her this upcoming Friday," Naruto added.

Mikoto scoffed. "You mispronounced 'date'," she teased. The Uchiha was a mother, after all; she didn't need to be a Sensor to know exactly what the boy meant.

"It is intended to just be a little chat over dinner at a nice restaurant," the blond assured her. "Getting to know her better first would be preferable."

"Oh, that girl is going to be on cloud nine," Mikoto sighed, both exasperated and amused. Then, she shot Naruto a serious look. "You will take good care of her."

"Of course," he replied with a respectful bow. "I am a man of my word." Upon seeing the Uchiha mother's satisfied nod, Naruto then turned towards his adoptive mother. "Speaking of women I am to care for, how is Imouto-Sama?"

Now, it was Reiko's turn to sigh. "Immeasurably cranky without you around," she stated. "According to Rin, she should also come to term any day, now." Taking a puff of her pipe, she added, "we can say beyond a doubt, now, that Nariko-Chan only takes six months or so to produce a child… at least when you're the father. We'll probably never know how long another man's child would take to develop, though."

Naruto shrugged. "That would be a safe assumption," Naruto commented, "Imouto-Sama has zero interest in any other man, romantically-speaking. I have caught her ogling the occasional woman, though."

"Not surprising," Reiko sighed. "I've suspected that might have something to do with why she's so willing to allow other women near you."

"Possibly…" the blond admitted thoughtfully.

That evening, just as the members of Squad Eight were preparing to go home for the day, Hinata approached Shizuka with an impish grin. "So, what naughty things did he whisper into your ear," the former Hyuuga teased.

Her childhood friend turned beet red.

"Oh, please," Hinata giggled, "you honestly think I didn't notice? You've had a spring in your step for hours! He obviously said something interesting."

Shizuka chuckled; Hinata knew her well. "He told me that if I got my feet to stick in ten more tries, he'd take me out to dinner. Obviously, I couldn't pass up the opportunity impress him."

The former Hyuuga giggled—admittedly jealous, but still happy for her friend. "I counted seven. Congratulations! You simply have to tell me all about it! When's the big day?"

"Friday night," Shizuka beamed. "He'll be picking me up at nine. I can't wait!"

Secretly overhearing her female students indulge in being a bit girly for once, the alarm bells in Kurenai's head went off. She had to do something! Kurenai simply couldn't sit idly by and let that womanizer corrupt another victim!

Natsu, meanwhile, could certainly tell that the Jounin was up to something. What it was, the maid wasn't sure, but it certainly had to do with that date.

That night, Natsu found herself standing before the Semimaru-Uzumaki Twins' apartment door. Visibly nervous, she couldn't believe she was actively helping them. But, the maid's duty came before her personal feelings, at the end of the day. Taking a deep, calming breath, she waited until the little family was done with their dinner before knocking, so as not to be rude.

"Why is that lady at the door," Yoshiko asked, legitimately curious.

"Good question, honey," Nariko replied in a sickly-sweet tone. 'Twas unsettling, but not unexpected…

A few clicks and slides later, Naruto unlocked the door and cracked it open. "Is there something you need, Natsu-San?"

The aforementioned maid bowed respectively. Feeling Nariko's suspicious glare upon her, it was clearly best that this meeting be kept as brief as possible. "I have reason to believe that Yuuhi-San may be intending to act against your interests, Semimaru-Sama."

Both twins scowled but showed mild interest.

"Imouto-Sama and I have suspected as much for some time, now," Naruto pointed out. "I assume you have more to go on?"

"She overheard Shizuka-Sama mention your date, next Friday," Natsu nodded. "I have reason to believe she intends to sabotage it. I could sense her malice, when it was brought up. I think she may have a vendetta against you, in particular, as well… but, I'm not sure why."

"I thank you for the warning," the blond replied with a polite nod. "I could sense her ill will, as well. Keep an eye on her and you will be rewarded. I will inform Hiashi-Sama and Mikoto-Sama in the morning. Is that all?"

"For now… I apologize for the intrusion."

"I wish you a good night, then, Natsu-San."

With that said and done, the aforementioned Hyuuga bowed and returned to her apartment.

Nariko let out a calming breath and gave her brother a dirty look as he closed and locked the door. "If that bitch is lookin' to try somethin' stupid, I want her smoked."

Yoshiko cocked her head in curiosity. "Which one?"

"Either."

"I will inflict the very worst upon her that I can get away with, Imouto-Sama."

"Good boy," Nariko grunted. Then, she groaned uncomfortably and glared at her swollen belly, growling, "and you, behave yourself!"

A few days later, Shizuka desperately tried to regain her composure. It was hard to breathe; her hands were shaking; she broke out into a cold sweat. What if she fucked up? What if she scared him off? What if—

"SHIZUKA!"

"GYAAAH!" Said Uchiha nearly jumped two feet in the air, at her best friend's shout. Then, she unceremoniously fell on her ass.

"I've been calling your name for three minutes," Hinata pointed out, "are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine," Shizuka panted, "just… cold feet…"

The former Hyuuga furrowed her brow. "You've been trying to get in his pants for years! How are you losing your nerve over a dinner?"

"I know, right?" The young Uchiha let out a sheepish chuckle. "I… I guess I'm just nervous. What if I make a fool of myself?"

"Naruto-Kun wouldn't care." There was an uncharacteristic confidence in those words. "He's fucking his own sister—an amoral junky, no less! What could you possibly do to make a man that clearly desperate lose interest?"

Shizuka impishly leered at her friend. "You make him sound easy."

Hinata chuckled nervously. "For you, he probably will be."

"Don't sell yourself short; you have a nice rack under that coat, and I'm sure he finds you cute."

Now, it was the Uchiha's turn to have a hearty laugh, as her friend turned beet red. Damn, she needed that!

"I… I suppose," Hinata admitted. All the conviction she'd previously exhibited was now conspicuously absent. "He seems to have a thing for more… confident women, though."

"Oh, don't give me that! You just need to poke your head out of your shell more often."

"I suppose," Hinata repeated.

After a long pause, Shizuka let out a calming breath. "Either way, thanks for getting me out of my funk. So… what should I wear?"

Not long later, Naruto stood before the door of his charges' apartment. Decked out in a long sleeve orange button-up shirt with black slacks and nice, leather shoes, he was clearly dressed to impress, and his hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail. Finishing the look as usual were his black and orange shades, making him look every bit like the gangster he was.

He looked forward to seeing Shizuka's reaction… Something about the sight of a girl tripping all over herself was a guilty pleasure, though he honestly hadn't the foggiest clue as to why.

Naruto looked at his watch and saw it was 8:59. Figuring he may as well knock now, he did, and was greeted with the sound of Shizuka swearing and asking Hinata to get her heels.

Then, he heard someone scrambling to the door. Naruto's senses told him it was Shizuka… and that she was wearing a nice perfume.

Sure enough, she was the one who answered. "Yes?"

"Are you ready," Naruto asked. "I can wait."

"No need," Shizuka replied opening the door. Then, she turned beet red at Naruto's new look.

Meanwhile, the blond in question eyeballed his date.

Shizuka had opted for a simple but sexy black, silken halter dress. Her hair was done up in a bun with her bangs left free to frame her face. She also wore a white, pearl necklace, white gold hoop earrings and just enough makeup to accentuate her natural beauty—what popped out most were her bright red nails and lipstick. Finishing the look were an expensive, black leather purse and strappy, high-heel sandals.

All-in-all, the look was simple but elegant: showing off just enough to remain classy, while clearly trying to entice.

Naruto smiled. She was trying to seduce him on the first date, wasn't she? He could literally smell it. But, that would have to wait. He didn't want her trying to pry him from Imouto-Sama, and knew this woman would do just that, as it was.

Such details weren't going to stop them from having a good time, though.

After a brief pause, Naruto held out a hand, beckoning her to come. Shizuka blushed harder in response, but wasted no time hopping to his side and wrapping her arms around his right one. The blond couldn't help but chuckle at her enthusiasm.

Before a particularly fancy diner, a blue cyclone of rose petals materialized before dissipating to reveal Naruto and Shizuka.

Almost immediately, said Uchiha was floored. Something like this was in Naruto-Kun's budget?! Holy shit! As the heiress to an extremely influential noble clan, Shizuka knew damn well how expensive reservations for a place like this could be.

"Ah, Naruto-Sama," a voice called out, startling the young woman outta her train of thought. "Right on time, as usual."

The only thing that surprised Shizuka more than the interruption, though, was whom the voice belonged to.

"Ami?! What are you doing here?"

The Uchiha's former classmate giggled. "I had to end up somewhere after dropping out, didn't I?"

The girl in question was a purple-haired chick with grey eyes. As per the dress code of the establishment, she was decked out in a feminine, dark blue business suit with a short skirt and white undershirt. This attire didn't at all match with her odd hairstyle, though. Just as they had been in the academy, Ami's violet tresses were quite long on the left side, reaching down past her breasts, while on the right, they were cropped extremely short. Somehow, though, she pulled the unorthodox do off quite well.

One thing that stood out, though, was a sizeable bulge in her abdomen. For this reason, she was exempt from wearing the usually-mandated high heels instead of the simple pair of black slippers she currently wore.

Shizuka's eyes nearly popped outta her skull. Ami, of all people, was pregnant?! How the hell did that happen? Granted, she and the Uchiha got along fairly well, but the plum-head in question was a notorious bully.

For the life of her, Shizuka couldn't think of any man who would touch her with a ten-foot pole… not knowing how physically close she was to who done it.

Again, Ami giggled. "Just shy of seven months," she said. "I knew I couldn't manage being a single mother as well as a kunoichi, so I chose the former and now I'm here." Upon seeing a still bewildered Shizuka nod, Ami gestured for the young couple to follow. "On to business, then… I will be your hostess for tonight. Please, follow me!"

On the other side of the street, just out of sight, Kurenai slunk on up to follow them. It hadn't taken much effort to figure out where Naruto would bring Shizuka. She was a Jounin for a reason, after all. Now she needed to put an end to this engagement, before it was too late!

Just as this thought passed through her mind, Kurenai came to a brief halt. Suddenly in her path was a woman with black, visor-style sunglasses, a heavy, white, hooded trench coat, black cargo pants and matching combat boots. It was clear that this chick was of the Aburame Clan, despite the red-eyed Jounin being in no position to see the bug-shaped crest on the back of her coat. How anyone—let alone everyone—in that clan could stand wearing such clothing this time of year never failed to baffle Kurenai, among others, but no one really thought to ask.

While still part of the village and her people, the noble clans all had their own autonomy, to some extent. They also largely tended to keep to themselves over the past few generations—resulting in many of their members essentially developing into their own, little subcultures. For few was this more true than the Aburame, in particular. On top of that, the members of said clan tended to come off as… well, kinda creepy—especially due to their apparent fascination with bugs and almost zombie-like apathy.

Brushing these thoughts and her initial surprise aside, Kurenai pressed on. This woman, while certainly unsettling, was ultimately harmless… But, then, the Aburame stepped in her way.

Frowning slightly, Kurenai stepped in the other direction, only for this woman to step in her way, again.

Damn it, she had a student to protect; Kurenai did not have time for such childish games! "Can I help you, Aburame-San?"

"Fukutaichou Aburame Shiroari of Unit 13," the woman corrected—her voice bearing no emotion, as one would expect.

Kurenai flinched. 'Unit 13?! As in the Twins' rumored bodyguards?' That spelled trouble… but, the Jounin carried on, regardless. "I see… again, can I help you?"

"You can," Shiroari replied, "by backing off."

Yup, that definitely spelled trouble… "Would you… care to clarify?"

"Cease and desist your planned course of action or be charged with treason."

"T-TREASON?!" Poor Kurenai nearly shat herself: utterly flabbergasted. Wasn't that taking it a little far?

"You intend to sabotage their date, do you not?"

"Of course not!" If nothing else, her poker-face was impressive…

"I will have you know that I am a Sensor," Shiroari pointed out, resulting in the Jounin before her turning a bit pale. Then, a little, black beetle flew into Kurenai's line of sight. Shiroari held out a hand and let the beetle land on her index finger. "I don't need my little friends' help to know that you're lying."

As she spoke, the little guy crawled up to his mistress's knuckle and entered the back of her hand with a wet squish.

The sound and sight churned Kurenai's stomach, though she didn't show it. "Even if I was, how does that constitute treason?"

"Damaging Public Relations with a Foreign Party in the First Degree," Shiroari clarified. "Furthermore, your crimes also consist of Conspiracy against the Head of a Noble Clan in the First Degree and Overstepping the Boundaries of Authority in the Third Degree." The Aburame then got ready to snap her fingers, clearly as a signal. "This is your final warning: back off."

Kurenai stepped back defensively, scowling. She was many things: vindictive, stubborn, perhaps even a bit prejudiced—but the Jounin in question was also far from dumb enough to take this woman up on her challenge. Shiroari wasn't the only Sensor present, after all. "Very well," she muttered dejectedly, then turned to walk away.

As the red-eyed Jounin left, she failed to notice three violet insects hopping off her nice ass and buzzing on over to their mistress.

The instant Kurenai was out of earshot, Shiroari let out a quiet sigh. "I know, I'm disappointed, too. I wanted to try out that new poison just as badly as you three." She then shrugged. "Oh well… Maybe we'll get another chance, later."

After being taken to their private table in the back, Naruto offered to pull out Shizuka's seat for her. The girl blushed heavily at the gesture, but politely declined. So, they took their seats, as Ami presented them with their menus.

Upon looking at hers, Shizuka's eyes nearly popped out of her head. Holy shit, this was expensive! Even the finest diners she'd visited weren't half this pricey!

"Don't worry about the cost," Naruto told her, as if reading the girl's mind. "I have it covered."

"R-right," the Uchiha sputtered. "Very well, then…"

Just a bit later, Ami waddled off to turn in their order. Meanwhile, Naruto decided to break the ice, as Shizuka nibbled away on an appetizer they'd been provided with.

"So, how have your other neighbors been treating you? Any complaints?"

Shizuka perked up. "No, I'm fine," she chuckled. "Kotohiko's very civil. In all honesty, I'm surprised he hasn't found himself a girl, yet."

Naruto nodded. "He puts his duties first. He'll probably find one when he starts looking, but that doesn't seem to be happening any time soon."

That made sense… It was quite the common practice among members of the Uchiha Clan, actually.

"A-as for Ayame," Shizuka continued, "she's very nice, as far as I can tell. We don't talk much though… and Dosu's… a giant question mark. He just keeps to himself, though I don't have a problem with that."

"He is the reclusive type," Naruto explained. Then, he smiled faintly. "I'm glad you get along."

Shizuka blushed, but smiled with a nod. "So… um," she then began, "how long have you and Nariko been together?"

"It depends on what you mean by together," Naruto answered. "We've been watching each other's back since Okaa-Sama left, when we turned nine. Anko-Neesama and Reiko-Neesama had yet to earn our trust at that point." The blond then leaned forward and laced his fingers, as he continued. "Once puberty fully kicked in at the age of twelve, we found ourselves… caught in an awkward situation. Imouto-Sama and I have been mating ever since."

Shizuka winced. "So it's been six years?"

"Give or take a month or two, yes." Naruto shrugged. "We had no one else to turn to at the time, because you and Hinata-San were still living so far away. Furthermore, we barely knew you at the time and were less-inclined to trust anybody, because of all the people who wanted us dead."

Shizuka winced, again. "I… I'm sorry, had I known—"

"You have no reason to apologize," Naruto interrupted with a dismissive wave. "There is nothing anyone could have done at the time… which was partially our own fault for not trusting our mother's judgment as much as we should have."

The brunette scowled, but nodded.

An awkward, but somehow comfortable silence graced the two as they enjoyed each other's presence as well as their meal and the occasional chit-chat...

Later that night, a very content Shizuka was hugged Naruto's arm, as he escorted her home. Practically speaking, her apartment was next door to his, so he might as well. But, she saw the gesture as rather sweet, nonetheless.

As they turned the corner, Naruto stopped, as he felt his date squeeze his arm. Shizuka went stiff, surprised to see a thoroughly swollen Nariko waiting for them in the hallway.

Said blonde was garbed in her light orange nightgown, leaning against the door to her and Naruto's apartment. There was a calm but longing expression upon her face as she rubbed her belly. Then, as if sensing their gaze, she looked to Naruto and Shizuka, before waddling towards them.

The Uchiha was visibly uneasy, though she put up no resistance when her date approached his sister. Then, Shizuka found herself thoroughly surprised when Nariko wrapped her arms around Naruto and started to purr.

Shizuka looked uncomfortable, at first, but said nothing. Even when Naruto placed his free and on the back of his sister's head and petted her lovingly, the Uchiha remained silent. Even when she noticed Nariko's tattoos, Shizuka was still silent. Despite them being twins, despite the taboo of their relationship, despite the fact that Nariko was most likely pregnant with her own brother's inbred child, the two looked so happy together. They clearly loved each other so much…

Shizuka bit nervously her lip. While admittedly jealous, she couldn't deny that her crush looked genuinely happy. Could it be that she had been wrong about their relationship?

Then, Nariko withdrew and stepped aside, letting Naruto bring Shizuka to her apartment. So, he did just that.

Said Uchiha smiled at the blond, giving him a peck on the cheek. "Thanks for the date," she whispered.

Naruto smiled, placing a hand on Shizuka's cheek. "We should do it again, some time. Have a good night."

Shizuka blushed heavily, her grin widening, before she slipped back into her apartment and got ready for bed.

Once the brunette made herself scarce, Nariko hugged her brother from behind and started purring, again. This was going to be a long night, wasn't it?

Needless to say, their neighbors could do without the lewd noises that would be keeping them up, later on...

That's it for now. Not much going on in this chapter, sadly, as it's the first of a new arc. We're heading off to Nami, soon, though. Can't wait to show the Twins in action! =3 Hoping to have the next one ready in less than a month, as I know my fans are probably chomping at the bit to get some new content.

Speaking of new content, I've also got a oneshot coming up, named the Rkudaime Scandal. If you're reading this for the naughty bits, be on the lookout for that, eh? =3

Any fans of evil, scary-ass danger lolis out there? If so, another fanfic you might be interested is in the works—one of those collabs I mentioned earlier. =3 Its current name is Phantom, but that may change later. I'll do my best to keep you posted.

Finally, to the fans of Silver and Gold, I haven't forgotten you! I'mma need to do some rewriting, but I shall be busting my ass on that, too! I'm also gonna be doing a few touch-ups to the previous chapters of Twisted Bonds, as some nasty errors and other such sloppiness have been brought to my attention.

All-in-all, I'm glad to be back and raising hell! Fuck yeah!

Trivia:

Aburame Shiroari is an OC of mine who will be popping up in several of my fanfics, depending on whether or not I need someone to fill a Jounin-level slot. Her name means "Termite" and, as usual, if you wanna use her for one of your fanfics, just let me know.

She was originally created for Silver and Gold, but it looks like her debut is to take place here, lol. Expect to see her again soon, if you're a fan of that one.

That's it for now. Hope to see y'all soon, eh? =3