Usui's POV

I could be on the rooftop, relaxing in the sunlight away from all the noise and humdrum.

Instead I'm strolling aimlessly again, not for the first time in the past two weeks.

The dirt beneath my feet makes a rhythmic sound as my legs pull me forward on their own accord. Where am I going?

My brain feels so numb and overheated. Like waking up groggy and disoriented after falling asleep outdoors under the sun in summer .

It seems lately my body has grown a mind of its own. Which is no surprise, given my latest fascination. I can't help but smile, the enticing maid costume flashing in my head again.

Shit.

Better change the subject. Think of something else, Takumi, or else someone might notice. I put my hands in my pockets, subtly pushing the fabric of my trousers forward forb camouflage. This is so goddamn annoying. I'm annoying.

I suppose at my age it's not strange to get random boners here and there. Well, hardly random though. More like every day, before falling asleep, upon waking up, in the shower, in the classroom, on the public transport, in the maid cafe. Especially in the maid cafe.

No wonder. She's always on my mind. For some reason, she's everywhere I go.

I just need to relax, perhaps. After all I'm sixteen and healthy. I've met a girl I'm very – extremely – attracted to.

Except I've begun feeling uneasy. Lost – although I'm right where I need to be. Short of breath, even though I'm not running. Wary – I don't know of what.

But the worst of all is this excrutiating feeling of longing, similar to homesickness. This gut-wrenching, physically painful desire to belong someplace. I've never had that desire, perhaps due to my childhood. I've never felt much affection for my parents. I'm perfectly happy on my own.

I really need to stop overanalyzing something that's so simple, really: I want her, because I can't have her. The saying "you want what you can't have" has never been truer. I know I pine for her because of her attitude towards me. She doesn't even like me – she tolerates me. I piss her off. For now, anyway, a dark voice whispers in my head. I hope nobody's around to see me smirking to myself like this.

Woah.

A girl just jumped out of the bushes, facing me. So that's what the rustling sound earlier was about. Do I know her?

I halt, eyeing her expectantly, although knowing already what's coming.

Let her finish what she has to say, then turn it down gently, I think to myself. But I can't even listen to her flustered speech, as my attention is distracted by a commotion on my left.

I groan internally. There she is again, crossing my path. She's waving her arms while scolding some clowning freshman in the school library. Keeping up her demon kaichou reputation.

Look at the girl while she's talking to you, you jerk. It's only polite. But I can't take my eyes off the scene playing out in the library, off her.

Oh shit. Suddenly the stairs flipped. My heart stopping, I inhale sharply. I panic inside, knowing there is nothing I can do from where I'm standing. It's falling right on top of her, she's going to get hurt.

I hear a loud bang, as her arm stops the stair midway in the air, catching the boy with the other arm.

My throat is dry, my palms sweaty.

And suddenly it hits me.

I turn to the girl and sputter some nonsense of a rejection half-baked by my brain, still shocked by the sudden realization.

Feeling light on my feet, I hurry to the building to find her, to check on her injured arm. Knowing her, she's completely disregarding it, probably in the process of saving someone else right now.

As I walk on a strong gust of wind blows warm sand into my face. An unspeakable emotion closes up my throat and I shut my eyes in pain, as suddenly, a line from a book resounds in my head.

"An intense love, a veritable tornado sweeping across the plains—flattening everything in its path, tossing things up in the air, ripping them to shreds, crushing them to bits.."

I swallow with difficulty.

So much for staying out of trouble.

But at least, finally, I understand now.

It's not that she's everywhere I go. It's me who's always looking for her, searching her out among the crowd, going where I hope she'll be.

I've been like a tiny rock that helplessly orbits around a planet on a continuous loop.

My hands are in fists in my pockets, but I feel calm all of a sudden.

A perfect harmony. A sense of purpose.

I don't want to keep gravitating around her like a tiny space rock.

I want to crash onto her like an asteroid, burn through the atmosphere, fast and heavy. Just the way I fell in love with her.

Author's note

The quote is from Sputnik Sweetheart, Haruki Murakami (which I obviously do not own).

I know you were expecting the epilogue to be a wrap-up of the main plot, but I'm simply not good at happy endings (although the ending of this story is by no means unhappy). I do like happy endings when they're well written, but I simply can't write one without feeling fake and corny.

The scene in the epilogue is from the 4th (or the 3rd?) episode of the anime. Remember? I always thought that was the moment when Usui realized he'd fallen for Misaki. Hence the avatar pic of the story! *wink*

Thank you so much for reading Loyalties, everyone!

I have a new story up my sleeve, so look out!

Peace.