Chapter 4

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Rebellion was what the Capitol feared the most. District 13 has tried but they had been destroyed. President Snow's wrath fell upon district 13 and it shall be an example towards the other districts. And it has been for many years. However, time might be changing, and yet I pushed this thought aside. Rebellion is a felony and nothing must jeopardize our tributes' chances of winning.

After dinner, our tributes went to bed. The rest of us remained in the living room for quite some time, Cinna and Portia talking about designs for Peeta's and Katniss' future outfits. Effie was listening to them, commenting here and there.

"So?" I started as I stood next to Haymitch on the balcony. "How are we going to play it out this year?"

"Well, I thought I was the one in charge?" Haymitch replied.

"Well, you did bring me back alive from the game." I reminded him.

"After losing a fair amount of tributes." He said somberly.

"Not this year, you won't."

"Oh, princess, you can't promise that." He shook his head leaning on the railings. I copied him. "But we got a couple of fighters this year. And that would make the difference."

"That and Cinna's handiwork." I added.

"They have a chance."

The day after I walked down the stairs in a pair of cargo pants and a blue shirt. Peeta and Haymitch were already sitting at the table for breakfast. I joined them and sat across from Peeta. Katniss joined us and so did Effie, a few minutes later.

"Busy career. You know what that is?" Haymitch asked our tributes.

"From District 1…" Katniss answered.

"…and 2." Peeta added.

"They've been trained into special academy till they're eighteen and they volunteer." Haymitch continued. "By that point they're pretty lethal."

"But they don't receive any special treatment." Effie said to encourage them or reassure them, I suppose. "In fact, they're staying at the exact same apartment as you do. And I don't think they let them have desert and you can."

"So, how good are they?" Peeta asked.

"Very good." I retorted. "Proof is they won almost every year."

"Almost." Effie reminded me.

"But they can be arrogant." Haymitch continued. "And arrogance can be a big problem." And he looked pointedly at Katniss. "I hear you can shoot."

"I'm alright." Katniss shrugged.

"Actually, better than alright." Peeta said. "My father buys her squirrels. He say she hits them right in the eye, everytime."

"Peeta's strong." Katniss said in return.

"What?"

"He can throw a hundred-pound sack of flour right over his head. I've seen it."

"Well, I'm not gonna kill anybody with a sack of flour."

"No but you have a better chance of winning if somebody comes after with a knife."

"I have no chance of winning." Peeta snapped. I put down my glass of orange juice. "None! Alright?"

"Peeta, come on." I interjected.

"It's true." He looked at me. "Everybody knows it. You know what my mother said? She said 'District 12 might finally have a winner.' But she wasn't talking about me. She was talking about you." I cast a quick look at Haymitch. "I'm not very hungry." And Peeta left the table.

Without a word, I got up and followed him. "Peeta! Wait!" I called after him. He paused in the hallway. I stopped next to him. "Come on, follow me."

He followed me up the flight of stairs that led to the roof. And I took him to the Garden that was on the roof. A place where our conversation could be drowned out for whoever that might want to listen to us.

"Why do you think so low of yourself?" I asked him.

"I'm only saying the truth. I'm not a survivor like Katniss." Peeta retorted.

"Everyone from District Twelve are survivors." I replied. "To me, you are a survivor."

"That's not gonna make me win the game." Peeta countered.

"This attitude is not gonna make you win the game." I warned him. "It's the first time in years that Haymitch is actually acting as a real coach. You know why?" I asked him. "Because he believes in you and Katniss. He believes that you have a chance of winning those games." I rested my hands on his shoulders. "You need to believe it too, Peeta. I believe in you." We smiled at each other. "So, don't give up. Not just yet." I threw my arm over his shoulders and pulled him towards the stairs. "One more thing, that strength of yours, don't show it. Hide your skills to others as long as you can. Haymitch and I agreed on that one."

"You two agreed?" Peeta asked.

"Surprising, I know." We both chuckled as we walked down the stairs.

Katniss and Peeta were at the training sessions. Haymitch and I've decided to go in the lobby in which they put up the odds of the District's tributes have to win. Our District was going with a solid 23 against 1. Not really good. But it didn't mean anything. The game hasn't started yet, there were still three days before the start of the game. Everything could change until then. The numbers were not what brought us here. No, what we wanted to find was eventual sponsors for our tributes. The people of the Capitol was pretty wealthy and only asked for an excuse to spent money. Of course, with the chances that our district seemed to have of winning, none of them would actually support us. But we spoke with a few of them. It's crazy what a smile and a few nice words will do for a few people. It's very much helpful.

"Next time, you do the talking and the smiling." I warned Haymitch. "My cheeks are hurting."

"The talking I can do. The smiling…not as gorgeous as yours." Haymitch smirked pouring himself a glass of whiskey.

"I feel so flattered." I retorted dryly.

"You should." Haymitch sat down on the couch.

"Anyway, some of the people we talked to seemed interested."

"Not enough to promise to invest in our tributes."

"You know how it goes." I puffed out. "Some of them are already sponsoring District 1 and 2 and others wait till the game starts before taking a decision." I sat down in the armchair. "At least they made an impression. And they need to do the same thing tomorrow."

"Tomorrow. They will bring you in one by one. And evaluate you." Haymitch told the tributes during dinner. "This is important because high ratings will mean sponsors."

"And God knows we need them." I said sipping from my glass.

"This is the time to show them everything." Haymitch continued as I didn't say anything. "There'll be a bow, make sure you use it. Peeta, you make sure to show your strength. They'll start with District 1, so the two of you will go last." He paused. "Well, how else to put this. Make sure they remember you!"

I was back in the arena, running for my life. It's the middle of the game. Out of the twenty-four tributes, eight remains. The tribute of District One is running after me, chasing me through the woods. I was fast and light on my feet but Midas was quicker and stronger. He tackled me and I hit the ground harshly. The air was knocked out of my lungs. I tried to crawl away from him but he just pulled me under him.

He turned me on my back and straddled me. I heard the distinct sound of a knife being pulled out of its sheath. I blocked his arm as soon as the knife came down on me. Midas was bigger, stronger and there was no way that I would come out of this fight alive. Instinctively, my hand went up to his face. I dug my nails in his face and pulled his ear, with the desperation of someone who wanted to live.

He pried my hands away from his face. His knife came down, I turned slightly to the side and the knife met flesh. I cried out as it pierced my left shoulder. But pain or not, I had to fight for my life and I had no intention to die today. He withdrew his knife from my shoulder and again his knife came down on me. This time, I was the quickest one. I grabbed a rock nearby and smashed it in his temple. He cried out and fell to the side. I rolled on my stomach and pushed myself up quickly.

He shook his head as if he was clearing his head. I charged at him and pinned him down on the ground, I grabbed the knife tucked in my waistband and swung at Midas. He looked at me, shocked and stunned. I was confused for a few seconds as to why he was looking at me this way. And then I saw blood pooling out of his throat.

So much blood was coming out of his throat. I just watched shocked. All I was thinking about was to survive. Not killing him. And yet I did. I got up, my hands were covered with dirt, grass but there was no blood there. Nonetheless, I knew that his blood was on my hands.

I wanted to stop watching but I just couldn't turn my eyes away. I heard the gurgling noise his mouth was making as blood was now coming from it and from his nose. He looked at me as if asking for help. He was losing so much blood, so fast. He choked on his own blood. I stepped away from him. My knife fell to the floor, bile rose in my throat. The gurgling stopped, the choking stopped, his eyes rolled back in his head and…

…I sprang upright in my bed. I stumbled out of bed and went to the bathroom. Everything I ate during dinner came back up and finished in the toilet. The images from the dream…the memory was still vivid in my head. As if it happened like it was yesterday. Although, it happened almost twenty years ago.

The light came on in the bathroom and I squeezed my eyes shut. I heard the water running before something cold and wet was put on the back of my neck.

"Did you take your pills tonight?" I heard Haymitch's voice asked.

"I don't remember." I replied. He passed the cold and wet towel over my face. "Do you dream of them sometimes?"

"Why do you think I'm drinking?" Haymitch scoffed.

"Maybe I should start doing this." I continued content of the cold and wet sensation on my face. I looked up at him. "I want it to stop, Haymitch. I want to forget everything. I can't…" I started to choke on my words as tears welled up in my eyes. "I can't…do this…anymore."

Haymitch pulled me to him. "You can." He said softly as I heaved up a sob. "You hear me, Ash. You can and you will." I buried my face in his shoulder. "You are not alone on this one. I'm with you." I nodded in his shoulder. "I'm with you."