I just recently finished catching up with the rest of civilization and have now earned the right to say I have watched with great nail-biting and edge-of-seat anticipation all intense and heart-warming seasons of fabulous penmanship and acting, in the event that I have at times fallen out of my seat with being on the edge and everything. Without further ado, and while the Gilmore dust has yet to settle, I have decided to take on my version of the non-existent season 8, beginning with episode 1: The Longest Night.

S8E1

The Longest Night

Open scene with Lorelai and Luke strolling around town.

"Stars Hollow sure seems a lot lazier and slower today," says Lorelai to Luke.

Luke places his hands in his pockets. "Hmm, must be something in the water."

"Ugh, hopefully not pickle juice but more than likely, it is. I refuse to think it has anything to do with Rory's going away."

"Yeah, wait. Whatever happened to the whole freight of pickles turning over? Did we all just decide to forget about it?"

"I think we all called for a town meeting to petition the pickle smell and allocate the town funds to get rid of it."

"Well needless to say, the money was put to good use."

Lorelai sniffs the air. "Evidently."

Kirk frantically runs up to the pair.

"Lorelai! Lorelai! Rory's gone!"

"Yes, we are aware of that, all 12 consecutive hours and counting. You should learn how to catch your breath, Kirk."

"Folks are saying she ran away, is that true Lorelai?"

"Couldn't be any more true. Where have you been?"

"What happened? Did mother and daughter have a tiff? Give me the play by play."

"Many a tiff, Kirk, but you see this tiff was way bigger than any tiffs we've ever had and Rory's decided not to come back for at least another few montths, so we agreed. And get this, it's so bad, she wants me to start calling her Lorelai now." Lorelai slowly nodded for effect. All the while, Luke looks down while attempting to hide his smirk. Kirk looks back in disbelief.

"Wow, must be serious."

"But don't go spreading this around, ok? It's just between you and me," Lorelai says.

"And Luke." Kirk gestures to Luke.

"And Luke for that matter," Lorelai added dutifully.

"So, what's in the box, Kirk?" Luke nods his head towards the box.

"Just a few antiques I've gotta drop off at Mrs. Kim's, and I have a strong feeling it's nothing I would want to buy myself. Something inside is moving back and forth every time I take a step forward with my left foot. See?" He demonstrates by taking a step forward. Lorelai and Luke listen intently and exchange looks. "Maybe it hates left feet," says Kirk.

"So it's not yours?" asks Luke.

"What's not mine?"

"The box, Kirk. The stuff that's in the box."

"No, the box is mine, but the stuff in it per se is not."

"Ok..." Lorelai adds uncomfortably.

"Lorelai, I'm sure you've had lots of boxes that don't belong to you, right Luke?"

"Only Lorelai can answer that, Kirk."

"It's true, Kirk." Lorelai looks down and clutches Luke while gesturing to Kirk. "There's a...cat...behind..." Kirk turns around.

"Oh great, now I'm attracting the felines and I don't know why. I just washed this argyle sweater, scrubbed my trousers with baking soda AND lemon *twice* AND got my shoes shined by the shoe shiner."

Lorelai to Luke, whispering "Shoe shiners are still a thing?"

Kirk to cat "Heel boy or girl, heel."

"Kirk, it's a cat, not a dog. Cats don't heel. Or at least I don't think they do."

Says Luke, "He must really like you, Kirk, that or the box."

"Oh no. I am not giving my box to this culprit, not when it has so many practical uses."

"No, Kirk, I just meant he's probably attracted to what's inside the box."

"Sounds plausible, but I won't take that chance. I need to go and figure this out. Good day, Lorelai. Luke."

The cat continues to follow Kirk.

Luke to Lorelai. "I take it Kirk wasn't at the going-away party?"

"I had no idea. I totally thought he was there. He doesn't miss a thing and almost everyone catches up one another in this town. Something really must be in the water. Even that cat senses it."

"Definitely unheard of," Luke says.

Lorelai looks behind her. "Aww, at least it's a gray cat. Seeing that cat strangely reminds me of my own cutie."

"You have a cat? Since when?"

"No, I mean Paul Anka. With him being a pet and everything."

"Oh no, Paul Anka is way cuter."

"I don't know, comparing cats to dogs is like comparing apples and oranges."

"True."

"But dogs, I mean, gosh. I've always seen myslef with a teeny, cutesy labradoodle and not some shaggy grandiose softie."

"Sorry I can't be a cutesy Chris and instead had to be some shaggy grandiose softie. But at least I don't drool."

"Oh, stop it."

*pause*

Luke looks down. "So are you missing Rory yet?"

"Are you kidding? I miss her even when she's at Lane's or even when she's downstairs sleeping in her bedroom. All 200ft away."

"So is that a yes?"

Lorelai looks up. "Ah, this is a different kind of miss. You see, she's practically on the other side of the country. This is an advanced Yale miss. Give it another hour and I'm sure to break down and sputter like the Jeep Wrangler and bawl my eyes out in the process. Trust me, it will not be pretty."

Luke faces Lorelai. "Lorelai listen. I know it's hard in the short run. No one wants to let go. But you did the right thing. This is Rory's big break. She deserves it. She's going to be ok."

Lorelai smiles goofily. Luke looks taken aback. "Why are you smiling? You should at least be crying tears of joy. That was supposed to be the effect of my mini speech."

"Sorry Luke. I don't know. I guess-I'm just still not over it. I mean, you and me this close like this. I don't know! It's-refreshing." Luke looks seriously at Lorelai. She continues. "No. It's fantastic." Both lean in for a kiss. "And thank you for that mini speech. Although it wasn't so mini. I needed to hear that. You have no idea, Luke."

"You're welcome, Lorelai." Both continue to hold hands and look at one another. "So...you wanna get some coffee at this place called Luke's Diner?"

"Hey, I know that place. Isn't that the restaurant that was ambushed by a bunch of random haystacks not too long ago, so to speak?"

"Yep, that's the place. That's also the place we stopped by when we had 5am coffee this morning until Rory took off. Also known as my workplace."

"Sounds like a plan. I hope they got rid of that silly 'no cell phones' sign. I mean, who doesn't own a cell phone in Stars Hollow? *stupid question, don't answer that.*"

"Very, and for the record, it was cynical Jess' idea to hang up the sign."

"Hmm, learn something new every day."

"Yep yep."

"5 bucks says that stray cat is still curiously courting Kirk."

"You're on."

Lorelai and Luke turn around just in time to see a tail wagging behind Kirk as Krirk turned the corner. Kirk faintly says "shoo shoo" in the distance while onlookers exchange glances.

Lorelai offers her hand for the bet payout along with a told-you-so expression, but Luke takes her hand into his hand instead.

"Coffee's on me." They walk off.

*Cue Intro*