Stiles didn't cry at the funeral, just stared at the casket and willed for it all to be a dream. His father's hand was on his shoulder the entire time, letting Stiles borrow some of his strength. Scott was there, and Lydia and Allison. Isaac had travelled from Paris, and Malia had showed up. Stiles didn't think it was fair for none of Derek's family to be there, but he was glad that there were so many friends.

He was aware-couldn't stop thinking about, really-that he had been the last person to see Derek alive, and the thought cut like a knife. When he had left Derek's apartment that day, he had been so excited for a second chance with Lydia he forgot he was supposed to be supporting Derek. Really, he should've seen it coming, Derek wasn't exactly good with grief. Even if he was so familiar with it.

Stiles should have insisted that he stay the night, he could've spoken to Lydia any time, Derek needed him. He had been selfish, he had been stupid, despite how Scott had said it wasn't his fault. Stiles still felt guilt fill him, every cell in his body felt heavier, and he knew he would carry that unstoppable sadness with him forever.

"He's with his family now, that's the important thing." The Sheriff said softly into Stiles' ear, before turning on his heel and leaving the graveyard.

Stiles couldn't bring himself to be that optimistic, and felt like every positive thought in his head was another betrayal of Derek, another way he'd let Derek down. Everyone else left, but Stiles stayed, he had to say one final goodbye before leaving Derek in peace.

"Hey." He said awkwardly, shifting his weight between his feet. "I just need to tell you something. I'm sorry, and I hate myself, and I get it if you're up there hating me too. I get it. But I'll never forget you because you're...unforgettable. And I'm sorry, you have no idea how much, more than I can put into words. Wherever you are, I hope it's somewhere beautiful."

Stiles began to make his way away from the grave, but turned back around after only a few steps. "One more thing." He added, his voice breaking as tears began to roll down his cheeks-he hadn't cried since his mother had died, but there he was sobbing like a baby-"Derek Hale, I..."