Beacon Rules

By: FunahoMisaki

(A/N: I own nothing and read last chapter)

276. Whoever arranged the "friendly" three way free for all between Ruby, Penny, and Pyrrha... RUN.
Honestly the fight destroyed most of Beacon and they didn't even go all out! Who thought it was good idea?!
277. To whoever is responsible for sneaking Ruby into oversized animal pajamas, please stop for your own safety.

A. We get it. She's adorable when she first wakes up, and the animals just make it better. But after repeatedly gaining access to one of the most secure people on the planet, security gets twitchy. Glynda was proposing claymore mines, and we're not sure she was kidding.
She's not
278. Ruby Rose is not for on call weapon repair.

A. First, giving Ruby your weapon is giving her implied consent to any "modifications" she may give it. Don't cry if your weapon summons Cthullu for some reason.

B. Yes Ruby will take a look if you ask her nicely. She's really too nice to say no. Do we all remember the "Courier Ruby" incident?

C. If Ruby reaches the point that the schematics all blend together in her head you might get an awesome superweapon... but you're more likely to get a horrible mechanical failure at the worst possible time. Roll the dice at your own peril.

D. For Oum's sake, she's only 15. Let her enjoy her childhood while she can, twisted though it may be.

Honestly after the first few summonings Cthullu wanted to meet Ruby…the Hunters nearby took that to mean that he wanted to hurt her somehow…he is unable to be summoned for another two months.

279. I THOUGHT WE WERE THROUGH GIVING RUBY IDEAS! WHO LET HER WATCH GUYVER, AND WHICH KAMEN RIDER DRIVER DOES SHE HAVE?

Many couldn't tell what horrified them more, the fact that someone let her watch the show…or the fact that no one could tell what Driver she had until she used it

(Thank you for numbers 276 to 279 Archangel N. Bloodhaven! Sorry I screwed that up!)

280. Don't let Ruby meet Black Widow, Matia Hill, Bobbi Morse or Melinda May

A. Goddamnit Yang! We know it was you that told both the Lady Sif of Marvel and of Percy Jackson (Fanfiction The Exiled) about Ruby and led them to her.

B. And now Athena, Aphrodite and Hera have met Ruby as well...dear God we are doomed

It would now be appropriate to call Ruby the Princess of the Heavens. She has all of the Olympus and some of the other most powerful immortal women wrapped around her pinkie.

(Thank you for that one GothicPheonix)

281. Whoever is responsible for getting Yang the summer maiden powers must be abruptly shot.

A. She now can kill anyone much easier

B. Cinder now has 3 of 4 maidens under her control
At least they were all protective of Ruby which meant she really is the safest girl in the world.

282. Due to Ruby and Cinder Increasing the Population of Grimm by unknown means, The population is at an all-time high. You may now resume killing them.
A few perverts were spreading rumors about how the two increased the Grimm population… they were abruptly silenced brutally.
283. Melanie and Neptune are Not A Thing. Melanie is perfectly happy with Scarlet.
We don't even know how that rumor started.
284. Weiss and Mercury are now Married. Juane stop hitting on her because it will result in bodily harm
Weiss was more upset at the fact that Ruby looked better than her in the Maid of Honors dress than she was upset about her father refusing to attend.
285. Ruby now knows everything about dating be advised she and Cinder are now in a bigger relationship then before.

A. No Ren this does not give you the excuse to blackmail Cinder.
We said she knew everything about dating not sex people, she's still confused about that thankfully.
286. Whoever gave Nora the Subspace Bomb is to be immediately arrested for am act of war. If Ruby Hadn't sent it back to the dimension it came from, the world would not exist right now.

A. We are grateful to team CRDL for stopping Nora from setting it off

For once the boys were the heroes and humble about it…mainly because Ruby had ordered them to distract Nora while she took care of the bomb…who knew Cardin could juggle and dance at the same time?
287. Juniors Bar is not a brawling arena Yang.

A. Seriously just stop it you've already trashed it twice.
It's only because she's his heaviest drinker that he even lets her in the door anymore.
288. Whoever showed Cinder and Team RWBY jem and the holograms is to be shot. The girls now believe they're the holograms, and JNPR Believe they are the Missfits.
Honestly it took the professors a week to convince the girls they weren't holograms…team JNPR are still misfits though.
289. Ice Queen by Within Temptation is not a valid song to play when Weiss or Winter walk in the room. Remember those Maiden Powers Weiss Has? She will use them.
The only one who can safely do that is Ruby, Yang uses this to her advantage whenever she can and usually ends up hospitalized because of Ruby's inability to lie.
290. Cinder is not Summer Rose. Stop with the theories people

A. Ruby is Dating her! She would not date her mother
Besides Summer had pale skin, a white cloak and silver eyes. Cinder looks nothing like her.
291. Would Emerald Sustrai please stop stealing everyone's stuff? It is getting to the point where we have to have Atlas Guards posted outside everybody's rooms.
At least she wasn't dumb enough to steal from Ruby's room, Goodwitch wasn't joking about the mines.

(Thank you Anastasia Fall for numbers 281 to 291)

292. Cookies are not a good power source.

A. YANG!

B. Ruby now has a cookie powered dart gun.
It actually runs on cookies and is capable of bringing down a raging Nevermore.

293. Ruby is not to kidnap bakers to make cookies.

A. Ruby put the dart gun down!

She didn't seem to realize she only had to ask nicely and she'd have all the cookies she would ever want or need.

(Thank you for numbers 292 and 293 ultima-owner)

294. It is allowed for teams RWBY or JNPR watch the crime shows NCIS and Law & Order occasionally for edutainment purposes.

A. Our crime rates have NEVER been lower.

Ruby and her team were great detectives that could always grab the criminals, and Team JNPR were great at forensics. Just don't ever show Ruby Law and Order SVU, we don't need her to see that at all.

(Thank you for that one Kyuubi-kun45)

295. Weiss Schnee is not allowed to dress up as Queen Elsa from Frozen, nor is she allowed to create a snow castle high in the mountains.
She tried once, it didn't end well. Enough said…well that and the fact that everyone had new reasons to call her Ice Queen, only now it had Snow Queen added to it.
296. Nora's Ursa and Ruby's Beowulf Grimm are not allowed to play together. Several students still show marks of their biting. Nobody dares to kill them, because their owners are much more terrifying.

Apparently the two had a competition of who could bite the most…Sniffer won by two bites, The Ursa, called Syrup of course, was pouting for days

(Thank you for 295 and 296 SimplyRV)

297. Ruby is not to watch NCIS. Do we want her to learn the Gibbs slap?

A. Grimm it, Jaune.

To be fair he was still her servant so he had to follow her orders first and foremost…

298. Ruby is not to upgrade the bullhead.

Do we REALLY need to explain this one people?

(Thank you for numbers 297 and 298 Black Ace 0)

299. If you value your life and want to see another day never ever hurt Yang Xaio Long

A. That goes for you Adam

Really? Ruby broke a boy for making her sister cry…what do you think she'd do to someone who hurts her sister?

(Thank you for 299 knight7275)

300. For Monty's sake people don't lock Goodwitch and Ozpin into a closet together!

A. They are both highly trained Hunters and dangerous as all hell…plus they aren't an item!

Most of the students and staff were laughing their asses off when Cinder and Emerald pranked the two adults by locking them in together…Cinder was abruptly dethroned and Emerald slammed into detention for a year.