Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's note: this fanfic is set seven years after City of Heavenly Fire. It contains spoilers and references to every Mortal Instruments book, to Infernal Devices, The Bane Chronicles and Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy. I hope you'll enjoy it!

"It's been seven years, Jonathan."

The girl was standing still at the shore of Lake Lyn, her red hair slowly flowing with the winter breeze. She was dressed in a heavy coat and despite her white scarf her cheeks were bright red from the cold.

"Seven years since the day I met you for the first time—the same day that I lost you." Clary sighed looking at the lake, still seeing it in her mind: those green eyes, finally clear of all evil, the way they looked at her. And then the way they closed forever.

"I'm sorry for coming alone this year, I know Jace is usually here as well but—" she stopped, suddenly looking away, her hands closing into fists. The trees were bare and white with snow, the silence so thick it looked like another dimension. A dead one. When she turned again towards the calm water, her eyes were filled with tears. "Do you remember us coming last time? Everything was perfect. Will didn't like the snow too much, but I wanted you to meet him."

Clary crouched down and grabbed some snow in her gloved hand, letting it take the shape of her fingers while she closed them. Then she discarded it, throwing it back on the ground.

"A lot changed Jonathan. Too much. My life is very different from what it used to be." Her voice was bitter now. "I don't think Jace will come again to see you. I don't even know if I'll return. Because, you see, this is all your fault. Even now, dead since seven years, your shadow ruins our lives. Even now you succeed in destroying everything I care about."

Her green eyes dried up while she looked at the lake with a disgusted expression on her face. "You know, all these years, while I came here to talk to you, I always hoped that the Jonathan part of you, the one that was never allowed to live, was safe in Heaven somehow. I still hope that. But now all I can think about is Sebastian, the wicked monster that he was, the twisted being that wanted this world to burn in flames. And I hope with all my heart that Sebastian is now rotting in the deepest part of Hell. May he never find peace. I want him to suffer forever, like I am. Like I'll suffer for the rest of my life. I hate you Sebastian. May your demon soul be damned for all eternity."

Clary turned around and started walking away, never once looking back. If she did she knew she would crumble on the ground crying like a baby.

The Institute was cold that morning but Clary barely felt it while training. Seven years of actively shadowhunting had made wonders on her body, gifting her with a new found agility and a fluid grace she would have paid for when she was sixteen. The sword in her hand was like an extension of her arm, swinging back and forth at lightning speed, blocking every blow Simon tried and counterattacking. She recognised the moment the sparring got serious by the annoyed look in her parabatai's eyes. Simon hated losing and that was why she loved training with him: the others took it seriously but were always careful enough not to hurt each other while Simon always threw himself into the fight like it was real, like a demon was in front of him, and not just Clary. That was also the reason they always trained in full fighting gear, so they wouldn't be hurt too much if they got carried away.

Maybe Jace affected him a bit too much, she thought with an amused smile, they fight with the same spirit.

She froze for a moment but quickly recovered, parrying Simon's blow at the last second. You're an idiot Clary. Stop thinking about Jace, this is why you are training so hard.

"Don't zone out, silly." Simon smiled behind his sword. "Next time I won't slow down not to hit you."

"As if you could!" She replied grinning. "Save that for your dreams, Loverboy."

She chuckled as Simon lunched forward again, dodging him but then he laughed suddenly lowering and kicking her legs, effectively unbalancing her and making her fall on the ground. He pointed his sword at her throat, smiling. "You were saying, Fray?"

She snorted, accepting defeat and sitting up. "Consider it a gift for the day. And I'm going by Fairchild since years, Simon."

"You'll always be Fray for me. It's just your name. " He winked at her before sitting down, heavily panting. "And as for my name, it's Lovelace, not Loverboy!"

Clary hit his shoulder while laughing. "Oh come on, you know you love it, my dear Lord Montgomery."

"Oh God!" Simon cried, his cheeks a deep red now. "You're never going to forget that, are you?"

"Could I? My poor, innocent eyes…"

"Well, that's your fault for not knocking before coming in my room. You weren't supposed to find me and Isabelle like that!"

She laughed again, thinking for a moment of how much she and Simon changed through the years. They were stronger of course, but the main changes weren't physical. Back when they still weren't involved in the Shadow World, Simon could have never joked about being found in a compromising position with his girlfriend. Well, he probably never thought about having a real girlfriend as well, someone who could understand him like Isabelle could, someone to share everything with. Being involved with the Shadowhunters, being forced to be a vampire at first and then a Shadowhunter himself deeply changed him, getting rid of his insecurities and making him grow. Having his whole memory back from the moment he Ascended certainly contributed as well and although George Lovelace's death was a wound that would probably never stop bleeding, it shaped him, gave him a new identity. He was no longer a boy, Clary knew that. He was a confident man now, a brave fighter and her parabatai. She couldn't stop thanking for that because Simon, as always, was her solid rock.

And Clary? From an average girl with a passion for drawing to the centre of the Mortal War first and the Dark War later. Way to change. And now she was a member of the Council as well, chosen from the New York Conclave to represent them. She had to thank her gift with runes for that of course: she couldn't count the times when, during a Council session, a rune appeared in her mind to resolve the issue they were discussing. Life was easier for Shadowhunters now and Clary was almost expected to pop up with a new rune every time there was a problem. A new book was being written with all the runes she had uncovered as well; yes, life was definitely easier for the Nephilim now. A bit too easy maybe.

"You were distracted today, Clary." Simon's voice brought her back to the present. "Is everything ok?"

Ok? No, nothing was ok. Nothing would ever be ok again.

She closed her eyes aching to tell Simon, aching to tell him everything, even knowing she never could, but before she could answer the door of the training room opened and the words died in her throat when Jace walked in. He hadn't changed much, still as beautiful as ever. Maybe more now that he was starting being more of a man and less of a boy. There was a powerful aura around him, something that shouted confidence and strength, but his eyes were empty, surrounded by dark circles that spoke of endless nights spent awake, tossing and turning in his own bed. The same eyes Clary had.

Simon anxiously looked at his parabatai but she was already on her feet, looking everywhere but at the blond man slowly approaching.

"I'll see you tomorrow Si." She said, her voice tightly controlled. "I have to portal to Idris this afternoon, for a Council meeting. I'll be back in the evening after it's done."

Simon nodded and she walked away, swallowing and keeping her gaze down.

"Jace." She greeted with a cold voice, walking past him without raising her eyes.

"Clary." He answered just like her, his eyes fixed on the other side of the room.

As she reached the door, she heard his metallic voice talking to Simon.

"Get up, Lovelace. Time to train."

She closed the door on Simon's resigned sigh and ran away.