For some strange reason, according to ffnet stats, the previous chapter seems to have dropped off the radar for a heap of readers. So in case you missed it, please go back and read it as this chapter will make a whole lot more sense.

Chapter Fourteen

Joe drifted between trying to keep his eyes open and strange dreams that jolted him awake again. He had argued for all he was worth to be allowed to go to the court hearing and give his testimony, but Hiram had assured him that he had a plan. He had promised to come and get Joe if he thought it was needed and Joe had reluctantly given up the fight. He would not ever admit that he felt a sense of relief at the plan as his body just didn't seem to have any strength left. Sitting up for any length of time left him feeling drained and the idea of a wagon trip to Virginia City made him feel nauseous. Still, he could not live with the idea that Nate was not brought to justice.

He lifted his eyelids once again and forced himself to keep them open. Stacey was standing by the window with a closed book in her hand, but she was clearly away somewhere else. He knew that Hiram did not expect her to testify so early in the trial and she had chosen to stay at the Ponderosa for the day. In the coming days, she would have to give her story and he felt his heart rate rising at the thought. He noted the blue scarf she wore around her throat and he felt his fists clenching into the blanket as he remembered the reason for it. The look on her face as Nate had threatened to slit her throat brought a growl from the pit of his stomach and she jumped in alarm.

"Joe? Are you in pain?"

Pain was a relative term, he had decided. The doc's morphine had carried away any vestige of pain and yet when he woke up as it wore off, the pain had seemed to double in intensity. When Paul decided to take it away from him, he had wanted to argue. The cloud of oblivion killed every kind of pain, even the pain in his chest that threatened to choke him whenever he started to think too much. And there was the rub. He had far too much time to think and far too many thoughts tormenting him.

"No, I'm fine."

Stacey was already sitting beside him on the chair and he smiled back at her as best as he could. He wanted to see the look of worry go away and the smile come back that he knew was hidden under there.

"What time is it?"

Before she could respond, the sound of horses in the yard below had her back on her feet and checking to see who it was. A group of hands rode in and began tying horses to the hitching rail, but there was no sign of anyone else. Stacey held her breath as she waited for more riders. Was their absence a good thing or a bad thing? Suddenly she saw Hop Sing burst out of the front door and start talking to Hank. Wild gesturing from the man caused her to worry even more and her heart seemed to stop in her chest. Suddenly she saw Hop Sing turn for the house and within minutes he was at the bedroom door.

Joe watched as Hop Sing smiled at him and knew that didn't mean anything. Hop Sing would put a brave face on anything if it meant saving him some worry.

"What's going on? Where's Pa?" Joe tried to sit up and he groaned again as the muscles in his back protested.

"You no move. Your fader on his way home. Tell you everything. But you no need to go to court."

"What does that mean?"

Joe's imagination was running wild as he considered the incomplete news. He hated being left behind that morning and he would not admit to anybody that he still feared what Nate was capable of. He had seen the madness in the man's eyes and heard the hatred that spewed from his lips. He shivered as he considered the threats the man had made that his memory was slowly dredging back up to the surface.

Stacey noted his reaction and moved to pull the blanket up higher. "Rest. They'll be home soon enough."

Joe stared at her without responding. She could not possibly understand his anxious thoughts and need to see his family was still in one piece. It would be another three very long hours before they heard horses in the yard below.

Ben strode into Joe's room and smiled at Stacey as she removed herself from the only chair. He settled himself beside his son and was not surprised when Joe grasped for his hand.

"It's over, Son."

It wasn't that Joe didn't believe his father, but it could not be that simple. Three little words to wipe away months of fear and pain and anger. Words would not form in his mouth and he stared at his father's face, searching for answers.

"Joe, Nate confessed to trying to kill you and he's locked up in Roy's jail."

"You shoulda seen Pa and Hiram get it outta him!" Hoss beamed at Joe as he nodded towards Ben. "Best piece of acting I ever did see!"

"So … he's going to hang?" Joe could barely speak and he could not reconcile the relief coursing through him with the nausea rising up from his stomach.

Ben shifted a little as he shook his head. "No, he won't." He squeezed Joe's hand and hurried on to explain. "Nate has been declared insane and he'll be locked up for life in a sanitarium, but he can't be hung."

Joe's grip on his father's hand intensified and Ben could feel the tremor running through him. "He'll never hurt anybody again. Joe, there's a bigger story to all of this and justice is being served. I promise you, Son. I wouldn't have left that courtroom today if I thought otherwise."

Joe felt numb as he heard his father's words.

Justice.

What was justice anyway?

He had dreamed of that day many times and each time he woke up in a cold sweat. The wound in his shoulder had all but healed and yet it still ached. He wasn't sure if it was just in his head and he would not ask Paul a question he wasn't sure he wanted answered. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the face of a madman laughing at him. He felt his skin crawl and wanted to climb out of bed and take a bath. Nothing would ever really scrub off the dirt he felt still clung to him.

The scar across his back was a whole other story. He could not see it, but it dominated every hour of his day, whether waking or trying to sleep. The laudanum brought relief, but the ache never really went away. His body would carry the legacy of his encounters with Nate for the rest of his life. He had kept going on the idea that the man would soon hang at the end of a noose and he felt somehow cheated by the news that would not happen. He felt sick at his own thoughts. Pa had taught them that vengeance was not their way, but he felt his gut churning as he could not contain his emotions any longer.

The sound of voices was muffled as if they were coming from a distance and it wasn't until a bright light shone in his face that he jolted back to the present. Paul was seated where his pa had been and looking extremely worried.

"Pa?" He batted away the lamp that Paul was holding up and anxiously searched the room for his father. "Pa!"

Ben dropped onto the other side of the bed and Joe grasped for him with both hands. As Ben gripped the sides of his face and leaned closer, he felt a wash of calm and his tangled thoughts began to settle.

"Pa."

"I'm right here, Joseph. I'm not going anywhere."

It would be hours later that Joe awoke from a deep sleep and found his father still seated where he had been. After agreeing to eat something, Ben had gone to retrieve a tray from the kitchen. As Joe settled against the pillows and forced himself to eat, he looked up at his father.

"Tell me what happened, Pa."

Ben pursed his lips and stayed silent for a moment, as if weighing something up. Finally he nodded and began to describe Hiram's plan and how it had played out.

"We needed to get Nate to incriminate himself. It was a gamble, but if it didn't work, we would have had to bring you in to testify."

"I could have, Pa!"

"I know that, Joe. It's just that you have not recovered yet and it's a long way into Virginia City in your present condition."

Joe reluctantly nodded as he considered how hard it was just to sit up for any length of time.

"Well, I got Nate to say he had tried to kill you, but before we could do anything with that … there was somewhat of a disruption."

Joe scanned his father's face, alarmed at the thought that Nate could have done anything at that point. "Disruption?"

Ben sighed as he considered how to fill in all the missing details. "Son, do you remember when you were seven that a rider came into the yard and nearly trampled you?"

"How could I forget? Hop Sing hauled me outta the way and was screaming in Chinese. I was so scared, I froze to the spot. I'da probably been dead if Hop Sing wasn't there. Why? What's that got to do with anything?"

"You probably don't remember the rider, but it was Nate's father. He was rotten drunk and he nearly killed you."

Ben continued to outline the pieces of the story as they had unfolded and Joe sat staring at him, in disbelief.

"I remember going to see the family and the neighbours told me they had left. I heard later they were in Carson City and I left it at that. I wish I'd done something more and maybe those children would have had a different life."

"You're not responsible for them, Pa! You kept him in a job longer'n anybody else would've."

Ben chewed at his lip as he looked at his son's face. Never, in his life could he imagine doing to his sons what Nathaniel Landry had inflicted on his wife and children. Grief was a strange beast and he'd teetered on the edge a couple of times, but it was his sons who had hauled him back. He loved them too much to let grief destroy him or them.

"It seems that Roy was beating himself up for not being here to get your warning when you wired him and he's been trying to find anything that could help. He and Harry have been doing some digging without telling me. They didn't want to hold out false hope, I guess."

"So what'd they find?"

"They found Nate's sister." Ben waited as his son absorbed that piece of information before continuing on.

"They didn't tell us in case she wouldn't come, but Harry turned up with her in time to deliver the final nail in the coffin. We talked with her for a while after the judge passed his sentence and she is an amazing young woman. It seems she ran away from her father and tried to convince Mac to leave too. He was too scared to go, but fear can be a powerful driver. She found work in a boarding house and over time, the widowed owner came to see her as a daughter. She eventually trusted her enough to tell her story and the woman got her brother to go and find out where Nate and Mac were. The information he came back with was horrific and they chose to protect her by keeping her identity secret and not giving her all the sordid details."

Joe looked white as he took in the information and Ben paused to check on him. "Are you alright, Joe?"

His son raised his eyes to his father and they were brimming with unshed tears. He licked his lip and tried to steady his breathing by blowing out a short breath. "Thank you."

Ben raised an eyebrow at the odd comment and waited to see if there was any more.

"Thank you for always being a man I can look up to and try to be like. I can't imagine living in fear of your own pa."

Ben reached forward to cup the back of his neck and choked down his own emotion. Nathaniel Landry had not always been a monster and he recalled riding herd with the man many years ago. He had sometimes spoken of his family with affection.

"Grief, loss of faith and alcohol are never a good mix. He didn't set out to be a bad father."

Joe watched his father's face and tried to understand what he was saying. Bad father didn't even begin to describe the man!

"And Nate didn't set out to be what he became. A tragic chain of events and some bad decisions compounded into a nightmare."

"What's going to happen to his sister?"

Ben thought back to the afternoon's surreal conversation in a hotel room. The girl had no family left except for a brother who would never see the light of day again. Her mother had died somewhere along the line and it could only be speculated as to the cause. Her father had died at the hands of his sons when Nate had grown enough to return to claim his siblings. Finding only Mac still there, Ben could see the scene that Harry had described from the Carson City sheriff's records. Revenge had been sickening in its detail. It was probably the first time that Nate had cut somebody's tongue out and Nathaniel had bled to death on the floor of his miserable home, unable to speak one more vile word.

"She's finally going to be free of her family legacy. She has somebody who cares for her and a safe place to live." He didn't mention the trust account that would be opened in her name that she would receive upon reaching her majority. It felt like such a small gesture in the face of everything, but it was something tangible. Her courage had saved his son from the stress of testifying and reliving his ordeal for all the world to see and for that, he was profoundly grateful.

"So it's over." Joe felt himself deflating as if the very air had been stolen out of his lungs.

"Yes, Joe, it's over." Ben watched as his son's hand slid down onto the blanket and he carefully removed the tray from his lap and placed it on the side table. He settled himself back on the chair and watched as Joe's breathing evened out and he was soon clearly asleep. He had seen his son injured before and had nursed him through various illnesses, but this time was different. This time Joe had believed his family hated him and the result was that he had struggled to recover. Weeks in bed had sapped his energy and even though Paul had promised a physical recovery with time, Ben wasn't entirely sure his son would fully recover in every way. The dark legacy of Nathaniel Landry had left scars on his son that he wasn't sure would ever fully heal.

Joe settled himself on the porch and leaned up against a post. The sun was dropping and the colours that splashed across the sky were breathtaking. He was lost in thought and didn't hear Adam's footsteps until his brother sat down beside him. No words passed between them, but it felt good to just sit together.

"Penny for your thoughts." Adam waited patiently as he wondered if Joe had even heard him.

"Adam, will you do me a favour?'

"Sure. Name it." It felt good to have his brother ask for something as he had been far too quiet and compliant in recent weeks.

"Ride with me to Silver Falls." As Joe turned towards him, Adam saw uncertainty on his brother's face. "Pa won't let me outta here alone and I need to go."

"You missing Harry that much?"

Joe dropped his head as he chuckled in response.

"Yeah, I miss Harry that much!"

Adam clamped a hand on his brother's neck and laughed at him. "Sure thing, little brother. I'll swing it with Pa."

Swinging it with Ben turned out to be a little harder than Adam had hoped, but eventually his father had given in. Adam read his father's concern and assured him that he would the first one to pull off the road and make camp for the day if Joe was not holding up in the saddle. Trusting his eldest son to do what he would do himself, he reluctantly watched as two of his sons rode away together for the first time in months.

Hoss stood beside his father and waved them off, knowing exactly what his little brother was chasing after and hoping he found what he wanted.

It would be a day and a half down the road that Joe suddenly pulled up short and Cochise pranced in a circle at the unexpected response from his rider.

"Joe?" Adam reined in his horse and pulled alongside his brother. He could not describe the look on his brother's face, but he felt alarmed at the sudden change in him. "Joe!"

Joe glanced down the road where they had come from and scratched at his head before replacing his hat. "I never could figure how I got from the Ponderosa to Silver Falls."

Adam just waited as it had been one of the mysteries that Joe's memory had never revealed. It was unimportant in the grand scheme of things and they had all let it slide.

"There was a lumber wagon. I was hiding in a gully, expecting Nate and Mac to come riding after me. I guess I musta climbed on the back of it and passed out."

Adam listened as Joe's breathing intensified and he readied himself to move in whatever way he needed to.

"I think I fell off the back. I remember waking up in the middle of the road and not knowing where I was. I think Stacey's ranch is just over that ridge."

"It is." Adam nodded as he remembered traveling the road in the wagon on the way back to Virginia City. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

Without responding, Joe kicked at Cochise's flanks and moved forward. Adam could see the tense set of his brother's shoulders and he moved up to walk alongside him. The next few miles passed in silence and Joe barely paused as he turned into the track that would take him back to Stacey's door. He had no idea what kind of welcome he would receive and his heart was pounding in his chest.

Adam remembered what Harry had told him about not startling Stacey unless he wanted a shotgun aimed his way and he was about to shout a greeting when he saw her. She was gathering firewood from beside the barn and she straightened up as they rode in. Adam waved at her as he dismounted and rushed over to help with the load of wood. As Joe was a little slower and stiffer in his dismount, the two of them were almost at the door before he was on his feet.

Stacey tried brushing stray wisps of hair back from her face and smoothed her dress as she smiled at him.

"You look so much better than the last time I saw you. Your pa wrote to me to say that you were getting stronger every day."

Joe was surprised his father had written any such letter, but then again, his pa did always seem to know the right etiquette for most things. He nodded in agreement and smiled back.

"Much better. Almost got rid of Doc Martin checkin' up on me!"

As Stacey led the way inside and made herself busy filling a pot with water and setting it to boil, she found herself struggling for something to say.

"What brings you both to Silver Falls?"

"A little unfinished business." Adam slid into the seat she had pointed out and twisted his hat in his hands. As Stacey glanced at him, he continued. "I'll be riding in to see Harry shortly."

Joe had almost fallen into the chair opposite and Stacey still had her back to him. She missed the look that Joe tossed his brother and Adam smirked at him. "Do you mind if I leave Joe here for a bit to rest up?"

"Of course not!" The answer was a little too forced and Adam held back a smile at her discomfort. As he quickly finished his coffee and placed his hat back on his head, he tipped the brim towards Stacey.

"Don't take any nonsense from him and I'll be back in a bit."

Stacey tried to read the expression on his face and gave up. "Why don't you bring Harry back with you for supper?"

"Will do."

Joe watched as his brother walked out the door and he swallowed down an odd sense of betrayal. All of the words he had rehearsed for weeks fled from his mind and he wished that Adam would stick around and talk for him. His brother always did have the words for every occasion. He was lost in thought as Stacey slid into the chair that Adam had vacated.

"You look well." It was good to see him without any bruising or marks on his face and even though he still moved a little stiffly, he was moving and not still stuck in bed. "Hop Sing's cooking agrees with you, I see."

She laughed at Joe's expression as he nodded. "He kept telling me you were too thin."

The small talk continued for a while as both of them danced around each other. Finally Joe decided enough was enough and he leaned across the table and wrapped his hand around Stacey's.

"Are you alright?" The blue scarf was gone and a couple of faint lines still scarred her neck, but unless somebody knew they were there, it would most likely not be noticed. Her fingers squeezed back and she smiled a watery smile. It took a while before she responded.

"I am now. I was afraid you were going to die on me. Twice!"

"I'm sorry … for involving you in this whole crazy mess."

"I'm not." It was a risk and she held her breath to see what he would do with her crumb of an offering.

Joe stared at the woman who had haunted his dreams for weeks. He lifted her hand to his lips and brushed a kiss across the back of it. When she didn't pull back or object in any way, he smiled at her.

"I've missed you."

Hours later when Adam and Harry rode into the yard, expecting a warm supper, neither of them was surprised to find nothing had been prepared. Instead, Joe and Stacey were deep in conversation and barely noticed they had arrived. The two older brothers wrapped a hand around each others shoulders and decided their job was done.

Well, for now.

A/N: Well thank you for taking the time to read this far. I've enjoyed your comments, opinions and feedback along the journey. They always help me shape a story as I write. This story took on a mind of its own (as my stories often do!) and Nate got a whole lot more messed up than I first intended. For those of you who want a "what's next" for Joe and Stacey, I'd prefer to leave that to your imaginations. Some of you wanted a romance and some of you didn't. I don't write romance well, beyond the basics, so am not going to massacre that one! Let the story go wherever you want it to go from here.