Christian POV

I am sitting in our bed watching Ana sleep. It is 3 in the morning on a rainy Seattle morning. Today we have an appointment with Doctor Greene to find out the gender of our baby. My thoughts drift to the child forming in Ana's belly. I can't help but wonder if he or she will have my hair and Ana's eyes. God, I really hope they do not get my temper, I couldn't imagine how that would go once they become a teenager.

I keep telling Ana I want a boy, I don't hide that fact. The truth is, I really don't care that much as long as the baby is healthy. I have been reading up on pregnancy and the birthing process and I am not going to lie, I am scared out of my mind. There are so many things that could happen to the baby. Right now, the safest place for the baby is inside Ana, but there are so many things that could go wrong too.

I read that the baby could turn and become "breech," which means if they didn't catch it and Ana pushed him out, the umbilical cord could wrap around its neck. I also read about the baby being fine all pregnancy and then suddenly, when it comes time to give birth, it could die in the process and then it is called a "stillbirth."

The scariest thing of all though, is what they call "Sudden Infant Death Syndrome" or SIDS. I did massive research on it… that was a terrible idea. I found it was the leading cause of death among infants and it most often happens at 2-4 months. I think the worst part of it is that there are usually no indicators, usually no warnings, it just happens.

Thinking about all the things that could happen to our little one fills me with anxiety. I know I originally acted stupid and immature when Ana told me, but after everything that has happened… Well, it kind of put things into perspective for me. If something had happened to the baby at the hands of Jack Hyde… I don't know what I would do. I have never become so protective, over anything in my life, like I am about the baby… well, except for Ana.

I look to make sure Ana didn't wake up while I was in deep thought. I notice she is still asleep so I take this opportunity to really open up to the baby. As i caress Ana's bump I start talking.

"Hey little Grey, it's me, daddy. I love you so much little Grey and so does mommy. Gosh your mommy is an amazing human being, you are so very lucky that you will have her for a mom. She is smart, beautiful, challenging, stubborn, and patient. I could go on all day about her and the best part is, she has the biggest heart in the world. She loves so much, it still amazes me. I know daddy reacted badly when mommy told me about you… I am so sorry. I will never stop apologizing to your mommy for that. I really messed up but again, because your mommy is so full of love, she forgave me. I cannot believe how big you have grown! I think you will weigh half of what your mommy weighs by the time you're born, but don't tell mommy that."

"So, I want to tell you a few things and I will keep telling you them even when you're born. First thing to tell you, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I love your mommy too, I can't even begin to explain how much I love mommy, but my love for you… it's just so different. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like a whole different context of love. Who knew there were so many types of love… I never thought it was possible to love until I met your mommy, she opened up feelings that I didn't even know existed. I will try and be as reasonable as possible, the good news is, your mom is very reasonable, so she will help me. If you are a girl, I promise to have tea parties with you and your stuffed animals. I promise to play dress-up with you even if I look ridiculous. I promise to be at every dance recital, gymnastics meet, volleyball or softball game. I will be there to support you no matter what you do. I promise to be there for you whenever you need me. I will protect you as much as I can. I will promise you the world and to get you whatever you'd like. I do expect you to go to school though and work hard. I don't want you to expect everything to be handed to you. I promise to try and be on my best behavior when you bring a guy home for us to meet, although, if I don't like him I will tell you. God, you're not even born yet… hell I don't even know your gender yet, but the thought of my little girl bringing someone home for us to meet… that both irritates and saddens me. I get irritated because i know how men think. It saddens me because that will indicate that my little girl will be all grown up.

"If you are a boy, I pray to God that you get your mother's temper. I don't know if she would be able to handle two of us! I promise you I will be as reasonable as possible. I promise to play with trucks with you and play a silly game of cowboys and Indians. I will be at every tee-ball game, baseball game, soccer, football, or whatever sport or event you get involved in. I will support you no matter what. I promise to calm your mommy down the first time you bring a girl home but, if we don't like the girl, we will tell you. I promise to provide everything you need and everything you want. Like I said, I do expect you to work hard and go to school. I will protect you as much as possible.

"It doesn't matter what your gender is, just know that your mommy and I… Well, we love you so much. You will change our lives in so many ways. I cannot wait to meet you. Last thing to say, I know this is your home for the next 6 months, but I may invade a few times… I'm sorry in advance!"

I let out a laugh as I say the last part and I hear a laugh from my left ear. When I look up, I see Ana with tears rolling down her face and a huge smile. I must have gotten so caught up in talking to baby Grey, I didn't even realize she was awake.

"Good morning, Ana. What's wrong?" i ask, a little concerned because of the tears.

"Christian, I am sorry, I know that was a private conversation between you and Blip, but I overheard it. I didn't want to interrupt your moment so I acted like I was still asleep. Christian that was so beautiful. I love you so much." Ana replied. I take a moment to think and I know now would be the best time to open up to Ana.

"Being sentimental is not my thing, you know that but I am about to be totally honest about how I'm feeling. Ana, I know my reaction to the news was awful and I acted horribly. I will never be able to make that up to you. I will however try to prove everyday how sorry I am though.

"I am so afraid that I will fail as a father or that the baby is going to hate me. I know you say that babies are programed to love, but what if I am such a bad father that they start to hate me. I know with you by my side, I won't be the WORST father ever. Even though I know this, the doubt will always be there.

"With all that said, I know for certain that I love this baby more than life itself. I am so excited to have our little family and eventually expand it. I am so thankful to you every day for putting up with me. I am in awe of you for carrying our child and sacrificing so much for the baby already. It's proof that you are going to be a phenomenal mom. I love you so much Anastasia." I kiss her and she kisses me back. I am so hopeful for the future.