AN: I bet y'all didn't expect this notification email, huh? part of me also expected never to continue this, but some stuff's been happening that eventually managed to kick the butt of even my own perfectionist nature. guess all I needed was a real sense of there being a need for this for me to get my ass into gear, or something. go figure.

so, anyway. thanks for all your wonderful comments on the last chapter, and thank you for your patience with me. trust me, I know it's been a year, and I'm sorry; it's been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster with this one, and I guess, at the time of writing this fic last year, this was almost a way for me to come to terms with a lot of things myself. I got a few comments about how the conversation between them felt raw, and that's probably because it *felt* very raw when I was writing it.

anyway, on to the actual reason we're all here: as with most fics like this, this isn't a universal representation of the kind of relationship all asexual people want, but it is the one I had in mind for Emma and Regina.

as for continuing after this… god knows I can't promise a third chapter, and if I do write one, I'm not gonna lie to you: knowing me, it'll probably be another year before it's up lol

no beta for this, so please overlook any typos

As sunlight started filtering in from the windows, the women on the couch started to stir sleepily.

Blinking around in confusion, Regina took a few seconds to situate herself. She was on her couch in her living room, and Emma Swan was wrapped around her like a koala bear, one arm wrapped around her waist, and a leg flung over both of hers, as if the blonde had been afraid if she let go, Regina would disappear. Smiling softly, the brunette ran her hands through the golden strands, watching as Emma's own head lifted slowly, and she blinked the sleep out of her eyes in turn.

"Hi," the blonde mumbled shyly, a smile playing on the edge of her lips.

"Good morning," Regina chuckled softly, fingers still playing gently in Emma's hair.

With a smile still firmly on her lips, Emma checked her phone on the coffee table to see how much damage control she'd have to do with her mother before work, when her eyes widened.

"Shit, I have to go, I'm late for work!" she sprang up from the couch too fast, disentangling herself from Regina's limbs in a hurry. "There will be all sorts of hell to pay if I don't show up on time, David has been super grumpy about taking the night shifts because he doesn't get much sleep during the day, looking after Neal," she said in a rush, and nearly fell over in her haste to get her boots back on and find her coat.

At the doorway, she paused and looked back to where Regina was watching her from her snuggled up position on the couch, amusement glinting in her eyes. Taking a deep breath, Emma strode back into the living room purposefully, leaned down and kissed Regina squarely on the lips, chaste and quick, but purposeful. "I'll see you later, okay?" she asked, soft and unsure.

Numbly, the brunette nodded and watched as the blonde smiled and rushed out of the house. When she heard the front door close behind Emma, she allowed the frown she'd been holding back to appear, as she gently touched her lips.

"I guess I have some research to do," she muttered to herself, before finally stretching and getting up; after getting herself a cup of coffee, she found herself making her way into her office and powering up her computer.

Emma had had a busy morning. As predicted, David hadn't been too thrilled to see her hurtle in half an hour late, though luckily he'd been too busy leaving to try an get any morsel of sleep he could to ask where she'd been.

Then Leroy had called to complain about the Lost Boys stealing the dwarves' pickaxes, so she'd ended up chasing the band of unruly teens through the forest for the better part of the morning; only to come back to a call from Archie that Pongo had escaped again.

All in all, the blonde was glad when it was finally time to leave. Unsure of whether she'd be welcome for dinner at the mansion, and knowing Snow wouldn't let her leave too soon if she went to the loft, the blonde headed to Granny's.

She hadn't had much time to think about the events of the night before, and as she made her way to the diner on foot, she realised it was probably a good thing; now that she wasn't preoccupied with work, her mind was reeling off questions at her, the main one revolving around whether Regina would change her mind.

Emma wasn't stupid. She knew how these things always went for her: someone would say something, tell her she was enough, and then a little time later, they'd change their mind and decide she wasn't worth the effort.

It didn't help that none of her romantic relationships had lasted long enough, because she always panicked when things started getting physical and ran — excluding her time with Neal, when all she'd wanted was someone to stay by her, and she'd done what she thought he'd wanted, what would make him stay. In the end, even that hadn't been enough.

And sure, she'd done her research, she knew there was a whole spectrum of asexuality, knew some people like her didn't mind different things, but she'd never had the chance to find out what she did or didn't like; other than the fact that she didn't mind kissing, she'd never been given the opportunity to explore that side of her in a way that she felt safe, and now she was scared that all her uncertainty would only chase Regina further away.

Sighing, she pulled the door to Granny's open and walked up to the bar.

"Grilled cheese and a chocolate milkshake to go, please Rubes."

"Sure thing," the brunette grinned, relaying the order, before turning back to the blonde. "You okay, Emma?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

Ruby eyed her friend carefully, before indicating a corner of the diner with her head. Emma turned to look, and spotted Hook, looking cozy in the back booth with Tink.

"I figured, you know, because he's not trying to hide it, that you two broke up?"

"Yeah, we did," Emma admitted, turning back to look at Ruby. "Last night."

"He moved on fast," the brunette remarked, eyebrows high.

"Yeah, well…" the blonde shrugged. She chose not to mention that he'd probably find he was more compatible with Tink, who was clearly enjoying his roaming hands far more than Emma ever had, than with Emma.

"You don't mind? Because I can always get Granny to kick them out. They shouldn't be flaunting it in your face so soon after the breakup."

"I don't mind, Rubes," Emma smiled in thanks as the waitress handed her her order. "It's for the best."

"If you say so," Ruby grumbled, shooting a last look at the couple, before turning to serve the other customers.

Emma also spared one last glance at the corner, before leaving, dinner in hand. She made it all the way to the Bug before a traitorous tear escaped.

She wiped it away angrily, and directed her car to Mifflin Street.

"Mom, why is Ma parked outside the house? Are we working on Operation Mongoose tonight?" Henry asked as he came into the kitchen.

"She's outside?"

"Yeah, she's been sitting in her car for, like, ten minutes."

Regina smiled softly, but sighed. "Henry, would you keep an eye on the sauce? It appears I have a Sheriff to invite to dinner."

Her son nodded, so Regina made her way outside until she was standing next to the yellow monstrosity of a car. Bending down, she met Emma's guilty eyes.

"Were you planning on lurking outside all evening, or are you actually going to come in and join us for dinner, Sheriff Swan?"

"I wasn't sure you'd want me around."

Frowning, Regina pulled upon the passenger side door and climbed into the car so she could look into the blonde's eyes better. "And why would you think that?"

Emma shrugged, not meeting her eyes. "I wasn't sure if you'd changed your mind."

"You thought I'd changed my mind," Regina repeated flatly.

Emma nodded nervously. "About me."

"You know," Regina started after several seconds of silence, with just the distant sound of the waves breaking in the distance between them. "I find it a little bit insulting that you'd assume my love to be so fickle."

The blonde shot her a look. "That's not what I meant," she finally muttered. "It's just… I know it must be difficult, being with someone…"

"Someone who, what? Loves me too? Cares about my happiness? Stands up for me? Loves my son?" Regina shook her head softly. "I meant what I said, Emma. There is nothing hard about loving you. It's as easy as breathing."

"I'm sorry," the blonde finally whispered, her voice almost carried away on the sound of the waves. "I guess… it might take me some time to get used to the idea that this is actually happening. I keep… I keep thinking I might wake up at any point and find out it's all just been a dream."

Regina's hand found Emma's on the seat, and their fingers intertwined. "It's not a dream, Emma. You deserve happiness just as much as anyone else."

"I know. Logically, I know that. It's just hard to believe it's possible, when all my life, everything made me believe that happiness, romantic happiness in the way that I crave, isn't possible."

"Emma, I need you to listen to me. Happy endings don't all look the same; if they did, the stories would be very boring." The blonde chuckled at that, and Regina gave the other woman's hand a gentle squeeze before continuing. "And we'll figure this out, okay? Together. I know we'll need to talk more about this, and I want you to feel comfortable telling me anything. But first, how about we go inside and have some dinner with our son?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good," Emma smiled.

"Good. Now come on, I have to make sure Henry hasn't burned anything. He's too much your son in the kitchen."

Emma laughed as she followed the brunette out of the car. "We can't all be perfect, Regina."

Henry had seemed to accept Emma's excuse that she'd just wanted some space from her parents after her breakup with Hook, and hadn't asked any more questions about his other mother's presence at dinner.

And after dinner, when he went back to his homework, well. He didn't question why his Ma followed his Mom into the living room. He figured she probably wanted a drink. Emma's presence at 108 Mifflin Street had become a somewhat regular occurrence over the course of Operation Mongoose, and Henry no longer worried that his two moms would end up fighting each other if left alone.

As she closed the door behind herself, Regina took a deep breath. She wasn't sure what would come out of this conversation, but after her morning of very little work and a whole lot of reading up on asexuality, she knew they needed to have this talk before their relationship could go any further.

"I'm sorry," Emma blurted out, plopping on to the same couch she'd been on the previous night.

"For what, dear?"

"For questioning you. It's just hard to believe sometimes."

Regina hummed in response, and fixed them each a glass of cider. "You looked upset in the car earlier."

The blonde nodded and smiled her thanks as she was passed the cider. "Yeah. I saw Hook all over Tink at Granny's."

Regina paused, glass raised halfway to her mouth. "And you were jealous?" she asked, feeling her own jealousy stir, along with hurt that Emma hadn't meant her words the previous night.

But the blonde shook her head, hands grasped tightly around her glass. "No." She paused and tilted her head slightly, considering her words. "Well, not in the way that you mean," she finally admitted. "I wasn't jealous of her for being with him, I was just… it's so easy for him. For them," she gestured vaguely towards the rest of the town with one hand. "There's no pressure, no fear that they'll never be able to make someone else truly happy. It's just simple. The laws of attraction and all that."

"Emma," the brunette sighed. She swallowed nervously, cursing her uncharacteristic nerves. She wanted this to go well; she needed it to go well. "Everyone worries about their partner's happiness in a healthy relationship. Of course we do, we want them to be happy."

"Yeah." Emma shot her a rueful smile. "I just got an extra thing to worry about, I guess."

Regina shook her head vehemently. "We just need to trust each other, Emma." The blonde's eyes searched hers, as if looking for confirmation that that was, in fact, the only requirement. "I've been doing some reading today," Regina admitted.

"Reading?"

The mayor nodded. "I have to admit that when you told me you were asexual last night, I wasn't entirely sure what that meant. I got the general idea, but then this morning you kissed me, and…" she shrugged.

Emma was looking at her, amused. "So you googled it." Regina nodded again. "You know you could have just asked me, right?"

"I didn't want to be rude," the brunette defended and Emma laughed.

"I'm sure that's true, but I'm also sure you just didn't like not knowing." Emma's eyes sparkled at her.

"Yes, well," Regina admitted. "I wanted to understand you better."

Emma's eyes softened. "I'm sorry. I know last night was a bit of an emotional dump on you, and I didn't even think about you being confused this morning."

"Don't apologise," Regina told her gently. "But…" she hesitated, eyes drifting towards her glass.

"Hey," Emma slid over on the couch so she was sitting right next to the brunette, and lifted a hand gently to her chin, waiting until Regina lifted it. When she did, the blonde smiled softly at her. "Remember how you said we need to trust each other? You can ask me whatever it is, I swear I won't get offended."

Regina's eyes searched Emma's and she nodded. "I was just wondering about Neal."

"Ah," Emma said, nodding. "I wondered when he'd come up." When Regina looked at her again, the blonde smiled reassuringly. "It wasn't anything as dark as you're probably imagining, Regina. He didn't force me or anything, I was just… I was young and desperate, so I did what I thought would make him stick around. And it worked, for a while. Until it didn't." She shrugged.

"But… you…"

"As I'm sure you found out on your reading spree," Emma said, her eyes laughing again. "Asexuality is a spectrum. I'm not sex-repulsed, I just have no interest in doing it myself."

Regina was silent while she tried to find the courage to ask her next question. Taking a large gulp of her cider, she opened her mouth before she could change her mind. "What about masturbating?"

Emma blinked at her. "What about it? Do I do it?"

"No, I—"

"Because, I mean, sometimes."

Regina's mouth snapped shut. She opened it again, then closed it, confused. Finally, "what?"

"Yeah. Not a lot, but sometimes," the blonde shrugged. "Usually if I've been reading something steamy."

"But…"

"It's not attraction to any one person. I'm not sure how it works, to be honest, Regina, but my body is fully functional."

"And do you picture someone?"

"No. I tried that once, and it just felt wrong."

Regina nodded, absorbing this information.

"But that's not what you meant, was it?"

"No."

Emma tilted her head. "So what did you mean?"

Regina drained her cider before answering. "I had meant to ask, how would you feel about me masturbating?"

The blonde's brow furrowed. "Uh, Regina, it's your body, I don't—"

Regina closed her eyes, lifting one hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. "I meant near you, Emma."

"Oh."

The mayor opened her eyes, and saw Emma studying her. "I am merely trying to understand the boundaries, Emma. You've shown you're okay with kissing, but I don't want to do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable."

The blonde sighed. "I don't know." Regina frowned at the quiet admission, and Emma's mouth twisted up in a rueful smile. "I've never had the chance to find out," she admitted.

Regina nodded, wishing she had more cider in her glass.

"But I'm open to trying, Regina. I just need you to also be open to the possibility that it might not work."

"You don't owe me anything, Emma, and certainly not you body. I truly was only trying to understand what you're comfortable with."

"Then maybe we can find out together," Emma suggested, smiling sweetly.

"Indeed." Regina glanced at the clock, before turning her attention back to Emma. "Will you be staying tonight?"

"Would that be okay?"

"Emma. Of course it would."

And that was how the two women found themselves leaving the room. Regina turned the light off, and watched as Emma made her way to the front door on silent feet, and flipped the lock before returning to the steps. The brunette felt her heart warm as she watched Emma calmly go through her nightly routine with her, the two somehow in sync even though they'd never done this together before. Her feelings must have been obvious on her face, as Emma looked at her questioningly, so Regina placed a soft hand on the woman's jaw and, slowly, giving Emma plenty of time to escape, closed the distance to seal her lips on the blonde's in a soft kiss.

As they broke away from each other, Emma gave her a soft smile, and took Regina's hand gently in her own as they ascended the stairs together.

And as Emma climbed into bed after Regina, the brunette felt an arm snake around her waist again, and soon enough, a leg was thrown over hers. She smiled as her fingers found her new favourite spot in Emma's hair, feeling the solid, comforting presence of the other woman beside her. She fell asleep to the soft sound of Emma's breathing on her neck.