Disclaimer: Love Live belongs to whoever it belongs to. I do not own Love Live.

When watchi- er, reading, please do not sit too close to the screen. In case of bad eyesight, we recommend increasing the font size by clicking the "A +" button right above this story section, below the summary section. If the plain white background is too bright, we suggest clicking the contrast button that looks like a half-white-half-black non-racist ball, which will make the background black instead, so that it won't be too bright and eye-damaging.

"Hey, what's with this beginning statement? Isn't this kinda lame? Helping advertising the features of the site like that..."

"W-well, it's not like everyone knows about it... some people might have never used them before."

"It's been there for ages! Why wouldn't anyone curiously wonder about it and click it and suddenly be delighted!?"

"...please just shut up."

Although "normal" would be the word she often used to describe her life, for once, this really wasn't something she would even consider for a moment to be "sane" at all. In fact, now that she thought about it, when did this fantasy world become legitimately available to be called "normal" at all anyways? I mean, seriously? A dragon that can breathe fire, or other dragons that can each breathe different elemental attacks? That's the shit you find in dreams, man, like seriously delusional dreams! Speaking of shit, it would be really great right now if some kind passing-by stranger would save her from this shitty predicament she was in. How shitty was this situation? Well, thinking carefully, she had to admit that having several outlawed adventures after her head wasn't exactly a good thing. And them currently surrounding her right now, with all sorts of weapons charged and prepared to kill her, was definitely "shitty" in her opinion.

Ah, ah, why couldn't a handsome knight in shining armor appear on some amazing white horse right now? Well, not that it can't be a black horse. But typically, one would expect an amazing knight riding a normal brown horse or some super-clean white horse, and always associate black horses with some sort of villain or phantom. How unfair was that? I mean, wasn't that a shitty stereotype? Horse stereotyping. Great! She mentally proposed the kingdom started a campaign against horse stereotyping.

Speaking of campaign, why weren't they doing anything about these outlawed adventurers anyways? Outlawing them and putting them on wanted posters was smart, she guessed, but yo what the heck? The knights weren't even chasing after outlawed adventures roaming around the town freely. It was like they outlawed them so that other adventurers can do all the work instead! Man, what shitty knights this kingdom has!

Ah, speaking of shitty, why isn't she dead yet? Oh, right. Typical slow-motion scenes. These things tend to happen right as a character's about to die. She mentally laughed. She was about to die, wasn't she?

"What's this? A horny bunch of dogs who thinks with their damn short dicks?" a voice spoke up. Before she could even move her head to look at her savior- or actually, before she could even hear the second word of that ridiculously insane comparison, a figure landed right in front of her, emitting some sort of wave that sent the surrounding criminals off their feet.

Well, technically, to be accurate, they were in the midst of jumping anyways, so rather than 'off their feet', they were sent off their... floating feet? Well, she didn't really know how to actually describe this scene that had just unrolled in front of her eyes. Wait... was that a string?

The mysterious person who had appeared to save her, a girl, grinned and made her teeth visible to all. "Well, guess again, you frog-lickers!" She landed on her feet and looked at the supposed leader of the assault group, preparing her weapon- whatever it was- again. "Not gonna happen anytime soon!"

With a swing, the strings surrounding the air moved and the saved victim saw something else move- some sort of round, hard-looking object that was spinning rapidly. "I-is that a yo-yo!?"

The plastic toy smacked the perpetrator right in the kisser, sending him sprawling to the ground on his back on top of other perpetrators. "Ow! W-who are y-"

"Who am I?" the savior asked as her yo-yo returned to her. "That doesn't matter, does it? The real problem here is what you and your horny buddies were planning to do to this old lady."

"O-old!?" the saved girl shrieked. "I-I'll have you know I'm not old! I just became seventeen!" she exclaimed, clearly more enraged than thankful.

"Quit your yapping, granny!" the attacker retorted, shutting her up. "Anyways, what's with all this ganging up on her anyways?" she asked the boss, who was by now shivering as a small amount of blood trickled down his forehead. "Why would you people even want to rape this old lady?"

"Hey!"

The boss shook his head. "Y-you're wrong! W-we, we weren't going to do anything perverted to h-her!" he defended. "S-she, she just witnessed something that s-shouldn't be seen by the public! W-we were simply ordered to get rid of her, I swear, n-nothing disgusting!"

Grinning, the yo-yo wielder bent down and leaned close to the frightened man. "Huh, really?" she asked. He quickly nodded. "Well, too bad!" she screamed, and punched the sitting boss in the jaw across the sky, sending him further away.

"E-eehhhh!?" the seventeen-years old victim yelled in surprise. "B-but wasn't he telling the truth!?" she asked. "I mean, he seems too frightened to lie!"

"Nonsense!" The not-so-friendly rescuer turned to her rescued victim. "According to the evidence I've discovered, I, Saeki Reine, conclude that these scums really are horny bastards wanting to play with your body!" Before the seventeen-years old could say anything, she grinned. "As for the evidence..." she trailed off, leaving an air of suspense in the air. "...I made that up! I got nothing."

The girl tumbled on the ground in anime-style, then got up with boiling anger. "Then what the hell was all the suspense for!?"

"Well, they were probably going to play around with you anytime soon after whatever they wanted to do anyways, right?" Reine shrugged with a nonchalant smile. "I mean, necrophilia is rather quite popular these days, with some people even getting turned on by stuff like that!"

"This has nothing to do with the public necrophilia fanbase in the world!" the girl retorted. "Why are you even mentioning the readers anyways!? We just started this story and you're going to break the fourth wall already!? Didn't you consider the author's feelings at all!? He must be enraged!"

"Well, no, but you're actually doing more damage than me now."

"I- son of a shit!" the girl stomped on the ground, becoming more frustrated. "Forget that! Asides that, why would you even accuse these goons of rape!?" she asked. "These thugs consist of both guys and girls!" She pointed at one groaning female adventurer, who tried to get up but couldn't. "Girls! Also! There!"

Sheepishly scratching her head, Reine looked into the sky. "Well, uh, I guess I ruined some perfect lesbian scenes as well."

"God damn it!" the rescued girl screamed with more frustration. "Rape isn't some damn joke! What kind of hero are you anyways!?"

"Uh, I technically never said I was a her-"

"I won't accept this!" The girl jumped back and landed in a battle pose. She grabbed her shining silver lance and pointed it at her savior. "I, Emma, am really grateful for your attempt to save my life. However, your attitude disgusts me! I shall hereby hand you in along with these thugs to the authorities!" the girl exclaimed with a confident air surrounding her. "I don't know who you are, but Miss Saeki, prepare to be def-"

Suddenly, Emma felt metal placed against the back of her head. "Prepare to die!" the voice of one thug, who managed to get up despite the injuries from a damn yo-yo, echoed behind her ears. Her eyes widened as she realized she was going to die from a gun. Speaking of guns, she wondered what element was the gun being used to shoot her brain. Was it a none-elemental? Or maybe it was a fire-elemental one! That would be cool.

Again, however, she was saved when the last remaining thug was kicked in the face by Reine, who she swore was just in front of her just a second ago. H-how did she-!? The brown-haired girl fell on her knees in shock as the thug was sent crashing into the wall, dropping the gun. She shivered, slowly looking at the thug- completely knocked out- then at her once-again savior- looking down with a serious expression.

Her mouth opened, but nothing came out. "..." What was she going to say? Emma herself didn't know. What could she say to the girl who had saved her, yet she tried to subdue? No, furthermore, what could she say to this insanely powerful girl anyways? Just... just... "...w-who are you?" she asked.

Grinning, Reine tucked her yo-yo into her green suit pocket. She didn't let the breeze rubbing against her thighs bother her at all, but instead just let her incredibly short, black skirt rustle. Keeping her right hand in same yo-yo-stuffed pocket of her green suit, she reached her left hand to the zip of the inner yellow jacket she wore under the suit and pulled it down, revealing a white shirt and a red ribbon. "Me?" she asked for clarification, despite how obvious it already was.

Scratching her hair, she brought Emma's attention to the twin buns in Reine's hairstyle. There were some sort of... hairpins keeping the buns intact, specifically golden hairpins that resembled a soccer ball. Asides from that, each bun had a small ponytail, gently rustling from the wind.

Laughing, she pointed to herself. "I'm Saeki Reine, a completely normal passing-by average adventurer looking for love!" she introduced.

A moment of silence passed by, leaving the girl to stand still with her pointing at herself with a proud advertising grin, while the other girl just stared up at her... weird savior.

"...okay..." Emma finally replied with a distant gaze.

"Hey, wait!" Reine exclaimed and pointed at her, blushing. "Y-you totally just thought I was a weirdo, didn't you!?"

The brunette continued staring, then looked somewhere else, her iris slowly moving away. "Well... ye- uh, no."

"You were going to say 'yes', weren't you!?" her ravenette savior retorted. "What kind of opinion is that towards the girl who saved your life!?"

"...well... tehehe?"

"Don't 'tehehe' me! This is clearly a crime!" Reine screamed.

"W-wait, wait, I get it, so..." Emma coughed to herself, blushing a bit. "...t-thank you for saving me, um, Miss Saeki. I appreciate it..." she said. "...no matter how weird you are."

"She just added something really rude at the end!" the ravenette yelled. "Oi! I don't care who you are, you better pay up for my help!"

"Huh?" the brunette groaned as she got up, no longer amazed or afraid. "Y-you're going to charge me!?"

"Well, duh! My services aren't free." Reine grinned. "By the way, that'll be around 1,000 yen please."

Emma frowned. "I thought you were just a travelling adventurer, not a freelancer..." Sighing to herself, she took out her wallet and zipped it open. "Well, I guess I can't help it. I do owe you now, after all..." she murmured, before pulling out ten coins. "Here, ten 100 yen coins. I hope you're satisfied." Putting her wallet away, she frowned at the yo-yo wielder. "My name is Emma, by the way, not 'you'."

"Emma, Menma, who cares?" Reine shrugged it off as she put the coins in her pocket, the one without her yo-yo. "I'm not trying to help some ghost girl rest in piece."

"You're trying to piss off Ano**na fans, aren't you...?" the brunette scowled.

"Absolutely not."

Sighing again, just as Reine began walking away, the girl decided to follow her. "So?" she began. "What are you planning to buy with my 1,000 yen, oh great hero?" she asked. "Are you going to spend it all at the bar? Or food, or to flirt with men?" Her savior did not respond, but just continued walking. "Or maybe you're going to find something cool to buy and make you look popular? Hmm, perhaps you're going to give the money to some secret hidden person who is ill and trying to survive. A touching backstory, it would be." Emma sighed. "Hey, stop ignoring me, Miss Saeki. Heroes should behave more properly, you know? The kingdom would be disappointed in you..." Her savior stopped walking. "...Miss Saeki?" she said.

Sighing, Reine didn't look back. "Menma."

"My name's Emma!" the brunette screamed. "How hard is it to remember that!? It's Emma, not Menma!" She raised her hands angrily. "Em-ma! Not Men-ma!"

"Don't..." Reine muttered, silencing the raging girl with confusion. "...ever lump me with those brainless shrimps."

She frowned. "What-"

Glaring at the victim she rescued herself, Reine showed no traces of emotions. "Heroes? Don't make me laugh. This town definitely can't protect anyone for shit."

"M-Miss Saeki...?" Emma didn't say anything else. She stared in shock at her savior, who, for a brief moment, looked as thought she could kill someone any moment.

"So please, don't lump me with those useless things." Yawning, she continued walking, leaving behind a still-shocked brunette before she shook her head and chased after the girl.

"W-wait up, Miss Saeki!" the girl exclaimed, following her. "W-what did you mean by that just now? Do you hate heroes or something?" Scratching her head, the brunette walked alongside her savior. "And isn't this bad? Only a few minutes into the story and you already stirred up some kind of tension and hints of dark backstory. And you dismissed it within, I don't know, less than ten seconds!" She flailed her arms, worried. "Isn't that just the typical cliched 'main character with dark backstory' plot being shamelessly hinted around!?"

"Quit your yapping, Menma." Reine yawned and made a turn, then entered a shop, ignoring the girl who followed inside after her. "You were just hearing things."

"Uh, no, I definitely wasn't 'just hearing things'!" the girl yelled. "And my name is Emma, for Christ's sake!"

"Emma, Menma, who cares?" Reine shrugged it off as she examined the sword in the store. "I'm not trying to help some ghost girl rest in piece."

Emma sighed. "You're trying to piss off Ano**na fans, aren't yo- wait, we already did this stupid gag!"she screamed and smacked her savior's head. "What is wrong with you!?" Panting, the girl glared at the lady in front of her, starting to wish someone else had saved her. "We're 2444 words into the story! Why are you reusing a quote from a few minutes ago to increase the word count!? An average fanfiction's number of words are usually around 1000 words or a bit more, there was no need to increase it by reusing some crap!"

"Oi, now," Reine wiggled her finger, "don't go around breaking the fourth wall. The shitty author will bawl his eyes out, you know?" she said. "Oh, this looks like a nice sword."

"Listen to me!" the brunette exclaimed. "And wait, you just called him a shitty author, didn't you?" she asked to make sure. "You did, right? Hey, hey!"

"Sir, I'll be taking this sword that looks like a samurai sword and might actually be one." The man looked at Reine and nodded. "1000 yen, right?"

"That's right."

"You're not listening!" Emma screamed. The two walked out the store, with the brunette still shouting about things the other girl did that pissed her off. "What's wrong with you anyways!? You must not be as popular as I thought, seriously! This kind of attitude must make everyone want to kick the hell out of you!"

Reine smiled. "Wow, this sword looks good."

Emma growled. "You're not listening, are you!? Oi, Miss Saeki! Seriously! Listen to me!" she shouted. "I'm warning you! Who knows what-" Before she could finish, her mouth were suddenly blocked. Her vision was covered by the other girl's face, a soft sensation pressed against her lips. "M-mn!?" Her cheeks suddenly became burning hot as she felt her legs weakening. I-is she-!? After a few seconds, when Emma was completely frozen in shock, Reine broke the kiss. "Wh... what... awawa... w-what was..."

"Hihi. You were being too loud," the ravenette replied and walked away, waving her new sword. "So I silenced you."

"B-b-but... but that..." the brunette murmured, unable to stop blushing. "That was... m-my... my... my first k-ki... kiss..."

Reine shrugged. "Not my problem."

Gritting her teeth, Emma ran towards the girl. "Y-you... you jerk!" she screamed, punching the girl's back.

"W-waaarghh! T-that hurts!" Reine shrieked. Landing on the ground, she was about to clutch her back in pain, but paled when she heard more of the brunette's footsteps. "A-ah, wait, Menma, d-don't!"

"My name's Emma!" A loud thwacking noise resounded throughout the town.

"...doesn't this kinda look bad?"

"Huuuh? What are you talking about?"

"I mean... well, this is a Love Live fanfiction, right? For some reason, an actual Love Live character hasn't shown up yet! Won't the readers be bored or think this was posted in the wrong category?"

"Menma, Menma, Menma... don't be stupid."

"My name's Emma!"

"Let's be real here. Surely, at least most of the readers must have played Love Live, School idol festival. Am I right?"

"But it's not like they remember the name of every N card, right!?"

"That's not the point! The point is that we're still Love Live characters!"

"But Miss Saeki, I'm pretty sure everyone prefers to see Ayase Eri or Toujou Nozomi rather than some unpopular nobodies!"

"Well they can screw off and die then!"

"O-oi! That's not something you should say to the readers!"

"Who cares!?"

"Everyone does!"

"Ow!"