Authors Note: First of I am so very sorry this is not an update for my other stories. I am truly humbled that after all these years I still get emails, and PMs asking me whats up in the world of Brucas, Naley and of course my beloved Glamma. I have no shame in admitting that I have suffered the worst case of writers block that has lasted years. Till last night. For some unknown reason this story popped into my head. It would not leave me alone. Before I knew it, I stayed up all night writing, plotting, and it took a life of its own. What was suppose to be a one shot became a 20 chapter story. After much debate and little pushes I decided to post it. I kept my tradition of naming the story after a song. All too well by Taylor Swift seem to fit the current state of mind of my favorite character Samantha Morgan.

I truly feel terrible not finishing A woman's worth. It is my baby, the ending has been written and it is my novel. Maybe this story is the push I need to start writing it again. All I know is this story is something very different and it really would not get out of my brain. I hope you enjoy it. It is very different but I am so thankful I decided to go with it. It is not for any lovers of Liz. It is a Jasam story from General Hospital. It is mature and it has a side of Carly. I hope you love it as much as I do. It truly has been so much fun writing this. A big thank you to my editor Tiffany who gets me. To Jenn, D, Laura, and Mel who pushed me to write it. And to the Jason in my life, who I think was as shocked as I was when I wrote like a mad woman. It has really been too long. So enjoy! PM and review. And remember I warned you all not for the Liz lovers and it is mature! Thank you Kaos aka Soccer mom

ALL TOO WELL

CHAPTER ONE

It had been a long and draining day. Samantha Morgan wasn't sure how she had managed to keep up the facade of indifference, as her heart took yet another beating. Patrick was married to another woman. His ex-wife, Robin. His "true love," he told her. They were throwing caution into the wind and in front of the most important people in their lives reaffirming their love for one another in a small ceremony where they had become yet again, man and wife.

And they were leaving town, taking along Emma, the little girl she had fallen head over heels in love with, the little girl that had become, in all sense, her daughter. Losing Emma hurt Sam badly. In a small way, the relationship she had with Emma had been one she would have had with her own daughter, Lila, if she had lived. Sam was happy for Emma. That little girl deserved to have her parents to be together, but it still hurt Sam. She was human after all. The night she and Patrick told Emma they weren't getting married was one of the worst nights of her life. The image of the little girl's tears was not one that she could easily erase. The only silver lining in the whole messed up situation was that Emma was now happy. Her parents had reunited, and her mother had come back to her life. She had the family she always wanted.

But for Sam, there was no silver lining. She had suffered yet another loss in her life and it was devastating. She thought of the mani-pedi date she and Emma had every Friday after school, the books she read to her, having tea parties, buying her cute little dresses, braiding her hair in the morning, and driving her to school as they sang along to Taylor Swift. These were among just few of all the things she had always imagined doing with her own daughter. It was so wonderful and she knew she would always cherish the time she had with Emma. Not only with her but with Patrick and Danny too. For almost a year she had been a part of something fantastic. She and Patrick loved each other, each other's children, and the family they created. She now had what she hadn't as a child. Her son was so happy. They were the Drakes. They were a family, and now they weren't one.

It seemed so surreal to her. At once, a flood of so many memories of who she just was overwhelmed her. One minute, she was just the mom trying to talk her soon-to-be husband into buying the kids a puppy for Christmas, planning dinners, trying to figure out when would be the best time to take the kids to Disney World, picking up pieces of the enormous train set Patrick insisted on buying Danny for his birthday, asking Anna to babysit so she and Patrick could have a date night, cleaning up the kitchen as she watched Danny and Patrick play cars on the floor before bedtime, watching Frozen for the millionth time, and talking about and planning their wedding and even one day, expanding their family.

The next minute, Jake Doe, her friend, someone she had spent time with had turned out to be her dead husband, Jason. And suddenly, as her little sister, Krissy liked to say, the shit hit the fan. Her husband had returned. The love of her life. The father of her son. The man she had mourned.

There was just one tiny complication. Her loving husband had no memory of their life, their anything. He had another family as well. To him Sam was just his buddy and he wanted a divorce. She barely had time to process anything before her entire life blew up right before her eyes.

For weeks Jason had subjected her to total indifference while Patrick had turned into a total asshole who pressured her into divorcing the dangerous Jason who was an interloper in their perfect life. "Interloper my ass," Sam thought to herself. Patrick had such a big issue when she was just trying to come to terms with Jake Doe being Jason Morgan. But he had zero consideration for her feelings nor Danny's as he dropped them both like hot potatoes, when he found out the real reason Robin hadn't really left him. Talk about being a hypocrite.

Sam took a deep breath and counted to ten. She had held it in for weeks now: the heartbreak, the anger, the sadness, and she refused to break down in front of Danny, who was currently trying to fall asleep in his old bed back at the penthouse. She had, despite her parents' protest, waited till after the holidays, and moved them back into their old home. She had spoken to Danny's doctors and a psychologist at General Hospital about the changes in Danny's life. They had both suggested normalcy and had assured her that her son wouldn't face any issues. Children were resilient, they told her and that made her breathe a little easier. The only person that mattered to her was her son. He was an innocent bystander in this mess, and she would be damned if he faced anymore hurt or disappointment. Part of her felt like grabbing her son and getting on a plane to anywhere in the world, far away from Port Charles to start over again, but she knew she couldn't do that to Danny. She couldn't rip him away from the people he loved, even his absentee, biological father, Jason Morgan whom she was at the moment, furious at.

Tonight, when Danny had asked her "where's my daddy, mommy," Sam wanted to beat the living shit out of Jason. It had not gone unnoticed that Jason, Danny's father seemed to spend all his time with the Elizabeth Webber and her sons. And that their son, Daniel Edward Morgan seemed to be nothing but a mere afterthought. She didn't even want think that Jason would treat his children differently. It was actually Sonny who brought it up without realizing the impact his words would have on Sam. Danny loved Carly. He was crazy about her and Sonny. Sam had, throughout the last year, made a real effort to let Carly be a part of her son's life. It was their link to Jason. Carly was many things, but she was loyal. Sonny was too. The last few years had been hell but she had gotten through them with the help of not only her family, but Carly and Sonny. They both made a point to check in with her weekly. Carly was always stopping by to spend time with her best friend's son. Sonny was always sending Max and Milo to make sure Sam and Danny were okay. But it was the day after Christmas, when she stopped at Sonny and Carly's to drop off their Christmas gifts, that she realized something was nagging her that she had considered crazy was maybe not so crazy after all.

She was watching Danny climb all over Sonny when he asked her what Jason bought Danny for Christmas. When Sam said nothing the room that had been filled with Carly, Max, Milo, and Michael had gotten so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop. It was at that moment that Sam remembered that Jason had been at the park with Liz and her boys taking them to see Santa. She was there for the same reason. She had actually stopped to sit on the bench for a second because she wondered if Jason had been alone on that day. She hadn't really thought much about it till Sonny asked her that one question, and her mind began to wander. If she hadn't been at the park, sitting on the bench with Danny, would Jason have even bothered to seek out their son? Why hadn't he bought a gift for him? Patrick had. Sonny had. The Quatermaines had. Max and Milo had. Damn, Carly, her sisters, her mother, and father had bought the entire toy store for Danny. So why hadn't Jason? It wasn't about the gift so much as it was the thought that mattered. She had pushed those thoughts out of her brain, but tonight, when her son asked for his father, they entered her mind with a vengeance she couldn't ignore.

She understood the predicament that Jason found himself in regarding Jake. The thought of the sweet young boy, who was her son's brother, being subjected to Helena for all those years, tugged at her heart strings. Yet still, Jason had two sons so why did it feel like he only did things for one of them, and it wasn't her baby? She knew she was overprotective of Danny. Losing Jason not only once but twice had partially killed her. Danny had been her constant savior. Her heart broke when Danny asked for his father again as she tucked him into bed for the night. She didn't know what to say to him nor did she want to lie to him. She had done the only thing she could think of which was switch the subject. She wasn't ashamed to admit that she had used bribery; every mother's secret weapon. She promised Danny that they would go visit Aunt Carly and Aunt Tracy the next day. They would spend the entire day together doing whatever he wanted and eating the biggest sundae Kelly's made. That seemed to satisfy her son for now. But she knew he would ask for his father again. And Sam had no clue what to do. Which was why, despite the close moments they had recently shared, she was not only pissed at Jason but at herself. Her son deserved better. And if Jason wasn't willing to be there for him then Sam had zero issue playing both roles of mom and dad in her son's life. She wasn't like Liz Webber that needed a man to raise her children. Pathetic, Sam was not!

Actually she was furious at Jason in regards to herself as well. She had been very understanding regarding his confusion and memory loss. God only knew the horrors he had faced being under Helena Cassadine's control. Then to find out that Liz had known for months, that he was Jason Morgan. She knew her husband well enough, to know he was furious, and felt like a fool for letting the little bitch deceive him. That's why she had left him alone. She chose not to push Jason and to let him deal with his emotions and discover who Jason Morgan truly was on his own. She wanted to ask Sonny so many times to let her use Max and Milo and have the two bodyguards grab Jason, and take him to Sonny's island. She wasn't ashamed to admit she had thought it out. A few weeks on the island with very little communication, just her, her husband and their son sounded like a dream. But then she would be just as bad as Lizzie fucking Webber.

She wanted to throttle the bitch but she kept it together because she knew exactly how she operated. And she refused to fall into her trap. She wanted to hit her, to slap her, to punch her. Elizabeth stole months from her and Jason. She kept Danny away from his father. The list of sins committed by Liz was long and vile. Everything she had done was despicable. Anyone else would punch the bitch. But she couldn't. Elizabeth expected that. She had on numerous occasions tried to goad Sam into losing her cool. Sam refused to. She wasn't heartless either. There was poor, sweet Jake. He was just a child, who had endured hell, and needed his parents. But what she did not expect was for her husband to continue to be under the bitch's spell. Memory loss or not, the fact that Jason was still running to Liz every time the bitch sneezed, pissed her off. Jake, she understood. He was Jason's son. She had always pushed Jason to have a relationship with his son. The relationship between Jason and Jake was wonderful. But she knew just how Liz operated and she would bet anything that Liz would have zero problems using that little boy to hang on to Jason.

She hated her. She hated her like she had never hated another human being in her life. Sam hated her more than she hated Manny Ruiz. At least with Manny she knew just what to expect. Sam kissed her son's forehead and turned the light off in his room.

She went into her bedroom and slowly started taking off her clothes. Part of her was glad to be home again. She loved the penthouse and the memories that it held. Living with her mother had been chaotic and she was happy to move back into the penthouse, but she just didn't expect to have so many emotions. Taking off her boots, she looked up and saw the picture of her and Jason staring at her. Taking her boot, she threw it at the picture and willed herself not to cry. Not that she had any tears left. She left her clothes on the floor remembering how much Patrick use to complain about her doing that. Patrick was so OCD and she had left messes on purpose just to get a rise out of him. As she stepped into the shower, she thought of Patrick. He was married to Robin, a much better fit for him than she was. She was happy for him. Truly she was. But at the same time she was angry. She didn't know why yet. Maybe it was his hypocrisy towards Jason's return or maybe it was the fact that he didn't even bother to say goodbye to Danny. She was hurt. She wasn't going to deny that. But then again, whom was she kidding? She and Patrick never made any type of sense. Sam Morgan, a Doctor's wife? The thought was laughable at best. The life Patrick wanted and the life she wanted were so very different. And so very boring. The children held them together. Together, they were a widow and a divorcé with children who held each other up when needed, and had fantastic sex. She shouldn't have gotten as close as she did. That had been mistake number one. Losing Patrick hurt. Losing Emma killed her daily. And now her son was paying the consequences of a mistake she had made. She knew eventually her son would forget and her heart would heal. Truthfully she was happy for Patrick, for Emma and even for Robin who had given up so much to return her husband to her and to Danny, his father. But hearing through the grapevine that Elizabeth was at their wedding was a total slap in her face.

Reaching for a towel to dry off she couldn't help but continue to think about how much she loathed Elizabeth Webber. She hated her with every fiber of her being. And to be invited to the wedding was disgusting. How could Patrick or Robin, for that matter, forget what Liz's actions had cost them all? Anyone else in town would have been tarred and feathered but not Elizabeth Webber. She never paid. She slept with men, got pregnant, and used her children as pawns. Sam shuddered at the thought of her Jason having sex with that, and felt jealous wondering if they were still fucking. Not even wanting to go there and let her mind wander with thoughts of that flat chested douche bag screwing her husband, she decided that the only way to get herself under control was to get drunk. There was way too much stuff in her brain. She needed to start over again. And nothing said, "Happy New Year," but tequila!