4.1.16, Mon

A/N: The usual Potter-twins-Harry-not-BWL trope, Dark!Harry, but not, but Harmony, but... well, I'm doing my take on it. I like Dark!Dramione, but in this case Harry is going to be the anti-hero etc, and he's going to be more awesome than I can ever make Draco in good conscience, despite having just started a Dramione fic. Draco can be dragged into shape, but his original canon version is pretty damning so it takes a lot of effort. Making Harry dark is much easier, especially since I'm basing him off Martin in R. J. Anderson's faery tale book series (Knife, Rebel, Arrow, etc) (Swift, Nomad, because who needs 'etc' when they know the answer?). Kudos if you get the reference, bonus points if you like it.

The Marginally Revised Tale of Tom, Rick and Harry

"Stand aside, you silly girl!" Pathetic. He expected better from her. It was amazing how much motherhood had weakened her, he reflected as he blasted her away with a killing curse. It was strange how she'd decided the outcome of their duels in the past, yet her lout of a mate had - in shocking and sudden accordance with his breeding - actually attempted to fight back. Shame, he thought, as he stepped over her body. A real waste.

Moving into the nursery she'd tried so hard to protect - well, verbally defend - so unlike her - he spotted at last the cause of his opponent's weakness.

The boys in the cot were wailing. They clearly didn't understand what was going on, and they screamed in the hope that their mother would wake. He curled his lip in disdain. He had no way of telling the boys apart, but he supposed it didn't really matter in what order he killed them. Either way, his supposed enemy would be dead and he would remain unchallenged. Twirling his wand idly in their direction, he tried to choose which one to go for first. He was missing a simply delightful little Samhain gathering at Lucius' mansion for this, after all, so he might as well entertain himself.

Drawing closer to the cot, he frowned. His initial observation had been flawed. Only one of the twins clutched through the bars of the cot to reach his mother, wailing and shrieking as he did so. The other... he had simply closed his tiny fists around the bars in order to support himself as he crouched, wobbly. Though his mouth too was open, it was his brother that was actually making all the noise. The intruder's eyes met those of the curious child, shocked to discover that they were the same shade of green that had just orphaned the boy.

The Dark Lord swallowed. Perhaps it would be better instead to finish the job quickly and arrive fashionably late to Narcissa's little soiree. Yes, that would do the trick - he slashed his wand furiously at the boys with a flash of green light, not caring which he hit and already preparing his second curse when -

"AAAAAARGH!" Screaming, he never got the chance to fire a second curse. As his body disintegrated and his soul fractured, his screams were almost drowned out by the child whose forehead now bore an angry red lightning-shaped scar. The second child, the one who was in fact the older of the two, remained as unaffected by this as he had his parents' deaths. Unlike his little brother, he didn't get upset over what he couldn't understand. Strictly adhering to this principle, he didn't so much as flinch when he felt an alien influence weld itself to his soul.

"They're calling it 'Ricky Potter Day', Albus! And honestly - leaving him with Augusta, of all people!"

"I thought you liked Lady Longbottom, Minerva?" Dumbledore said mildly.

"Oh, for - it's not a question of liking her, Albus, it's a question of trusting her with children!" Professor McGonagall cried in frustration. "You know how long it took to get poor Frank out of his shell at Hogwarts!"

"Yes," Dumbledore replied calmly, "And he went on to become a first-rate Auror, and now has a son of his own. Augusta is perfectly capable - "

"No, Albus! No! She has proven herself to be strict bordering on the abusive and seems to think that crushing a child's soul is character-building! You can't possibly - "

"The decision has been made and carried out, Minerva. Bathilda has already delivered Richard to his new home."

"Oh, goodie, leaving the poor boy alone with two tempestuous old bats to hover over him(!)" She spat, not unlike her Animagus form.

"Minerva!" Dumbledore's usually gentle tone had suddenly become razor-sharp, and McGonagall shrank back slightly.

"His name is just Ricky, Albus. If you don't know that, how could she? How is she better qualified to take care of him than - than - " Silently, Dumbledore held out a pocket handkerchief, which his colleague blew her nose on noisily. Thrusting it back at him, she swallowed a sob. "They were named after kings Richard and Henry Tudor, but their names are Ricky and Harry Potter! They were meant to be a set, Albus, it's - it's just not right!"

"There, there, Minerva," he said somewhat distantly as he patted her on the back. "It mayn't feel right to you, but there it is. Remember, it's all - "

"'For the greater good'?" She snarled. "You're leaving both boys alone with psychopaths, Albus. This cannot end well."

"Both boys, Minerva? Surely Lily's sister isn't quite as awful as that?" She bristled.

"You sent me to watch them, judge them - they have a boy of their own, with whom they clearly demonstrated today that they are the exact opposite of Augusta and equally as unfit to raise - "

"Here he comes!"

"- What?"

"Hagrid is bringing young Harry here - "

"On Sirius Black's flying motorbike! Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, what on earth were you - ?!"

"'Ello, Pr'fessors!" The ungainly half-giant stumbled off the bike, turning round to carefully remove the bundle of cloth he had with him. "Got the li'l'un 'ere!" He stepped closer to grandly present them with the dishevelled pile of blankets. "Er - 'ang on - " He poked about a bit and revealed the indignant face of a black-haired, green-eyed baby boy. The child glared up at them all quite unnervingly, until his eyes fell upon McGonagall. He lit up completely with an adorable smile, and he attempted to reach his arms up to her, though his face fell as he tried again and again to squirm his way out of the blankets.

"Och, sweetie - " McGonagall snatched the child from Hagrid and began to unwind the pseudo-straightjacket. "There y'are, laddie," she cooed in her best brogue as the child wound his little arms around her neck and nuzzled her shoulder. "I've go' ye, I've go' ye."

Hagrid and Dumbledore paled rapidly, giving each other stunned glances.

"Ah, Minerva?" She looked at him. "Ah, why, may I ask - that is to say - "

"He's just a wee kitten, Albus. Just wants a little love and attention." She shot a dark look at the house on her right. "Which he has no chance of getting living with them, nor will his brother get with Augusta. That, I can promise you."

"Just hand the child over, Minerva." Dumbledore ordered wearily. Grumbling, she re-wrapped the child - much better than he had been before - and passed him over to Dumbledore, all the while hissing instructions at him on how to properly hold the 'puir wee bairn'.

"Alright, alright!" Dumbledore waved her off irritably. "Now, to say our goodbyes to young Harry. A moment of silence, if you please." There was a pause. "Harry," he began, "we give you now to your family, who are to look after you as only closest blood-kin can." He ignored McGonagall's snort. "We hope that you will have a carefree childhood - "

"Pun so intended."

" - and that when you are old enough, you find yet more happiness among our ranks," he hesitated, then rushed, "despite the fact we care much more about your brother. Er, Amen, thank Merlin, God save the Queen, forever in our thoughts. Bye." He thrust the baby towards Hagrid. "Bad back old fellow, you'll have to do the deed." Sniffling, Hagrid tenderly placed Harry on the doorstep of the house. "And this, give him this." Dumbledore handed him a letter as he made to get up. "There now, all done! I hear Mr. Diggle's celebrations are to be quite spectacular this evening, so why don't we all head along to - "

"Albus!" Hissed McGonagall, "If you dare leave this boy out here all night without so much as a warming charm - !"

"Well, we can't possibly wake his relatives at this hour of the night, can we?" Dumbledore replied incredulously. "What sort of impression do you think that would create?" With that, he shook his head disapprovingly for good measure, then Disapparated. Gaping at the spot he'd just stood in, McGonagall opened and closed her mouth silently a few times before clenching her jaw shut and whipping round to face Hagrid - who was already astride Black's motorbike and had just cleared spell-range.

Shaking with rage, McGonagall allowed herself a few minutes to calm down before shifting into her Animagus form and curling herself round the now-sleeping child.

I don't actually like the name 'Ricky' very much for an HP character, but I was deciding between 'Danny' and 'Tommy' when I realised that Voldemort was already technically 'Tommy', good as it would have been. Probably why JK chose it. Anyway, then for whatever reason I remembered that saying, you know, 'every Tom, Dick and Harry' and for some reason I thought using that as a title justified giving a character a name I wasn't sure about.

Oh, well.

So this is probably going to be Dark!Harmony, as previously stated (so I don't know why I tried making it funny) and if you have any suggestions feel free to let me know.

VVxxxx