Levy managed to hold it in until halfway through Magnolia, but then the panic overcame her entirely. She slumped to the ground in an alley, hoping she was out of public view before she propped herself on one good arm and started to throw up. Visions of Gajeel, not her Gajeel but the one in the park, with those wicked red eyes and that evil grin. Had he crucified Lin too? How many people had he killed since he nearly killed her?

Her face hit the cold stone of the pavement as her arm gave out, thank goodness she had been able to avoid the vomit, and she started to hyperventilate. She tried to breathe slower, she tried so hard but her lungs wouldn't cooperate with her, and black spots swam in front of her eyes as she felt herself passing out.

"Apple and pear trees were a-blooming"

The words weren't in Fiorian but she easily understood them, and came from somewhere above her, floating into her brain and giving it something to latch onto which wasn't sending fear down her spine.

"Mist was creeping on the river"

The voice moved downwards, and Levy realised whoever was singing was sitting down next to her. The voice was deep, familiar somehow but she still couldn't place it.

"Katyusha set out on the banks, on the steep and lofty banks"

She latched onto the words, translating them into as many different languages as she could even as they left the singer's mouth like Mira had told her to. Fiorian, Boscan, that one dialect from Alvarez. Her mind started to clear as she focused on that task, moving away from the glowing red eyes that hadn't haunted her for years.

"She was walking, singing a song about a grey steppe eagle"

Levy pushed herself to sit up with her good arm, resting her head against the brick wall behind her. She wouldn't open her eyes, not just yet, but she groped around with her hand before her fingers met a leg and grasped on for dear life. She needed an anchor back to reality, and right now this was it.

"About her true love, whose letters she was keeping"

At the last words, her eyes shot open. She didn't want to hear any more, didn't need a love song right now. Her eyes took a while to focus through the tears, but she just about made out Freed sat opposite her, immaculate clothes already dirtied from the grime in the alleyway. His right eye was still bandaged the way it had been in the hospital, and Levy tried not to think of what he had been through. He smiled softly, the song halting from his lips as he spoke.

"Welcome back, Levy. I was walking through and I spotted…"

His words were cut off as she flung herself at him, needing some human contact no matter who it was from. He flustered slightly, before wrapping his own arms around her back as she sobbed into his chest.

"Freed! Gajeel and Bickslow, they…"

"I know." His voice was a harsh whisper, and made her stop in her tracks. "And I think they'd both appreciate if you didn't blurt it out to everyone."

Levy pulled back from him, perching awkwardly on her knees beside him.

"You… you knew? Was I the only idiot naive enough to think they had changed?"

Freed pursed his lips, looking out of the alley into the busy streets of Magnolia. That they'd been left alone for this long was a miracle in itself, and he didn't think it would last much longer.

"Levy, come back to my place? We can talk there."

Levy crossed her good arm, glaring at the man in front of her before her desire to know more got the better of her. She sighed in defeat, going to stand to her feet before the lack of magic and pain in her arm made her stumble.

Freed caught a hold of her, carefully adjusting around her bad arm until she was sat awkwardly in his lap. He blushed ferociously as he held out one of his hands.

"May I?"

Levy nodded, and seconds later they were surrounded by runes and out of the alleyway.

Being moved by runes was different to any way Levy had been moved before, magically or otherwise. Whenever she had been in Gajeel's shadows it had just darkened the rest of the her perception as the world sped past her. Travelling via Jet had always been too fast for her to fully comprehend, the world whirling past her as she clenched her eyes closed to stop them from drying out. The two or three times she had been moved by a teleporter it had roiled her stomach, making her need to throw up as soon as she got to their destination, but via runes?

She felt as if she was floating, all of her limbs moving of their own accord in directions that didn't make sense. Her vision was filled with runes, moving far too fast for her to translate and her whole skin felt like it was being caressed with a million butterflies. Her head felt like it was down by her feet, and her left arm was somewhere on another continent. She came to still on Freed's lap, eyes wide as she tried to work out what had happened to her and put it into words in her brain.

"Don't think about it too much or you'll go insane."

She turned her head up to look in Freed's eye. How did he do that all the time? How was he fine? The eye that she could see was as calm as always and she remained speechless as she stared into it. Could she see runes falling down behind his pupil?

"Seriously, Levy. What do you think happened to Bickslow?"

Levy shook her head. Was that true? Had Bickslow lost his mind because of Freed's runes? It wasn't unbelievable. When she blinked she could see more letters falling around her, slotting into place in the wrong formations, the wrong words, nonsense filling her head. She stared into his eye, turquoise and purple alternating as they wrote an entire story in seconds.

A snapping of fingers brought her out of it, and Freed's hand was right in front of her eyes. The runes that had been haunting her dissipated and her mind suddenly cleared.

"Breathe."

She took a deep breath, filling up her lungs with air before closing her eyes and resting against his chest. She didn't know what he felt about her still being sat on his lap, but she wanted to stay there. She liked the human contact, craved it even. She had always been a cuddly person, especially when she was upset, and she buried her face in his coat as he awkwardly pulled her closer to him.

"Did you know that they were going to do it, Freed?"

Her voice was made even quieter by the fact her mouth was muffled in the fabric. He sighed, resting his cheek against the top of her head. It was the most affectionate she had ever seen the man, but it was exactly what she needed right now. Mira had mentioned that Freed himself had been struggling over the last few days, maybe this was helping him too?

"I knew Bickslow was, but I promise I would have come to you if I had any idea he was going to drag Gajeel into it."

Levy grabbed onto the fabric of his coat, sobbing heavily for a moment before something crossed her mind.

"Tell me something, Freed. If you had been around when Phantom Lord attacked, what would you have done to Gajeel?"

She could feel Freed smile above her, but it was a sad smile that she saw on the face of many of her friends when they were reminded of things they had done in the past.

"Would you believe me if I told you we were in Magnolia when Phantom Lord attacked?"

Levy's eyes widened, but she didn't speak. The Raijinshuu had always gone quiet whenever anyone mentioned Phantom, and she had always assumed it was because they hadn't been around to defend Fairy Tail, or sharing with Gajeel's guilt at their similar attempts to destroy the guild, but it seemed like Freed was about to tell her the truth.

"We were rooting for Phantom. Our plan was for Phantom to take out the guild, and then Laxus would come in like some shining beacon out of the darkness, and bring the guild back to prominence again. And a part of that was eliminating the enemies. Bickslow had done reconnaissance and earmarked Gajeel and Juvia for himself, whereas Evergreen was to take Totomaru and Sol while Laxus took down Aria and Jose. I was to provide my normal back up, setting up traps and making sure we won."

Levy winced, realising just how well the Thunder Legion had planned it out. If they had taken part in the battle, would it ever have gone as far?

"Do you regret what you did?"

Freed sighed heavily, blowing through her hair as he did.

"Honestly, no. My past is my past and I can't change it. If I didn't live through my past I wouldn't be the man I was today. I wouldn't have the friends I've found and I wouldn't have Mira."

Levy nodded slowly, turning this information over in her mind. Dwelling on the past could be detrimental to your health. But this wasn't the quiet, bordering on secretive Freed she knew.

"Why are you doing this, Freed? Why bother to help me at all?"

Freed chuckled slightly and Levy could imagine him closing his eye as he did.

"I'm helping out a friend, aren't I?"

His cheek left her head as he leant back on the sofa and she tilted her face up to look at him.

"Plus, you have your coping mechanisms and I have mine. My girlfriend is whirling around trying to fix everyone but herself, my one best friend is blind, the other's mind is falling apart at the seams and my idol blames it all on himself. My whole life, I was to be seen and not heard. My whole life I was to remain silent about what was happening around me. But when it comes down to it, I just want to tell stories. I want people to know why we are who we are."

Levy nodded even though she didn't fully understand, and rested her head back on his shoulder. They sat in silence for a while, neither knowing what to say before Levy finally raised her head to look at him again.

"What should I do, Freed?"

His good eye opened, looking down into hers before he sighed and looked up at the ceiling above him.

"You know as well as I do I can't answer that."

Levy puffed out her cheeks, of course she knew. But that didn't mean she didn't wish the answer could be given to her on a plate.

"What did you do with Bickslow?"

Freed shrugged underneath her, closing his eye again.

"What I had to do. But Gajeel isn't Bickslow."

Levy thought for a moment. Her heart and her head were pulling her in opposite directions, and she knew which one would win out.

"Freed, could I use your office?"

She stood up when he replied in the affirmative, making her way to where he pointed before she froze.

"Oh, and your hand."

Gajeel could smell him coming from a mile away. He was lay in the wreckage of his living room after the Dragon had wreaked destruction in its mindless rage. Now he was collapsed on the floor, staring up at the ceiling with what felt like a forty tonne weight on his chest. He wouldn't cry. He was the Iron Dragon Slayer, Black Steel Gajeel, and he would not cry.

The old man picked his way carefully through the ruins almost nimbly for his age, but Gajeel didn't acknowledge him. Why should he? He didn't owe him a damned thing.

"Gajeel."

The whole scene flashed back images to a dark scrap yard, what seemed so long before. But he knew this time the conversation would be different.

"I know what you did."

Gajeel sighed, turning his head away. Of course he knew. The old man knew everything that ever happened in his guild.

"If you want me to leave, I'll go. Just give me a couple days to…"

"When I found you, Gajeel, you were so close to darkness I was unsure if even I could pull you out of it."

Makarov sat down on a broken chair, it wasn't comfortable but it was enough for his old bones.

"And you're not back there yet, Gajeel. But I fear if I let you leave now that would be the only path open to you. Since I've known you you've become such an important part of this guild and I'm proud to call you my son, no matter what happens. That being said, I trust you won't do it again"

Gajeel scoffed, finally turning to look up at the man. His expression was stern, but there was still something there. That love and sense of belonging that was what it truly meant to be in Fairy Tail. The feeling he was sure he was taking advantage of.

"But, the Raijinshuu…"

"Are getting better. They have taken the right path, they're just not as far down it as anyone would like. You're not them, Gajeel. Don't stoop to their level."

Gajeel closed his eyes against the daylight streaming into the room. It was too bright for a day like today. A day like today needed darkness, thunder and rain. The two men sat in silence for a while, before Makarov stood and turned to the door.

"Your presence has been requested at the council. Levy has already been and is in the clear. I trust you know your story."

A spike of hope entered his heart as he found Levy wasn't in danger, but it sank again when he remembered that it was no thanks to him. He nodded, and Makarov held out a piece of paper from his pocket.

"Oh, and someone requested I give you this. I leave it up to you whether you read it now or later."

Gajeel stared at the paper while the man left. It was stiff, royal letter paper if he had to take a guess. What did the royal family want with him? It held no scent, no clue as to who had passed it over to him. When he opened it the handwriting was clipped and neat, not Levy's even though he knew the words were hers. As he read tears welled up in his eyes, falling in fat globules to stain the paper. When he was finally finished he crumpled the paper into a ball and threw it with the rest of the wreckage before storming out.

"Dear Gajeel,

I wish I could say this to your face but I think it's better this way.

First of all , want you to know I love you with all of my being. I can't imagine life without you, you've become my everything. Please, remember that.

That being said I cannot forgive you for what you have done. To take another man's life is a sin I didn't think you were capable of. Not anymore. You're not the man I fell in love with and that's okay. Lin put a strain on all of us and I understand that, I really do. But I need some time to think. Some time away from you.

I will stay away from the guildhall, to make it easier on the both of us. I'll go to my therapy, both physical and mental so you don't have to worry about that either.

I know that I will come back to you, Gajeel, but I can't promise you when or if it will be the same when I get back. But we can try.

Make sure you look after yourself, and don't isolate yourself entirely. Please don't run away from this. Lily is still around, along with the rest of Fairy Tail. You'll always be my Drake. My Dragon without wings.

I love you.

Levy"

A/N - The song that Freed sings is called Katyusha, it's a really old Russian song and I don't know the artist I'm afraid!

With this chapter I am putting this fic on a semi-hiatus. That means it won't be updated every week, but I will still update periodically. I hate to do it but I have my thesis to write for my Masters and unfortunately that takes precedent.

In the meantime I am writing a collaboration with Gajeelswoman, who you may know as the wonderful human who beta's all of this and helps me out of writers block. Seriously go and check her out if you haven't already, her writing is incredible. The first chapter should be out soon (maybe).

And another shout out to Kmmcm who blind tests these chapters for me and makes sure I get the reaction I desire. You're the best!

Thank you so much to everyone who has left me reviews and supported me through this insane fic! I hope to see you soon!