The Freedom of Revelation

By TheOneAndOnlySlayer

"I don't understand."

The one called Kylo Ren faces the opposite end of the corridor. He has dreamed of this moment, standing exactly where he is right now, but the buzzing and clashing of X-wing and TIE fighter dogfights overhead ensures that this is very real.

The small, whimpering voice, also affects him differently. In his dreams it is younger like a small child's. The owner of the voice now is at least five feet tall, lithe, with brown hair, brown eyes –

"Why?" Rey asks. Kylo Ren is unable to face her at the moment. Calmly he gathers himself to turn and look at his enemy. His light.

"All those people," she gasps. He knows she is crying and imagines his heart is stone. "All those Jedi you killed…."

His soul stings at the accusation. She does not know, and he knows she cannot remember…

But her voice is cutting, torn with pain and anguish. "Why did you spare me? Why, Ben?!"

Kylo Ren does not have his mask. It's useless around her anyways; it's been rendered useless the minute he removed it for her on Starkiller Base. In their past battles he has fought her without it, enjoying the way her eyes glared in ire and concentration or how her hair would brush against him. It would be absurd to face her now with it.

When he turns, her face is shiny with tears. She looks wretched, like she hasn't slept in days. Like that night so many years ago, and she was so much smaller.

"I assume you've already been told."

His cool reply makes her stand straighter. "I wanted to hear it from you. I need to hear you say it." The last words are whined out.

She must have revisited the moment. Days ago, Skywalker – Uncle Luke – had sensed and unlocked the secrets hidden so deeply in her mind that even Ren himself would not have uncovered them.

He can imagine the hours of meditation, Uncle Luke trying to tinker in her head like a surgeon. One slip and she could have been brain-dead, mute or dumb.

He hates his uncle's interference more than anything he has hated in his life, including himself. And he has spent an unhealthy part of his life hating himself.

"What Skywalker showed you was a mistake," he admits. He calms before he continues. "You were a child. You were so small. A mind as innocent as yours would have tricked itself to see – "

"I saw everything, Ben!" Rey shrieks suddenly. "I saw their bodies, I saw all of that blood – "

"You saw only a small part – " Kylo corrects her, his voice shaking.

"There were so many of them, how could you have killed them all – there were kids my age – "

"I DIDN'T KILL THEM!" Kylo bellows. "I OPENED THE DOOR! THAT'S ALL I DID!"

The confession, thrust so deep into his memory that he only learned of the truth three days ago, flies out of him. He hadn't killed any of the Jedi. Not a single one, even though the night it happened, he was praised and credited with the massacre.

He pales at the echo it creates. They are underground in the last Sith stronghold where the remaining Knights of Ren are defending themselves from the Resistance. It is a miracle Rey has gotten this far to him alive, unhurt.

But oh, gods and stars alike, if anyone has heard him, they are both condemned.

As he stares into Rey's eyes, two burning embers, he knows this is not enough.

"Snoke has always called to me. Always known I would be the weakness in the New Jedi Order. Even my uncle saw it. He tried so hard to misdirect it, but I was a child. I wasn't a master and was flawed.

"The only way to end Snoke…was to become his student."

"No." Rey's voice is like steel.

"I answered his call and let him seduce me. I openly let him corrupt me, feed me with the power of the Dark Side." Ben's voice is bubbling with self-hatred like lava. "I made him believe I thirsted for Darth Vader's legacy, and he believed every sniveling, pathetic lie I offered him."

Through the Force Rey is crippled from Kylo's words. It is as if he is beating her with the truth, and Kylo fears that his fifteen years of planning have burst into flames prematurely.

Rey turns away to wipe her face, calm her breathing. "How did all those people die, Ben?"

Ben's first sin and Kylo's first accomplishment. Though it hardly required any effort, Kylo had sent the location of the Jedi Temple to Snoke, and the awaiting Knights swooped in. Kylo waited, mentally draining out the faces, the laughter, the offers of kindness and praise that he was a fine student and a proud son of Han Solo and Princess Leia; removing every trace of humanity so that it would make opening the door and welcoming his new, murderous comrades easier.

He had slipped into the fringe of the massacre. The temple included many rooms where padawans of different ages or genders slept. Kylo had meditated deeply to drown out the purging screams. And to carry out his most important task…

"I made myself understand what I was about to do. Why it was so important. Even when I found you, calmed you and made you sleep so we could escape…you must know why, don't you, Rey? Don't you, Rey Kenobi?"

It has only been a few days since Rey has learned the truth of her heritage. She feels no pride for a grandfather she never heard of, not yet.

Kylo Ren has to kneel to face Rey, his shadow, his first student. He understands now he had to have done it all, orchestrated not only the end of the Jedi, ensured Skywalker would not be on the planet, but that he would forget his primary intention: to destroy Snoke, the last living embodiment of the Dark Side. And to save Rey, the five-year-old granddaughter of the most noble warrior in the universe.

"You were so small when you first came to us. My uncle found you by accident and discovered your lineage. And he told me to look after you."

Rey bites back a wail of disbelief as Kylo lays a hand on her shoulder. She remembers this, too. The way he at first stubbornly pretended she didn't exist. Then over time her innocence warmed him, distracted him from his own troubles. And then it plagued him when he first heard the siren call of the Dark Side.

"You never left me alone."

Still, young Ben had taught Rey to be patient, to sit down and look away when he patched a cut on her knee. He taught Rey her first lightsaber maneuvers despite her young age. Rey's small hands would pull at his own to slow him down. She would lunge her body on his back and beg to be carried home. She would whisper secrets to him about castles and saving the universe.

"You, Rey," Kylo tells her. "You are the one meant to end all of this. Not me. Not a Skywalker. You. Your destiny…" he takes her hand and lays it on his quivering heart. "You had to hide, even from me. I had to hide you in a place the First Order would never venture to. If you had somehow risen out of Jakku, as you did…then it meant you and I would see each other again.

Rey is shaking her head, but her eyes are clear. She is trying so hard to think of what to say.

"You didn't have to… you fool. You stupid man. You should not have kept this all to yourself. What has any of this accomplished?!" She's suddenly beating at his arms and his chest. Kylo…Ben can only hold her sobbing form tighter.

"It will end soon. Sooner than if I had not interfered. The last of the Sith will vanish, and I will be free again."

There is an explosion and a heavy tumbling of rocks in the distance. The Resistance will bomb the shit out of this place, even if they suspect Rey is near. They have to get out.

Urgently he cradles her jaw so she looks up at him again. "You have to go. Snoke is gone. I have to be at his side."

Rey doesn't buy it. "You can't go back to him. Please don't! Let him go!" Come back with me rests on her tongue.

"This will not be the last time I see you," he promises urgently. "I will be called traitor, murderer, monster and demon a thousand times so long as you would live after his defeat," he swears. "If in this life, or in the next…I will see you again."

He pulls her up and rests his hand over her hair one more time. A long time ago it used to be messed with leaves and dirt.

"You have to go. Go, now!" he shouts. His ship is not exactly close, and he has to hurry.

As he runs, he senses Rey's fear for him. It has changed so much from terror to anger, blame, revulsion and now sadness. She fears now that he will not survive, that she may never see him again.

Ben knows this. He knows also that he will go down in the end. He remembers now, how when he was only a teenager, he was so sure of his choice. To protect her. If only it hadn't cost so much.