Part 3/5: A Hot and Cold Romance

"What customers having today?"

Ranma glanced up at the waitress. She was wearing the blue kind of frilly waitress uniform this restaurant had. Her hair was done in twintails and she had a large pair of glasses on her face. Something about her seemed familiar. "I'll have the steak." He said with a grin.

Akane, also had a wide smile on her face. "I'll try the spicy omelette!" she said cheerfully.

The waitress took their menus and bowed, "Be right back!" She said, skipping off to the kitchens."Spicy?" Ranma asked.

Akane had a slight pout on her face, "Kasumi doesn't like spicy food, so I don't get to have it much."

"Huh…" Ranma mused, realizing that, while good, he couldn't remember a time when Kasumi cooked that the food had any kick to it. "Never realized that."

"Order up!" The chef said, setting out plates with steak and an omelette on them.

"Thank you!" The waitress said, picking them both up… a smirk formed on her face, and she lowered her glasses. Revealing that the facade of a pleasant Family Restaurant waitress was a mere mask being worn by none other than Shampoo!

"Akane like spicy food huh?" Shampoo chuckled, reaching into her blouse and pulling out a small almost glowing bottle. "See how Akane like legendary Nǚjiézú Madness Spice! "

It's well known that Chinese food is significantly spicier than Japanese. And this secret spice, having been bred through one thousand years of Nǚjiézú history, was the spiciest in the world! It is said that the Jade Emperor himself wept upon tasting food cooked with this spice! (Now whether or not he wept due to joy or the spiciness isn't said.). She popped open the cork on the bottle. With the delicate touch of a master surgeon she tipped it over and let loose a single flake of the spice.

The omelette shifted from a yellow color to a deep blood red. Also the plate suddenly became uncomfortably hot.

Donning her disguise again (pulling the glasses back up) Shampoo happily skipped to the table where Ranma and Akane were idly chatting about some mundane worthless thing. Soon Akane would be exposed! The plan was flawless

"Aeeeeeee my weak tongue can't handle this heat! Water!" Akane, of course, was foolish enough to not know that you needed milk to handle spicy foods!

"Waitress bring water!" Shampoo said, a bucket of water in her hands. "Woops!" She tripped, splashing water all over Akane. Exposing her True Form!

"Meooowaaahh?" Akane said.

"Eeek! Monster!" Ranma screamed.

"Shampoo here for you Airen!" Shampoo shouted, throwing off her waitress costume.

"Oh Shampoo thank you!" Ranma shouted, embracing her. "How could I have ever wanted to date that monster!

"Curse you Shampoo!" Akane shook her fist impotently.

Yes that was exactly how it would go.

"Here meals!" The waitress said, dropping the plates down in front of the pair. "Too nice steak and omelette for dating couple!"

Ranma opened his mouth to protest, but then a napkin slapped over his mouth.

"Thank you." Akane said, nodding to the waitress.

"If need anything just call!" She said, before bouncing off.

"You were just about to protest that it wasn't a date weren't you?" Akane asked.

"Err…"

"Come on! You don't have to lash out like that out of habit." Akane said, "It doesn't make you any less manly or something to be on date or spend time with me. Quite the opposite, really."

Ranma blushed, turning away. "It's not that… ugg. It's like…"

"Like what?" Akane asked.

"...you know how annoying it would be to see the smug look on my old man's face if he found out we went on a date?" Ranma said, "I mean, come on, our parents shove us together, and even though we do kind of like spending time together, don't you kind of hate that they're 'winning' or something?"

Akane stuck her fork into her omelette, "That's… well I can kind of see where you're coming from with that." Ranma's dad could be very obnoxious, and the smug cheers and celebrations her own dad would pull off… "Well who cares what your dad does, we're on a date because we like each other, right? Not because our dads shoved us together and expect us to get married." She took a bite of her omelette, "Just smack him or something. Not like the two of you don't beat on each other all the time anyways."

A laugh, "Sure, that works great." He began cutting into his steak.

"Mmmm." Akane took another bite of her omelette, "This is great!" She said with a bright smile and eyes closed with delight at another swallow.

"Really? It's that good?" Ranma said, a sly smile popping up, "Well I'll trade you a bite!" without warning he snatched a bit of the omelette off Akane's plate. Before Akane could let out a protest he stuffed the egg and rice into his mouth.

"Ranma!" Akane squealed, "Ask first!"

Ranma stood stock still, fork still in his mouth.

"Ranma?" Akane said, noticing Ranma's face becoming redder, sweat forming on his forehead, "Are you OK?"

"GAAAHHH HOT! HOT HOT HOT! WATER!" Ranma shouted, fork flying out of his mouth, arms flailing everywhere. "Burns! Mouth! Fire!"

"Waitress bring water!" The waitress charged back to the table, a large bucket in her arms. Ranma leaped out of his seat, straight into the bucket head first. "Aiyaaahh! You not supposed to do that!"

Ranma pulled a now female head out of the water. "Oh god it's not getting any better!"

"That's because you need to drink milk to get rid of spicy aftertaste!" Akane said, "Miss, could you get us some milk?"

Neither noticed the twitch of her eyebrow behind the glasses. "Y-yes get milk for customer." She said.

"That's insane! How are you eating that?!" Ranma said, sitting back down.

"I like spicy food." Akane said, "You got to prepare yourself for the heat Ranma."

"There's heat and then there's pouring molten iron down my throat!"

"Here milk." The waitress practically slammed it down onto the table. "Anything else?"

"Err, a cup of hot water?" Ranma asked.

Another twitch behind the glasses. "OK. Bringing cup of hot water to customer." She said, running off to the kitchen again.

Akane took another bit of her omelette. "You know I'm surprised that this place had something this spicy."

"Maybe they could tell you liked insane tasting food." Ranma said.

"Oh, excuse me, err, ladies?" Both of them looked up from their table, what looked like the manager was there. "I heard there was a commotion, is there a problem?"

"Oh, nothing. My… friend… here is just a little too sensitive to spicy foods." Akane said.

"It's hellfire in your mouth." Ranma said.

"Hmm? Our spicy omelette isn't that hot." The manager said, "Did our chefs put in too much hot sauce?"

"No! It's great, Ranma's just pouting because I can eat something he can't." Akane said.

"No way it's insane, take a taste manager, something's wrong with that." Ranma said.

"Fine!" Akane growled, "You're just being silly," She scooped up a bite of omlette and shoved it into the manager's mouth. "See? He's fine… sir?"

The manager's eyes had turned to pinpricks, and his face became pure sweat. "Oh my. Are those my grandparents? Should I cross the river?"

"No! Don't go that way!" Akane shouted, the manager foaming at the mouth and hitting the ground, twitching. "Mister manager, you have so much to live for! Who will... Uh... Make sure the staff here get their checks signed?"

"Akane, please don't ever volunteer for a suicide hotline," Ranma pleaded.

"Hot water for customer." The waitress said, setting the cup down at the table. "Ah, why man on floor?"

Ranma unceremoniously poured the water over her head. "Because that omelette tries to kill everybody but Akane apparently."

"Everybody but her?" The waitress asked. "That… you?" She frowned, before picking up a knife and scooping up a sliver.

"Hey that's mine!" Akane protested.

"Shush." The waitress said, putting it into her mouth.

A moment passed.

Then tears began to form. "Ah, forgot how painful insanity spice be. Must go cleanse mouth." She said without a speck of emotion, walking over the twitching manager to the kitchen. A few seconds after the kitchen door closed an ear shattering scream could be heard coming from roughly that direction.

By the end of it the manager woke up and insisted that they accept the meals for free out of apology. Akane had tried to say she had liked the super-spicy omelette but an elbow from Ranma and a whispering about never turning down free food had put an end to that. Although it did make Akane think about how someone who said he his father so much sure did take after him a lot!

"Well, uh, how about we head down to the p-park for a bit?" Ranma suggested.

Oh yes, that would be nice. With the sun setting and providing a nice atmosphere, a good way to finish this date. Akane could already feel a weight coming off her shoulders. Take that Shampoo! She thought, then felt a flash of guilt over that. It's not like I'm forcing Ranma on a date to shove it in Shampoo's face or anything, she's not even here!

The bush next to them suddenly sneezed.

"Bless you!" Akane said without thinking.

"Thanking you!" the bush answered.

"The park sounds good." Akane said, "Err, maybe not the one with the pond." Best not tempt fate.

Ranma, thinking of his curse, nodded, "Yeah let's head down to the other one." He said. He quickly stiffened up when Akane took his arm. "R-right let's go!"

"The park is the other way Ranma." Akane said.

"Turning around!" Ranma said, the couple marching down the sidewalk.

Shampoo poked her head out from the bush she had been hiding within. "No pond?" She said, "Clever Akane, try and avoid water. But Shampoo expose you!" Sure, somehow Akane had avoided her previous trap, but that was only the beginning of the water hell that Shampoo had in store!

The sun was painting the sky by the time they reached the park. It was a smaller one, a handful of trees, a swing set, and a bench. Still, it was nice, and this late there was nobody else but the two.

Eventually the two were drawn to the swings, sitting next to each other and slowly swaying. Neither said anything, just silently swaying through the air. "Hey Ranma." Akane finally said, "Have you ever wondered, um, how things would be if our parents hadn't thought up this whole engagement thing?"

Ranma let out a snort, "Probably wouldn't have even met."

"That's awfully pessimistic of you." Akane said.

"Well, our dads know each other, and they know each other because they suffered under the old letch. And then after trying to get rid of him, clearly not enough TNT, one of them got this dumb idea into their heads." Ranma kicked off faster. "So what are the odds we'd meet up if that stuff didn't happen?"

"So what, we wouldn't even know each other, or l-like each other if this stupid engagement wasn't set up?" Akane said, "So what, if you hadn't met me you'd… err..."

"What? Please don't tell me you're going to get jealous over me liking some girl if we never met." Ranma groaned.

"No! Just, arrgg I don't mean that! Just like, would we even give each other the time of day if we weren't told people want us to get married?"

Ranma looked up at the fading in stars, "Er… well, if we had met without this, and you had wanted to be friends… probably?"

That was enough for Akane, she jumped off the swing and landed some distance away, "You want to go home now?"

Ranma, not one to be outdone, jumped out, did an aerial flip, and landed a bit ahead of her. "Sure?" He held out his hand, and with a smile Akane took it.

The two walked away from the park, completely missing Shampoo run out and collapse in the middle of the playground, tugging at her hair as various things squawked, oinked, and shouted around her.

"How Shampoo hit everybody but her!" She said, alas the two were out of earshot. "And what you all doing here!?" She shouted to Ryoga, Mousse, Pantyhose Taro and a horse.

The horse was new.

It had been insane, Shampoo had kept trying to get into position to splash Akane and reveal her new cat-like form. But first Ryoga wanders in, Mousse tries to hug her, Pantyhose Taro shows up for some godforsaken reason. (Happosai isn't even in Japan right now) and then this horse guy is giving her the stink eye.

Slowly Shampoo stood up. This day had been a bust. Her plan to get closer to Ranma had failed. Somehow Akane had avoided being exposed, and with the way they had been holding hands who knows what was next?! Kissing? Marriage? Children!? "No!" She felt the fire burn inside her. "There must be something Shampoo can do!" She would march down to that uncute tomboy and drench her in cold water-

"Nooooo!" Shampoo's plans were halted by from the distance a blur sounding like Akane with cat ears ran past her.

Akane's heart was pounding. Ranma's hand was unusually warm in hers. The date had been, mostly, a success. There had been that incident with the omelette, but other than that it had been a good time. Even that had been kind of funny. They were now heading back home. Where inevitably somebody would interrogate them about how their day had been.

"So, uh." Akane stopped at the corner. If they turned to the left then they'd be on the street her house rested on. "I had a good time."

"Y-yeah. Same." Ranma said. He looked down at Akane's hand. Held by his. This was not the first time they had held hands, but it felt different.

This is a date. There's something people do at the end of dates. Akane thought. She had stopped at the corner to make sure nobody at home could watch this. "Maybe we… should go on another one soon." She said, lifting up her free hand and putting it on Ranma's shoulder.

"Oh. Err… yeah." Ranma said, scratching his chin with his free hand. He looked rather cute. Akane leaned forward, her lips pursed. His face turned pink. "I… suppose…" He leaned in closer. Their eyes wanting to close but neither wanting to not see this… moment… of… contact.

Then a truck drove by. It kicked up a puddle that immediately splashed both of them. There was a slight tearing sound, Kasumi's modifications kicked in without a hitch.

"Ah… Akane?" Ranma said. She was now shorter, but that if anything made the view of the ears and tail just so much more obvious. "Why do you have-"

"Nooooo!" Akane screamed. All her work and this stupid curse gets exposed after one day!? She ran past him! She needed to get away from Ranma before she realized that she was part cat now and run away!

Ranma Saotome, despite what many have said about him, was not stupid. She had seen Akane change, just like Ranma had when hit with cold water. Then Akane screamed and ran away. It did not take long to put two and two together.

"Who the hell cursed her!?" Ranma thought aloud. The change had been odd. Eyes, weird ears, and something growing out of her back.

"Ranma! Shampoo hear unattractive screams!" Ranma nearly jumped out of her wet clothing at the sudden appearance of Shampoo. "What happen, where Akane?"

Ranma turned to Shampoo. Events of the day going through her mind:

- Akane and Shampoo had clearly fought the day before.

- This morning, Shampoo had pulled out a bottle of water and said it would stop their date.

- Shampoo was here, now, just after Akane's weird curse had been revealed.

- Shampoo and Mousse had messed around with Jusenkyo stuff in the past.

"Shampoo." Ranma said, "Did you curse Akane?"

Shampoo gave Ranma a big smile. "That silly. Why Shampoo curse Akane?"

"I dunno, to try and beat her?" Ranma said. "You two did fight yesterday, I could tell. So, did you?"

"Ah." Shampoo sighed, "Jig be up."

"So you did!" Ranma's voice rose.

"Yes. Shampoo try and give Akane curse." Shampoo admitted, "But it not work when Shampoo try!"

"I can't believe you Shampoo!" Ranma said, "Did you seriously think… ugg! OK! Do you have a cure for her?"

"Spring of Drowned Girl water no work on Shampoo." Shampoo said, looking annoyed. "Spend so much money and only cured for five minutes."

"We are going to find Akane, go down to the Cat Cafe, and you're going to fix this!" Ranma said. She grabbed Shampoo by the wrist and began walking the direction Akane had ran.

"Why Ranma so mad? Shampoo cursed, Ranma cursed, it not like Akane getting curse big change." Shampoo said, keeping pace with Ranma quite easily "Beside, it no work right!"

Ranma felt a headache going on. Shampoo's antics were usually forgivable and ultimately harmless. But this was something big. Part of her wanted to scream at Shampoo, but the rest of her pointed out that Ranma had forgiven Mousse for trying to curse him and nearly cursing Akane. Which had lead to Ranma nearly marrying a duck.

Of course some time after that duck Ranma had thought was Akane at the time came back. She had somehow landed in Jusenkyo and now wanted to accept that proposal. But that is a story for another day.

"If there's a cure available, you're going to help her get it." Ranma finally said.

"If that what Ranma wants." Shampoo said with a sigh.

The door to the Cat Cafe was been kicked open.

"Shampoo!"

Cologne looked up from her manga. Alas, she would have to see if Kosaku finally admitted his feelings another day. "Good evening Akane." She said.

Interesting. Akane had cat ears, green cat eyes, and a tail. She was also damp and looked very angry. "Where is she!?"

"She's off for the day. I assumed she was spending time with Son-in-Law." Cologne said. Akane looked ready to attack, so she kept her guard up. Not that Akane was that much of a threat to her. She was good but not that good.

"So, is this that 'Cosplay' thing I've heard the kids talk about?" She said, laughing a bit. She watched Akane slam a fist down on a table. It cracked. "You'll be paying for that." She said.

"Shampoo wasn't with Ranma because I was." Akane took a few deep breaths. Good for her. Cologne saw that she was trying to resist lashing out.

"I can assume that my Great-Granddaughter is responsible for your current state?" She said, and Akane making another crack in that poor table told her the answer.

"Has Great Grandmother seen Aka- Ah. Here she is Ranma!" It was at that point Shampoo entered the restaurant.

"You!" Akane shouted, turning to Shampoo and slipping into a fighting stance.

Right. Cologne wasn't in the mood for further damage. So she tapped a particular point on Akane's lower back. This caused her legs to collapse to the ground.

"Thank you Great Grandmother!" Shampoo said, happily walking towards Akane with a chui out. Cologne tapped her in the same spot. "Oh come on!"

"Old Ghoul did you know about this!?" Ranma barged in at this point.

"If you mean Akane's transformation, no. Is this Jusenkyo?"

"Yes." Akane said, glaring at Cologne.

"Hmm…" Cologne walked over to Akane. "Fascinating. A mixed curse."

"Mixed?" Akane and Shampoo said at once.

"Right." Cologne said.

"The hell's a mixed curse?" Ranma snapped. Oh she was definitely about to launch into violence. Cute really, if you asked Cologne.

"I thought it'd be obvious. What spring do you think Akane was exposed to, Son-in-law?"

Ranma looked over Akane. She took in the ears, examined the eyes, and the very noticeable the tail. "Uh, Spring of Drowned Half Demon?"

Akane's tail rose up, "I look like a demon!?"

"Ah that fit." Shampoo said, "Though catalogue didn't have thing like that."

"No. If I had to guess this is the result of mixing water from the Spring of Drowned Girl and the Spring of Drowned Cat." Cologne said, "The fact that Akane was already a woman meant the change wasn't so drastic."

"...did stupid JusenCo people get Shampoo's water mixed!?" Shampoo screamed.

"Their products are pretty shoddy. I keep telling you not to buy from them." Cologne said, "I bet they spilled them in transit, and probably mixed them up. No, wait, Shampoo did the Spring of Drowned Girl water only temporarily cure you?"

"How Great Grandmother know?"

"There we go. If Jusenkyo water is diluted with regular water it's effects become only temporary." Cologne nodded sagely. This did explain everything.

"So there isn't a cure!?" Ranma tried to grab Cologne to shake her. But she just stepped back and hit her on the head with her staff.

"Even if it wasn't diluted it wouldn't help Akane. She's already cursed with the Spring of Drowned Girl. It wouldn't cure her any more than it would cure you Son in Law."

"So I, in particular, am cursed for the rest of my life." Akane said. "Because Shampoo ordered crappy products from a shady company."

"How it happen!? They in sealed urns! In individual packaging!" Shampoo began to tear up. Ah. Cologne wondered why she and Mousse hadn't been spending much over the past couple months. She must have saved a lot of money for those.

"Hey I'm back and you won't believe what I saw Old Gho- Shampoo!?" Mousse stepped into the Cat Cafe. "Ah, Saotome and Tendo. I saw your da-"

Shampoo suddenly turned to the door "Did Mousse do anything to urns in Shampoo's room yesterday?"

"Those urns of water?" Mousse frowned, "Well, Uh. I might have spilled a little. But I filled them back up! So that's nor problem, right?"

The pressure point Cologne had hit on Akane and Shampoo was meant to be a temporary measure to make people calm down. However, it had its limits. Enough pure rage and the person under its effects could still move.

This was proven when Shampoo screamed a wordless sound of fury, leapt up, and began trying to strangle Mousse with her bare hands. Still, Mousse was a tough young man it would take a lot more than that and a lot longer to kill him. So Cologne focused her attention back to Akane.

"I'd like to apologize for Shampoo's rashness. I would have told her this was a bad idea. I assume she wanted to use Ranma's phobia of cats to try and drive a wedge between you." Cologne said.

"Why would she think that'd work?" Ranma said, "Shampoo being a cat is just an annoyance, not some deal breaker."

"Oh and what is the deal breaker?" Akane said, her legs twitching. The pressure point was wearing off, it seemed.

"Err…" Ranma looked back to Shampoo's attempts to throttle Mousse. "Can we not talk about this now?" "I can't believe you! We went on a date, almost kis-"

"Ixnay on the isskay!" Ranma hissed. She scooped up Akane, and was promptly kicked. Not very hard, Cologne observed.

"And you can't even tell Shampoo 'no I'm not into you'!?" Akane finished.

"Can you two please argue someone other than my restaurant?" Cologne cut off the bickering before it could escalate.

The two turned to look at her. How cute. They had forgotten she was there. "Fine. You owe Akane Old Ghoul." Ranma muttered, and began carrying the catgirl out of the Cat Cafe.

Now that those two were gone, Cologne hopped over and used her staff as a lever to flip Shampoo off Mousse. Letting him breathe again.

"Shampoo give kiss of death!" She screamed.

"You will do no such thing. You're lucky that Mousse made your plan backfire. If you had turned Akane completely into a cat Ranma would not be so willing to forgive." Cologne said, "Mousse, I suggest you find another place to sleep tonight."

"But all I did was-" Cologne whacked him over the head.

"It's for your own good."

Mousse stood up, rubbing his chest. "Fine. I guess I'll go to the pond tonight." At those words he walked to the back and poured a cup of water over himself. The resulting duck flew out the door.

"Great Grandmother!"

"Shampoo you messed up. Honestly I don't know if it's even possible to recover from this." Cologne said, "And you were already fairly close to this being a lost cause as is."

Oh dear here come back the tears. "But Shampoo just... Just…"

"You just thought you could even things out. Ranma doesn't like your cursed form, so give it to Akane." Cologne said, "That's your problem Shampoo, you're so focused on defeating your rivals you blinded yourself. Your means became your ends.. Recall your first tournament, you tried to win fast by using all your power to knock your rivals off the log. How did that go?"

"...Shampoo overexert and get knocked off in second round."

"Exactly. You thought the goal was to knock the opponent off the log. But the ends is to win the fight, with knocking off the log being the means."

Shampoo looked down at herself, "So… what Shampoo do?"

"I'll give you a few days to think about it." Cologne said. "Go do your room, I'll make dinner. Maybe write to your father for advice."

Shampoo walked upstairs,her head down low. Cologne felt for her granddaughter. She was trying her best, but she had never interacted with anyone romantically interested in her besides Mousse.

Ah well, she was still young. If this didn't work out there were always more fish in the sea. Which thankfully excluded ducks.

"Shampoo understand now. Trying to defeat Akane using little tricks is no good." Shampoo said, looking into a mirror. "Shampoo defeat her properly!" She pulled out a piece of parchment, a calligraphy pen, and began to write.