Salvation

Rey was not often caught disconcerted or thrown, but when she awoke in the morning Rey was abashed to admit that she could not quite discern where she ended, and Ben Solo began. His presence hung heavy and content in her mind, and her own consciousness was comfortably wrapped in his. Slowly, Rey managed to lift the weighty fog of an all-consuming sleep off of her senses, and in the process was faced with feeling Ben in her mind at every turn. Was it even her mind he was in? Or the other way around? Again, Rey was at a loss. Ben Solo however, was still deep, dreamless sleep, and Rey was alone with her own thoughts, wherever her thoughts were.

She was warm. So warm and at ease, all Rey wanted to do was join Ben in sleep once more. Rey was not so far gone as to be oblivious of the way their bodies were interwoven from last night's antics. Nor was she so far gone as to not feel appropriately bashful at the memories. They had fought as per usual, yes, but the ending of the battle was far from what Kylo Ren and Knight Rey typically sought from each other. Kylo Ren had failed to show in full, and Ben had been unable to fuel the façade for long. Last night's meeting had been all just Ben Solo and just Rey, and just the beginning of what they wanted of the other.

Should she rather have felt shame? Rey felt that shame was the last thing in either of their minds this morning. Rey so desperately wanted to savour this peace, and just exist in this moment. It felt so near to what she imagined perfect could be.

However, her practical side knew this calm was not to last. Ben Solo would wake up, and have to be Kylo Ren once more, and she would have to hunt him down as Knight Rey. One night wouldn't change that, Rey reflected bitterly. One night, however, was a start.

With an internalised sigh, Rey started working through the currents of her psyche to try and unstitch herself from Ben. To be perfectly honest, Rey found that it was rather difficult to disentangle one's mind from another's when your body, too, was thoroughly entwined with theirs.

Rey found faint currents of blue and red. Blue for her, red for Ben, blue for her, red for Ben, Rey chanted as she worked through the Force signatures, separating their minds. This worked well, she found, until one stubborn piece of blue refused to join her own, but happily went along with the rest of Ben's red tendrils. The same held true for a handful more. Some were just flecks, others were full strings. Rey could not help but stop her work and marvel at what was quickly forming into a recognisable single signature. What remained tangled of the two finally unravelled by themselves and joined their respective wholes.

Rey was left speechless, still very much present in Ben's mind, simply marvelling at what was now his Force presence. It was still overwhelmingly red, but there where specks of light that had never been there before in all the time since Rey had first intruded on his thoughts in that interrogation chamber.

Perhaps just one night truly did start something after all, Rey thought, an unfamiliar feeling settling in her stomach and making her nervous. If Rey was being honest with herself again, she had to admit she was relieved that Ben was still fast asleep. She needed to leave immediately.

Caught in a fit of urgency, and pushing that fluttering feeling aside, she gently coaxed her limbs free of Ben's own, and instantly missed the contact. Force Rey feared she had made a terrible mistake. She shuddered to think what Master Luke would say. Or worse, General Leia. Rey did not want to know what Han Solo was thinking right this moment. It was simply not worth the extra unsettling feelings layering onto her already queasy gut.

Rey got dressed as quietly as she could, but stopped short when she noticed the silvery scars criss-crossing her body where yesterday there had been thick, angry red cuts and welts. Try as she did, and really she did try, to stop the memories from last night, Rey couldn't help but be taken back to Ben's hands tracing every gash, every mark, and every cut or insignificant nick on her body. His touch had been electric and with this new evidence Rey now doubted that it was completely due to her personal reaction to him…

Rey quickly yanked herself from that thought path and hurriedly threw on her leggings and undershirt, forgoing her boots and cuirass, opting instead to simply bundle them up and leave as soon as possible. This would have worked perfectly, Rey knew, if only her lightsaber were not lying on the other side of the room, just behind a still-slumbering Ben Solo.

Rey flinched slightly as Ben groaned in his sleep, grasping his cloak in his fist and reaching for someone who wasn't there anymore. Rey held her breathe until he relaxed, too fearful that any sound or movement from this point on would surely wake him.

Once Ben was still again, Rey gently reached out with the Force and ever so slowly lifted her lightsaber towards her. The act was tense, Rey was not going to lie. Her control of the Force was far from steady, and even though she felt incredibly restored again, she knew she should not be too taxing-or trusting- of her ability just yet.

Relief flooded Rey's system when she felt the cold metal grasped in her fingers, and she quickly turned her heel to make her escape.

'Quickly', of course, was completely relative to Rey. Particularly when a part of her, and quite a large part at that, still terribly wanted to crawl back into Ben Solo's arms. Galaxy be damned. This was not, however, what Rey let herself do. With a final deep breath, she turned and carefully made her way towards the small ramp.

Rey couldn't help but think to herself that this time around, she would have to think up a lie as to why she didn't have any scars. It was only by focussing on this banal thought that Rey ever managed to leave the room despite the sudden feeling of a steady gaze on her back, and a last minute, lingering feeling of longing giving a final, weak tug on her mind.