Day 3: An Everlark Drabble
Little Christmas Bun
Written for que-sera-sera88 for the F-Yeah Everlark's Secret Santa 2014 Fic Exchange and Yuletide in Panem.
Set in the Good Again/Sealed With Salt Water universe.
"Help me with this, will you?" Johanna snapped as she attempted to string the lights around the large Christmas tree, leaning precariously on the ladder.
"I told you…" Haymitch responded impatiently as he sat in the armchair, watching Johanna struggle without making a move to assist. "If you had hooked the lights on the tree and walked the rope around, you'd already be finished stringing the lights."
"It's not going to hang right if I do it that way!" she huffed. "You just want an excuse to sit on your ass while I work. " Their bickering continued back and forth until Johanna's wife, Zarah, appeared under the tree and captured the end that was frustrating Jo so much. With a slow, languid drawl typical of the citizens of District 11, she admonished Jo.
"Now, you stop your huffin' at Haymitch," she shook her head at him in mock disapproval and then turned to Jo. "You should have called the minute you were struggling. I've told you that time and again…" The beautiful, curly-haired, dark-skinned woman fussed at Jo in the way that people who'd been together for a long time had of fussing at each other. Katniss watched her friends' banter and realized it was not unlike the unconscious scripts she and Peeta enacted when they were together, born of a deep knowledge between people who'd spent many years loving each other. And just like between Katniss and Peeta, there were harsh moments mixed into Johanna and Zarah's relationship that only time and persistence had softened enough to bring them to this point of complicity.
"You wouldn't be acting like that if Rowena was here," huffed Johanna angrily at Haymitch, clearly not ready to let her irritation go.
"Rowena is not the boss of me," he said irritably, but unconvincingly.
"Yeah, sure! That doctor's got you in your place, isn't that right, you old grouch?" Zarah teased, to which Haymitch scowled, though he couldn't repress the smirk that soon followed. Zarah was tough, like Johanna, but far less damaged than her wife, who had endured not only the Games and the special hell of being a Victor, but also torture at the hands of the Capitol during the Revolution. Zarah had had her work cut out for her when she decided to unite her life to Johanna's.
It gave Katniss a great deal of satisfaction to see Haymitch squirm - much as he wanted to deny it, Dr. Aguilar had been responsible for the fact that he was still alive and sober today. He could act as smug as he liked, but Rowena was the boss of him, and he didn't seem too much worse for that fact. It also made for great ribbing when he was alone without her.
"Where is Rowena, by the way?" Katniss asked.
"Emergency call to the Community House. She'll be down in a bit." he grumbled, still eyeing both Johanna and Zarah with irritation.
Meanwhile, Effie and her husband, Oakley, the former Mayor of District 12, now one of the four District Consuls that represented District 12 before the House of Representatives in the Capitol, worked diligently on setting the table. This, of course, was not without disagreement, as Effie's idea of arranging the items was significantly more formal than perhaps the occasion called for.
"Effie, there is no need to set out the extra silverware," Oakley said patiently. "I don't think this is a formal dinner."
"Yes, but decorum dictates that all the silverware be placed appropriately," Effie said breathlessly. "Otherwise…"
"Otherwise, what, love?" he said in a perfectly reasonable voice. "Will lightning strike us down? Katniss, have you told Effie that you will toss us out if we do not place the soup bowls precisely above the dinner fork?" Oakley teased her, his blue eyes twinkling down on Effie with humor. In all the years they'd been together, Katniss had never seen Oakley lose his patience with Effie, even when, every now and then, her perfectionist Capitol-elite alter-ego made its appearance.
"I don't know, Effie," Katniss teased. "I might have to ask you to go directly out into the snow if you don't place the butter knives just so."
Effie gave a chagrined smile, collecting the small bowels and butter spreaders and replacing them in the credenza. "I've done it again, haven't I?" she asked sheepishly.
But Oakley, who looked at Effie as if she breathed stardust, collected the remaining utensils and set them in their place before capturing her small hand and raising it to his lips. "You want everything to be just right. There's nothing wrong with that."
Katniss slipped away, sensing that her presence was no longer required and returned to the kitchen to stand before the giant baking oven, hugging herself to still her nerves. She surveyed the dishes in various stages of preparation as everyone waited for Peeta to come home from the bakery with Thom and Delly. Katniss was more anxious than usual that this dinner be as perfect as possible.
Just as Katniss was reaching out to test the dough for the dinner buns, the back door opened, and in came Tristan, Annie and Finnick's now 16 year old boy, carrying bags of goods from the market.
"Can I put these here, Aunt Katniss?" he asked politely, to which she could not help but smile at him.
"Of course. Leave the bags here, and I'll sort everything out."
He set the packages on the counter, his shaggy auburn hair, now damp with melted snow, was the exact shade as that of his late father, Finnick. He turned quickly to hold the door open for his mother, gallantly relieving her of her own packages. Annie was the same even after all these years - a fragile, pale-skinned beauty with a dusting of light brown freckles across her tiny nose and luxurious dark hair. She'd never remarried after Finnick's death and even though she'd done a phenomenal job raising a sensitive, caring boy, she had never completely lost those moments of distraction in which she forgot exactly who or where she was.
"The snow's coming down pretty hard," she said breathlessly, dusting herself off on the mat before entering the house completely as Katniss hurried to help her remove her coat.
"I made hot chocolate. It's in the pot on the small burner," Katniss said as she hung their coats to dry on the coat hooks. Every few years, they got a fierce winter, full of snowstorms and bitter cold, and this year was proving to be one of those winters.
"That sounds lovely. Thank you, Katniss. Tristan, would you like a cup of chocolate?" she turned to her very tall son, who was all Finnick except for the light skin and a certain softening of his father's rugged features.
"Sure! I'll get it!" he said excitedly, bounding across the kitchen to fetch the mugs from the cabinet.
"Why don't you take a mug upstairs to Wesley. He's been waiting for you to come home," suggested Katniss. Wesley Greenfield was Oakley's son with his first wife, who had died tragically in the firebombing of District 12. He'd often babysat Tristan when he visited from District 4. Despite the age difference, Wesley had never lost his fondness for Finnick Odair's young son.
Katniss watched the boy as he poured the chocolate and walked as quickly as he could to meet his friend. She reflected on the first time she saw Tristan's picture, almost 15 years ago when she'd first conceived of the book of Memories to honor all the lost souls of the Hunger Games and the Revolution. He'd been a tiny bundle in his mother's arms and the only thing Katniss could feel was dread for the child because she did not have faith in the world he would soon be a part of. And yet here he was - fully grown, without major traumas, raised in the safety and security of a sane world. As if in response to her thoughts, her stomach gave a quick flutter of excitement, which she tried to quell by rubbing the palm of her hand across it.
"Annie, he's so beautiful," Katniss said with real feeling when Tristan had left the kitchen.
"Oh, I"ve been very lucky," Annie responded. "I have your mother to thank for that."
Despite her initial terror on behalf of the little boy, Katniss found herself happy for Annie, for the little piece of Finnick she was able to hold onto, though she was as damaged as everyone from the Games and the War. Luckily for her, Mrs. Everdeen had moved to District 4 after the Revolution and helped Annie with Tristan. Katniss no longer resented the fact that her mother had opted to live with Annie instead of coming to District 12 after the war to care for her broken daughter, even though at the time, Katniss had felt as though her mother had died as well. Those had been dark days for her because of the powerful rejection she had felt at having been abandoned yet again by her mother.
"Katniss," Mrs. Everdeen called, interrupting Katniss' very thoughts of her, drawing her attention. She gazed upon the blonde, blue-eyed woman, who Prim had resembled so much, in careful study. She could no longer find it in her heart to be angry with her mother, not after so many years of therapy for both of them. The fact of it was she could no longer find anger in her heart, period.
There was sadness in abundance - there would never not be. Katniss still had spells where getting out of bed was very difficult, though those bouts of depression were becoming fewer and farther between as time settled between the space of where she was now and the horrible events that had scarred everyone around her. Still, when Katniss searched her heart, she found very little of the fire of anger and vengeance that had fueled her for so long.
"You look distracted," observed Mrs. Everdeen. She gave Annie a brief hug of greeting before casting a conspiratorial look in Katniss' direction. "You shouldn't worry. Peeta's going to be over the moon" she said as she checked the pots warming on the stove and the rising dough near the oven.
Katniss nodded. "I know. It's just...Well, was it like this with dad also? Always feeling so scared?"
Mrs. Everdeen paused in her work to glance over at Annie but saw she had lapsed into one of her dreamy states and was not aware of their conversation. "Those were different times, and we didn't go through what you and Peeta went through. But there's always fear that something bad will happen. It's as old as life." Mrs. Everdeen approached Katniss, whose face had gone pale. "But we managed, at least until your father died. And bad things do happen. Didn't you get reaped? And Prim..." Mrs. Everdeen's voice failed her as Katniss' eyes went wide, reminded again that her mother had not been dealt an easy hand either.
Straightening herself against the blow of remembering her youngest daughter, Mrs. Everdeen continued, "But things keep moving and look, here you are! Peeta doesn't know what's waiting for him. I just want to see his face when you tell him. He's been so good for you," she said, her eyes bright with expectation.
Katniss couldn't agree more. Fifteen years with Peeta had cured her of so much. They had had such bleak days in the beginning - days where they couldn't even look at each other because the pain was so acute. However, through his example, Peeta had taught her that things could get better, that there was more good than evil in the world. His care of her taught her that others could care too. His patience with her had taught her patience. And his apparently infinite ability to forgive others and find the basic human decency in all people had taught her to have a little faith in humanity also. She'd never be as trusting or as open as he was but being with him had made her much more willing to take risks than she would have on her own.
It was for this reason that she wanted everyone she loved close to her tonight and why this dinner meant the world to her.
XXXXX
When Annie was done with her chocolate, she went upstairs to wrap gifts with Mrs. Everdeen. Passing Tristan on the stairs, Katniss watched her mother leave a kiss on the boy's cheek - for all intents and purposes, she was his Nana, and he would always be her first grandchild, even if he was not kin by blood. But when her eyes fell on Katniss, a sudden flush spread over her cheeks and a smile hovered on the corner of her lips, a secret that bound the women across generations the way these things have always done, since the beginning of time, connecting mothers to their daughters.
A blast of cold winter wind from the open door exploded through the corridor as Peeta, Delly, Thom, and their teenage boys made their way inside, filling the empty space with the endless chatter of young people. Tristan bounded down the remaining steps with Wesley in tow to greet his friends, George and Frank, with whom he was accustomed to playing when he came to visit his aunt and uncle each year. Peeta removed his coat and scanned the room quickly. When he finally saw Katniss, his face broke into a grin that made Katniss' heart want to sing.
"I brought stuff," he said by way of greeting as Katniss stood up on her tiptoes and kissed his icy cheek.
"I see that," she smiled, accepting his brief hug before he went to set his packages on the kitchen counter.
"Oh, that's what we are now! Stuff?" exclaimed Delly. After years of raising children and tending her shop together with her husband, Thom, she had become soft and plump, the very definition of motherliness. Katniss looked down at her own, more muted curves and wondered if that was what having children did to you. She decided that she could use the extra that came along with the territory.
"The good stuff, of course," Katniss answered, hugging Delly, then Thom in greeting. Delly looked around for something to do and soon was helping Johanna and Zarah with the Christmas tree while Thom struck up a conversation with Haymitch.
"I'm sorry I got in so late," Peeta said after washing his hands and grabbing his kitchen apron. "The bakery was packed until the end - you'd think people had never heard of pre-ordering!" he said with a huff.
"I know. And the snow is coming down pretty heavy. Annie and Tristan almost got caught in it," Katniss answered as she gently took the apron from his hands. "We've got this. Effie set the table, and we'll start serving in a bit. Why don't you take a hot shower and change your clothes?"
Peeta looked at her sheepishly, clearly wanting nothing more. "Are you sure? I don't want to leave you with all the work."
"Don't worry! If it gets bad, they can serve themselves! There's not one person here who hasn't slept in this house or been in our fridge before." Katniss watched as his resolve waned. She knew him so well. "Go, take half an hour and clean yourself up."
Peeta hugged her, grasping her braid in his hand. Nuzzling the warm spot beneath her ear, he whispered, "You wanna come upstairs and help?"
Katniss chuckled, squeezing him to her. The temptation was strong but the house was full of people. "Only if you want to have dinner for breakfast tomorrow. You better get going, tiger, and wait until later to open your gift, just like everybody else."
He pulled back, laughing. "Not like everybody else, I hope." He turned happily and made his way up the stairs, the uneven footsteps reverberating through the corridor.
"No, not like everybody else," whispered Katniss to herself. "Not this year."
XXXXX
There was no shortage of help. Everyone descended on the kitchen (except for the boys and Haymitch, of course) to help carry the food to the table. After spending so much of her youth struggling to eat, Katniss could not help but feel a sense of satisfaction when she saw her cupboard full and a table overflowing with good things to eat. There was the baked turkey, roasted potatoes, sauteed vegetables, sweet potato casserole, minced pies, and potato salad. In addition, Zarah prepared an incredible mixed rice concoction called jambalaya, made with spicy sausages. Delly provided a roasted, stuffed duck and Mrs. Everdeen made a beef stew, while desserts and pies came from the bakery. By the time Peeta came downstairs, the meal was ready to be served.
Katniss took account of everyone present, feeling dismayed that Rowena would miss the start of the meal when the front door opened, and the doctor herself entered, shivering from the cold.
"Wow, it's coming in sideways. Merry Christmas! I'm sorry I'm late." She shimmied out of her coat and hung it near the fireplace to dry. She uncovered a box from under her arm and showed it to Katniss. "I made some stuffed baked pasta, even though it doesn't look like we'll get to it. It just needs to be heated," she said, making her way into the kitchen.
"I got it." Haymitch took the package and lead her to the chair he had just vacated. Katniss watched in amusement as Zarah gave Johanna a knowing look, smirking as she mumbled "Mmm, hmm," under her breath, just loud enough for Haymitch to hear. He said nothing but only scowled in response.
"I believe where I come from, they call it having your man on lock," Johanna,said loudly, to which Zarah burst into laughter. Katniss herself had a hard time suppressing her own mirth as Haymitch's face become dark with irritation.
"Bite me," Haymitch muttered as he passed them on the way to the kitchen. When he returned, he sat down next to Rowena, flicking away a small leaf that had become entangled in her still damp hair, all the while studiously avoiding Johanna and Zarah, who continued to laugh and make veiled comments at his expense.
Katniss took her seat next to Peeta, who'd risen to his feet, carving knife at the ready. "Okay, okay. Listen up, folks," Peeta said, tapping the blade against his glass to capture everyone's attention. "Here, here! Okay, so, as the man of the house, I get to…" but he could not complete his thought as twitters of laughter erupted around the table. The loudest was Haymitch, who groaned, muttering something under his breath that included Katniss' name. Effie pinched her lip, while Mrs. Everdeen became very interested in the table cloth. Johanna guffawed and even Annie giggled demurely behind her hand.
Peeta cast everyone a mock glare of warning before continuing, "As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, since I'm the man of the house, I have the honor of cutting the turkey and making the speech. So here goes," he cleared his throat dramatically, pausing to gather his thoughts..
Oakley interjected, "You need some help there, Peeta?"
Peeta blushed as the laughter kept him from completing his sentence. "You guys are regular comedians Look, all I was going to say was thank you, for sharing this special evening with Katniss and me. It's incredible that at one time, the best we would've been able to come up with on a night like this was some thin soup, and stale or hard bread.' He gave a pointed look to the young men in particular, and Katniss knew he was trying to impress upon them the privilege that they were enjoying at the moment. The mirth of only a moment ago gave way to a meditative silence as he continued.
"I don't want to dampen spirits but we shouldn't forget how very lucky we are that despite everything, we have each other." Peeta turned towards Katniss, directing his words to her. "I have my happily ever after, and I try not to lose sight of that each day, no matter what ghosts come to visit."
Katniss reached up and took his hand, giving it a powerful squeeze. He would be the end of her tonight if he continued in this way.
Peeta turned back to his captive audience, giving them a warm smile of gratitude and welcome. "So the only good advice I can give you on this special night where we celebrate friendship and the spirit of generosity is...may you never forget what needs to be remembered nor remember what is best forgotten."
All was silence as everyone in the room considered his words and the necessity of their truths. Katniss watched Peeta carefully slicing down on the turkey, awed by his ability to choose the best possible words in any circumstance and felt love bloom fiercely in her heart for her boy with the bread, no longer a boy but a man who had only become more fully what he had always been.
XXXXX
"Come with me to the kitchen," she whispered to Peeta after dinner, while everyone was engaged in unwrapping gifts. Peeta stood up and followed her dutifully in that direction, clearly thinking Katniss needed some errand done.
Turning on the overhead lights as they entered, Katniss turned to him. "Close your eyes."
Peeta smiled in confusion. "What are you up to?"
"Uh-uh. It's a surprise. Now glue them shut!" she laughed nervously. When she was sure he was not cheating, she led him to the warm oven, which now had a large red bow on the door.
"Merry Christmas!" Katniss said, her voice shaking. It was gimmicky, but she didn't think she had the words to actually tell him.
Peeta looked at his oven quizzically, even going so far as to tilt his head. "Um, Katniss, that's the same oven we've always had."
Katniss scowled in mild irritation, her nerves making her more impatient than usual. "Oh, for heaven's sake, just open it!"
Peeta shrugged good naturedly and opened the oven door. The light in the oven went on as he reached inside. "Katniss, why is there a bun in the oven?"
Katniss gasped, swallowing the lump that had lodged itself in her throat. "You should know, Peeta. You put it there."
"No I didn't. I...oh…" he trailed off into silence, a look of shock slowly dawning on his face.. "Oh!" he exclaimed again, as he looked first at the oven, then at the bread, then at Katniss. The way his eyes flittered between all three was the most comical thing she'd ever seen.
"Are you…?" Peeta couldn't even say it, and it broke Katniss' heart a little because after begging for so long, even after they'd agreed, he'd probably given up hope of ever really being a father.
"Yes," she said, the terror that was slowly turning the air in her lungs to ice warring with the warmth in her heart at having made him so supremely happy. "Merry Christmas," she said.
Peeta's face broke into a joyous, ever widening grin, his eyes beginning to fill with tears, as he wrapped his arms around her and picked her up off the ground, hugging her close to him as he exclaimed loudly, making a sound that was something between a laugh and a sob. It was so loud that it drew their guests from the living room to the kitchen, and the space suddenly became crammed with people.
"You guys alright?" asked Haymitch, a look of mild panic on his face. Rowena, who had been the one to examine Katniss when she suspected she might be with child and had confirmed her suspicions, placed a calming hand on his arm.
"You're going to worry yourself to death," Rowena whispered as Haymitch visibly relaxed under her touch.
"Old habits die hard," he answered, bringing his own hand to rest over hers.
"I'm going to be a dad!" Peeta blurted out, still reeling from the news. "I'm going to be a daddy! See, there's a bun in the oven!"
Katniss watched him, the word "daddy" echoing in her ears, savoring it, her heart fit to burst with love at his absolute joy. It took her back to that night on the beach when she had imagined a world where Peeta's child could be safe. And now she was the one that would give that dream to him. How impossible it had seemed then, how improbable it seemed now, and yet the universe had just shown that, occasionally, the odds could be in their favor.
There was general laughter and mayhem as the news settled in on their guests. Delly, who could always be counted on to be exuberant on behalf of all the stoics in the room, burst into a fit of happy tears, hugging both Peeta and Katniss with something close to ecstasy. Thom, who likely remembered when Katniss first returned to District 12 and could barely make it back to her home in Victor's Village on her own, shook Peeta's hand extra hard and smiled with satisfaction as if he'd won a secret bet with himself.
"You went and made us Aunties!" exclaimed Johanna as she and Zarah encircled Katniss in a tight hug. "You are so in for it now, Brainless!" she laughed as Zarah shook her head.
"You're gonna scare that girl right out of making babies, you know that?" she teased, making Johanna laugh, which was not something anyone often saw. "You better be prepared to have one spoiled little child, Peeta!" Zarah admonished as she hugged him tightly.
"You can count on it." he said, wearing the expression of a man who was still in the throes of a dream.
The boys were more muted in their congratulations. After all, they were still at that age where they couldn't decide whether girls were amazing or gross and babymaking was one of those things that was all tied up in their confusion. Tristan, George, and Frank were appropriately polite and slipped away to get back to their gifts as soon as the adults were distracted. Wesley made a better show at being mature but he, too, slipped out at the earliest opportunity.
Annie's lips shook as she congratulated the soon-to-parents. "Finnick would have loved this, if he'd been here," she said. Annie hugged them both dreamily and Katniss liked to think that in those moments of distraction, she was somehow together with Finnick again.
Haymitch didn't even make a pretext of smugness and simply pulled his two ex-tributes to him, wordlessly inviting their new little addition into the circle of his protection. He and Katniss shared this in common - a complete allergy to any excessive public displays of emotion. But he made an exception on this occasion as he had on the day of their wedding.
"Y'all made me a grandfather after all," he said as Mrs. Everdeen approached. "That is, if you don't mind, ma'am," he said in deference to the older woman.
"A baby can never have too many people to love it," she said placidly as she hugged Peeta to her.
"Thank you, for making her happy." Mrs. Everdeen whispered to her son-in-law, as she did every year since they'd married.
"Thank you for Katniss. She makes me happy too," he responded in turn. It was their own private ritual, a secret exchange of affection that they indulged in each year, as a reminder of what they owed each other.
Haymitch turned to a very content Rowena. "You knew, didn't you?"
She nodded. "I'm the one who did Katniss' pregnancy test and examination."
Peeta looked at her with curiosity. "How far along is she?"
Rowena smiled. "By the looks of it, she's almost three months. It will be a late spring baby if it goes to term."
"And you didn't even tell me," groused Haymitch.
"Oh, no, you don't! Doctor-patient confidentiality. Inside my clinic, Katniss is my patient and her medical business is her own." Rowena stepped forward and hugged Katniss tightly. "But outside the clinic, it's different. I'm going to give those two over there a run for their money…" she jerked her thumb at Johanna and Zarah. "This is going to be the most spoiled baby in the history of babies!"
Effie was equal to Delly in the hysterical way she received the news, exclaiming over and over that her birds, her darling birds, were expecting. Oakley pulled Peeta away from Effie's effusions to offer him his own personal congratulations.
"I remember the way you treated Wesley when we first met. I've never forgotten your kindness to him. You're going to make a fine father," he said, shaking Peeta's hand vigorously. Peeta flushed with pleasure but before he could respond, they were interrupted by Effie. Just as she did for their toasting, she fetched champagne (and apple cider for the expectant mother) for a toast of good fortune.
Later that evening, as the guests cleared out to their respective rooms, Katniss leaned drowsily against Peeta on the sofa, her legs tucked under her.
"That was, hands down, the best Christmas gift I've ever gotten," he said quietly, toying with her braid.
"You mean, better than last year, when I dressed up as Santa's Helper?"
Peeta blushed furiously. "Oh, right. That Christmas is actually pretty hard to compete with." He turned his face down at her. "You still have that outfit? Because, you know, you might not be able to wear it for awhile..."
Katniss purred, snuggling deeper into his arms. "Yeah, I have it but I'm not putting it on until everybody leaves. We were very noisy that night."
"Hmmm…" he said appreciatively, then changed to a more serious tone. "I know this is scary for you. I promise, our baby will be safe. You'll be safe. I'll never let anything happen to either of you."
Katniss listened to his words. "You can try, but you can't promise to always keep the baby safe. That's not how it works."
"I know," Peeta said with a frown. "But I can try my best."
"I know you will. Like you always do." Katniss sat up suddenly, knowing that if it was possible to give security and a sense of protection in this world, Peeta would find a way to do it.
"Let's go upstairs. I might not be able to dress up…"
Peeta didn't let her finish as he stood up suddenly and picked her up, kissing her so that everything south of her belly lit up on fire. "You are so sexy when you're pregnant."
Katniss laughed. "I'm not even showing yet!"
"That's okay. Just the idea of it is enough for me," he said as he bound up the stairs to unwrap his favorite gift of all.