Xannytoes: Hello everybody! Xannytoes here, bringing you another dose of Advanceshipping goodness. You know what they say! An Advanceshipping fic a day keeps the pirates away! Get it? Ships? Like boats? And pirates? Like... bad guys who sail boats? No? Man, you guys just don't get my humour.

As I'm still working on the next chapter to Return of Hoenn (slowly but surely, it's coming), I thought I'd write this for a little bit of fun. A new series, entitled Snippets. This mini-series looks at Ash and May at random moments in their lives. Some are romantic, others (like the one you're about to experience) are crazy. I may even throw a few sad parts in there. Just think of this as a little tribute to this amazing pairing (which we all know will be canon one day). So sit back, relax and enjoy :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon. If I did, Advanceshipping would be real and we'd have real Pokemon running around. The cover was made by me, using images from orangedroplet and eatmypokemonshorts on Deviantart. Make sure you check them out :)

Ash's mother had once given him some fantastic words of advice: women loved a man who could cook. Ash did not know what had overtaken his senses that morning, as if he was being controlled like a puppet, his actions not his own.

He'd decided to cook.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE FOOD!?"

It was some time later before Ash remembered another choice piece of advice from his parent: There was truly nothing more terrifying than an angry woman. If you managed to upset her in any way, it was scientifically proven that your life would become a lot shorter. Ash himself was experiencing a first-hand look.

"I'M SORRY!" Ash fled from the battle zone. He decided to take refuge beneath the dining room table. For a moment, he was concealed by tablecloth. A single moment of escape from the terror. This was up until the tablecloth spontaneously combusted, and Ash was left staring a furious May Maple in the face.

Think Ketchum, there has to be a way out of this. Come on...rack your brains for something... WAIT! I GOT IT!

"Your hair looks wonderful!"

"RARGH!"

"MY SPLEEN!"

It was at this moment in time that Ash's most loyal companion and friend Pikachu, waking from the land of ketchup, decided to see what all the commotion was about. He peeked his head through the doorway for approximately three seconds, before deciding he'd best not get involved in the current situation.

"TRAITOR!" Ash cried out as his electric friend fled the scene. These would be the last words the young lad would utter for several minutes, as May pulled him out from under the table and tossed him across the room.

"I'm sorry," said Ash, as he landed on his rear with quite the thump. Looking up, he finally got a good look at the most important person in his life. Eyes blazing. Fists clenched. Sparks shooting off her body. All because he'd burnt her Ramen noodles.

Arceus, he loved her.

"You're sorry?" May raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, before picking up Ash by the collar of his shirt.

"Yes," Ash gasped, now struggling to breath, "I'm sorry. I'll do whatever I have to do to make it up to you. I swear!"

"Anything?"

"Yes, anything! I-"

Oh sweet Giratina no. When he saw it, he knew he had screwed up.

The fires in May's eyes were doused, but the twitch of her lips that replaced it was perhaps more terrifying. Anger was washed away, replaced by the equally horrifying look of mischief that was yet to be managed.

"Anything you say?"

May tilted her head, and Ash was left wondering what series of horrible choices one would have to make to put them in this sort of situation.

"W-w-what did you have in mind?" the trainer inquired, as his right pocket experienced a reduction in weight. Didn't he keep his wallet there?

"You know how the sales are about to start?"

No. Not that.

But the voice inside Ash's head was obviously silenced by the nodding of the boy's head.

"Well, I was hoping we could go down to the mall this weekend and go shopping!"

RUN WHILST YOU STILL CAN!

But Ash knew she would have locked the doors by now. Escape was futile.

"Oh it'll be fantastic! We'll visit all the stores a hundred times and use all that hard-earned money you've saved up from battling! We'll get handbags and jewelry and makeup and don't worry, I'm sure there will be something for you. Just as long as you carry all the bags!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"AGH!"

Ash woke with a start. Clenching the covers of his bed tightly, he looked left and right. No stoves in his room. No packets of Ramen lacking clear cooking instructions. No credit cards to melt. He was safe.

"Ashy?"

Or not.

He glanced to his right, his fear subsiding somewhat. May was curled up in her side of the bed. Sleepy eyes blinked tiredness away. Her hair was wrapped around her neck like a scarf. Her small lips resisted the urge to let loose a yawn.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her hazel orbs softening somewhat. That was not the look of an evil terror who would subject him to the horrors of ready-made meals and sales at a clothes store. That was the look of someone who would protect him from those nightmares.

A grin lit up Ash's face.

"I'm fine May," he whispered, his head slowly sinking back to his pillow, and his hand stretching out to meet hers.

"Everything's just fine."

He had a feeling he wouldn't be experiencing any more nightmares tonight.

Xannytoes: Sweet but crazy, amirite? Let me know what you thought in the reviews! Look forward to the next part coming soon! Until then, this is Xannytoes singing off. Take care!