Disclaimer: Devil May Cry and all of its characters belongs to Capcom.

Warnings: Language, Violence, Booze, Twincest, Blindfolds, Demon Sex, and Nero's Backstory That Capcom Pulled Out Of Their Ass (mPreg)

Mission Eleven:

Whips, Chains, and Cheap Shots

Vergil stood outside of the Bull's Eye, staring into his reflection in the window. He looked like Dante. Even though it shouldn't come as a surprise to him, since they were twins, but it never really occurred to him in many years how similar they were. It was mostly because Dante put so much effort into being different from his brother, and anything that reminded him of their father. Vergil cracked a devil-may-care smirk, at the Dante-like reflection, and flirted with it with his best impression of his idiot twin. "Hey babe, looking good. Name's Dante."

Vergil felt some of his insides wither a little. 'I don't think I can do this, but I must.' Vergil scowled, the reflection looking more like himself than the twin he was masquerading. 'That idiot brother of mine made me assume his identity all because he ashamed of his demon side and our demonic spawn! What does he think he's going to do? Hide like a coward from those who care about him, and unload his burden on someone else?' Vergil did a face palm as he realized how hypocritical he was being. Dante was a proud son of Sparda as well, and was just as loathe as Vergil himself was to bear the wound on his manly pride as becoming a mother. "I am such an idiot and worse... a hypocrite. I must go back to him, and apologize, before I make a greater imbecile of myself."

Vergil turned around and saw Lady and Trish staring slack-jawed at him. Lady cleared her throat. "You okay Dante?"

Vergil schooled his features into a Dante like grin. "Yeah, babe, I'm fine! Why you ask?"

Trish glanced at Lady, and looked back at Vergil. "Well, first you told Lady that you want to dress in drag, and throw a coming out party, and now you're spouting words we didn't think were in your vocabulary."

Lady looked at Vergil shrewdly, "Yeah, words like 'hypocrite', 'apologize', and 'imbecile'. What's going on Dante?"

Vergil looked like a deer in the headlights of an eight-wheeler. He knew Dante's friends were sharp. "Umm... wild night?"

Trish looked at him appraisingly, and then smiled warmly. "You screwed up with Gilver, didn't you? That didn't take long... geez Dante, you can be such a fuck up sometimes, but we love you anyway."

Lady grinned. "Tell us what you did, and we'll help you out."

Vergil sighed in relief. His masquerade was saved for now, he couldn't tell them the full truth but he could throw them a small kernel. "We got into a fight... about Nero, and other stuff."

Lady quirked an eyebrow. "Nero?"

Vergil looked away, slightly ashamed of himself for what he did to poor Nero. "Nero is my son."

Four eyebrows disappeared into hairlines. Lady, and Trish grabbed Vergil, and dragged the protesting son of Sparda into the Bull's Eye. Trish explained, "Come on Dante, you need a drink, a stiff one."

Lady groaned. "Hell, I need one too, Dante is a dad... Ugh... I can't think about that while sober." Lady then jabbed a finger into Vergil chest as she snarled at him. "You've got some explaining to do mister!"

Dante paced back and forth as he waited on Nero. Dante never thought he would be a father, he dreaded being a father. In fact he made damn sure he wouldn't accidentally become father. He ensured with every contraceptive method short of surgery, which thanks to his regenerative abilities would never work, that all of his hook-ups didn't get knocked up. Now he had to play the part of a father to his son, Nero, a result from the unholy union with his demonic twin brother about how demons have sex. Dante groaned, "This so fucked up on so many levels... It's a wonder the kid's taking it so well."

The door opened and the kid walked through looking like he's going to a funeral. He greeted Dante, a little awkwardly. "Hey, old man."

Dante smirked, feeling uncomfortable, but he wanted this talk over with. So he decided to rip the bandaid off. "Hey kid. So how's Kyrie?"

Nero looked up. "Told her you were my father. She said she wasn't surprised. Couldn't tell her about my mother, for obvious reasons." Nero pulled a face, like something particularly smelly was shoved under his nose. "Seriously, Dante? Your brother? Your twin brother?"

Dante snorted. "If your about to give me a talk about morals and that kind of shit, you can just shove it. Look at me!" Dante gestured to his own demon form that he was currently stuck in. "I'm not exactly normal, never was, and I stopped pretending over sixteen years ago when I found Vergil again in that nuthouse. We lost our chance to be normal the moment our mother gave birth to us."

Nero cocked his head. "So if you're embracing your demon side, why hunt demons? Why should I pretend to be human as well?"

Dante sighed. "Truthfully? Because we're neither demon nor human. I fight like a demon, and I fuck like one as well, but I love like a human, and cry like one. I started off hunting demons because my father, your grandfather, dumped his mess on his descendants, and every demon wanted a piece of my ass because dear old dad ain't around anymore to fight. Then I fought demons because it make me feel alive when I didn't want to live after Vergil's fall. Now I fight demons to protect the people I care about. But that isn't why your here. Though we fight demons, and live here in the human world, we ain't human, and we never will be. There's always going to be a demon inside of us, one demon that we will be fighting all of our lives if we don't learn how to live with it."

Nero looked down pensively at his demonic arm. "I wanna protect Kyrie, it's why I devil triggered, it's why I got this arm of mine. How am I going to protect her from me? I love Kyrie, and I don't want to hurt her, but I want to... well, you know..."

Dante stood up and picked a box, and dumped it at Nero's feet. Dante puffed up proudly. "Don't worry, kid, I came up with a solution to your dilemma. I had the same problem too a few years back when I first devil triggered. I put some poor girl from Love Planet in the hospital, and years of therapy. After that, I swore that would never happen again. So I got these from a special shop in Berlin to 'restrain' the demon inside of me. Since I've got Vergil now, I no longer need them, so I'll pass them onto you, my son."

Nero peered into the box excitedly. "What is it? Secret book of forgotten magic? A magic amulet made by Sparda? A-" Nero froze as he pulled out leather, handcuffs, chains, and a few ball gags. "German dungeon porn?! That's your solution!"

Dante looked affronted. "Hey these were made in the finest BDSM shop in all of Germany! I had these special ordered to withstand even my demonic strength. With you restrained, Kyrie can safely have her way with you at her own pace, and without getting injured."

Nero looked down at the BDSM gear with a second look. "This is my only option isn't it?"

Dante shook his head. "No there are others, you can be celibate until your demon blood has had enough, goes on a rampage, and get hunted down by hunters like Trish or Lady. Or you can try to find a strong enough demon that doesn't want to kill you for carrying the blood of Sparda like I did. I warn you, there's a very short list of those with Vergil and me making up that list. Even Trish had to use these on me, I've killed demonesses in the throws of passion on a few occasions, to be fair they all wanted to kill me."

Nero blanched. "So my only other options is either a short life of no sex ending with me going nuts or a nasty three way with my damn parents, who are brothers?" Nero shuddered, and took the box of bondage gear. "No thanks, I think I'll take the German dungeon porn option."

Dante teased Nero, pretending to look hurt. "Aww, why don't you want me? Aren't I pretty enough for you?" Dante batted his eyelashes at him.

Nero growled and pulled his gun on Dante. "I will shoot you in the face, old man!"

Dante laughed. "But if you kill me, Vergil will never want to screw you!"

Nero growled louder, and his eyes turned red as he devil triggered. Dante laughed, and threw up his hands in surrender. "Easy kid, I'm just pulling your leg!"

Nero relaxed and threw a smirk Dante's way. "No offense old man, but I'd rather have German dungeon sex with a nice normal girl that I'm not related to, than a crazy old geezer like you or the mummy."

Dante smiled, and gave Nero an affectionate slap on the shoulder. "Good choice, now let me show you how to use these." Dante pulled out the handcuffs. "Now these will be your most dangerous of toys since they can cut off circulation."

Nero swallowed nervously. "What did I get myself into?"

Vergil thought that since Dante did it all the time that it would be easy, but no, apparently there was more to drinking than chugging it back like a brain-dead gorilla in a red coat. He swayed back, and forth in his seat with the two ladies in front of him laughing, and snorting. They seem much nicer now after one or seven shots of bourbon. Vergil felt warm, and weird, and was that pink elephant floating by? The ringing voice of his not-mother caught his attention. "So Nero's mother was your prom date in high school named Virginia? I half expected her to be a prostitute."

Vergil giggled. "Yeah, that's what Dante called me! Nobody noticed it was me in drag! Dante couldn't get one girl in high school, so he turns to his favorite twin!"

Trish, and Lady gave him puzzled looks. Lady asked, "You mean, that's what Vergil called you, Right, Dante?"

Vergil giggled again, "Nope! I'm Vergil" He shushed them, "But don't tell anyone! It's a secret!"

Trish asked him, "Hey Dante, are you this drunk already? It usually takes twice this much to get you shit-faced."

Vergil giggled, and threw back another shot. "I'm fine, not-mom! I can take it! If that gorilla brother of mine can do it so can I!" Vergil thought of how bad he had treated his brother in the past, and how he abandoned Nero. He started crying. "I'm a horrible brother! I'm sorry, mom! I didn't take care of him!"

Trish, and Lady looked at each other worried. Lady took the bottle off the table. "Okay, Dante we're cutting you off."

Vergil tried to get up, but stumbled, and fell face flat on the floor, passed out drunk. Lady kicked him a little. He was out like a light. Lady was worried. "Trish, you don't think that Dante, our Dante, was Vergil all along, do you?"

Trish stared at Vergil, passed out on the floor. "I don't know. They were twins, so they could've switched... but when?"

Lady felt her insides grow cold. Dante was never the same after Mallet Island. "You said Dante fought Vergil on Mallet Island, right? Is it possible that Vergil was victorious, killed Dante under Mundus's control, and took his twin's identity as a way of redeeming himself?"

Trish shivered. "It's possible... I mean, Mundus said Vergil had failed, not that he was killed, but wouldn't he be able to tell the two apart?"

Lady paused. "Didn't this guy just say Nero's parents were Dante, and Vergil in drag?"

Trish shrugged. "I think that would be the bourbon talking. Whoever this guy is, he's our friend, and we shouldn't leave him on the floor."

Lady searched Vergil's pockets, and pulled out Dante's wallet, and paid Bobby, and pocketed some of it. "Dante still owes me money... So you wanna grab his feet and I'll get his arms?"

Trish took out her lipstick, and mascara, and looked at Vergil's unconcious body with a wicked gleam in her eyes. "Sure, but after we give him a makeover."

After giving Vergil a makeover, they dragged his unconscious body to the Devil May Cry. They stopped by a costume shop, and bought a Princess Aurora costume with his money. They spent ten minutes debating between Snow White or Sleeping Beauty, and settled on Aurora's blue dress since it matched his eyes. They gleefully stuffed him in it, and took lots of pictures. They carried the "Sleeping Beauty" to the couch, and dumped him on it with a note for Gilver in lipstick. They quickly snuck out when they heard movement upstairs, incorrectly assuming it was Gilver.

The real Dante was woken up at stupid O'clock in the morning from the sounds of his friends giggling, and drunk chortles. He felt like a douche for throwing Vergil to the dogs, or his friends in this case, but he was still angry the asshole got him knocked up, whether on purpose or by accident was a moot point. He went downstairs to see what they did to his twin. What he saw on the couch, he was not prepared for. His jaw fell slack. Vergil was in a powder blue Disney princess dress, complete with a shiny plastic tiara. "Is that lipstick? Holy shit Vergil's wearing make-up! Those girls did a fantastic job with his eyeshadow, too!"

He saw the folded note sticking out from under Vergil's rhinestone and powder blue silk bosom. Dante smiled when he saw it was written in Trish's lipstick. "Dear Gilver, I Dante, am really sorry for being a fuck-up. I love you, and I want you to kiss me awake."

Dante felt a warmth spread in his heart. Lady and Trish really did care about him, and they didn't hate Vergil or rather Gilver anymore. He took in the sight of his brother in drag, and kiss him on the lips. Vergil was out cold. Dante laughed, and scrambled looking for his camera. He wanted pictures of this to remember for years to come.

When Dante got the camera, he decided he didn't like the background of the couch, and decided to take Vergil up to their bed. After fooling around with lights, and background decorations, he remembered he had sexy costumes that Trish left behind, and never wore for reasons Dante could not fathom. Dante decided to play dress-up with Vergil. He ended up filling the camera up with Vergil in various poses on the bed, and many costumes that Vergil wouldn't be caught dead yet. Dante decided he was going to make it into a calender. Dante grinned. "I think this one of him in the leather bondage gear should be October, and the pink sexy nurse should be February!"

When Dante was done playing dress up with Vergil, he dressed him down to his birthday suit. Dante cleaned off the make-up, and any evidence of Dante playing Barbie with his twin. Dante settled next to Vergil, his naked bare skin, against his own demonic scaly hide. He felt Vergil cuddle up in his drunken slumber, and mumble, "M' sorry, Dante... I'm a bad brother...Stupid pride..."

Dante smiled, and kissed the top of Vergil's head. "It's okay, Vergil. I forgave you the moment you came back. Sweet dreams, Verge, because you are going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning."

Author's Note: Thanks to all the favorites and follows! The next update will be kinda slow since I'm working on the sequel to one of my other fics. As always, please read and review!