-a few years back-

I smiled as my lover leaned down from his seat on my lap, kissing me a few more times before he slowly stood to grab the wipes from the bathroom to clean up our wonderful mess. I studied every curve the sunlight kissed of his body as he moved, though he was not much bigger than I was, his body was beautiful and strong. I could not help but to watch him all the time, even though I knew it made him uncomfortable and shy.

After cleaning himself up quickly, he came back to the bed side, cleaning up what was left of him on my chest and stomach. I danced my fingers slowly over his thigh, "shouldn't I be the one taking care of you, my love?"

He kept going about his task. "Just because I bottom now and then Edd doesn't mean I need to be the one taken care of."

"I did not mean it as an insult, I love you, therefore it's only natural to want to take care of you."

No comment back, which was typical for whenever I said the word love around him. But tonight was our two year anniversary, we've been living together for over a year now, he said it to me once or twice before. It was something I never dug at usually, but I am human, and I can be selfish at times.

I sat up, taking his chin in my finger tips and kissing him softly. "I love you William."

"I heard you the first time."

I bit down on my lip, keeping myself some frowning, since William hated to see me frown. Though my attempts failed as I suppose my expression was still written all over my face. He let out a sigh, reaching out to brush the hair out of my face. "You know I feel the same way, Edd. I just don't see the point of saying it, it's just three silly words."

"I understand. As long as you feel the same way, I am happy with that."

"I wouldn't put up with you if I didn't." He kissed my cheek and stood up, grabbing his boxers and jeans from the floor and sliding them back on. "I'm going to go to Leo's after work tonight, alright?"

Did he forget?

"William, we had plans for our two year anniversary tonight."

I heard him let out a tsk as he bent down to grab his shirt before putting it back on. "I won't be long, he just needed me to help him with something." He looked over at the clock. "Guess it's too late for you to make us breakfast. I'll just pick something up on the way."

"Can it wait till tomorrow?" I want to be selfish...

"No Edd, it can't. I'll be an hour at most, okay?" He kissed me on the forehead before grabbing his wallet and phone that were on his nightstand. "I'll text you as much as possible and I'll run right over once I'm done, okay? Don't get too lonely without me."

Please let me be selfish...

I forced myself to smile as I nodded. "I shall hold you to that, my love." He gave me one last kiss before saying our goodbyes and him heading out the door.

I guess setting things back an hour would not be too bad.

But things can change.

After taking a much needed shower, I spent the day cleaning and organizing, as I do every Saturday morning. I then ran the few errands that needed to be done, by the time I arrived home it would be around an hour till William got out of work. Perfectly on schedule if he was not going to Leo's for another hour, though I would usually welcome the hour of relaxing, I began prepping anyway. Because tonight was important, it was the night of our second anniversary and the night I was going to ask William to be mine forever.

I took my time making dinner, and making sure everything looked perfect but not too overdone. William hates when things are overdone and corny. I looked down at my watch, he should be texting me about leaving Leo's soon. I set the table, lighting two tea-light candles in the middle, and placing a rose with a card in front of his usual spot at the table. I must admit, it was corny, but I hope tonight would make up for it.

I pulled my phone out, seeing that William sent a text saying he would be leaving soon. Perfect, everything is going as planned! Or at least as newly planned.

I went into the cleaning cabinet, the one place William would never look, and pulled a small ring box I had hidden behind some cleaning product containers. I smiled as I opened it, making sure the ring didn't need a final cleaning before tonight. It was a simple silver band with a small diamond in the middle; William likes simple things.

I looked back down at my watch before taking a seat at the table to wait for him. "If William left at the time he said he would, he should be here shortly."

I pulled out my phone, sending him a safe travels text and awaited him to return back home.

The house was silent and I felt myself fidgeting with my thumbs out of nerves and excitement.

10 minutes turned into 20, 20 turned into 40, 40 turned into hours. No calls, no texts, only silence.

I must have fallen asleep after an hour of waiting, for the next thing I knew, I was being woken up in a dark room. William was standing over me, his fingers running though my hair. "You're going to be sore if you sleep here babe."

It took me a moment to adjust to the darkness. The candles were completely burned out, the food was cold an unappealing, the brightness of my phone notified me that it was now almost 2 in the morning.

"Where were you?" I sat up, rubbing the sleep off my face.

"It took a little longer than I thought." William kept playing with my hair.

"You didn't even text me or answer my calls."

Lips pressed into mine, and unfamiliar scents flood into me. "You reek of alcohol and cheap cologne."

"May have had a drink or two." He kissed me again before looking over the table. "Is this what you had planned for tonight?"

I could now see a dark bruise that was hidden behind his ear. "Yes, for our anniversary." My fingers traced over the bruise, making William flinch some. "Where did you get that?"

"This morning, from you Edd."

"I never give you visible hickeys." My fingers pressed into the bruise, causing William to jump and grab his neck.

"Easy! You were a little wild this morning. Must have thought it was hidden enough, I don't know. You were the one that wanted to top and take control today."

"I suppose." I did not have the energy to start a fight tonight, and William must have caught onto that.

"Hey," he kissed me again. "I'm sorry for tonight, I'll make up for it tomorrow, okay? Come on, let's go to bed."

"I must clean up this mess first."

He nodded, knowing arguing against me cleaning was pointless. "Okay babe, I'll wait for you in bed. So hurry up."

I nodded, standing up and began cleaning up the table. William stood there for a moment, watching me before he turned to walk towards the bedroom. Before he was out of sight, he turned towards me. "Hey Edd." I looked his direction, but didn't say a word. He gave a small smile. "I love you."

I inhaled slowly, why did I feel happy but as if my heart was going to rip in two at the same time? "I love you too."

William smile grew some before heading to the bedroom, and I went about cleaning up. The food went straight into the trash, if I didn't have the little sense about me at this moment, the plates and silverware would be in the trash right along with it. I quickly rinsed them off and put them in the dishwasher, not to be bothered to clean them properly tonight. Once everything was cleared, I pulled the ring out of my pocket, giving it one last look over. It was a beautiful and simple ring, that was meant for a beautiful and simple man. Perhaps not this man though.

I dropped the ring in the trash with the rest of tonights memories I wish to bury and forget. I headed off to bed, ready for a new day that awaited after my night slumbers.

•••

I inhaled sharply as my eyes shot opened, the room was dark with only the street light dancing in through the blinds. It was only a dream. But why did I have to dream about that night?

I looked around the room, everything was still, only the fan hums broke the silence of the world. Though I could see the light from the street, I could tell it was still fairly dark out, leading me to believe it must have been the middle of the night.

I felt a shift in the bed next to me, catching my attention. I wasn't back in those years still, was I? I wasn't next to Will? No, these arms wrapping around me are too strong and comforting. He would never had held me so safely.

A kiss was placed against the back of my shoulder as a sleepy voice spoke against my neck. "Everything alright Edd? Did you have another nightmare?"

A sigh of relief I didn't realize I was holding escaped as I turned around in Kevin's arms to face him. My face nuzzled perfectly against his chest as his arms wrapped tightly around me to hold me close to him. This was something that happened often, usually do to me going to bed stressed and having stress dreams. Though Kevin teases me for overly stressing on things, he was always there to comfort me until I fell back to sleep in his arms.

Kevin's fingertips traced little circles along my back as he held me close. I wish we were able to hold one another like this for the rest of our lives. The comfort was easily enough for me to doze back to sleep and have beautiful dreams.

This time what awoke me was the familiar sound of my alarm and the sun now dancing across my eyes. I wasn't in the comforting warmth that held me as I slept anymore, Kevin wasn't even in bed with me, which gave it a lonely and cold feeling. The impression in the pillow that was now dedicated to him gave a slight warmth of happiness though.

I slowly rolled out of bed and began to get dressed for the day. With summer vacation coming near, each day, I'm guilty to admit, I was feeling slightly more sluggish with getting ready for work. Warm weather and vacation bearing brings the attention level of teenagers even lower than it normally is.

As my body and senses slowly woke up more, I could tell there was a hint of eggs and bacon starting to fill the air. The slug feeling quickly washed away as I peeled up, heading down the stairs to see my redhead. Though we were not living together, and Kevin would usually leave early in the morning to get ready at his apartment. The days that he stayed here to get ready were some of my favorite, and made my mornings all the more pleasant.

As I entered the kitchen, I saw my redhead busy at work, grabbing the two forks needed for the breakfast and pouring two mugs of coffee. I noticed he also took the time to pack lunches for us and had them neatly set aside on the counter. He was too good for me.

"Good morning, darling."

Kevin spun around and smiled so big and lovingly. "Morning babe! Slept better?"

I nodded, popping my collar up to put on my tie. "I did, thank you. I apologize for waking you up in the middle of the night once again."

Kevin wiped his hands on the kitchen towel before leaving what he was doing behind to come up to me and began taking it upon himself to put on my tie. "Nothing to apologize for." He kissed me as he finished placing my tie straight and putting the collar of my shirt down. "I hope you're hungry, I made a little too much. I also got our lunches together, so you don't have to worry about that. Take your time this morning."

"You do too much for me, my love."

Kevin shrugged. "You do a lot of shit for me, I do a lot of shit for you. That's what happens in relationships, babe."

"Must you use that word for explaining something that's rather sweet?"

"Yup." He sported a cocky grin that was infuriating and yet extremely adorable.

I knew it was a one sided, silly battle if I kept bringing up his choice of words, so I decided to just let it be and enjoy our morning together. Our morning of eating breakfast together, cleaning up together, and driving to work together.

We always did everything together.

As we arrived at the school, I grabbed Kevin's hand before he could open his door. I don't know where this boldness came from, but I want to do everything together. I don't want to be apart for more than we have to be. "Kevin, would you want to move in with me?"

A look of shock came across his face. But it wasn't of fear like I've witnessed before in the passed, he was just taken by surprise. "Are you sure, Edd?"

I nodded quickly. "Yes. We're almost living together anyway, and I dread you going back to your apartment." My words came out quicker than I could process my thoughts, and once I realized what I said, I blushed deeply. "Oh dear, I'm sorry if I'm being pushy and making you uncomfortable! It's all up to you of course!"

Kevin kissed me, chuckling lightly to himself. "You better help me pack then."

"I would be delighted to."