E-mails

Dear, Jack

I know I don't have the right to ask you this, but I will, because I need to know where I stand after Lisa.

I know I hurt you, but it wasn't my intention. I just wanted Lisa back, and I knew that Torchwood Three was the best place to take her to do that.

I won't lie to you - I read up on you - you're well known, you see. Torchwood One had a very large file on you. It was sent there in 2000, after Alex killed everyone and then himself. It also seems that you weren't their first choice as head of Torchwood Three. Some prick called Anthony Reynolds [excuse my French, but I know him] But he had a very bad drink problem, it turns out. He almost drank himself into the ground, and certainly out of a job. But he managed to kept that hidden well for a while.

I fell hook, line and sinker for you that night in the warehouse. I was glad Myfanwy nearly fell on us. God! I wanted to kiss you! Could you tell? When you gave me the job, I cried. Not because I might get Lisa back, but because I'd have to deceive you. And when we became - what - intimate, shall we say, I felt even harder for you. Buy it was difficult for me hiding my feelings I felt guilty for betraying Lisa, sleeping with you. Even more guilty for betraying you, when I was with Lisa. I felt like I had nowhere to turn.

Looking back, I know should have trusted you. But in the end, you exactly did what I thought you'd do - you killed her. I don't blame you. You were right. I was just prolonging her pain…MY pain. So I should thank you, I suppose.

But oh, how I miss what we had, even if it was just sex for you. It meant more than sex to me and I want that back. I miss what we could have had. Miss your single bed. The bunker. Your coat. But above all, I miss YOU ;-(

I said in the beginning, I had no right to ask, but I do need to. I love you, Jack. There, I've said it. I love you and I want to be in your arms…in your life.

Just think about it, okay? Give me a second chance. I won't let you down again. I promise. I won't ask for anything that you are not willing to give in return. Just be there for me.

Thanks
Ianto Jones

Ianto,
It's true, I did fell betrayed. I thought we had something special but it was built on deceit and lies. I was angry and hurt, but you were right. I never took the time to know you, as a man.

You were never just there for sex. Let's get that out of the way right off the bat.. Whatever Owen might say, you are not my office shag! Never was. Never will be.

It'll take a while before I trust you fully again, but we have something we can start to build on - I still want you in my life.

After you've read this, please bring me coffee in my favorite mug and give me one of your sexy smiles. I'll know you understand this reply then.

I miss you, too.
Jack