Well, we have reached the end of this story. But only this part of it, because I've already got enough ideas to continue. I can't let these guys go yet. I love to write about them. Unfortunately, due to illness, this chapter took a bit longer to write. Besides, it's always difficult to wrap a story up. I'm always afraid I'll forget something or mess it up.

Thanks for all the reviews! I've loved getting those. Yes, telling me you "LOVE this story" is a huge thing, so thanks for that too! There were some questions from guest reviewers wanting to know if I could let them know when this would be up. Problem is, it is against the rules to use a chapter for an author's note (even if some people do it), so I couldn't do that, and I can't reply to a guest in person either. So I'm sorry I couldn't do anything with that.

This one is a little sentimental, but come on, it's Christmas…..right? Hope you'll all enjoy this!

Chapter 28

"Adam, can I go now?"

"Did you finish all your chores?" Adam gave Evan a hard look, but the boy just returned it with innocent eyes.

"Course I did!"

"Well, sure then…" Before Adam finished speaking the boy had already taken off. It didn't surprise Adam that his destination was the barn. Diablo would get a full afternoon of attention. The oldest McFadden sighed. There was so much to do and he could use their help, but how could he keep the kids from being kids? He couldn't. Dad had always managed to allow them time to play, so he could too. And he would. Of course, under normal circumstances, Crane would be a big help the next two weeks, but now he'd have to do without the extra pair of hands. He would hand out the punishment again if he was faced with that decision today, but he had to admit he wished it hadn't been necessary. For more than one reason.

"Adam?"

"Yes, Ford? You want to go and play too?"

"Yeah, can I?"

"May I…sure, as long as your chores are done."

And off the next one was. Adam took his own coat off the coat rack and shouldered into it. Just as he opened the door Guthrie ran past him. The boy was fast, but not so fast that Adam couldn't grab him by the collar. The collar of his shirt, mind you, not his coat. That particular garment was noticeably absent. "Where's your coat?"

Guthrie shrugged, "Upstairs…I think."

"I suggest you start looking and put it on or you're not going outside. It's freezing, buddy." Adam didn't let go of the boy's collar though, "And is your part of the room tidy? Are all those clothes you like to leave on the floor picked up and taken to the laundry room?"

"Aw Adam…"

"I take it that means no."

"It's sort of tidy..."

"You hardly ever even sleep in there despite the perfectly fine bed, so how on earth do you manage to get it so messy?"

Another shrug, "I dunno, it just happens."

"Well, you can march yourself right back upstairs and clean it. And put the laundry away. And then you can go outside."

"But, Adam, I have to…" The boy stopped talking as if he was about to say something he shouldn't. It immediately raised Adam's suspicion.

"You had better not be up to any mischief."

"I'm not, Adam. Honest, I'm not."

Adam closed his eyes, for fear of rolling them. When would they learn not to add honest when they were anything but honest? "Up." He let go of Guthrie's collar only to give him a little push back inside. The boy looked at him over his shoulder in a last attempt, but with a firm pat to the backside he was sent in and he went.

"I never get to have any fun!"

"You can have all the fun you want….after you're done." After watching the 8-year-old trudge back up the stairs as if he was walking to the gallows, Adam glanced over at the sofa where Crane and Daniel were talking. Although whispering was a more fitting verb. "And why are you two being so secretive?"

"We're not secretive, Adam," Daniel protested.

"Well, you're whispering, so you clearly don't want me to hear."

"We just don't want to wake up Brian."

At Daniel's words Adam glanced at the sleeping figure, sprawled out on the pull-out sofa. He'd almost forgotten. Which was a miracle with the alcohol-induced snoring. "It's about time Brian gets up and at it. It may be a school holiday, but he's not in school and even if he was, this is a working ranch. There's work to be done."

"He got in late," Crane was quick to defend his other older brother.

Adam snorted, "Yeah, I know. I heard." Then he looked at Daniel, "So? Are you going to ask me if you can go off as well?" He saw the hesitation and realized, "You don't want to because Crane is grounded."

"Well, about that," Crane started softly. "I was wondering…"

"I think I've been generous enough, kiddo," Adam used his fingers to count off, "I let you go to the concert. I even let you go off with the boys for that surprise thing. You can't seriously be about to ask me to be allowed yet another thing that goes against your grounding."

"Not really."

"Good, glad we got that clear."

"I was just wondering about the exact boundaries…."

"We went over that: house and yard."

"I know…but the barn is in the yard…."

"As long as you're not mucking out stalls or doing any other work in there…OR saddle up for a ride…the barn is not off limits."

Crane's face split into a big grin that matched Daniel's smile, "I just wanted to make sure. Then I'll go to the barn with Daniel."

"Didn't I see Ford go to the barn as well? And Evan's there…what's going in the barn?"

"Lots of things, Adam," Daniel grinned as he grabbed his coat and Crane's. "We just want to hang out for a bit."

"Hmmm," Adam wasn't sure he liked this, but he'd said the barn wasn't off limits and he'd already told everyone they had time to themselves after their chores were done, he couldn't think of an objection now. "But I want you back in here in two hours, Crane. You're grounded to teach you you have only one job right now: that of student. So I want you in here studying."

"I'll be back…" Not that Crane had any idea what to study. He'd already finished all his exams and had no idea what his assignments were for the next semester, or which parts of the assigned books he had to study, even with all of them here since Adam had made him bring home everything. Well, there was literature. Maybe.

Adam watched the two take off and turned around to look at the sleeping figure again. For a moment he debated whether or not to rudely wake his brother up, but ultimately he decided against it. Brian had come home late and if Adam was honest, he knew that Brian always made up lost time. He certainly was no slacker. So the oldest turned back around and walked out himself. He really had no reason to go into the barn, but he was sorely tempted.

He chuckled and admitted that he was simply extremely curious. There was always a bit of a buzz around Christmas, people quickly closing doors when others appeared, or hiding things when you stepped into a room. But it was different this year. Bigger. He'd have to patiently wait and see. He wasn't a very patient man, that was the problem. Well, there was work to be done. The jeep had been acting up a little and they needed both their vehicles working. And they certainly couldn't afford to replace one. So he'd have to find the problem and fix it. If he couldn't, they'd be in a world of trouble. So he went outside and headed over to the jeep.

Suddenly the barn door opened and Ford came running out. The boy disappeared into the house, only to reappear a few minutes later, clearly hiding something under his coat. Adam was puzzled for a moment, but then focused on his own problems.

A few minutes later Daniel came running out. It was almost a repeat of Ford's action, aside from the fact that he came out with a box and disappeared back into the barn. The only sound coming from the barn that reached Adam's ears was the occasional sound of hammering. A few times, Adam was tempted to walk over to the barn, but he managed to restrain himself.

"Hey partner!"

Startled, Adam looked up, "Well, about time you dragged your butt out of bed."

"Hey, don't start like that. I had a rough night." Brian drank the last of his coffee and stepped off the porch.

"Ooohhh is that what they call it nowadays? Who was it this time?" Adam laughed, but kicked himself when he noticed the look on Brian's face. It only lasted a moment, but Adam noticed it this time and Crane's words from the previous night came back to him. They were all still hurting. It had been six years, but they all had scars. Some just hid them better than others. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to say that."

"It's fine, Adam. But it wasn't a girl. Well, it was, but not the way you think it was."

"You don't owe me an explanation, Brian, you're an adult. You have your own life."

Brian shrugged, "Yeah, I do, but that life's here and we both know it. I just had to help a friend who was in a bad spot. Call it a bad break-up."

"If you want to talk about it…"

"Nah, did more than enough talking last night. Finally had her calmed down at 3 and then I still had to get home. But don't worry, I'll get the work done." Brian turned around to get to work, but found himself be grabbed by the arm.

"Brian, will you please stop that?" Adam looked his younger brother in the eye, "I know I jump to conclusions a lot, but give me some credit. I know you never slack. You always work as hard as the rest of us, harder even. So I'm not worried. I'm just glad you could help a friend."

"Thanks…and sorry," Brian shook his head, "Your bad habits are rubbing off on me, man, not the first time this week that I jump to conclusions myself. Didn't mean to get so defensive."

"You just didn't get enough sleep."

"Noop. I'll try to get an early night tonight."

"Sounds like a good idea."

"Well, I'd better get to it…." Brian started walking off, but turned around, "Was it my imagination or did the boys keep going in and out the last hour?"

"You weren't dreaming," Adam glanced in the direction of the barn again, "They're hiding in there and for a while they kept running back to the house and coming back out hiding something."

"And is that hammering?" Brian looked puzzled.

"Yup, it is. Has been going on for a while too. I swear they're playing with us, Bri. They're just messing with us."

"Could be…." Brian looked at the barn for a few long moments and then shrugged, "Got work to do. All will be revealed soon enough anyway. And if it's mischief….well, that, too, will be revealed I'm sure. It always does."

"True." Adam bent over the motor again, "I'd best get on with this."

"Can you fix it?"

"Yeah, it'll take some time, but I can. Thank God."

"No kidding."

As Brian walked off, Adam bent back over the motor again. He almost lost track of time, but he did notice that the hammering sound had stopped and shortly after the barn door opened and Crane stepped out, carrying a box. Adam looked at his watch and smiled. Two hours on the dot.

"Have you thought about what you're going to work on the rest of the afternoon?"

Crane shrugged, "Only thing I can really do right now is read for literature. It's a long list for a course that doesn't give me all that much credit, so if I get the reading out of the way now, it'll buy me time during the semester."

"Sounds like a good idea," Adam closed the hood. "I just finished here and was about to get a cup of coffee, so I'll come in with you."

"You don't have to check up on me, you know."

"Well, not to rub it in, but you haven't exactly done anything to earn back some trust," Crane dropped his gaze at those words to hide his emotions, "but that's not why I'm coming in. I haven't had a cup of coffee since breakfast!"

"Okay," Crane wasn't sure, but he decided to believe it. He hated the fact that he didn't have his brother's trust. How easily he'd lost it. And how hard it would be to regain it.

Adam opened the door and let Crane pass, "Why don't you get your book and keep me company while you're reading. I've got a lot to do here."

Crane bit his tongue knowing exactly why Adam was staying inside, "I'll be right back." He ran up the stairs, two steps at the time, and put the box under his bed for the time being. He couldn't put it back where it belonged, not with Adam in the house. A few minutes later he came back down with his novel and settled on the sofa, finding a fresh cup of coffee waiting for him.

"One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?" Adam raised an eyebrow and stopped sorting laundry for a second to take a sip of his coffee, "Do they teach that at Davis?"

"Well, it IS college," Crane reminded him, "Not high school." Their high school had banned the book a few years ago after complaints from parents. "Apparently, we're old enough now to decide for ourselves whether it's a good novel or not."

"Well, I never did agree with censorship, but keep it away from your brothers. I don't want any of them to read that kind of language yet."

"Have you ever read it?" Crane looked up, trying not to sound like he was challenging his brother.

Adam laughed, "Hey, I did say I never did agree with censorship, didn't I?"

"So you got a copy and read it without anyone knowing?" For some reason, Crane still had trouble picturing Adam going behind their parents backs, even though he knew Adam had been in his own share of trouble as a kid.

Adam grinned, "Didn't have to. Dad didn't believe in censorship either. He did believe in guided reading though and so he made sure to discuss it with me when I'd read it."

"Wow."

"Yeah, I know. Pretty amazing." Adam went back to folding. "And I'd love to hear what you think about it. Just…"

"Just when the others are in bed or not around."

"Right," Adam nodded and picked up another towel, "I meant it: make sure they don't get it in their hands. They're a bit too young to be exposed to this. And I don't just mean the language."

"Don't worry."

"You're asking for the impossible, kid."

Crane chuckled, "Yeah I know. Should have said: I will." He grew more serious, "It's hard though, Adam. 'I will' is like a promise and I try not to make those right now, knowing what I did. So I don't really know what to say."

Adam wished he could ease Crane's mind, but especially Brian was allergic for the word 'promise' now and he couldn't blame the man. "Just show us then. Say you will and do it. You'll find it growing in meaning for us."

"Okay…" Crane sighed, "I know it will take time."

"It will, but it's not the end of the world, kiddo. It may feel like it, but it's not.

"I know."

And with that, quiet fell over the house as Crane started reading and Adam silently folded clothes, started another load of laundry, put a roast in the oven since it was his job to cook with Brian out on the ranch, and then settled at the desk to do the books. They actually had a peaceful afternoon and both got a lot done. Even though Crane would have preferred to be out helping Brian or take over doing the books from Adam, he had to admit that this bought him hours of valuable time later in the semester. He'd even written down notes on what he'd read to review later on.

On Sunday, the only difference from Saturday's pattern was a trip to town to go to church. As usual, afterwards, they all visited with friends for a bit. Crane finally got to meet Emily as Adam and Brian introduced him while the younger boys were playing. Or rather, Adam and Brian thought they were playing. Instead, they were on a secret mission to meet up with Chuck and collect the photo he had taken at the concert of all five youngest McFaddens. It was the final piece they needed for their Christmas present. They were so excited they could barely wait!

Monday, they spent most of the day in the kitchen. Christmas wasn't Christmas without cookies and squares. And eggnog. You had to have eggnog. Of course, there'd be a special batch after dad's own special recipe. They were the only ones who'd actually gotten to taste it before that fateful night they lost their parents. Dad had allowed them a taste when they turned sixteen, which of course, meant that Adam had been the first to try it. Much to dad's amusement the experiment had caused a coughing fit.

But despite his initial reaction to dad's concoction, Adam still had a cup of it every Christmas. Throughout the year, all the alcohol they had was the occasional beer, but at Christmas the locked cabinet that contained Dad's whiskey was opened to make a small batch just for the two of them. Well, three of them by now as Crane had been included in the tradition when he'd turned sixteen. Crane actually liked it best of all three of them. Adam and Brian were more beer-guys, but Crane had taken after dad when it came to alcohol. Not that he indulged often. Not just because it was illegal, but mostly because it was expensive. And at home, they simply dreaded the day they had to use the last of dad's whiskey. Eggnog would never be the same again, even if they used the same brand.

But eggnog was not the only thing made that day. After taking the turkey out of the freezer Brian's focus was on cookies. Cookies. And more cookies. With all those kids and teenagers in the house there was no escape from baking. Not that Brian was very good at baking. Baking required following recipes to the letter and Brian was more the type to just guess and see how it turned out. But he had such fond memories of making cookies with mom at Christmas time (or other times of the year) that he wanted the same experience for his brothers. The only thing he could make was rocky road squares, but that just involved melting and stirring, it wasn't really baking at all.

No, he wanted the boys to cut cookies and bake them and then decorate. And so the first Christmas after their deaths, he'd gone for some expert advice . Of course, there had been no shortage of people willing to help him. Although some might miss the opportunity to bring cookies over for the little ones. But between some friends of their parents and Marie from the diner, not to mention his home economics' teacher, Brian had finally mastered the fine art of cookie baking. Six years later he had become quite the expert at it.

"Brian, can I put marshmallows in my chocolate?"

"The marshmallows are for the squares, Guthrie," Daniel answered in Brian's place.

"But there's loads of them!" The young boy wasn't giving up that easily.

To an outsider it might look like the McFaddens were just creating a mess in the kitchen. There didn't seem to be any structure or organization, but if you looked more closely, every boy knew exactly what he was doing. Each had their specific task. Every item had its own spot. And it worked. It worked for them. Since Daniel loved Rocky Roads he was melting chocolate at the stove. Adam was mixing the third batch of dough while Evan was rolling out the second batch with the wooden rolling pin their mom had used for years. In the meantime, Ford and Guthrie were fighting over the cookie cutters they wanted to use. And Brian? Well, Brian supervised. And he made sure there was a constant supply of hot chocolate. And hot chocolate wasn't complete without marshmallows.

"I'm sure there will be more than enough left, Daniel," Brian said soothingly.

Daniel eyed the bag of marshmallows. "I guess…."

"Oh go on…I've got another bag in the pantry." Brian couldn't resist.

"You're a softy," Crane remarked. The boy wasn't on the sofa studying this time. Instead, he was making frosting. The first batch was about to go into the oven and it wouldn't take long for the cookies to bake.

"Why is it okay for Crane to help bake but not muck out the stalls?" Guthrie liberally added marshmallows to his chocolate.

"Cause this isn't work. This is family time," Adam took Guthrie's hand when the boy reached for the marshmallows again. "That's enough for this mug, buddy."

"How about chopping veggies for dinner then?" Guthrie placed another cookie on the tray. "He couldn't do that either last night."

"I think you know the difference, Guth," Adam kept the boy's gaze and Guthrie nodded.

"Don't you want me helping, Guth?" Crane grinned at the youngest brother as he popped a piece of dough in his mouth. "Afraid I'll eat all the cookie dough?"

"Cookie dough's bad for you," Brian pointed out, but he knew it was a battle he wouldn't win because Adam was the worst for eating the dough.

"If it's so bad for you, it shouldn't taste this good," Daniel had finished melting the chocolate and was now stirring in nuts and marshmallows.

"Exactly!" Adam agreed and took a piece himself.

Brian rolled his eyes, "Just leave enough for the cookies!" He may have sounded gruff, but he was enjoying himself immensely.

And as soon as the first batch of cookies was done, it became a struggle to refrain from eating them long enough to actually decorate them. Surprisingly, Guthrie was the only one who managed not to eat a single cookie before it was decorated, but that may have been because he loved decorated them. He loved to drizzle frosting on them and using all sorts of sweets to make them even more fun: sprinkles, tiny pieces of licorice, more marshmallows and other pieces of candy.

Ford, too, was enjoying the decorating process, but unlike his younger brother, he took more time and was turning them into little pieces of art. Evan, on the other hand, just drizzled some frosting on them, added sprinkles…and ate them.

Looking around, Adam found it interesting how each of their personalities came out in this simple process of cookie making. But no matter how they did it, they all enjoyed this time spent together.

After all those cookies, and Brian and Adam did limit the amount of cookies that could be eaten, they had a light supper. By then, the younger boys were getting too excited to eat anyway. Adam feared they were also too excited to sleep. Turned out, he was right. But then, it didn't take a rocket scientist to predict that.

For once, there were no objections when bedtime arrived. Even Daniel, who was the worst at protesting his bedtime, went up to bed before Adam had to remind him. Each of them eager to place their small gifts under the tree before heading up.

"Just that they're going up, doesn't mean they'll sleep," Crane laughed, "You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah, but I can enjoy it while it lasts," Adam sipped his eggnog. "Sure is good."

"Dad had good taste."

Adam nodded at Brian, "Yeah, he did."

"Well," Crane got up, "I'd better head up too."

"It's still early," Brian remarked, "Have a bit of eggnog."

"Early?" Crane laughed, "I've been in bed at 9 since I got home."

"Well, that's true," Brian glanced at Adam. "Was that part of the grounding?"

Adam shrugged, "Well, early, but not quite that early. I just figured he could use a few early nights. I may not have been to college, but I can imagine you don't get much sleep when you're studying for finals while also planning illegal activities."

Crane blushed, "Yeah, I didn't get too much sleep."

"And now you feel more rested. Right?"

Crane couldn't help but agree, "I do. You were right. But, Adam, I would have gotten the rest even without you sending me to bed."

"Maybe, but it's my job to look out for you."

Brian smiled as he watched realization dawn on 'their oldest' face. "Well, now that we've established Adam was doing what Adam does best, which is taking care of his brothers, have an eggnog, sit with us for a bit. You can get me another one while you're at it. And I'll go up and see how many of those rug rats are still awake. At least Guthrie and Ford should be asleep by now."

"Wishful thinking," Crane grinned as he walked to the kitchen carrying Adam and Brian's cups, "Three eggnog coming up."

As Brian neared the door to the room Evan, Ford and Guthrie shared, even if Guthrie hardly ever really slept a full night in it, he could see the light underneath the door. He made sure to make his footsteps heard and wasn't disappointed when the light was suddenly turned off. When he stepped into the room, all three boys were under their blankets with their eyes closed. Amazingly enough they didn't realize that their breathing always gave them away. A sleeping boy simply sounded different. Not that he would tell them. That knowledge was far too valuable to share.

So he sat down on Guthrie's bed and stroked the boy's hair out of his face as he whispered. "Sleep tight, little man." He leaned over him and kissed him on the forehead.

"Briiiian…." Guthrie opened his eyes, "Don't you think I'm getting too old to be kissed goodnight?"

Oh not him too, Brian thought, but he didn't voice that. Instead he shook his head, "I thought you were asleep. You fooled me there." It made Guthrie grin. "But I don't think so, buddy. Not as long as I'm your big brother."

"Oh boy," Guthrie groaned, "That means never."

From the other side of the room Evan laughed, "Yeah, that means never, Guth, better get used to it. These two are as soppy as can be."

"Hmmm soppy am I?" Brian got up and walked over to Evan. He knew better than to start tickling him now, but there were other ways. He pulled up Evan's blanket and tucked him in tightly before covering the teenager's head with kisses, "That'll teach you."

"Bleh!" Evan pulled a face, but in all honesty, he didn't truly mind. "Just don't do that in front of other people."

"I'd never."

While Evan struggled free from the restraints of the blanket, Brian moved to Ford. Ford was the groggiest of the three, but he had opened his eyes too, "I won't be able to sleep at all, Brian."

"Sure you won't," Brian agreed softly and tucked him in, "Maybe you should give it a good go, hmm? Just close your eyes and breath deep and before you'll know it, it will be morning."

"You sure?"

"Positive, buddy, couldn't be more sure." Brian brushed Ford's cheek, "And then in the morning we'll see if Santa came tonight."

"There is no Santa," Guthrie's voice sounded like he was halfway to dreamland already, but he was clearly still listening.

"There'll be presents, nonetheless," Brian smiled. "Now….you also know he won't come if you don't go to sleep, right?"

"You mean, still? Even though I know it's you and Adam?" Guthrie had thought all those rules didn't count anymore now that he knew the big secret.

"Oh that is a Christmas rule that's been around for ages. So you'd better not risk it and just go to sleep."

Brian tiptoed out of the room, checked on Daniel as well only to find him reading and promising to turn off the light in 15 minutes, and then returned downstairs for some down-time with eggnog and the two brothers closest to him in age. But it didn't take long before even the three oldest McFaddens were ready for bed and after they quickly cleared away their dishes, they got the presents from their hiding places and placed them under the tree. If either of the oldest two were surprised at the big package Crane dragged inside from the barn, they kept it to themselves and Crane wasn't giving anything away either. When they were satisfied everything was in place, the three of them went to bed.

Adam and Brian were always the last up Christmas morning. Only on Christmas morning, mind you. Usually, at least one of them was up before the rest. But on Christmas morning it was the other way around. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't Guthrie who was up first. Usually, that honor was Evan's. Adam could remember mom complaining they should have kept the little boy in his crib longer because as soon as he was in a big boy bed he crawled out. Not that the family didn't rise early as it was, it was a ranch after all, and that meant their day started earlier than most people's. But little Evan had them all beat. That is, until his teenage years hit. It seemed from one day to the other, all of a sudden Evan had taken to sleeping as late as he could get away with. All of a sudden he had to be pretty much dragged out of bed. But not at Christmas. Come Christmas morning, Evan turned back into his pre-teenage self and was up before the rest of the family.

Quietly he slipped out of the bedroom and tiptoed down the stairs. At the bottom step he halted and admired the pile of gifts under the tree. It was a sizeable one, he had to admit, even if you didn't count the big package Crane had added on behalf of all of them. Forgetting his ripe old age of thirteen, Evan got on his knees in front of the tree and studied the different gifts, trying to figure out what was what. And for who the present was. But the sizes and shapes were mostly just squares and rectangles. Not much to be made of that. He did think he saw one book, but that wouldn't be for him, he was sure of that. His brothers wouldn't be that cruel. And then there was a very tiny box. If there'd been girls in the house he'd have thought it was some kind of jewelry.

"And what do you think you're doing, young man?"

Evan nearly jumped. "Brian! It's not nice to sneak up on someone like that."

"Sneak up?" Brian laughed, "I didn't even move from the warmth of my bed. I think someone has a guilty conscience."

"I didn't touch anything!"

"Hmm I should hope so. Or we might have to break tradition here after all, and replace the content of your stocking with a switch."

Evan pulled a disgusted face, "You shouldn't be mean on Christmas."

Brian patted the bed, "Come here, bud, it's far too early to get into this type of banter."

"Can't we wake up the rest?" Slowly Evan sat down on the pull-out sofa next to Brian.

"Did you look at the time?" Brian pointedly looked at the grandfather clock that indicated it was only 5am.

"Oh…" Evan's face fell, "I thought it'd be later."

"Clock doesn't lie."

"I guess not." It didn't enter Evan's mind that you could actually change the time on the clock. That was so sneaky none of them would do it.

"Of course, we could get up, put some warm clothes on and get the animals taken care of. That way we're all ready when the rest gets up."

Now, normally, Evan would balk at the idea of having to go out and do everyone's chores for them, but in this case he saw the benefits. And sometimes, he had to admit, it was nice to do some work with one of his oldest brothers. It felt special. "Sure." He jumped up and was about to run upstairs to get dressed when Brian stopped him.

"You'll wake everyone up. Let's just get something from the laundry room. Doesn't matter if it's not clean, it won't stay that way anyway."

"That's smart, Brian."

"Nah that's just being practical."

By the time the two of them returned to the house Adam was in the kitchen making coffee and cocoa. As usual on Christmas, breakfast would wait until all the presents had been unwrapped. The first few years, mom had tried to get them to have breakfast first, but dad, who was usually her ally, had not helped her one bit. She'd lost the battle and neither Brian nor Adam could even remember having breakfast first.

"That was nice of you two, to get the chores done."

"Just being practical, Adam," Evan shrugged as he parroted Brian who just laughed.

"I'll go and make my bed."

"Already done," It was Adam's turn to grin. "And just a warning, the troops are about to come storming down. I already had two down, but sent them back up to put on sweaters."

Just at that moment the remaining McFaddens came running down the stairs, Guthrie up front and Crane taking up the rear.

"Brian! It's Christmas!" Guthrie was practically bouncing.

"Yes, it is, little man," With one swoop Guthrie was up in the air and over Brian's shoulder. "And I've caught my first present. And a good one it is."

"I'm not a present, silly!" Guthrie giggled.

"Sure?" Brian stopped and pretended to think, "Well, I guess you're not. But where are my presents then?"

"Under the tree….look!"

"Well, golly, you're right!" Brian ceremoniously dumped the youngest brother on the sofa and walked over to the tree. "I'd better start opening then."

"You can't, Brian!" It was Ford's turn to protest. "We don't have coffee and cocoa yet."

"And cookies!" Guthrie added.

"And even if we did," Daniel added, while Crane sat down on the sofa and pulled Guthrie over on his lap, "You can't just go and unwrap everything."

"Why not?"

"It's not all yours, silly." Guthrie snuggled with Crane while shaking his head.

"Well dang, another dream destroyed." Brian put on his best disappointed look, pouting lip and all. "So what do we do then?"

"Adam says which of us can pick the first present. Then that person picks, reads the tag and hands it out. Then that person picks the next present and so on."

No one was able to keep a straight face as Guthrie explained the process to Brian when it should have been perfectly clear Brian was well aware of it, after over two decades.

"Well, ADAM! We're waiting!" Brian shouted.

"No need to shout," Adam scolded as he came into the room carrying a tray of mugs, "I'm right here. Now," he put the tray down, but aside from Brian and Adam himself no one was interested much in the mugs yet. "I guess I have a duty to perform." He put his hand over his eyes, pointed and turned around twice before stopping. As he opened his eyes his finger pointed at Evan.

"YES!" Evan dove for the pile and picked out the first gift. "Crane….I bet this is a book, Crane. I bet it is."

"We'll see, Ev," Crane carefully opened the present, "Stephen King…" He read the title, "The Stand…someone must have thought a bit of light reading amongst all these literary works was in order." He grinned. "And someone knows I like a scary novel."

"You really like it, Crane?" Daniel's question gave it away. The younger boys didn't buy expensive presents for every brother, but they all got one brother a bigger gift and Daniel was only happy to give Crane something his brother really liked. Even if it had been more expensive than he'd counted on. All other brothers had to make do with very small gifts. But those were fine too.

"I love it, Danny!" Crane looked at the pile and picked the next one. It was for all of them and Guthrie got the honor of revealing the board game Clue.

"I figured we could have fun with that…" Brian smiled.

Slowly the pile of opened gifts grew while that of the unopened ones slunk. Sweaters and shirts and socks were staple gifts, but still appreciated. But they'd be liars if they didn't appreciate the other gifts more: books, a guitar pick (explaining the tiny package Evan had spotted), a blanket for Diablo (after which Adam practically had to force Evan to stay inside), a new wallet for Brian whose wallet was falling apart, a Lego box for Guthrie, a toy plane for Ford, everyone got something practical and something fun, Adam and Brian had made sure of that. And of course, their aunt had sent some presents for everyone as well, although they all dreaded her horrible and scratchy knitted sweaters that she made at least one of them each year. This year was Brian's turn and with a big sigh he put it on.

But throughout it all everyone kept eyeing the big package, yet no one picked it. Adam and Brian were bursting with curiosity, but didn't want to be the ones to pick it figuring it was for them. And the boys, although they could hardly contain their excitement, were all waiting for someone else to pick it. Finally, it was the last present under the tree and it was Guthrie's turn to pick.

The young boy looked at his brothers, "Can we finally give this now?"

The others laughed, "I think we should, Guth," Crane laughed. "Don't know why we didn't give it straightaway. I mean, we're dying to see their reactions."

"Yeah!" Daniel nodded emphatically. "Need help, Guthrie?" The two boys lifted the item and brought it over to Brian and Adam. "This is from all of us for you both."

"So you gotta open it together," Guthrie insisted.

"Oh...okay…together," Adam grinned at Brian and then the two of them simply ripped the paper off. Later they might have wondered why they didn't keep the boys on their toes for a few more moments, carefully opening the present as slowly as possible. But at that point in time, they had turned into 5-year-olds at Christmas and the present needed to be unwrapped…NOW.

"Ohhh…." Brian turned it over revealing a wheel-shaped collage of picture frames. It was handmade and contained a picture frame in the center with on each spoke more picture frames. The center picture was a group picture of the five youngest McFaddens and on each spoke pictures of either Adam or Brian with one of them. "I mean…boy…"

"Yeah no kidding, that is…" But Adam was just as speechless.

"See?" Guthrie pointed at the middle picture, "We took that one at the concert. That's why Crane had to be away for a bit."

"And then," Ford continued, "we went through all the photos we've got…see, that's you and me, Brian. That's when you coached my soccer team."

"And that one's where you taught me how to ride, Adam," Guthrie pointed at another one.

Adam had to swallow hard and he felt salt sting his eyes as realization dawned on him what they had done and why.

"It was my idea to take the group picture and Daniel knew who could take the picture, but Crane came up with the rest," Evan said softly.

"It's not to exclude mom and dad," Daniel said just as softly, "But for most of us, you two have been our parents."

"For all of us," Crane put his arm around Daniel, "Some of us just had trouble accepting that."

"Yeah, so Crane said we should add pictures about all those moments that showed just that." Daniel leaned into Crane's embrace, "Crane said the wheel would be symbolic."

Adam looked from Daniel to Crane, to the younger boys and then at Brian. He just didn't know what to say. He was too emotional.

"Don't you like it, Adam?" Guthrie looked worried and about to cry. "We didn't mean to make you sad."

"That's not it, buddy," Adam took Guthrie on his lap. "I love it."

"And so do I."

"Why are ya crying then?" Guthrie still didn't understand.

"I'm not crying!" Brian almost sounded insulted, but his voice was a little husky.

"Sure coulda fooled me," Evan grinned.

"Allergies. That's it: allergies." And Brian tried to sneeze to prove his point…and failed.

"Well, I'm not too big to cry and never will be," Adam kissed Guthrie on the top of his head. "Not when it comes to things like this." His tears were for more than the thoughtful gift, though. As so often his mind went back to the worst memory of his life. Most people would think that moment would be the moment the doctor at the hospital told him that his parents had died. Or maybe the moment the sheriff had come to get him to go to the hospital. But in reality, the very worst moment was having to tell his brothers. Because, how do you tell someone that the most important persons in their lives are gone? How do you crush someone's entire world? It's one thing to undergo it yourself, to be told, to see, but to go and break their hearts was another thing. He'd so wanted to postpone the moment. He'd been numb himself. And scared, there was no denying that. But his nightmares were of that moment he told them and saw their world come crushing down. Destroyed. Never the same again. He'd pulled them in his arms, even Brian, big as he was, and at that moment he'd stepped into the role they were acknowledging now. At the time, he hadn't realized all those implications yet. The conscious step had come later. The legal step even after that, of course. But that was the moment he'd become their care-giver, the one to console, hug, dry tears, and all those other things parents did. At the moment it happened, he'd simply saw himself as the one who was breaking their hearts. And that moment still haunted his nightmares.

Brian was thinking about other things. He thought about all those moments he hadn't been sure what his role was. Adam was their guardian, Brian wasn't. When it had happened, he'd still been in high school, sixteen years old. But very quickly he'd known he couldn't let Adam do this alone. His older brother would never have asked for his help, so he just did it. When he saw what it was doing to Adam, how panicked the guy was and how out of his depth much as the guy liked to hide it, Brian had known he, too, had to stop being a teenager who could waste his time goofing off because life hadn't started yet. For him, real life had started, childhood was over. But through his own insecurities about his role, he always watched Adam like a hawk for signs the guy was heading for a break down, like the one he'd seen him have that one day a few months after their parents' deaths. He never wanted to see that again.

But the photo's brought back all those wonderful moments with their little brothers: helping with homework, packing lunches, taking them to school because they'd missed the bus, changing Guthrie's diapers, running after the 2-year-old who never seemed to want to stay put, driving to school to bring Evan his books because the boy had forgotten them in his rush to get to the bus, putting Band-Aids on scraped knees, that time Ford had tried to help do laundry and had used so much detergent that the entire laundry room was covered in bubbles just like in a cartoon, Daniel dressed up as one of the kings at the Christmas pageant, pushing Ford on the tire-swing in the yard, Evan with Diablo who was only an hour old when the picture was taken, Crane going on his first date, watching him graduate high school…there were so many good memories.

"That is the best present I've ever had," Adam looked around to see embarrassed, yet pleased faces. "I don't even have words to say just how much I love this. Thank you!"

"Even if it didn't cost much?" Guthrie still wasn't sure.

"Some things are priceless, buddy," Brian reassured, "Simply can't put a price on it."

"Brian?" They all wondered what Evan was going to say, he sounded so serious, "This is all nice and all, but…when the heck are we gonna have breakfast? I'm starving! We've been up for hours and worked hard, you know, doing all those chores!"

They all laughed and Brian pulled Evan over in a headlock and gave him that tickling he'd wanted to give him at 5 am. "Oh you're hungry are you? Hmmm only if you say Uncle…."

"Never!"

"Then I'll just keep tickling you…." And he moved his hand to the back of Evan's knees, knowing how incredibly ticklish the boy was there. The reaction was instantaneously.

"Noooo Uncle! Uncle!"

Brian got up and put his hands in the air, "And the winner….Brian McFadden…."

"Well, Brian McFadden…" Adam winked at Evan over Guthrie's head, "your price is….you get to make us breakfast."

"Dang…."