An air of anxious energy fills the room, although if it is palpable to everyone is something I am unsure about. To say the least, I'm anxious. Knowing full well what is supposed to happen today, I have to steel myself for a confrontation with Hayama, even if I'm not the one doing the talking this time. That said, I don't even know when Yumiko is planning on going to him. On top of that, last night she didn't know what she wanted to say, so I'm hoping she has it figured out by now. I can't imagine being in her position, honestly. To have to find out that one of your supposed deepest friendships and crush was never really there, well, it's impressive that she's still holding up.
It shouldn't be that surprising though. After all, the great loner Hikigaya Hachiman has an excellent eye when it comes to people. Or at least I want to tell myself that now to excuse my initially incorrect assumptions about Yumiko's character. If there was anything that surprised me more than finding out about Yumiko, it would be that I somehow fell for her. The person who swore off love after middle school, falling for the least probable person.
I also have to wonder how exactly I became so sentimental. Despite how cynical I am about the world, for some reason when I think about her I can't help but feel as if there may be hope after all.
The room, which I thought to contain anxious energy, is actually still mostly empty. I couldn't help but arrive somewhat early. Today is an extremely important day not just for Yumiko, but for everyone at this school. The events which occur today could have ramifications that change the environment of the school for a long time. I'm normally not one for arriving unnecessarily early, of course because I cherish my valuable rest, but last night I just couldn't bring myself to sleep. I suppose if anything, that is the testament to how important today is.
Of course, I would also be lying if I didn't somewhat feel as if perhaps we were making this out to be bigger than it actually was. From an outside perspective, all that's at stake is a bunch of friendships that were fake to begin with. Knowing that it was fake, I myself would have few reservations about ending things. Even if I had brought myself to care about them, did I really care about the person? Or just the mask that they wore? It might be painful, sure, but throwing out those fake relationships would be the best for me in the long run.
Then again, I've never really been one for second chances, or at least not to the degree that Yumiko and the others are.
Maybe I could learn a thing or two from her.
Needless to say, getting to know her has really changed my perspective on things. My cynicism will likely never change; it's a part of who I am. That said, I had always thought that the Service Club was full of unique individuals, those who perhaps were outside the world of hypocrisy and lies. But maybe I was wrong... Maybe I had just blinded myself to the fact that there was hope for all people, and that there is an inherent good to humanity.
Indeed, we may certainly be selfish creatures, but that doesn't mean we are beyond compassion and genuine expression. And while some people may have different ways of expressing themselves, perhaps there is hope for society. At the very least, I want to be able to believe in that hope. The world that I knew, full of lies and fake personalities... I'm just so sick of it.
More than anything, I realized that I was lonely.
Yumiko... She started to change that.
The genuine thing I had always longed for... While it manifested itself in my relationship with the Service Club, and maybe even with Isshiki or my friends, Totsuka and Zaimokuza, I think I at last know what it feels like for someone to wholly open up to me. With Yukinoshita, I had caught glimpses, but it always seemed as if she were guarded. With Isshiki, even as she acted her usual, sly self around me, I couldn't help but feel as if there was something more that she was too afraid to show me. Totsuka was always shy, and Zaimokuza never seemed to take anything too seriously, albeit that may just be how it is. Even Yuigahama, who was a straightforward airhead, would betray her own feelings for the better of the whole.
As much as I care about the people I consider my closest friends, even then the interactions seemed guarded and almost artificial in a sense. I feel that it was finally with Yumiko, who was brutally honest, and one who cared deeply for others but was selfish to a fault, that she exposed herself to me in a moment of faith.
That's way too cliche, dammit! The Fire Queen melting the coldness out of my heart? Are you kidding? That makes me want to vomit!
I can't deny that I think she has restored some of my faith in humanity, but damn if it isn't one of the most cliche things I've ever heard. It's almost as if this entire scenario was written as some sort of unrealistic story. I mean seriously, do cliches like that ever happen in real life? Well, clearly it happened to me, but maybe I'm just now what I used to call one of the lucky few. That is, if you could even call my current situation lucky.
I guess it isn't all bad. I met Yumiko, and not everyone gets to be so close to the one they like. Still, it's not like this situation is all sunshine and rainbows.
As much as I like to pretend that none of this matters in the grand scheme of our lives, the experiences we face in our early lives end up shaping a great deal of who we are in the future. Just look at me, as a prime example. I used to believe in humanity, until an experience in middle school opened my eyes. Surely, something that might hurt her deeply now could also have a lasting impact into her future. Sometimes, the effects might not even be visible until much later. It's hard to say for certain how much a failure here would hurt her, but even I, insensitive as I am, can tell that this means a lot. It's her entire world having been shifted upside down, after all. Even if the others had come on board with her, the final boss remained.
To be honest, I'm not entirely optimistic. The guy is selfish and prideful, and I'm not sure if he even knows how to act natural anymore. What even is his "natural"? When you live your entire life as a lie, maybe you start to believe it. I don't know if Hayama would still fit into that group after he drops the act. Or for that matter, if anyone is even capable of convincing him otherwise. Does he even have a personality once his facade is gone? But if Yumiko is going to try...
Then you're damn sure I'm going to help.
Time seems to move slowly as I wait for Yumiko. The tension in the room grows slowly, as if the students realize that an event is approaching. The room slowly fills as people trickle in, and yet it isn't until close to the end that Yumiko arrives. She slides the door open and walks through, her golden locks as radiant as ever, especially with the sunlight pouring in from the windows. She seems tired, but that's to be expected. I can only imagine how late she was up last night, or how hard it would have been to fall asleep. With only a few minutes before class starts, she sets her bag down and anxiously walks to my desk, plopping down on top of it without any regard for my personal space.
"Morning, Hikio."
"Morning, Yumiko. Rough night?"
She leans back, running a hand through her hair. "You have no idea. I'm half expecting to wake up in bed, realizing that I never even woke up today."
"Wouldn't that be nice? But I can assure you this is in fact reality."
"That's exactly what a dream person would say."
I smirk. "Right."
"Well, in the chance that this isn't a dream and you're actually right here, then I think I'm going to find him after school."
I'm glad that she can still joke around at a time like this, although it seems like she's just trying to be okay when she might not actually be. And I wouldn't blame her.
"After school seems like a good idea. Do you have a plan already?"
"I think I know what I want to say, but I have this feeling that it won't come out at all like what I had planned. In the heat of the moment, I'm worried I'll just become emotional..."
"Maybe that's what you need. Maybe the best way to convince him is to appeal to his emotions... if he has any."
She swats me on the arm. "That's mean! Of course he has feelings... He's just always hiding them from us."
Hearing her defend him irks me, but I suppose what I said was mean, although possibly true. The truth hurts, after all. And besides, I'm not petty enough to actually get mad over that.
"Well, I hope you can get through to him. Or not, that might be okay too."
"Geez, are you really joking about this right now?" She pauses, and a mischievous smirk spreads across her face. "Oh..."
"No."
"...Could it be?"
"No."
"...That you're jealous?"
"Definitely not."
She puts a hand on her chest, as if she were touched. "How nice of you to care so much, Hikio! But you don't have to worry, I don't have feelings for Hayato anymore, you know?"
My hand finds its way across my forehead as I let out a sigh. "Yeah, yeah, I know. And I'm not jealous."
Yumiko giggles as she stands up. "You know, for someone who acts as mature and aware as you do, you're surprisingly immature. I think it's pretty cute."
"Hey, I already told you-"
The bell cuts me off and she gives me a wink before going back to her desk. "Let's eat lunch together later."
I somehow manage to sit through classes until lunch. I must say, I'm still not used to having Yumiko come over to me openly with all the other students watching. Sure, we may be friends now, but only a few short weeks ago she would rather be caught dead than being seen with me. I think the rest of the class also feels the same way, as when she walks over to my desk, much like this morning, she garners a few sideways looks. However, she either doesn't notice or doesn't care, as her face shows no change from the nervousness I saw this morning. Then again, maybe it's because she's just too anxious to do either.
Her gaze flits around nervously and it's painfully obvious that she's not handling the pressure well.
"Alright Hikio, ready for lunch?"
Standing up, I roll around the coins in my pocket and count that I do indeed have enough for two breads today, assuming the coins are 100 yen. Judging by the size, I think they are. "Yeah, lemme go buy my bread from the cafeteria really quick."
"I'll come with you. It'll be fast, right?"
"Yeah, should be."
We walk sort of awkwardly to the cafeteria, and I can almost feel the glances of other students as we walk past. It must be quite the unusual sight, to see two opposites like us walking together. Especially given our reputations, although I know Yumiko hasn't been exactly shy about being around me anymore.
The walk is short, and when we arrive I pull out my coins and count up the change. I have enough for two breads, as long as I don't get the expensive ones. But why would I? The cheap ones give the most calories for the cost, and they all pretty much taste the same anyways. Yumiko ends up following me into the line, probably because she doesn't want to just stand around and wait.
"What do you normally get?"
"Always the cheapest ones. Normally a melon bread and a red bean bread."
Her attempt to make small talk is painfully obvious, but I figure I should play along at least until there aren't tons of people who could hear us.
"Don't you ever want to try the other ones?"
"No, not really. It's more expensive so why bother?"
"You don't ever feel like treating yourself to something better?"
I grab the two breads and pay before we start walking out. "If I were to do it, I wouldn't be doing it at the school cafeteria."
"I guess that's true... I'll show you a nice bakery next time. It's not too expensive and it's really good."
"Sure, that sounds good."
We finally start getting to less crowded areas, and there aren't really enough people to hear us now. I guess that was her cue to say something a bit more personal.
"Once this is all over... take me on a date there, alright?"
I almost fall, stumbling for a bit. "W-what?" Actually, knowing her, maybe this isn't so surprising. After all, despite her deep care for others, she can still be selfish.
She pouts a bit, crossing her arms. "Come on, it's not that hard to understand. A date!"
"I, well... Yeah. Sure."
"Good." Her smile is radiant as the dawn, and I can only hope that this agreement can give her the motivation to get through this. Ah, well, who am I kidding? She's strong enough to do it anyways. I'm not pretentious enough to assume that my meek agreement to a date is going to be the deciding factor between her inevitable confrontation and a failure. Besides, that'd be assuming she actually likes me, right?
Regardless, she leads me back to her desk and plops down, motioning for me to take the chair in front. She doesn't say anything, so I can only assume it's my job to break the silence.
"So... How're you feeling?"
She pulls out a bento and opens it, which looks... interesting, to say the least. "You know, Hikio, if you want me to start making lunches for you, I can."
Putting aside the fact that she completely dodged my question, I maintain steady eye contact until I see my window of opportunity, and glance down at the lunchbox before her. It's not black, so at the very least the contents are not burned, but that does not assure me in any capacity that the items are cooked. And the flavor could be good, but it's rather hard to tell when everything is a sort of dull gray color. Needless to say, even I would rather take my cheap school bread over something that could possibly poison me.
And to the naysayers who cry, 'But Hachiman! It's the handmade bento of the girl you like! You HAVE to eat it!', I say to hell with it. Of course I would protect her feelings, but my happiness matters too damn it!
But it seems I spent too long looking at it. She notices and crosses her arms. "Look, I know I'm not the best at cooking, alright? But I've been practicing, and I'm sure I'll get it soon. I just wanted to do something nice for you."
"You don't have to do that. Of course, if you really didn't mind, free food is always welcome, but please don't poison me."
A cold stare, followed by a swat on the arm, and suddenly I'm apologizing. Is this the power of love?
Yumiko takes a bite of something and mutters to herself, "It's not even that bad..."
I smirk. "Well, you can't blame me, can you? I mean, look at it. I can't tell what anything is."
"What are you talking about? This is clearly the omelette, and this one is a meatball..."
"Right..."
It's almost comically bad, and it takes everything I have to muster up the strength to say the next line that comes out my mouth.
"I guess I can try a bite."
Her eyes clearly light up, which, given the day that today is, puts me at least a bit at ease. At the very least, I can afford her this happiness. Gah, that makes me sound like a jerk!
She sort of sifts through the food, as if looking for the best possible bite to offer me. Somehow, underneath a bed of dry looking rice, she manages to unearth a little sausage which still retains its original color. I can tell she's excited by it, being one of the only things that looked like it might actually come from a store bought bento. Happily picking it up with her chopsticks, she offers it up to me. "Here, try it!"
I squirm a little under her bright smile. That, and the eyes of the classmates around us who are clearly watching us with great interest. "I, um... I could eat it myself."
Yumiko seems to realize that she's trying to feed me, the sort of thing that you would only see in cheesy manga or from overly familiar couples. However, she doesn't back down, although her face starts to warm up with reddish hue, which is actually pretty cute.
"Just eat it already!"
Even before I can open my mouth, she's already pushing it towards me. I quickly bite it off and lean back, trying to hide the evidence of what I had just done. I can feel myself growing a little warm, even though I know how stupid that is. Was I always this susceptible to this kind of stuff?
"So? How is it?"
In my small bit of stupor, I had almost forgotten that she had just fed me some food with the intent of my feedback. Chewing the sausage (which tasted exactly like any other sausage), I couldn't bring myself to tell her that boiling a sausage isn't really cooking, that all wieners taste pretty much the same, and that somehow messing up a sausage was probably harder than making it edible. So instead, I swallowed it down and chuckled a little at the ridiculousness of it all.
"Yeah, it's pretty good."
Her eyes light up and she beams an incredibly bright smile, pumping her fist in success. "Yay!" Letting out a sigh of relief, she leans back in her chair and laughs a little. "I was so worried that it wouldn't taste good, but I'm glad I can at least do something right."
Unwrapping my own bread, I start to munch on it thoughtfully. "But still, I'm surprised you went through the trouble of making this."
"Oh? And what's that supposed to mean?"
"I, uh... Don't mean anything bad by it."
Raising an eyebrow suspiciously, she crosses her arms and hums thoughtfully. "Really? Sounds to me like you think I'm unable to go out of my way to do things for other people."
I can see how she might have come to that conclusion, but it's so far from the truth that I find myself instinctively correcting her on that regard. "What? No, on the contrary I think you're always doing too much for other people."
"Huh?" She looks down and seems a bit surprised to hear me say that. Is she getting a bit red? "I... I didn't know you felt that way."
All of a sudden, now I'm feeling flustered too. I didn't even intend to talk about this, yet here we are. "Ah, uh, um... Yeah. I noticed that you were always the one taking care of others, even when it was hard for people to see that."
"Does that mean you've been watching me for a while now?"
I can't help but huff out some air as I cross my arms, my cheeks still somewhat warm. "Hey, don't make it sound like I'm some sort of creepy stalker. I mean, you were the one who asked me to observe you so that I could help you out."
Yumiko laughs at my probably overly serious response. "Oh, I know Hikio. I'm not stupid or anything like that. It's just that..." She fidgets in her chair for a brief moment. "If you really were paying that much attention to me, I guess... I guess it would make me pretty happy."
I gulp. That line is cheating, dammit! That's just way too cute! Unfair! Zero points! Disqualified!
It seems my face betrays my feelings, as Yumiko smiles slyly when she sees me. "Oh? Hikio, are you blushing?"
"What? Uh, no, definitely not."
"Haha, you definitely are! Aw, you're cute when you try to hide it!"
I try my absolute hardest to compose myself and stop myself from showing any signs of emotion. It's clear I can't change her mind, so at best I can just try to change the subject. "Well, anyways, uh, when I said I was surprised you made the bento, it was because I thought you would be more worried about today. And you know, not really in the mood to do something like make a bento."
Her mirth subsides upon hearing my words, and she purses her lips as she looks around thoughtfully. "Yeah, I don't blame you for thinking that way. It's true that it kept me up for a long time, but at some point I figured worrying about it wouldn't change anything."
"That's true," I note, as I nod in agreement. "You won't change the future by worrying about it, so it's best not to stress out over it."
"Practical as ever, Hikio." She laughs. "Well, that said, as much as I wanted to, I couldn't stop thinking about it so I needed something to distract myself. And, well... When I tried to think about anything else, you were the first thing that came to mind."
Do I need to get my ears checked? Did I hear that correctly? "Um, come again?"
"Bah, I already said it once, I'm not gonna say it again. I know you heard me."
Although I'm probably quite flushed after this intense series of frontal assaults from Yumiko, I can't help but give her a taste of her own medicine. "Oh? Yumiko, are you blushing?"
Her ears grow red and and she flashes a defeated smile. "Oh, haha, very funny. Laugh it up. I'll get you back for that."
Finishing off my first piece of bread, I unwrap the other. "I'll look forward to it, but for now just worry about talking to Hayama later today."
Yumiko lets out a sigh and seems to sink into her chair, her face returning to its normal state. "Yeah, like I said, even when I try to distract myself, it still weighs on me constantly."
"You said you know what you want to say already, right?"
"More or less, but I don't know, in the moment that could all change so quickly... Or if he responds a certain way, that might change what I want to say."
I nod. "Certainly, a lot of what you say will depend on how he reacts. Furthermore, I can't say I have any idea how he'll respond to this. Based on how he's been before, I would think that he'll be adverse to all of this, but maybe your earnest approach will manage to move him."
"Rather optimistic of you, don't you think? I didn't take you for someone who could have such a positive outlook on the world."
"Well, I'm just trying to reassure you is all. Of course someone like me isn't actually that optimistic about that guy."
She laughs. "Gee, thanks, that really cheered me up."
Smirking, I place the last piece of bread in my mouth and crumple up the wrapper. "Well, I'm glad you're still able to laugh. You'll be fine today. Don't worry."
Giving me a brave smile, I can tell underneath her somewhat composed exterior is traces of anxiety. It's almost painfully visible how desperately she wants this to work, and yet how afraid she is of failure. She's hanging on by a thread, and despite that is still able to put up a facade of being okay.
It makes me want to hug her or something. Gah, when did I start wanting to hug people?!
"Thanks, Hikio. I know I'll be okay, especially if you're there to support me."
The bell rings its familiar chime, marking the end of lunch break. Yumiko stands up as she packs up her bento, and gives me one last smile.
"I'll see you after school."
I nod encouragingly, and to my surprise, I smile back.
"See you soon."
It really is what many consider to be the perfect evening. The sun is slowly beginning to set over the horizon, and the sky is beginning to darken, though not to a very large degree yet. Hints of pink begin appearing at the edge of the sky, and a few puffy clouds linger in the air as a lazy wind drifts them through the air. Truly, if I weren't so preoccupied with my thoughts, I would surely have thought that today was indeed a beautiful day.
Instead, however, I find myself somewhat anxious for obvious reasons. Yumiko is waiting for me outside the classroom, her hands fidgeting restlessly. Just by the motions of her shoulders, it's clear she's breathing quite quickly, and I can only assume her heart is beating rapidly too. As I walk over to her, she sees me and perks up.
"Oh, thank god, Hikio, I'm freaking out."
Her smile of relief is flattering but also worrying. I can't imagine how stressed out she's become leading up to this moment. It must be kind of like when you know you have a really important event coming up, and even when you think you're okay as time ticks closer to the moment of truth you can't help but feel nervous.
That building anxiety is destructive, and even though I'm feeling anxious as well I can only hope she's in a position to still do this.
"Look, are you going to be okay?"
She shakes her head with a small laugh. I'm glad she still can. "Do I look alright? I'm a mess right now, and I don't think I'm in any shape to try and confront Hayato like this."
People have been leaving the classroom periodically, although now the stream of faces has stopped. Yuigahama went on ahead after seeing me with Yumiko, so I can only assume she has an idea of what's happening. "Well, I can see that but it's still worth asking: Do you want to change this to another day? If you aren't ready yet, then it might be better to wait until you can confidently take him on."
To my surprise, she shakes her head and steels herself. "No, I need to do this today. I spent so long preparing for this, and I can't let that go to waste. And, well..." She glances at me. "I have you."
"Well, I'm flattered, but it's not like I'm really going to do anything. I think I'll really only be standing there."
She nods. "I know. But still, you being there will be more than enough support for me. Come on, let's go. I told him I would meet him at the bike racks outside, and everyone else should be gone by now."
"Alright, let's go then."
As we walk down, I can feel the silence thickening. I don't want to say anything in case it disrupts her train of thought, and yet at the same time I want to say something to encourage her. With the big moment approaching, I'm honestly surprised by how much I want this to work out for her. And it's not for Hayama. I hate that guy, his damn "ideals" are what caused all these people to suffer.
Maybe more importantly, he hurt Yumiko.
Damn, I guess I really do care about her.
When we get to the front door of the school, Yumiko stops and looks down. She grips her own arm and takes a deep breath. Even though she already told me she was fine, seeing her like this, I can't help but ask one more time.
"Are you sure you can do this?"
Her eyes are closed as she takes a few more breaths. "I've spent so long running away from my problems, even when I was the one promoting change. I asked for other people to fix my problems instead of trying to do it myself. I tried to care for other people, but even then all I could do was offer help for their problems while running from mine. When I realized what was really happening, I hoped someone else would speak up and avoided confrontation."
She finally opens her eyes and looks at me. And inside those deep, emerald eyes, I see a light that wasn't there before. "I'm done running away. I need to fix my own problems."
I can almost feel her conviction, and although it may be cheesy, I think it's rubbing off on me. I suddenly have more hope than I did before.
"Okay, I believe in you. Go and give him your mind."
She nods and together we step outside into the warm air as the sky continues to turn pink. The school is practically empty at this point, although the cries from the sports field can still be heard as clubs continue practicing. However, the bike racks, which are vacant, still house a single person.
His golden hair shines in the setting sun and he stares thoughtfully into the horizon. I can't begin to guess what might be on his mind, but knowing him it can't be good. A twinge of anger streaks through my psyche when I see him, but I manage to suppress it. This isn't my fight. It seems he hasn't heard our footsteps because he still hasn't turned.
"Hayato."
He turns with a warm, familiar smile that I know is anything but. "Hey, Miura." And then his eyes lock onto me, and his smile fades. "You." Looking back to Yumiko, he shakes his head ever so slightly. "Of course you would bring him."
We stand roughly ten feet apart, standing on opposite ends of a rack. The wall of the cover structure sits to our right, and suddenly I can't help as if I'm not wanted here.
Gee, really took a genius to figure that one out, huh.
Yumiko shifts her weight to her other foot. "Hayato, come on, don't be like that."
He crosses his arms as he lets out a sigh. "Yeah, I know, sorry. We should just get along, right? Anyways, I can already guess what you wanted to talk about but go ahead."
She takes a step forwards. "I didn't just come to talk, I came for answers too. But I'll start with this. Are you willing to stop hiding behind that mask and finally open up to us?"
"I thought you would ask that. But before I answer, let me ask you a question instead. Did you ever stop to think about why I did what I did?"
I'm actually quite surprised by this question, and I can only assume Yumiko is too. "W-what?"
"Why I put on this mask, and always remain neutral. Why I always tried to maintain our status quo."
Now that he mentions it, we never really questioned what his actual motive was. We knew what he wanted to do, but we never really considered why. I had just assumed it was for some sort of selfish reason, to protect himself and his clique.
But I can tell Yumiko is taken aback. I only confirm my thoughts as she responds to him. "Then tell me, why did you do all that?"
Hayama's face contorts into a strange mix of pain and passion. "It was to protect our happiness. Everyone was happy and all I wanted was to maintain that."
"But it wasn't real, Hayato. It was a carefully constructed happiness which would never last."
"Does it matter? We were happy with the way things were, and we could have stayed that way for the rest of high school."
Yumiko falters. "It's... It's true that I thought I was happy, but after I realized what was going on there's no way I would have been content with a shallow happiness like that."
"But look at us! Look at what happened to our group. Can you really say that something a little shallow was really worse than this? That what we're going through is really any better than the dynamic we had before?"
There's a pause in the conversation, and although I feel extremely awkward being a bystander to this conversation, I'm starting to understand why I should be here.
Hayama is as convincing as ever, and he's added a bit of sob story to empower his position. I for one don't buy it for one second... But perhaps, as the result of my time with Yumiko, I'm starting to doubt whether or not he's truly as selfish as I originally thought.
That said, if his words are having this much of an effect on me, I can only imagine what they're doing to Yumiko.
"I..."
My fears are confirmed when she doesn't say anything more, and instead turns back to face me. Her normally bright, green eyes are laced with turmoil and I can see the inner struggle going on inside her. She just looks at me for a moment, her face eerily calm though I can see that she's barely managing to hide her emotions. She scowls lightly, but as she looks at me her face softens and her eyes sharpen. I feel a little self conscious under the weight of her intense gaze, but if this is what she needs me for then I have to support her. I can tell Hayama is scrutinizing me as she looks at me, which doesn't help with the pressure.
Finally, Yumiko turns back to him and speaks again.
"What we're going through right now does suck, yes. And yeah, I used to think I was happy, you know? I thought everyday was so much fun hanging out with you guys and I honestly wanted to keep things that way forever."
Hayama frowns, probably confused by the disconnect between her words and her intentions. "Then why?"
"Well... I was able to start opening my eyes. I was able to finally completely open myself up to someone and have them accept me, even though I wasn't perfect or the person that they may have wanted me to be. I realized that perfection doesn't exist, and that the flaws we have are part of what makes our relationships so meaningful."
She pauses to take a breath and looks down. "Hayato, I really did think I was happy. But in hindsight, we never could have been happy living out a meaningless life. Something that wasn't genuine like that would inevitably end." Her gaze comes back up to meet his. "I know it might not be easy for you and everyone else to change the way we interact with each other. But it's not just about trying to have more fun. It's because I care about you guys. I really do, and I want you guys to open up to me and really tell me how you feel. I... I really care about all of you so much..."
Yumiko is beginning to tear up as her emotions get the better of her, and for a moment I think she's about to lose it, but she sniffs a few times, takes a deep breath, and regains her composure. In front of her, Hayama is frowning thoughtfully. Is he actually being moved by her words?
"Look, Hayato, I know that you care about us. Otherwise, you never would have put up with us for so long. And I know that if you were always hiding behind a mask, it'll be hard to break that habit. But I want you to know that if you're willing to try, all of us will always be there for you."
She glances back at me, her eyes still a little red from the tears, the extra moisture causing them to really glisten in the setting sun. "I didn't know it at first, but actually finding someone who would open up to me, and who I could open up to without holding anything back, well... It was liberating. And I want every one of us to be able to experience that."
Hayama's lips are tightened and he frowns thoughtfully at the ground. Given the amount of time he's taking to respond, I hope that at the very least he's considering the possibility.
Letting out a final sigh, he looks at Yumiko with a sort of reluctant acceptance. "I understand where you're coming from, and yeah, it sounds nice. I don't agree with it completely, but if this is what everyone wants, then I'll go along with it."
Much to both of our surprises, Yumiko runs up to him and embraces him in a tight hug. He's clearly taken aback, as for a moment his arms don't seem to know where to go.
But more importantly, WHAT?
Her muffled voice echoes from behind him. "Thank you Hayato, you don't know how much this means to me."
It looks like she whispers something else into his ear, though it's inaudible to me. I'm a little miffed, but she's happy so I'll let it pass this time. After all, with this, it should finally be over. This whole ordeal that has plagued both me and Yumiko, as well as most of the people in our class.
Finally, perhaps things will start turning for the better. Perhaps the atmosphere in our class will begin to improve, and perhaps the main clique will return to being friends. Or rather, maybe they'll finally truly become friends for the first time. Despite my original gripes with all of them, I can't help but find myself relieved that they'll finally get along.
If you had asked me why I was so happy about this at the beginning of all of this, I would have said that I was just glad the work was done and they would stop bothering me.
But right now, I know that, even if that's still partially true, it isn't the whole truth. I think my time with Yumiko has actually softened me, as gross as that sounds. The me from the beginning would be gagging at the thought.
For once, I'm okay with that.
Hayama breaks the hug first and takes a step back. "If you could humor me, I do have one more question, though I think I know the answer."
"Sure, what is it?"
"Who was the person who helped you open up?"
Yumiko glances back at me and blushes ever so slightly. "Are you really gonna make me say it?"
To my surprise, he laughs. "I see. No need to say it. I'm going to head back first. I'll see you guys next week. Have a nice weekend. You too, Hikigaya."
I'm a bit shocked he even mentioned me, considering I basically haven't been addressed for the entire conversation. "Yeah, uh, you too."
As he passes by me to leave the school, he stops and pats a hand on my shoulder. "It had to be you, didn't it? I really can't ever win against you."
Without even waiting for a reply, he heads off into the sunset, as cliche as it is. Did he think he looked really cool there? I can assure you, there's nothing cool about that unless you're a chuuni in middle school.
Yumiko comes back towards me as well. I want to say something encouraging, but even as I open my mouth I'm pushed back.
"Wha-"
I find myself with my back firmly against a wall as Yumiko presses herself into my chest. She's trembling lightly, and for the first time in a while, I don't feel the need to push her away. For once, I think I can afford her this much.
She seems to take my lack of resistance as a sign of approval and grips my jacket tightly as she looks up at me. Gah, she's so close! And her eyes are slightly red from the small tears beginning to idle down her face. Her cheeks are also flushed red, and her golden hair glows faintly in the sun. Hold on, Yumiko, this is way too much! I'm not going to be able to handle this!
Her voice is soft and shaky, and yet it isn't sad. Rather, it is incredibly relieved with hints of hope. Though, that isn't very surprising.
"Hikio, we finally did it. I was so worried but now it's over... And I can finally have something genuine with everyone!" She begins to choke up. "I was so, so worried..."
"Yeah, it's over." I think my big brother instincts kick in because I reflexively find myself patting her head slowly. "You did well, Yumiko."
She laughs lightly. "I can't believe it, it feels like such a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders."
I find myself smiling along with her. "I know what you mean."
And for a moment we just stand there, looking into each other's eyes.
It only lasts for a moment though, as I turn away pretty quickly after realizing how embarrassing I was just being.
"Well, anyways, good job today. You were really convincing."
"Yeah, I spent a long time thinking it up, you know? If it wasn't convincing that wouldn't look good for me. And also, Hikio..." She smiles brightly as she takes a step back. "Thank you."
"Ah, well, coming here was the least I could do, right? I did agree to it, after all."
"No, not just for that... For everything. For helping me even though you didn't like me at first. For listening to my worries and my desires and putting up with my selfish requests. For always supporting me and giving me advice when I needed it. For teaching me what it meant to really be honest with someone. I have so much to thank you for and I just can't even begin to put it into words..."
This assault of cuteness and gratitude is a deadly combination! I'm not going to last if this keeps up! "Yumiko, it's okay. You don't need to keep saying that. I uh, I get it. I really didn't do much." And that's true. All I did was offer support, just like any other friend would. It really wasn't anything special.
She shakes her head. "It might not have been much to you, but to me it meant so much."
"Well, if you say so, I certainly won't stop you from thinking highly of me."
Yumiko laughs at my poor joke. "What the heck is that kind of joke? Haha, that was so bad."
"Hey, don't harp on my humor if you're going to laugh at it!"
"Hmm, but maybe I'm not laughing at the joke?"
"What?"
"Anyways, Hikio." She checks her phone. "Are you free tomorrow? We have a day off."
I smirk. "Is that really a question you need to ask? I'm always free, unless you consider relaxing in my room with a book to be 'busy'".
She motions to me to start walking towards the exit, where we stop briefly before splitting up. "Then let's meet up. I'll text you the details later, okay?"
Turning to start heading off in my direction while she goes the other way, I nod in affirmation. "Alright, sure."
I start walking off, feeling rather content with how today went, when a shuffle of footsteps approaches me quickly from behind. It startles me, and I'm about to jump around before I find myself being wrapped by a warm body and long, slender arms.
Yumiko's hair tickles the back of my neck as she whispers something into my ear.
"Hikio, really... Thank you so much. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Ah, uh, yeah."
And before I can even turn around to face her, she's already happily walking down the street, humming a tune to herself.
I can't help but smile at the sight of her so happy.
I start walking back home, thinking about what might be in store tomorrow.
I think I have an idea of what it might be.
And I'm looking forward to it.
A/N: Well, it's been a while, hasn't it?
Long time no see to all my old readers, though I expect many of them are no longer active. It's been over a year since the last update, after all. To any newcomers, welcome, and I apologize for the poor quality of the writing. It has been a long time since I wrote anything, and honestly, I think I've lost my touch.
But I promised an ending, and I plan on following through with it.
I see maybe 1-2 more chapters left in this, and I hope you'll continue to stick with me through to the end. Until then.
-Rohasshiki