Goodbye until tomorrow

A/N: A Sendrick one-shot based on the song „Goodbye until tomorrow", from the movie „The last five years". As always I don't own anything! Pleas R&R!

Present time

„Fuck this!" she was on the verge of tears now. She was not able to focus on the song and hit the last high note. This was all getting too much now. "Anna? You OK?" Jeremy asked cautiously. No, for god's sake, she was not ok, but she couldn't form these words because the tears hit her now at this simple and kind question and she sank to the floor. She couldn't sing that fuckin song anymore. Her fight with Brittany flashing up in her mind painfully at every verse. And with every fuckin note she felt more and more like Cathy.

Flashback- Last night

Again, just a quick Skype call was possible. For the last three weeks, this was the only conversation the two of them could uphold. And it was getting complicated more and more because of the time shift and their busy work schedules. Anna felt sick, she was missing her girlfriend to a point of painful by now. Brittany was stressed and in a hurry, Anna was almost falling asleep out of exhaustion. Her voice hoarse because she had been practicing the whole day. "Baby, I don't have much time, I'm sorry!" No "Hello" no "How are you". No, she chose to start this rare conversation with these words. Anna was pissed. "Hello to you too!" she said, more harsh then intended. "Fuck it Anna, I don't have time for this bullshit, and you being pissed at me!" This hurt. The brunette felt tears stinging in her eyes, but she tried to hold them back. "Oh, you don't have time?! But I need to stay awake till you find a moment to call, I'll have to stay up for you and wait like a puppy?!" "I didn't asked you to wait up for me! If you're tired you should go to bed, if that's more important to you then talking to me! But the princess needs her sleep, but what I need, that you don't care about or what?!" This was getting out of hand, Anna knew it, but she couldn't control it, it slipped out of her hands, like water. She tried to hold back the words, but they just flew. Drop by drop. "You know what Anna, this is not gonna work, I need time. I'll call you when I have cleared up my mind!" and with that she was gone. She simply cut the connection. Left Anna, with the hurt and the pain. She stared at the black screen. Black like the whole that opened up in front of her, consuming her, pulling her into painful blackness. She felt dizzy, nauseous. With shaky legs she stood up. The pain replaced by a numbness, deafness as she laid in bed. Tears following her to her sleep.

Present Time

And now she was standing here at rehearsals, singing this fuckin song over and over, till she felt its cruel message burning into her core, into her veins and every cell. Mixed with Britts last words from the call yesterday "This is not gonna work!" She had become Cathy, she had become the one who couldn't move on, couldn't work things out. She had become the one, blaming the other for her own failures. It was just a matter of time, till Britt would've realized this and leave for good.

She felt a soft hand on her shoulder and Jeremys voice that was trying to reach through to her. "Anna, what's wrong?! This isn't about the song is it?! Talk to me Anna!" And she did, through sobs she told him about the call yesterday and what Brittany had said. He listened, stroking her back soothingly. "I know this is hard sometimes Anna, but it's the life you chose, it's the life Britt chose! And although there are rough times, and stones on the path, it doesn't mean, you couldn't climb over these stones, and look forward to times where you're together, without miles between you. Times where you're both not working, or times where you're working in the same state. And you know that these times follow the hard ones. They always do! You just have to look forward to them, and try to get through the rough patches!" She nodded. He sure was right, but that doesn't made Britts words unsaid. That doesn't changed the fact that she already had given up.

"Come on Anna get yourself together! You can do that! Leave private at home and focus on your work here!" Jason called. Yes, that was the only thing now left to do. Singing. Working. Displacing. She wiped the tears away. Jeremy helped her up and handed her the notes again that she had thrown to the floor in her outburst. Anna put all her thoughts and the shards that was her now in the back of her mind. She looked down on her notes as Jason started to play the chords on the piano for the hundredth time today. One hand on her stomach to try to sing into her belly and not through her rip cage like she always intended to do.

"Don't kiss me goodbye again
Leave this night clean and quiet
You want the last word
You want me to laugh
But leave it for now

All you can say
All you can feel
Was wrapped up inside that one perfect kiss
Leave it at that:
I'll watch you turn the corner and go...

And goodbye until tomorrow
Goodbye until the next time you call
And I'll be waiting
Goodbye until tomorrow
Goodbye till I recall how to breathe
And I have been waiting
I have been waiting for you"

Jeremy nudged her at her side carefully and she looked up. She almost cried out again at the sight in front of her. The ground beneath her feet opened up, but she had to stand where she was, singing this damn song to the end. Tears falling onto her notes, but now she didn't needed them anymore. She knew how to sing it, because she now was singing it to her.

Brittany stood in the corner of the theater, a smile on her that told Anna even in the distance, that she came to fix and not to end.

"I stand on a precipice
I struggle to keep my balance
I open myself
I open myself one stitch at a time

Finally yes!
Finally now!
Finally something takes me away
Finally free!
Finally he can cut through these strings
And open my wings!

So goodbye until tomorrow!
Goodbye until my feet touch the floor
And I will be waiting
I will be waiting!
Goodbye until tomorrow
Goodbye until the rest of my life
And I have been waiting
I have been waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you!"

Finally the lyrics filled themselves with meaning, but in a different way than Anna had thought in the beginning. She was not Cathy, no. She was Anna, and she was pouring her heart, her apology, her pain and her joy in front of her girlfriend's feet. And Brittany took them. Eyes never leaving Anna, full in awe of the small brunette singing. Captive, a mix of bursting love and sadness building up in her. Till the love overweighed everything else and she knew it had been right and necessary to come here to New York.

"Goodbye until tomorrow!
Goodbye until I crawl to your door
And I will be waiting
I will be waiting

Goodbye until tomorrow!

Goodbye until I'm done thanking God
For I have been waiting
I have been waiting for you
I have been waiting!

I have been waiting for you

I will keep waiting -
I will be waiting for you!"

The last accord hadn't even died out as Anna was already running towards Brittany. They almost crashed together. Brittany enveloped her in her arms, tightly, like she would disappear if she would loosen the grip only the slightest bit. Anna now crying uncontrollably. "I'm so sorry Britt! I didn't meant the things I said! I'm sorry!" She repeated this, while simultaneously Brittany whispered apology after apology into Anna's brown curls that got wet from the blonde's tears.

"I'm sorry too! I didn't meant that this is not working! I mean, look at us! It's you and me! And I love you more than anything else! I need you Anna, and you need me! And together we can make this work! Together we can make these times apart bearable somehow!" Anna only nodded into Brittany's shoulder. She was so thankful that she was there, holding her. "I missed you so much!" "I missed you too Baby!" She softly pulled away to look at Anna, taking her pale face into her hands and placed a tender kiss to her lips. It made the hardships of the last three weeks vanish into salty lips and searching tongues. Exploring the others mouths like they met for the first time but been greeted with familiarity and love that seemed to have always existed in one another.