I feel his warm breath stroke across me, his arm resting over my chest and his open palm touching my shoulder lightly. I can't see his face in the darkness but the pale moon in shinning off his skin in the light and I can see the curve of his cheek. I shudder and look away toward the blank and pitch black wall. *Life can't always be glorious*, I remind myself. I'm so ashamed of him. Lying over me, the light reflecting the soft glimmers of sweat on his shoulder.
I sigh; I can't keep this up forever. But, as soon as it all comes together, I'll be free. Free to spit out his name and taste how sweet his tears will be. Smirking at the image, I look down at him. His eyes are closed softly and his mouth showing a gentle smile, something still dried on his lips. My face feels hot and I look away. Yes, I am ashamed. But I can't say I won't miss it. A little of it. Just when he puts so much power and force into making me feel so much pleasure, when my whole body shudders with the touch of his lips and his tongue slowly flicking across.
I'm constantly in pain doing this. Mental and physical pain trying to keep on this mask of affection trying to keep myself from retching. I put a hand to my face and brush away my sweat. His and mine. Of course my hand stings with his sweat. Every part of his love hurts me. His lips, his sweat, his...I wipe the somewhat water substance on the bed, the sheets even feel hot. He's breathing is soft but he stirs when I move, always a light sleeper.
I want to kill him and be done with it. I want to end this suffering and forget the information he gives no matter how vital. I began to shift, thinking of it, of finally ending the act. His eyelids flutter open and he looks at me weakly. I feel my body shiver with a light feeling. He moves his fingertips lightly over my shoulder and kisses my chest softly. He moves up on my body with those soft and dazed eyes kissing my collarbone following my neck and kissing my cheek. Finally his soft lips touch my own. I hold back my gagging and stop my body from shuttering in disgust. I should be used to it by now.
"What are you doing up?" He questions carefully brushing a hand over my chest and stroking my stomach lightly.
"Just...admiring you." I lie. I must be a master of lies to speak to him like that and keep a straight face. The light shows only half of his face and half of his gentle and completely enthralled grin.
"Isn't that my job?" He straddles my hips suggestively and sits up in the light, the sweat still evident glistening across him from not that long ago. I accidentally moan, not out of pleasure of course, but out of pain. I feel as though he's trying to kill me. I wonder how one could have so much stamina.
"Why don't we just enjoy each other's company for once?" I smile fakely. He leans down to me and kisses my lips again.
"Sure." He replies, always willing to do whatever I ask. That's what makes him so appealing, he is entirely under-dominate. He nuzzles me softly, the moonlight playing upon his naked form. I have seen it so many times before, but it never ceases to disgust me. His eyes look at me adoringly, like his world will disappear if he can't feel me. I reflect his gaze not feeling anything behind it. "I never really had expected this...." He says sincerely, not truly discussing my suggestion but more the way things have become between us. I force a smile.
"Yes...things certainly have changed, haven't they, Dib?" I say. He nods and rests his slim body on mine.
This is not how I envisioned ruling this measly planet. I never wanted to sink to this level, but it seemed inevitable. I only wish that this particular part of my triumph won't be written. What kind of an invader sleeps his way to the top? It makes me shudder and I often pray the Tallest won't ever discover it. I thought I could do it though. I thought I could get around him, this stupid little obstacle. It can never be that easy; he managed to stop me every time. I wanted him to die so badly I dreamt of it every night.
I stare up at the ceiling as I feel his nail lightly draw over my arm. The darkness surrounds us just so our breath can be heard. I questioned (like I almost always do) if this is how I should be dealing with this problem. Maybe I still should be trying to elude him, the evasive maneuvers I had been taking for so many years. But...he was always there, ready to stop me. Like he always knew what my plans were, forever watching me. Then that idea...this idea came to me. Using my enemy's unresolved affections against him. It seemed just crazy enough to work.
A little smile and feigning friendship and it seemed almost too easy. He had put up resistance to it at first. Refused to believe it, claimed I was only trying to use him to get to the earth. But, he fell. They always fall. Amazing how these humans can be so easily controlled by their EMOTIONS.
Dib gets up and stretches his arms high above his head flexing his slender form in the reflective light. He moves from the window so I can barely see glimpses of his glasses every now and then. I prop myself up on my elbows and lean against the bed frame. Yes, after repeating this ritual at his house, I had decided it might be best to purchase a sleeping device for our own purposes. This way we wouldn't be in fear of getting caught. A rustling of his trench coat raises me from my thoughts.
"Are you headed home?" I ask surprised at the softness of my own voice. Dib's lenses reflect toward me almost eerily.
"Yeah." He whispers for no real purpose. "I've got about three hours to catch some sleep before skool starts. I don't want Gaz to know that I was out all night." I feel the bed shift as he sits down on the end putting on a pair of boots. I can barely see the coat draped over his slender shoulders as he adjusts his shoes. "I'll talk to you tomorrow after lunch." He murmurs looking out the window again.
"Sure." I comment relaxing back in the sweat-soaked covers. Dib surprises me as he gets back on the bed, pressure on either side of my stomach as he kneels above me. He lifts a hand to my chin and tilts my head up to look through the glass and into his ice-tea colored eyes.
"Good night." He kisses me softly with dry lips and lets his tongue slide into my mouth. It stings a bit, like it always does, but I let him explore all he already knows. He finally pulls back slowly and the pressure lifts from either side of me. Dib picks something up off the floor and begins to walk out. The dim light from the hall lights over him as his trench coat blends with the shadows. My personified mystery. I hear him sigh, " 'Night." He repeats and closes the door.
I wait a few moments. I hear the front door slam shut and Dib once again having trouble with the lawn gnomes. I snicker slightly, he keeps reminding me to fix them and I keep "forgetting". I move the covers off my legs and walk to the window still feeling hot from our activities. I rest my arm against the cool window frame and press my forehead to it. I close my eyes in utter shame before glimpsing at the black figure walking away with the huddled trench coat clasped around him.
The snow is blowing harshly and I feel a sting that reminds me of his kiss. I watch the vicious winds whip around him dragging his trench coat in wild directions. He disappears behind a wall of white and I tap my fingertips against the glass as if to call him back. I sting.
I sigh; I can't keep this up forever. But, as soon as it all comes together, I'll be free. Free to spit out his name and taste how sweet his tears will be. Smirking at the image, I look down at him. His eyes are closed softly and his mouth showing a gentle smile, something still dried on his lips. My face feels hot and I look away. Yes, I am ashamed. But I can't say I won't miss it. A little of it. Just when he puts so much power and force into making me feel so much pleasure, when my whole body shudders with the touch of his lips and his tongue slowly flicking across.
I'm constantly in pain doing this. Mental and physical pain trying to keep on this mask of affection trying to keep myself from retching. I put a hand to my face and brush away my sweat. His and mine. Of course my hand stings with his sweat. Every part of his love hurts me. His lips, his sweat, his...I wipe the somewhat water substance on the bed, the sheets even feel hot. He's breathing is soft but he stirs when I move, always a light sleeper.
I want to kill him and be done with it. I want to end this suffering and forget the information he gives no matter how vital. I began to shift, thinking of it, of finally ending the act. His eyelids flutter open and he looks at me weakly. I feel my body shiver with a light feeling. He moves his fingertips lightly over my shoulder and kisses my chest softly. He moves up on my body with those soft and dazed eyes kissing my collarbone following my neck and kissing my cheek. Finally his soft lips touch my own. I hold back my gagging and stop my body from shuttering in disgust. I should be used to it by now.
"What are you doing up?" He questions carefully brushing a hand over my chest and stroking my stomach lightly.
"Just...admiring you." I lie. I must be a master of lies to speak to him like that and keep a straight face. The light shows only half of his face and half of his gentle and completely enthralled grin.
"Isn't that my job?" He straddles my hips suggestively and sits up in the light, the sweat still evident glistening across him from not that long ago. I accidentally moan, not out of pleasure of course, but out of pain. I feel as though he's trying to kill me. I wonder how one could have so much stamina.
"Why don't we just enjoy each other's company for once?" I smile fakely. He leans down to me and kisses my lips again.
"Sure." He replies, always willing to do whatever I ask. That's what makes him so appealing, he is entirely under-dominate. He nuzzles me softly, the moonlight playing upon his naked form. I have seen it so many times before, but it never ceases to disgust me. His eyes look at me adoringly, like his world will disappear if he can't feel me. I reflect his gaze not feeling anything behind it. "I never really had expected this...." He says sincerely, not truly discussing my suggestion but more the way things have become between us. I force a smile.
"Yes...things certainly have changed, haven't they, Dib?" I say. He nods and rests his slim body on mine.
This is not how I envisioned ruling this measly planet. I never wanted to sink to this level, but it seemed inevitable. I only wish that this particular part of my triumph won't be written. What kind of an invader sleeps his way to the top? It makes me shudder and I often pray the Tallest won't ever discover it. I thought I could do it though. I thought I could get around him, this stupid little obstacle. It can never be that easy; he managed to stop me every time. I wanted him to die so badly I dreamt of it every night.
I stare up at the ceiling as I feel his nail lightly draw over my arm. The darkness surrounds us just so our breath can be heard. I questioned (like I almost always do) if this is how I should be dealing with this problem. Maybe I still should be trying to elude him, the evasive maneuvers I had been taking for so many years. But...he was always there, ready to stop me. Like he always knew what my plans were, forever watching me. Then that idea...this idea came to me. Using my enemy's unresolved affections against him. It seemed just crazy enough to work.
A little smile and feigning friendship and it seemed almost too easy. He had put up resistance to it at first. Refused to believe it, claimed I was only trying to use him to get to the earth. But, he fell. They always fall. Amazing how these humans can be so easily controlled by their EMOTIONS.
Dib gets up and stretches his arms high above his head flexing his slender form in the reflective light. He moves from the window so I can barely see glimpses of his glasses every now and then. I prop myself up on my elbows and lean against the bed frame. Yes, after repeating this ritual at his house, I had decided it might be best to purchase a sleeping device for our own purposes. This way we wouldn't be in fear of getting caught. A rustling of his trench coat raises me from my thoughts.
"Are you headed home?" I ask surprised at the softness of my own voice. Dib's lenses reflect toward me almost eerily.
"Yeah." He whispers for no real purpose. "I've got about three hours to catch some sleep before skool starts. I don't want Gaz to know that I was out all night." I feel the bed shift as he sits down on the end putting on a pair of boots. I can barely see the coat draped over his slender shoulders as he adjusts his shoes. "I'll talk to you tomorrow after lunch." He murmurs looking out the window again.
"Sure." I comment relaxing back in the sweat-soaked covers. Dib surprises me as he gets back on the bed, pressure on either side of my stomach as he kneels above me. He lifts a hand to my chin and tilts my head up to look through the glass and into his ice-tea colored eyes.
"Good night." He kisses me softly with dry lips and lets his tongue slide into my mouth. It stings a bit, like it always does, but I let him explore all he already knows. He finally pulls back slowly and the pressure lifts from either side of me. Dib picks something up off the floor and begins to walk out. The dim light from the hall lights over him as his trench coat blends with the shadows. My personified mystery. I hear him sigh, " 'Night." He repeats and closes the door.
I wait a few moments. I hear the front door slam shut and Dib once again having trouble with the lawn gnomes. I snicker slightly, he keeps reminding me to fix them and I keep "forgetting". I move the covers off my legs and walk to the window still feeling hot from our activities. I rest my arm against the cool window frame and press my forehead to it. I close my eyes in utter shame before glimpsing at the black figure walking away with the huddled trench coat clasped around him.
The snow is blowing harshly and I feel a sting that reminds me of his kiss. I watch the vicious winds whip around him dragging his trench coat in wild directions. He disappears behind a wall of white and I tap my fingertips against the glass as if to call him back. I sting.