Chapter 11 Riley's POV

I am pacing back and forth in my room, while Aleyna is down for her before dinner nap. What the hell did we do? What does this mean? Ughh why did he have to kiss me? Question after question invaded my thoughts and I could feel myself start to panic even more. Maya was coming over for dinner, but seeing how she still uses my window instead of the front door, maybe she'll know what this means.

"Hey Buttercup?! What's shakin'?"

"Lucas kissed me!" I just blurted out.

"He what now?"

"H-h-he asked for a day where he and Leyna could just spend time together, just the two of them. After hearing his reasoning, I couldn't help but say yes. He was so excited that he picked me up in a hug and then next thing I know, his lips are on mine," I stare like a deer in headlights.

"And what was your reaction to all this besides you know, burning a hole in the rug with all of your pacing?"

"Well, I yelped in surprise because it was unexpected, and then I sorta kinda kissed him back. It just sparked a feeling I haven't felt in a long time. I mean everything was buzzing with so much passion and love. When I threw my arms around his neck, he held me tighter around the waist. It was like we were the only two people in the world. It was an amazing feeling, but when we pulled apart, he just thanked me again and walked away," I sigh in frustration.

"Riley?"

"What the hell is wrong with me? Not only am I more confused than ever, but I allowed the kiss to become more than just a grateful peck. I let it escalate to tongues and teeth and heavy breathing. I can't believe I did that! I haven't been with someone in almost two years, and the first kiss I share with someone is with the very person who broke my heart. I mean, what am I gonna do Maya? I don't know

what to do!" I rant.

"First, Riles, you're gonna calm the hell down. Now, this is what I was talking about. Missy or no Missy, Aleyna or no Aleyna, you guys need to set aside all of that and TALK to each other. There is so much being left unsaid and you're losing your shit over what ifs and maybes. Talk to Huckleberry and see where his head is at so that you can stop losing yours. But Riles, he kissed you, so take that as at least him having feelings for you. I don't think it was a rejection, I think it was you two being stubborn as usual and letting the world dictate how you're supposed to feel. You don't owe Missy anything, but as much as none of us want Aleyna hurt, we don't want you to hurt either. It's time you think about you and your heart this time. You've been an amazing mother, friend, and daughter, it's okay to be able to add great girlfriend back on the list of things that makes Riley Matthews. Talk to him Riles, and sooner rather than later," she hugs me close to her. Before I could respond…

"Girls! Dinner!" My dad shouts from the living room. Nodding in my best friend's direction, I gather up a groggy Aleyna and we all make our way to the kitchen area. I had a lot of thinking to do.

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Lucas came and picked up Aleyna the following Sunday at around noon. After some much needed thinking, I found the courage to inform Lucas that we really needed to talk. At around 7 pm, a tired looking Lucas carrying a sleeping Leyna walked through the front door.

"Hey. Looks like someone had fun," I chuckled at my baby girl who was knocked out cold. She'll need to take her bath, but she should be out for the night after that.

"Yeah, she's a real energizer," he smiles tiredly. I lead him to my room where her crib resides and he lays her down. He says his whispered goodbyes before kissing her forehead goodnight. We leave the room where he sits while I make hot cocoa. All too soon, it was time for a conversation I didn't want to, but needed to have.

"Thank you," he says before taking the mug I offered him.

"You're welcome."

"No, seriously Riley, thank you. And not just for the hot cocoa, but for giving me today. It was just amazing to have her around, walking, getting into things, and just being comfortable and happy around me," he smiles dreamingly.

"I'm glad I could do that for you," I smile back at him. Things are silence before Lucas decide to speak up.

"Oh, uhm, you said that you wanted to talk to me?" I gulped audibly.

"Y-y-yeah. Yeah, I did." He motions for me to begin and I have no idea where to start.

"The kiss," I simply say.

"Oh. About that, I am really sorry Riley. I don't know what came over me, it was a mistake," he hurriedly said.

"Oh. Oh, right. It was nothing more than a mistake," I mumble clearly disappointed.

"Riles?"

"No, it's okay. I completely understand," I counter, not making eye contact.

"I don't think you do," he says, using his forefinger to lift my head up by my chin.

"What don't I understand Lucas?" I quietly ask, finally looking into those gorgeous blue eyes I love so much.

"It was a mistake to kiss you. It was a mistake because I hadn't broken up with Missy yet. I never want to be that guy who cheats. Missy may have never had my heart, but no matter what she did, I owed her a break up before starting anything else. Plus, it wasn't fair to you. I know that if ever something was to happen between me and you again that you deserve better than what I put you through. Kissing you was the best feeling I've felt in a long time, besides finding out I was a dad. I never want that feeling to go away again. It wasn't the kiss that I regret, it was the way I did it. Not to mention, I don't think I'm ready yet, to be more than friends with you Riley," he concludes, breaking my heart a little more.

"Oh."

"Riles, I hurt you really bad and it was at a time that you needed me most with finding out about the pregnancy and then facing it all as a single parent. Every time I think about it, I hate myself because I lost the best thing or things that could ever happen to me. I never want to be the cause of your unhappiness or heartache ever again. No, I never loved Missy, but we just broke up after over a year together. The circumstances suck, but if we are ever gonna be us again, I want to do it right this time with communication and the same loyalty and devotion that you gave me. Right now, I just want to focus on being a good friend and father to you and Aleyna. You deserve the best and I won't rest until I can prove to myself, to you, to our daughter, that I can be so much more for you guys. I never stopped loving you Riley, and I never will, but I don't want to rush into something just for it to possibly fall apart again. You mean way too much, for me to ever lose you again." Tears fall as I look at him in complete awe. I can still see the boy I fell in love with in the 7th grade, but in front of me sits a man. A man of substance, responsibility, pose, wisdom, honestly, and integrity. A man whom I can't wait to openly love again, and have him love her in return.

"I love you too Lucas," is all I say in return before pecking his cheek and holding him close. This is enough for now. Knowing that he loves me and wants to be with me, is enough for me to wait patiently for the day that we can say it loud and proud.