A/N: This is a bit crack-y. I'm still blaming the flu.

The smell was pretty interesting. Tony would've laughed at the mess. He would've made a quip about the smell. He would've just brushed it off. If Loki hadn't been crying.

"It's fine Lokes!" Tony reassured, pulling him into an all-absorbing hug, "It's just some burnt dinner! It's ok – I can order pizza in, or whatever you want."

"I'm a stupid useless creature!"

"Hey, come on. That's not the Loki I know!"

"It's all your fucking fault!"

"That's the Loki I know!"

Loki bit his neck – sharply, meant to hurt. This was not a lover's bite. This was the bite of a pissed-off hormonal god.

"Ouch! Loki!"

"Oh," Loki said coolly, "did that hurt? I'm sorry," he didn't sound it.

"Are we going to tell them today?" Tony asked, refusing to rise to the bait.

"Yep," a sly smile from Loki, "I think their heads might actually explode."

"You, you what?" Steve asked, his face white; he, Widow, Bruce, and Hawkeye, were staring at them in amazement.

"Are you deaf, Rogers?" the words from Loki's lips sounded spiteful, but Tony knew it was just his way of covering nerves.

"I'm confused."

"The normal state of affairs, I'm sure, Agent Barton," Loki replied.

"No," Clint answered, "I'm really confused – and a little bit creeped out. It was bad enough that you two were doing the nasty, but this?"

Loki had his hand around Clint's throat before any of them could stop him, he lifted the archer into the air, a snarl on his lips, "You dare to insult us – to insult our child? I could snap you like a twig."

"Loki," Tony said gently, "put the nice man down. He was just being Clint. And we'll put something nasty in his coffee for that jab about our baby. Believe me. He's gonna pay for that."

With a growl, Loki released Clint; none too gently, but then, Tony figured Hawkeye deserved a little bump on the behind right now.

"Does Thor know?" Bruce asked hesitantly.

"Yeah," Tony half-smiled, half-grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck, "we used the mirror," so weird, to talk about a mirror like it was a cell phone, "to talk to him in Asgard."

"And it went...?"

Thor had basically turned into a statue. Tony thought there was something wrong with the mirror's magicky hoodoo, but Loki just sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Breathe Thor – you look like a breeding bilgesnipe when you freeze-up like that."

Tony did not want to know how Loki knew what a breeding bilgesnipe looked like.

"I am sorry my dearest brother – it was simply a shock. But, yes! YES! WHEN is the WEDDING dear brother?"

Tony hadn't thought the conversation could get more awkward – but life was full of surprises when you were talking to your pregnant alien boyfriend's brother.

"It went relatively well..." Tony told Bruce, "although when we told him we weren't engaged, just having a baby, I was very glad that he was on another planet."

"You're not engaged?" Cap asked, with that paternal scorn which he seemed to have mastered sometime in the 30s or 40s, "Tony, really? You're going to let him struggle with this without doing the honourable thing? I'm disappointed in you soldier."

Tony turned to Widow, "Did he just actually say that?"

"Yup."

"OK. Just checking. Couldn't quite believe it for a moment there."

"What I can't believe," Cap chipped in, "is that you are being so irresponsible and quite plainly insulting to your young man!"

"I'M NOT READY TO GET MARRIED!" A bolt of energy rushed around the room, knocking out one of the lights; everyone was quiet for a moment, "Oopsie!" Loki giggled, turning to Tony, "Tony, what's for dinner?"