At long last, the newest chapter of this story is finished. I'm sorry for the wait, it has been a chaotic few months for me, since I had to find a new place to live on short notice and put off school for a year. That being said, now that things have settled down, I hope to be able to write more frequently. Since I'm still pretty busy with my job, my goal is to release a new chapter at least once a month, so long as I have the time and inspiration.

Also, just as a warning, I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but it had to be written in order to advance the plot and Blaise's relationships with the characters, so I decided to write this chapter now so that I could continue writing while I had the time, and then I will go back to edit it later, so please let me know what you guys think I should change, since, while I know the problems that I have with this chapter, I don't know what your problems with be.

When Blaise finally got back to the Shinsengumi headquarters, even she was amazed by the fuss that was being caused by her disappearing act. Whatever it was that those men were on the other night, the Shinsengumi definitely doesn't want anyone finding out about it. How did they get it if not from someone in Japan? Could they have made it themselves? But they don't strike me as the science types. Well, maybe Sannan-san . . .

Shaking off these thoughts, Blaise focused on the scene in front of her. Now that she was closer, she could hear Hijikata ordering the various captains, all of whom were gathered at the gate, to form pairs and search for her. Slightly uncertain about whether she should be pleased that she warranted the efforts of their strongest members, or insulted that they believed she would leave Bella, Blaise nevertheless thought that she should probably clue them into her presence before they actually went off in search of her. Stepping a little closer to avoid raising her voice, Blaise said, "Y'know, if you guys need to form search parties just to figure out I'm here, I'm really worried about the future of the Shinsengumi."

Rather than being met with any sort of amusement, Blaise was only able to look at the somber faces around her for a moment before they once more formed a unit around her and led her in the direction of what she was quickly realising was their main meeting room. As she was swept into memories of when she had first been taken to their headquarters, Blaise began to wonder if perhaps she had underestimated how upset the captains would be with her little escapade.

If they're going this far to keep those men a secret, then whatever they're into has to be hella secret. Definitely dangerous with how those guys acted when I came across them. But it's not like there are drug laws in this time period. Are there?

Blaise wondered about this for a few moments before realising that things could go very badly for her from here on out. All of the men surrounding her wore expressions that ranged from worried to resigned to angry in Hijikata's case. Even Sano, Shinpachi and Heisuke, some of the most happy-go-lucky men she'd met in her life, looked grim.

Once more, Blaise was seated in the center of their meeting room, wondering if they really thought she would leave her sister behind. Okay, she could admit that maybe they might have believed she'd already done that today, but shouldn't the fact that she'd come back prove those ideas wrong.

Following that line of thought, Blaise began to wonder where Bella was. Was she still with Inoue? Or . . .

Forcibly pushing that thought from her mind, Blaise asked, "Excuse me, but where is Bella?"

Surprisingly, considering that she had directed her question towards Kondou, it was Okita who responded. "You sound awfully concerned about her."

Barely keeping herself from glaring at the insufferable man - she had enough issues to deal with without letting her distaste show - Blaise responded in what she believed to be a civil enough tone, "Obviously I'm concerned, considering that she's the only reason I'm here."

Blaise was actually shocked when she saw anger flash in his eyes. "So now you're blaming her for your bad luck."

Cutting off whatever he was about to say, she snapped, "I never said that." Gathering as much calm as she could, Blaise continued. "I simply meant that the only reason I came back after slipping away from Susumu was because Bella is still here in your headquarters. Or at least, I hope so," Blaise turned to Kondou with her last sentence.

"Yes, Bella-chan is still being looked after by Gen-san," Kondou said.

He looked as though he would have continued, but Hijikata had apparently had enough of the small talk. "The girl is not the matter that we are here to discuss. Explain to us why it is that you abandoned your escort and went around on your own."

Blaise considered for a moment whether she could still play innocent before realising that she'd already given too much away. She wasn't quite sure what it was about Okita, but he never failed to take away her ability to think, and act, rationally. She had planned to at least start this meeting with some kind of bullshit excuse, and then he'd started talking- Oh wait, now she remembered, it was the fact that he continually used her sister as a means to an end.

Closing her eyes, Blaise forced herself to focus. And ignore the annoying soon-to-be-dead redhead. Deciding that her best bet was to find out what they had planned, she said calmly, "I had some business to take care of by myself."

Hijikata drew in and let out a breath before asking, "And that business would be?"

Raising a brow, Blaise stated, "Telling you that would defeat the entire purpose of sneaking away in the first place."

To this, Hijikata clenched his jaw so hard Blaise was a little surprised she didn't hear his teeth crack. Before he could launch into whatever tirade he was obviously building up to, Sannan asked, "And who did you meet with in order to accomplish this business?"

Holding back a snort, Blaise just looked at him, causing an impromptu staring contest to break out between the two. The two held each other's eyes for a few minutes before Blaise realised that this meeting would never end if things continued this way. Sighing, Blaise broke eye contact and asked calmly, "Why do you want to know?"

For a second, Blaise thought that Sannan might call her out on her obvious stalling method. But then Kondou decided to butt back in, "We simply wish to make sure that you didn't tell anyone about what you saw the other night. So, if you would simply allow us to verify this, then this business could be put behind us."

Once more, Blaise found herself staring at a leader of the Shinsengumi, though rather than it being in animosity, this was from shock. Does he really think it's that simple? Even if I did do that, Hijikata and Sannan would never trust me again. And why should they? With the information I've given them, they can assume that I promised Kaoru that I would keep our lessons secret. For me to give that up so easily would translate to me also being unable to keep their secret.

And if I don't tell them, they'll have two options: kill me now, or torture me until I talk and then kill me. It's what I'd do.

Holding in a sigh, Blaise tried to figure out what to do. Way easier said than done. I've only got two options here, and neither of them look very promising. If I tell them, I'll die at a ripe old age in their compound, and if I don't tell them, I die a whole lot sooner.

Even though I basically planned to go along with the first option until I could escape, it won't work. After this stunt, Hijikata and Sannan will never let their guards down enough for me to get out.

Hell, there has to be a third option here. What can I do without answering them? Fuck around and hope they forget? That'd work with Kondou, but the rest of them would never let this go. Tell them I don't give a crap about their secret? Nope, already tried that.

Not seeing any other options that had even a slight chance of success, Blaise opened her eyes - when had she closed them? - and tuned back into the conversation. Only to find it going worse than she had thought. Damn, Sannan works fast. Gotta derail the interrogation talk. Quickly.

And how do I do that? They don't seem to be in very reasonable moods. At that thought, Blaise blinked slowly. Wait, reason. This whole time, they've been going on the assumption that I've either been a spy this whole time, or I became one after they caught me. But logic says that neither of those two things is true.

Blaise wished she could take a few more minutes to think about what she was about to say, and how it could affect things down the road, but with Hijikata and Sannan quickly selling Kondou on their next course of action, she didn't exactly have the time.

Clearing her throat, Blaise cut Hijikata off, still finding a small bit of amusement at the irritation that flashed across Hijikata's face. "Uh, guys. If you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if we could all pretend for a few minutes that the whole world doesn't revolve around your group and the dirty little secret all of you are hiding."

"What do you mean, Abe-kun?" Kondou asked, with the most confused look on his face that Blaise had ever seen. Seriously, how old is this guy? He's like a child.

Shaking her head slightly to clear it of thoughts like those, Blaise explained, "Look, since this meeting has started, and pretty much since I met your group as a whole, you guys have been operating under the assumption that I was either spying on you guys the night I ran into Saito-san and Okita, or that I started spying on you after that night. Correct?" Blaise said the last word almost lazily.

She got about the response that she was looking for from the captains: Sano, Shinpachi and Heisuke looked a little guilty; Saito looked impassive; Kondou looked like a little boy who'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar; and Hijikata, Sannan, Yamazaki and Okita looked like they were trying to figure out what she was trying to get out of this.

Blaise took their silence, as telling as it was, as permission for her to continue. "You guys have been so focused on those two possibilities that I bet you've thought of every possible way it could happen. In fact, the one thing you haven't thought about is what I would get out of either of those situations.

"Let's say that I was spying on you that night in the alley. First off, why would I do that? All of you know that I only want to protect my sister, and spying is one of the most dangerous jobs in the world. If I did spy on someone, either I'd end up getting killed and Bella would never know what happened to me, or someone would follow me back to her and both of us would end up dead. Additionally, who the hell would I tell? I was in this city for less than a day; I didn't exactly have the time to become attached enough to a person or cause to risk my life for them, or to even meet up with someone who I could give the information to in the first case.

"Admittedly, the second option has a bit more merit. I'm not exactly happy that I got dragged in here and am being forced to stay, so yeah, I could see myself spying on you, but even then, what would I get out of it? I mean sure, there's the pleasure of seeing the people who have been making my life difficult suffer, but you seem to be ignoring the problems that that scenario would cause for me. Let's say that today I went out and I told anyone who would listen about those guys I saw and the Shinsengumi as a whole gets in trouble. Well first off, I'm a member of the Shinsengumi, at least in the eyes of the people, meaning I'd probably get the same punishment as the rest of you; I'd literally be hurting myself at the same time I'm hurting you, and that's not exactly something that I get off on. And that would only happen if they believed that I actually saw something like that, rather than just assuming that I'm just another nut job."

Blaise was happy to see the stupefied looks on some of the men's faces as they thought about what she had said. Looks like I may just get out of this yet.

And then, in the same way that clouds will always gather before a storm, Okita just had to rain on her parade. "Oh, but I'm sure that there's plenty of other things that you could tell them about us," the man practically purred.

Grinding her teeth, Blaise forced out, "Like what?"

"Our security measures, when we change out guards, oh the list just goes on when it comes to someone as observant as you," he told her with a purr.

That little shit. Blaise took a few seconds to fume before she took action to prevent Okita from completely unraveling the progress she had just made. "Okita-san," Blaise spat the honorific through gritted teeth, "you seem to be forgetting a very important part to this argument: what I would get out of it."

Blaise really felt the urge to punch his teeth in as the man just looked at her with an arrogant smirk on his face. "Well, Abe-kun, I didn't mention it because I believed that it would be obvious," Okita said as though he he was speaking to a small child. "If you gave them information about our security, then they could launch an attack against us, giving you two things that you want: revenge and freedom. In a large scale conflict, it would be easy for you to sneak away, and, if the attack was large enough, it could take us several days to sort through all the bodies and realise that you were gone. Not to mention, the chance that several of us captains could potentially be killed as well."

"But it would also cost me the thing that I want the most in this world," she snapped, satisfied by the surprise that she saw in Okita's eyes. Forcing down her temper, Blaise turned back to the commanders, knowing that they were the ones who she'd really have to convince. "Look, the reason that I wouldn't want to give information about your secret away is because I want my sister to be safe, right? And that is, in case you haven't noticed, more important to me than some petty revenge."

At the captains' hesitant - and grudging, in some cases - nods, Blaise continued. "So, if I want my sister to be safe, then how would causing a battle to break out right in front of her get me what I want? I mean, sure, if I knew when the attack was coming, I could hide her away in our room without inviting too much suspicion, but what then? Any halfway decent attackers would know to check all the rooms and odds are at least one of them would attack us, either because they didn't trust me as a traitor to you guys, or because they simply didn't recognise me. And if I tried to sneak away during the attack itself, then I'd definitely be attacked by someone who, either because of a genuine misunderstanding or the heat of the moment, wouldn't recognise me. Either way, Bella would get dragged into a conflict where she could easily be harmed. So, there's no real reason for me to spy on you as long as she is here."

"That is a valid point," Sannan conceded, ignoring the almost betrayed look Hijikata sent his way. "However, it doesn't prove or disprove anything. If you would kindly tell us your whereabouts from earlier, we could put this whole thing to rest," he offered calmly.

Resisting the urge to make a snide comment as the man managed to make all the captains virtually forget about the progress she'd made in less than thirty seconds - damn, did she hate it when he and Okita worked together - Blaise tried to think of a compromise that would make everyone happy. Ignoring Hijikata's attempts to get her to speak, she closed her eyes, focusing on everything she knew about the captains of the Shinsengumi and all that she'd told them about herself.

After nearly five minutes, during which Hijikata looked as though he was very close to punching her to get her attention, Blaise slowly drew in a breath and opened her eyes. "To be clear, all of you who are here trust Su-Yamazaki, correct?"

All of the captains nodded, though Hijikata glared at her, snapping, "I hardly see how that has anything to do with this situation."

"Quite a bit, actually," Blaise said, before taking in another deep breath, reminding herself that angry comments and snappy retorts would only make things worse, not better. Once she felt completely in control of herself, or as close to it as she could come with Sannan and Okita virtually circling her like a couple of sharks waiting for her to make the one mistake that would let them move in for the kill, she calmly explained, "You see, the person that I met this morning, and intend to continue to meet, wishes to keep said meetings private. However, this person has never said that they only wish for me and them to know about our meetings. As a result, while I believe that they would take issue with the entirety of the Shinsengumi's command knowing about our meetings, I also believe that they would be amenable to the idea of one other person sitting in on our meetings. In exchange for this concession, I would wish for the person who performs this duty to give me their word that they would not discuss my meetings with anyone who does not take part in said meetings unless he comes to the conclusion that these meetings could somehow jeopardise the safety or integrity of the Shinsengumi.

"Of course this person would have to meet the requirements of both being available at the times when we will be meeting, being loyal enough to the Shinsengumi that you all would believe that he would never turn his back on you, and being honorable enough that I would believe that he would not break his word to me and tell you about my meetings. As my originally assigned watcher, it is a given that Yamazaki would have the time to watch my meetings, as well as possessing your trust, making him the most logical choice for this assignment."

"You also stated that he would need to have your trust in order to complete this task," Sannan stated probingly.

Resisting the urge to fidget, due to both the discomfort of all of the men in the room suddenly staring at her, as well as the uncomfortable realisation that was being forced on her: did she actually, after all that had happened, still trust any member of the Shinsengumi?

For a moment, Blaise considered giving the flippant answer that would most likely end with her getting what she wanted. But as she was opening her mouth, she realised that her heart was wavering due to Sannan's question.

Pausing, Blaise focused on everything that she currently thought about the man who may very well be her only chance of teaching her pupil. She remembered her first day staying with the Shinsengumi, the kinship she had felt with all of them. The sense of betrayal she had felt when, after everything that had occurred, she realised that Susumu had not only listened in on her private conversations, but had also very likely been the one to search through her belongings.

That feeling nearly overwhelmed her, before she recalled the seemingly genuine concern he had shown for her after her nightmare. Blaise could actually feel her heart being pulled in two directions as she thought about all that had happened in the past week. The rational, wary part of her that had learned over all these years to never trust anyone was telling her to do whatever it took to get away from these people before they betrayed her.

However, the softer, more emotional half, the part that was still a teenage girl that longed for the love of a family and friends, and had been steadily gaining strength and flourishing during her time with the Abes, longed for the feeling of companionship she had naively felt on that first day. Even though she knew that it was foolish, Blaise couldn't help but feel that the captains of the Shinsengumi could give her something that no one else had ever been able to give her: understanding. Complete and absolute understanding.

Don't get her wrong, Blaise knew that the Abes and Bella would both support and defend her to the best of their abilities, and they would listen to and accept any stories of her past that she chose to give. But they didn't understand. People like them, who had always lived on the right side of the law, and had never intentionally harmed another human being, simply didn't know what it was like to kill other people, to torture them, or to turn a blind eye and allow another human being to undergo a fate that may have actually been worse than death. Sure, they may understand, in an intellectual sense, the reasons that she had for doing the things she had, but they could never truly know the feeling of soul deep self-loathing that came with betraying one's own conscience, the horror and grief that came with taking another's life for the first time, the guilt that came with living on comfortably while your victim was either dead or in so much pain that they would prefer the nothingness of death. Ordinary people had never experienced these things, and so they could not understand them, not truly.

But, right from that first night, when Blaise had been forced to run from Saito and Okita, she had seen it in their eyes, the grim determination to do whatever it took to survive and complete their orders, even if it went against their own sense of honor, or put them in a position where they would become little more than beasts. And they weren't the only ones who had that look. All of the captains of the Shinsengumi had that same look in their eyes that Blaise recognised oh so well, because she had seen it in her own eyes far too often, whenever she looked in the mirror after being ordered to do something truly heinous. And it was that exact recognition that made her want to get closer to these men, to treat them as companions, as friends who had gone through hardships similar to her own.

Blaise had known this ever since she first came to the Shinsengumi headquarters, but, up until this moment when she truly had to pay attention to the emotions that she so regularly suppressed, she hadn't realised how truly overpowering that desire was. But now that she had realised it, she found herself in an even greater dilemma. Before this revelation, she could easily give them the most convenient answer and not feel even an ounce of remorse. But now that she had hesitated and become aware of her own feelings, it became much more difficult for her to do so, as it would mean that she would have to once more suppress the desires in her heart, something that she had become unaccustomed to doing during her stay with the Abes.

She almost felt these two conflicting desires rip her apart, as the pressure to make a decision pressed down on her, growing increasingly heavy. As all the events that had happened during her time with the Shinsengumi flashed through her mind, all the tentative bonds formed and the bitter betrayal, other memories started to flood her mind; the memories from early in her career as a bodyguard, back when she was still genuinely shocked that the people she had taken as her comrades would willingly throw her to the wolves for the sake of their own desires; the look of disbelief on the face of every person she had befriended just in order to kill later; the pain in the eyes of those who had lost their loved ones by her hand; and, finally, one last memory came to her, from long before any of the rest. Blaise remembered her family, not just her parents, but all the rest of the students from her father's class. She remembered training alongside them, sharing meals with them, the subtle, almost unnoticeable feeling of warmth that she'd felt when she was with them.

As more and more of these happy memories pushed themselves into her mind, the young girl was forced to fight back tears as the pain that they brought her also came back. And, while Blaise wasn't certain if she'd really made a decision, about what to do from now on, about the Shinsengumi, or even about herself, she still, spurred on by the memories flashing through her mind, opened her eyes and cutting straight through what Hijikata had been nearly shouting at her, said, simply and calmly, "I am willing to let Yamazaki accompany on my outings, as a consequence of my tacit agreement to follow your rules while I am here. However, remember that, by having him come with me, you are also agreeing to abide by my conditions."

For a moment, none of the captains said anything, seemingly stunned by Blaise's sudden change in attitude, not to mention the fact that all of them had begun to wonder if the boy was somehow rendered mute by their interrogation. But looking at the determined expression on the boy's be take as he said this, they decided that it would be better not to question him on what he was thinking about, particularly since they knew how unlikely it was that he would be forthcoming.

While the rest of the captains were trying to figure out what was going on in the young man's head at the moment, and three in particular were trying to figure out a way to turn this whole conversation back on him, Kondou spoke up.

"Of course we will honor our word to you. Both you and Yamazaki-kun are valued members of our unit. None of us would ever try to break the bond between you."

Before anyone else could launch in some kind of condition to Kondou's agreement, Blaise quickly said, "In that case, I will trust that your honor, Kondou-san, will ensure that the terms we've reached will be kept in good faith."

Watching the frustration cross so many of the men's faces, Blaise knew that her gamble was correct. Even those who would like to press Susumu for information, wouldn't want to do so at the expense of Kondou's oh-so-sacred honor. Or at least, they wouldn't do so as long as she didn't push the boundaries too far. Blaise knew very well that things like honor and loyalty were easily broken once things were pushed too far, particularly when one of the people involved in such things wasn't really trusted at all, so she would take care not to toe the line too much, else Susumu would likely decide that his honor didn't matter in the face of the Shinsengumi's continued survival.

And in the meantime, she would see whether or not she could really trust these men, or if she would have to forge an escape route. She wasn't foolish enough to believe that just because her near-execution had been postponed, it had also been forgotten.