This time, Lithuania's thoughts during the Soviet Union era.
I can tell you are concerned about me. I know you wait up each night to bring me back to safety, to drag me away from danger. And I know that you want me to talk about all this.
Maybe one day I'll feel like I can but today is not that day, neither is tomorrow. It's easy for you to say that I'll feel better once I spill all my regrets and problems, but whenever I even consider admitting to you that I am suffering the words are held back. I don't want to burden you with this - you don't deserve this.
I wish I could tell you that I'm not fine, and that I need your support. Instead, I push you away. I don't know why you still stand by my side, I don't deserve anything. I caused all this. If I was stronger, I wouldn't be this broken. I'm supposed to look after you and Raivis but I can't even look after myself.
I'm scared. Really scared. I hate having to put on a brave face. I know you're scared too, and that you're trying to be brave so that I don't completely lose it.
I made him promise not to hurt you. He's a man of his word, I trust him to leave you two alone. That's all I trust him for. He's twisted by this crazy empire. He isn't a bad man, but all this chaos is driving him insane. That's why I'm hurt. He can't handle all these strong emotions that are happening right now, so he strikes out. What really hurts is how I used to admire him and his power, now he's completely losing it. You should hear him sometimes, I think he really needs a break. Until this all falls apart, I am the break. I'm his stress relief.
As much as I hate this, I can't let him stop. I have to think about the bigger picture of all the people he'll crush if I push him away. Ivan is as fragile as I am right now. That's why he chose me. He sees himself in me. I just hope that part of him he sees in me is so small that I would never do this to anyone close to me.
I promise that I will protect you, just as I made him promise not to touch you. If it drives me insane or kills me a hundred times, you will not be harmed.
Eduard, you will be safe. You and Raivis won't ever have to know what pain is, I'll make sure of that.