Disclaimer: I don't own glee

Chapter 6: Let the memory live again

A couple of wine bottles later, midnight rang out and it was time to exchange gifts. Rachel smiled when she saw Santana had bought two presents just like her.

"So, who goes first?" Rachel asked cheerfully as they settled on the couch.

"Since we both bought two gifts, open mine first then I'll open yours and then back to mine again." Santana declared as she handed her the first present.

The diva nodded before grabbing the present. She smiled as she put it on her lap and started unwrapping it. She glanced at Santana who looked slightly nervous. She stopped and reached for her friend's hand to squeeze it. "Whatever this is, I'm sure I'll like it."

The Latina rolled her eyes. "Whatever, just open it."

The brunette giggled before opening the present. It was photo book full of pictures of them. There were photographs from high school, from their time in the loft, just the two of them or with Kurt and a few pictures taken during their glee reunions the past 7 years. Around the pictures, there were a lot of notes, quotes of things they said, private jokes they had or words about things they shared. As the girl slowly turned the pages, she could see the journey of their relationship and it brought tear to her eyes. Santana must have put a lot of thought and time into it. "Santana…" She breathed out. "It'… I…"

"Do you like it?" The raven-haired girl asked, almost shyly as she scratched behind her ear.

"I love it. It's so sweet and personal and I'm really touched by the gesture." The petite girl put the book onto the coffee table before hugging the girl tightly. "Thank you, it's an amazing gift."

The tan girl sighed in relief as she hugged her friend back. "Well, duh, it's coming from me."

Rachel chuckled and wiped the few tears that had rolled down her face before pulling away. "Your turn now." She grabbed the first gift and gave it to her friend.

"Don't tell me it's a musicals collection because I think I'll "forget" it here." The former cheerleader joked as she opened the present.

The Broadway star slapped the Latina's arm. "Shut up and open it."

"Wow…" Santana exclaimed after tearing off the wrapping paper. It was a collection of old and new vinyls of Nina Simone, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Whitney Houston, Amy Winehouse, Adele and some others. "Some of them are old, how did you get them? I mean, it's not like you were expecting my visit…"

The Jewish girl smiled. "I'm friends with the owner of a music store. Once I knew you'd be spending Christmas with me, I thought about what I could get you. I know that after a long day, you like to put some records on the platine to relax. So I gave my friend a call and asked him to find you the best vinyls…"

The Latina grinned and hugged the girl. "Thank you, I can't wait to listen to them." She reached for the other gift. "Open this one now."

Rachel took a sip of her drink before opening the second present. "Oh my… where did you get this?" It was a limited edition of The Sound of Music dedicated by Julie Andrews.

"Funny story actually…" The tan girl smiled. "I have a friend who works for a production company. He told me they were about to release a limited edition for Christmas so I kind of pulled some strings to get it first. I never thought I'd get it signed but I guess I was lucky. I had this charity event just before I came here and Julie was there. So I talked to her, she's amazing and I told her about you and how I wanted to give you the DVD. She saw one of your shows and she said you were pretty good."

The Broadway star squealed. "Seriously?"

"Yes." The Latina chuckled. "She offered to sign it and she even left you a note."

The diva quickly opened the DVD to read the note. "Oh my god…"

"Please, don't cry…"

"I'm trying but you did all this for me when we are not as close as we were before, you… you're amazing…" The brunette said, her voice full of emotions.

"It's no big deal." The raven-haired girl replied awkwardly.

"It is!" The petite girl insisted.

"Whatever, now give me my gift." The former cheerleader unwrapped her second gift and saw a small jewellery box. She raised her eyebrow. "You know, I should be wooed before you propose, I'm not easy."

Rachel giggled. "Don't be silly, open the box."

When she opened the box, Santana gasped. "Oh my god…" She traced the necklace with her fingers. It was a thin gold chain with a ballerina. "It looks like…"

"Like the one you wanted when you officially moved in with me and Kurt." The diva finished. She remembered how they were shopping together, at her request, because she wanted some bonding time with Santana and how the Latina had stopped dead in her tracks when she spotted the necklace in the window. It was expensive so the girl decided to save money to buy it but by the time she had enough, it was gone. Rachel had a feeling it was fate to find it. "I guess it was like you, I got lucky. I was wandering in the mall when I saw this new vintage shop. I was intrigued so I took a look inside and it instantly caught my eye. I know it's not exactly the same but…" She nervously put some of her hair behind her ear.

"I don't care if it's not the same, it's beautiful." The taller girl removed the necklace from the box and handed it to Rachel. "Can you put it on me?" She turned her back and put her hair to the side.

"Of course!" The brunette took a deep breath before clipping the necklace around her friend's neck.

"So does it look good?" The Latina asked as she turned around.

On an unconscious impulse, the petite girl left her hand and brushed her fingers on the necklace. "Yes…" She looked up at Santana who had her face close to hers. As they stared into each other eyes, the air shifted. She heard Santana's breath hitch before the girl abruptly stood up.

"I'm just gonna grab another cookie, so… hum… yeah…" The raven-haired girl fast walked toward the kitchen.

"San, wait." The Broadway star gently grabbed her by the elbow to stop her. "Are you okay? Did I say or do something wrong?"

Santana sighed and looked at the ceiling. That was when she noticed they were beneath the mistletoe. "Great…"

Rachel frowned, following her friend's sight. "Oh…" She was about to say something when she felt Santana's lips on hers. She instinctively closed her eyes. A feeling of déjà vu dawn on her before another flashback hit her.

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'After finishing their last bottle of wine, the girls moved to Rachel's room. They lay on the bed and kept talking about nothing and everything.

Suddenly Rachel stated. "I want to get married and have kids too, you know. I want 2, I think it's the right number." She drunkenly nodded to herself.

"Oh my god, Berry, are you back on a conversation we had hours ago? Wait, why 2?" Santana asked.

"Because I was an only child and it was lonely sometimes so I want my child to have a sibling but 3 is too much, not just for me to handle but also because there is always one who feels left out…" The diva explained.

The Latina stayed silent for a few minutes before blurting out. "I'm scared to end up alone too… Sometimes, I wish I could see the future to know that everything will be okay…"

The brunette reached for her friend's hand and squeezed it. "You won't, and you want to know why? Because behind this bitchy persona you show to the world is a wonderful and sweet woman who deserves happiness."

"You know what, Rachel? You're not so bad after all." The tan girl confessed. "We make a good team of desperate women. I'll come back to you in a few years and tell you how it all went, okay. And if I'm still single, I'll burn a few of your playbills."

The Jewish girl gasped. "You won't do such a thing, Santana Lopez!" She fell silent until an idea came into her mind. Her eyes went wide before a huge smile graced her face. "Wait, that's a wonderful idea!"

"What?" The taller girl asked confused.

"Meeting each other again in a few years!" Rachel explained.

The raven-haired frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"We should make a pact!" The diva declared happily.

"Oh no…" Santana shook her head. "Making a pact with you is a terrible idea."

The brunette sat up to face her friend. "No wait, let me finish."

The Latina rolled her eyes. "Fine…"

"We should make the pact that if we are still single by… I don't know, let's say 27, we should marry each other." The brunette smiled proudly.

The former cheerleader blinked before bursting out laughing. "Are you serious? You're drunk, Berry!"

"No, well yes, a little but that's not the point, I'm still serious about this." The petite girl insisted.

"What makes you think it would work?" The raven-haired girl questioned. "And you're not even gay."

The Jewish girl ignored her and kept explaining. "Just keep an open mind. You said I have a lot of great qualities that would make me a good and attentive partner. I have heard great things about you as a girlfriend and you are sweet, charming and loyal, at least when you want to. So you have the qualities required to be a loving wife…"

"Okay you're really crazy." Santana declared. "I'm taking back all the nice things I said."

"Santana, be serious." Rachel pouted.

"Rachel, please, I'm sure you'll find a nice husband sooner than you think. And why 27, why not 30 or more?" The Latina inquired.

"It fits my life plan." The diva answered matter-of-factly.

"Okay, no, you're not crazy, you're insane!" The tan girl exclaimed as she sat up.

"No but when I mean getting married, it's not right away." The brunette clarified. "But get together and after a couple years get married."

The taller girl chuckled. "Oh my god, do I even have a say in this?"

The petite girl smiled. "Just say, yes, Rachel Berry, I would love to marry you someday." She extended her hand to seal the deal.

The raven-haired girl laughed. She stared at Rachel then at her hand for a moment. "You're ridiculous…" She shook her head at the silliness of the situation. "But whatever, I'm sure we'll both have someone by then so the pact will be useless…"

The Jewish girl grinned. "Is that a yes?"

"Yes, Rachel Berry, I would love to marry you someday even though it will never happen." Santana shook Rachel's hand before laughing again. "I think after that, we should call it a night. I'm gonna get ready for bed, you should too." She stood up and made her way toward the bathroom.

"Yes, you're right." Rachel followed her but stopped the girl when she stepped underneath the mistletoe.

"What? What's wrong?" The Latina asked. The brunette simply pointed at the mistletoe. "You can not be serious?" She chuckled.

"It's the tradition." The diva replied as she turned her head to offer her cheek.

The tan girl smirked before cupping Rachel's cheek and kissing her on the lips. "Here, some Christmas gayness, Berry." She smacked the girl's ass and laughed as she headed to the bathroom.'

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Rachel took a step back as soon as she focused back on the present.

Santana looked at her friend in panic. "Oh my god, Rachel, I'm sorry, I didn't want to…"

The diva touched her lips lightly. Everything made sense now. She had fallen in love with Santana a little bit that night and that was what opened up her sexuality. In her panic, she had shut it down and blocked everything out until she was ready to explore this side of herself. She looked at Santana with wide eyes.

"Rach, are you okay?" The Latina asked. "You're scaring me right now…"

The brunette felt a wave of panic rush over her and all she could think of was leave the apartment. She ran toward the door and grabbed her coat before going out.

"Rachel!" The raven-haired girl shouted as she ran after her. "Where are you going?"

"I can't, I'm sorry." The petite girl said as she kept walking, coat in hand.

The tan girl quickly caught her by the arm and stopped her. "Okay, just calm down. Let's go back inside and talk okay?"

"I…" The Broadway star started before crying.

Santana took the girl in her arms before leading her back inside the apartment. They both settled on the couch. "What's wrong?"

Rachel took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "I remember everything…"

The Latina stared at her friend, confused. "What do you remember?"

"Everything, our Christmas night, the dinner with Kurt and his boyfriend, our talks, the pact, I remember everything!" The Jewish girl admitted.

The former cheerleader blinked. "Oh…"

"I even remember the kiss. And now…" The brunette trailed off.

"Now what?" The tan girl questioned softly.

"Now I feel confused and lost…" The diva mumbled.

"Why?"

"Because I enjoyed that kiss back then and I buried everything inside because I couldn't accept the way I felt about you…" The petite girl confessed.

"Oh…" Santana mumbled.

Rachel sniffled. "Could you say something else?"

The Latina sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "I need to tell you something…"

"Okay." The Broadway star wiped the tears away from her eyes.

"I… I've had a thing for you for a while now." The former cheerleader mumbled. "It started when we were roommates but I thought you were straight and I didn't want to be another experiment for one of my friends so I buried everything just like you. I moved on with my life but when the date of your 27th birthday approached, I thought about our pact. I know you weren't really serious but it was just the perfect opportunity to really reconnect with you. I checked on facebook and asked around if you were single. I called Kurt to get some news and he told me you'd be alone for Christmas so I thought it was my chance, you know, especially after I learned that you had dated girls in the past…"

"I…I don't know what to say." The diva admitted.

"You don't have to say anything." The raven-haired girl assured. "I just… I don't know… I wanted to get it off my chest, I guess…"

"Okay…"

The tan girl frowned. "Okay?"

"I just need a minute to process everything." The brunette took a deep breath, trying to calm her beating heart.

"Okay… Do you want me to leave you alone for a bit?" The former cheerleader asked unsure.

"No, I need you to stay here." The petite girl's mind was going a mile a minute, trying to figure out what to think or what to do. She grabbed Santana's hand as a way to keep her grounded, intertwining fingers with her. Maybe she already knew deep down when she made that pact that she liked Santana as more than a friend. Maybe her drunk self had dared to lift the barrier her sober self refused to. Maybe in a desperate way to stay connected to Santana, she had made this pact, hoping that later, when she was ready, they would find their way back to each other. She had noticed in the past, the way the Latina looked at her when she thought she wasn't looking; it had let her think she would have a chance. Maybe it was why her past relationships never worked, because she was waiting for Santana… She gasped as the realisation hit her like a brick wall.

"Are you okay?" The taller questioned concerned.

The Jewish girl bit her lip. "I think… I think I have feelings for you too."

Santana's eyes went wide in surprise. "You think?" Her voice trembled at the confession.

Rachel shook her head. "No."

"No, you don't have feelings for me?" The Latina frowned again.

"No, I mean, I don't think. I know. I think I've always known, I just didn't know what to do with them."

"Oh okay…" The raven-haired looked at their intertwined hands. "And now?"

Rachel smiled as she looked at the mistletoe then at Santana. She put a finger under the Latina's chin to force her to look at her. Her smile grew wider as she leaned to kiss Santana. "Merry Christmas, future Mrs. Berry-Lopez."