(DUST) ALLERGY

Disclaimer: I do not own the Penguins of Madagascar, characters and episodes alike. But the idea is mine. So is the profile pic!

Heylo readers! If possible, please scroll down line by line while you read; don't unveil the entire story at one go. Thanks!

His lab is left dusty for a reason.

It's an excuse, he tells himself.

Okay, yes, he does get lazy sometimes so he rarely cleans his lab up. But that is only a shallow reason why the lab's quite disorganized and stuffy.

It is a cover up.

Kowalski likes to spend a significant portion of time in his cozy lab. His room in the vast habitat is special to him and allowed him to think well, where in other places contained many disturbances.

It allows him to stress and destress about things that concern him all-day long secretly, where in other places he would have vulnerable expressing himself.

Most of all, it provides a warmth where in other places he will not have found, such that he can cry and weep and lament to himself for hours on end.

Emotions that no one usually sees break through his walls of self control once he steps into his own room.

Tears of anger, sadness, rejection, betrayal, long-term pain were few of such emotions.

But Kowalski's line of job requires 24/7 preparedness. He cannot lower his guard too much as he can get a mission anytime.

Therefore, the genius, scientist and inventor comes up with a mental list of excuses. More convincing ones shall be used first - he instructs his future self.

-s-

It's one of those days again, when he's watching the random zoo patrons laughing together, giggling in amusement and his beak quivers and his legs shiver-

In short, Kowalski retreats to his lab to take a painful walk down memory lane and grieves over his past losses.

And then Skipper knocks the door.

Kowalski knows this routine too well. Almost too well.

10 steps to the basin, wash face, ready excuses, smoothen feathers in the mirror beside, answer door, sneeze!

"Ah Skipper! How can I help you?" Kowalski says as he sniffles again.

Skipper raises an eyebrow eyeing Kowalski. "I came to call you to watch TV with us, not to order fast food, compadre."

Kowalski smiles, cheering up a little, "I'd like to join you Skipper, but I need to find some parts for my latest work and I'm in the middle of my search so.. it's not advisable for me to join."

"Sneezing again?"

"Lab's dusty, again, sir."

"You ought to clean it up some time." Skipper makes small talk.

The leader tries not to show that he is not satisfied, but Kowalski knows Private too is disappointed, somewhere in the living room. Despite that convinces himself that being selfish right now is good. There is no mission, no one to rescue anyways!

There are just some days when he barely holds himself together, his walls shakey and threatening to collapse. Nothing very special or unique about that day, it just happens once every 3-4 months - whenever his heart feels like it cannot ignore and suppress the bubbling emotions any longer.

All Kowalski needs to do is go back into his lab and dive into his bunk, hide his ashamed face into his pillow and let out the feelings. Just sob, like nothing else except him's important at that moment. Talk to himself, argue with himself, plead with himself, whatever it takes just so that he can finally comfort himself.

Then that day would end, and he would change back to the happy little scientist resident of the Central Park Zoo and take care of his feelings until he collapses again. It's a cycle. Because deep down he's lonely. Also he doesn't have the same restraint Skipper has when it comes to feelings, remember?

Yup that's what Kowalski does. After a brief chat between the two, Skipper keeps the offer to join them for the evening open. However looking into each other's eyes, each know that the tall guy won't take up on that offer, not today.

The penguin closes his lab door and takes a few calming breaths. Tears began pooling in his eyes again, as he reminds himself of how lonely he is going to be for the rest of his life.

He staggers towards his bunk but he's too shakey and distracted.

He steals one look at the portrait - more than enough to send him to the floor weeping and trembling uncontrollably.

"Oh Doris, why, oh Doris!"

*crickets chirping* How was it guys? *blinks innocently*

I know, I didn't do any justice to Kowalski but he's the only one with a 'personal' room among the four penguins. Maybe not all of you out there have a room for yourself - sorry! But to those who have, I'm sure your room differs from other random rooms in your house, because you're the only person who owns it, right? That's what this fic is for.

*pause* guys...? *sigh* Alright, alright.

Nope, that's not my reason behind writing this fic. The cycle Kowalski is going through, I share it too. It is difficult to explain to my friends, especially because of some of my beliefs. But I don't cry uselessly, my inner monologue helps me learn something. I was -ahem- tearing up myself earlier today - that's when this idea was born. 4th plot bunny of the day mates! Boo yah!

Maybe some of you relate, some don't. Let me know your thoughts in your reviews, thanks!

so if anyone relates, i'll leave this helpful quote here
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

- thewriterstory
1 Dec 2015

This story sounded way more dramatic in my head.

Update: minor edits made.