This is Hogwarts First Ever Talent Show Extravaganza! The school is hosting a talent show on a Friday evening, the first ever with all the student body in attendance. This is a challenge to all of you! So good luck! And I'm requesting that male slash be kept out of this one. It's interesting to watch you squirm on a hook at the fact that Harry and Ron can't make out for their talent. *giggles* Though if Madam Hooch and Professor Sprout would like to...they may *winks* The requirements are as follows:


1. Hermione and Snape must both have an act in the show, either as separate or together, it's up to you.


2. Snape cannot be the MC of the show, however there must be one


3. A girl, either student or Professor, must kiss Snape at some point, in front of a large group of people.


4. The story must be an NC-17 rating



The story must also include mention or use of 9 or more of the following 15 things, bonus points if you use all of them:



*A tie-dyed thong

*A pineapple

*Three of Hogwarts Female Professors in an act in the talent show

*An exploding piece of candy

*A Mad Hatter's Tea Party

*One talking piece of art who will simply not shut up

*An overflowing bath tub, that will ultimately result some big disaster

*A Smiley Face Pillow that when squeezed says, "I See Doom and Gloom In Your Future"

*A Woman With Hair Longer Then Rapunzel, being cut short against her will.

*A Mysterious Blue Liquid, that must be drank by a main character at some point.

*A singing fish

*A Guest appearance by Hugh Grant…he's a wizard, friends with Minerva.

*Malfoy dressed up as a nun

*Someone bending a spoon

*The music from the X-files

You must also include the mention of at least fourteen of the following twenty lines. Some are character specific, some are not. Bonus points if you use all of them:




". . . nah you don't need it. . ." (spoken by Hermione)


". . . No Mr. Malfoy, my pants are NOT colored with a sharpie. . ." (spoken by Snape)


". . .I'm not gonna ask if you just said what I think you just said because I know it's what you just said. . ." (Spoken by Ron)


". . . Yeah I used to be the sixth Spice Girl. . ." (Spoken by Snape)


". . . Well you can gicha gicha your ya ya over here now Ms. Granger! What is the meaning of this?" (spoken by McGonagall)


". . .stick that in your pipe and smoke it!" (spoken by Hermione)


". . . well that's going to leave a mark in the morning. . ." (spoken by Ginny)


". . . don't you leave me high and dry!" (spoken by Madam Hooch)


"…oh no! Watch the pillows!" (spoken by Professor Flitwick)


"…now a tie-dye beard that would be most interesting…" (spoken by Professor Dumbledore)


"…and there goes the pope on a pogo stick…."


". . . a Weasley idea is a dangerous thing. . ."


". . . the water goes in my belly. . ."


"…I truly madly deeply love you…"


"…don't get scrappy with me!"


". . . damned if I do and damned if I don't, so what do you propose I do Ms. Granger?. . ." (spoken by a teacher)


". . . love? There's bubble gum in your hair."


". . .honestly Sybil, you're wearing enough trinkets to repurchase the island of Manhattan!"


". . . that'll happen when Neville passes Potions."


". . . I just love the smell of lizards in the morning. . ."

Do enjoy and mail all your entries to:

[email protected]


The person with the most points will win the contest...and the contest is a date with the lovely Professor Snape! (just as soon as I talk to him) And the date will be covered and featured in the Daily Prophet!

The more quotes/things you have the more points you get, and a bonus for most creative plot line, character use and title! The winner will be announced on February First! So that gives you guys just a bit short of a month to get this done! Good luck and have fun!

Maddie