Magnus blinked water out of his eyes, and stared at the pale face that was still looking at him worried. His raven hair was dripping water and he was soaking wet. "Did you… pull me out?" He asked, piecing the information together.
"What the hell were you doing!?" Alec shouted instead of answering, making the Warlock flinch. "You were practically dead! You…" his voice broke and he bit his lip balling his trembling hands into fists. "If I wasn't passing by just then…" he went on, his voice barely a whisper now. "Would you have saved yourself? Or would you have died? Being lost in the bottom of that lake forever? And I would never know… I would believe you left on another trip around the world or something… That you were enjoying your life… And you… You… You would be…" His voice broke again and he took a deep breath, unsuccessfully trying to hold back the tears that swam behind his eyes at the terrible thought.
"Alexander…" Magnus whispered, realising for the first time that the water on the boy's face wasn't lake water at all, but tears. "Why…? Why are you crying?" He muttered mostly to himself, but Alec heard him and turned his anguished blue eyes on him.
"Because I love you." He said with devastating honesty, staring in his cat-eyes. "And I can't even imagine existing in a world where you don't."
"You… love me…?"
"Stupid Warlock. Why else am I here?" He said softly, blushing, copying Magnus' past words, but not looking at him while doing so.
Magnus stared at him dumbfounded, not believing it. 'I thought you hated me…' he thought. 'After everything I put you through…' Alec still wouldn't turn to face him, or say anything else, so Magnus muttered, wishing to break the silence that had descended upon them. "I owe you my life Alexander… Ask me for whatever you want in return."
"I'm just glad you are alive… There is nothing else I want…" The Nephilim whispered, heartbroken.
"That can't be…" The Warlock said softly. "There must be something…"
"Don't mess with me Magnus…" Alec sighed wearily. "You know what I want."
"And why don't you ask for it?" He whispered.
"How can I…? I know you don't even want to look at me…" he trailed off, staring away in the distance.
"I'm looking at you now, am I not?" The older man said, his voice a gentle whisper. "You are the one looking away."
Alec sighed again, turning his blue eyes on him, pleading. "Please… Don't do this to me."
"Do what?" Magnus asked, not understanding.
"That." The boy did a vague gesture with his hands towards the Warlock. "Acting like you don't mind my presence. Acting like you don't hate me…"
"Alexander!" Magnus exclaimed, making him jump and look at him wide-eyed. "How can you say that? Do you really believe it?"
"Why do you sound so surprised? You did say you never wanted to see me again…"
Magnus sighed. "Alexander… Do you know why I was caught off-guard, allowing that thing to get me?" He asked, referring to the phouka.
"I know you don't like water… That you are afraid of drowning…" Alec muttered.
"That's true… But that's not what I meant. I meant how it could have got to me on the first place."
Alec just shook his head biting his lip again, the anguished look returning at the thought that Magnus almost died.
"I was thinking of you." He said simply and Alec gasped and looked at him.
"You… What? Why?" He said, staring at him.
"Because…" Magnus said, his voice warm as he reached out to cup Alec's cheek with his hand, brushing his thumb over the frozen boy's cheekbone. "Aku cinta kamu Alexander…" He whispered, looking into his sapphire eyes.
Alec unconsciously leaned in to his touch, before pulling himself back to reality and shaking his head. Magnus' hand fell limply at his side. "You said that before…" The Nephilim whispered. "Before breaking up with me."
"Alexander…" He called his name anguished, reaching out to take his hand.
Even though Alec wanted nothing more than to touch him, he pulled it away. "Why are you torturing me Magnus? You already made it clear it's over between us. What else do you want from me?"
"Do you want it to be over…?"
"That was your choice… I didn't get a say then, why do you care about what I want now?" A gust of wind blew, and Alec shivered, wrapping his arms around himself.
Magnus waved his hand, blue sparks escaping his fingertips, and a blue fleece blanket fell over Alec's trembling form.
"Magnus… Did you even listen to me?" The boy said, taking the blanket off despite the cold he felt.
"Please keep it on…" The Warlock whispered sadly. "I don't want you to get sick because of me."
"Fine…" he sighed, pulling the blanket back over his shoulders "Thank you…"
They sat there for a few more moments, when finally Magnus broke the silence again. "I'm sorry…"
The Shadowhunter slowly raised his eyes on him. "What for?" he asked lifelessly.
"For everything. For hurting you, for not listening to you… But most of all, I'm sorry I let you go."
His heart skipped a beat, but he didn't allow himself to hope. "It doesn't matter anymore… You were right. My mistake was too much to forgive. And even though I would never do anything to hurt you, I ended up doing exactly that. I can't blame you for sending me away." He sighed again, and dropped the blanket, getting up. Magnus hastily got on his feet too.
"Alec! Where are you going?"
"Back to the institute. You don't have to tell me to leave again…" 'I can't take it a second time…' "Goodbye Magnus… Please be more careful next time…" He whispered, fighting to keep his voice steady, and turning his back on him with difficulty, started to walk away.
"Alexander! Wait!" He grabbed his hand, and Alec froze.
Feeling Magnus' warm touch was giving him hope even though he knew he shouldn't have any. He knew hope was going to break him. "Please Magnus… Let me go…"
"No." The Warlock strengthened his grip on him "I didn't live so long by repeating the same mistakes twice. I'm not letting you go again."
"Why? I know you don't want me anymore!" Alec snapped, turning to face him at last.
"You know nothing!" Magnus shouted back, pulling his hand with a sudden motion that caused the Shadowhunter to lose his balance and fall on his arms. "I love you! I always had, I always will."
"I don't believe you…" Alec muttered, his face buried in his chest, weakly hitting him with his free hand as the Warlock held him tightly against him. "How could you? You cast me away."
Magnus let go of the Nephilim's hand and gently but firmly gripped his shoulders, pulling him a little back to look at his face. "Alexander…" he whispered, but the boy dropped his eyes. "Please look at me." He only shook his head in denial. "Very well then." He said letting go of his shoulders to frame his pale face with his hands and turning him to look into his eyes. "It's not your fault. After all I did, I understand why you wouldn't believe me… But if you won't believe my words, maybe this will convince you." Still holding his face between his hands, he leaned down slowly, never looking away from his eyes, and crashed their lips together.
Alec froze once more, looking at him wide-eyed, but then surrendered himself to the kiss, tangling his fingers in Magnus' dark wet hair and pulling him closer. After minutes of desperate kissing, of trying to convey all of their feelings for each other into the simple, but powerful gesture, they reluctantly pulled away from each other. Alec looked into that pair of emerald cat-eyes he adored so much and then the reality of everything hit him again and he jerked back from him biting his lip. "Magnus…" He whispered, the pain evident in his voice.
"I love you." The Warlock repeated steadily. "I cannot live without you, I was a fool to think I could. Please forgive me."
His blue eyes widened. "Do you mean that?"
"I do. Please Alexander… Stay with me." The Shadowhunter was staring at him in silence, his blue eyes still wide, and his cheeks flushed from the kiss. "Alexander…" Magnus almost whimpered. "Please say something…"
A slow smile spread on the boy's face and he nodded, his eyes never leaving Magnus'. "Yes." He whispered and pulled him back to him kissing him breathlessly once more.
Note: That's it! Did you like it? ^_^ I apologise once more, I'm really bad at endings! :(((
[I may post a new story soon! If not, I will tomorrow!]