AN: no spoilers from any fandom. B99 will be spoiler free cause it's an AU and while I do make a lot of James Bond centric jokes I haven't seen any of the films released in the 21st century and make no plan to anytime soon, so no need to fear.

Now that I have seen your face how could I forget your name

Now that I have seen your face how could you expect that of me

"You're not as sneaky as you think," a voice said quietly close to her ear, and Amy nearly jumped out of her seat. She looked up and expected to see a huge camera in her face, or 20, but all she saw was a smile. She whipped her head back and forth scanning the area to find the flashes and glares from camera shutters clicking, but no one was focused on her. Except the guy standing beside her.

"Seriously, you look like you just walked out of every spy novel from the last hundred years. If you're honestly trying to give someone the slip you should at least be reading something you can't purchase with a senior citizen discount," he advised and pulled out one of the metal chairs at the table with a cringing scrape on the concrete and sat beside her.

It wasn't her fault that her disguise was hastily shambled together because she had to get out in the real world that morning, she just had to.

"Peralta. Jake Peralta. I would say 'shaken, not stirred,' but I don't really like martinis either way."

He peered out into the people ambling across the open square like they were all persons of interest, and Amy tried to figure out his game plan.

He couldn't have realized she was poorly trying to hide her identity without figuring out who she was under it when he was right beside her, could he? Though he was right that the sunglasses, hat, and newspaper were pretty much the undercover trope of the past century. Was he just waiting to get a good shot? Paparazzi were never the patient type, though. Just wait until they had a better shot than everyone else, and then blow it. This guy was right next to her- and he had a great shot. So why was he waiting?

He was cute- in a goofy sort of way. But still a cute sort of way.

"Do I know you... Jake?" She asked carefully. It wasn't like she was the biggest star in the world now, but lately (in the past year especially) she had to wear a disguise, admittedly better than her current one, whenever she went out to not get bothered and recognized. And if he did recognize her and was just trying to trick her for an elaborate scheme, she was sure he would reveal himself with his answer to the question.

"Can't say that I do. Pretty sure I would remember a lower face like yours- ..."

"Amy."

"Amy," he smiled. It was true, with her hat and sunglasses not even her forehead was visible.

"So who are we hiding from, Amy? I thought the woman with the stroller at 2 o'clock was pretty suspicious until I saw the baby move independently. So either she's just a normal person or a working mom that is really dedicated to espionage."

"I'm not hiding from anyone."

"Uh-huh," he gave her a sidelong glance full of doubt.

"Don't you have someplace to be? Like a job? Or family? Friends? Somewhere more important than bugging me?"

"Nope."

"I'm not a spy."

"That sounds like something a spy would say."

"That sounds like something anyone would say. I just want to read my newspaper in peace," she huffed and ruffled the newspaper in her hands for emphasis. She was hoping he would take the not so subtle hint as his cue to leave, but he completely missed it.

"No one reads newspapers anymore," he argued like it was a fact and not his biased opinion. Even though newspapers had gone out of fashion more recently they were still popular enough to be sold at every corner- and he couldn't just assume that about anyone just in however many seconds they had been talking. So just his opinion.

"I do. I like them."

"No you don't. You haven't even turned a page in the past 10 minutes."

"How long have you been watching me?"

Amy usually had pretty good intuition, but she guessed she was really wrong about this guy. She looked all around them and couldn't even find one person more than glancing at them, and definitely no cameras. She'd become well accustomed to catching the sunlight reflecting off of hidden lenses, and she couldn't spot any here. And then there was this guy right next to her, and he was talking to her like she was a normal person. A normal person-ish. This wasn't a normal person conversation at all. But the burden of weirdness seemed to be pushed on him. Why didn't he just admit he knew who she was? Did he really think anyone was that stupid? It was insulting.

"About 10 minutes. I thought someone was gonna come and make a drop or you'd do some super secret spy signal or something, but if you did it's too subtle for me. And I got bored of waiting."

"Are you... Are you actually serious?" The mere idea that anyone could be making anything other than a joke out of this was incomprehensible. And somehow he almost had her convinced, and that almost was baffling.

"Indeed. And you're dodging my newspaper question."

"You didn't ask a question, you made a comment. And it's just a really interesting article."

He turned to her so suddenly that she almost jumped at his piercing eyes.

It wasn't like he had been hiding his face (unlike Amy was). But she hadn't exactly got a good look at it since she was surprised to say the least, and when she regained her composure he just wasn't directly facing her. But when he was, she realized he had a nice face.

His eyes were dark and dancing, and even though he was staring directly into hers- his focus never wavering- she knew the right word was dancing (though she didn't know why).

Then there was his smile.

It was warm and friendly, but there was a certain restlessness about it.

She had never seen impishness imitated correctly on an adult. Most of the people she knew based their whole livelihood on faking expressions well, and none of them were bad at it. By way of her trade as she learned how to mimic emotions on cue, it was easy to spot when people were using the same tricks she used. Even the greatest actors had a bit of hollowness if you looked for it, and Amy was great at spotting the inconsistencies.

Child actors were neither here nor there on the impishness aspect as a single subset, but they had a better (or really only chance) of having a convincing impish look when saying their lines. Because they really did still have that excitement and innocence. It wasn't lost and it wasn't locked away (at least for the best ones).

So some kids were good at the whole impish look, some kids were bad, and every adult was bad. Not necessarily bad, but still see through- it was just a part of growing up.

Even so, her instinct was that Jake wasn't the best faker of impishness she had ever seen, because he wasn't faking.

Even though that totally wasn't possible. The whole premise was completely ridiculous and unrealistic. A million to one chance wouldn't be accurate (mostly it was just an idiom) but she was positive it wouldn't be accurate because it was much more unlikely than those odds.

There had to be something more to this. To him. But she didn't know why- why she believed him and why she wanted to.

Amy considered herself a rational person, and even though she was still human and could be swayed by emotions she prided herself on almost always choosing the logical side of any situation- brain over gut feeling.

But her brain and her gut feeling had never been in such a conflict before.

She knew that, and it was all running through her head at that moment, but it didn't change a thing.

She wanted to trust his smile.

"Okay, don't look down. Now tell me what the article's about."

Amy was so caught up in her own internal struggle that it took a few seconds for his question to even process and by then she didn't even have a hope of recovering. Flabbergasted and stuttering she tried to think of something, anything- but Jake started smirking and really, it was too late to try to save herself before she began.

"You know you're wearing sunglasses, right? I wouldn't have been able to tell if you looked down anyway."

While she was wearing huge sunglasses, she was positively paranoid that he could see the burning of her cheeks. And even though he was smirking, it wasn't malicious- more like mischievous. Not wreaking havoc to be mean, but making a mess for the fun of it. That was how he got the whole impish thing down, troublemaker but in a playful way.

Why did she think that? There was something off here. There had to be.

"Are you going to stop bugging me anytime soon?" Amy asked, trying to convey the right level of annoyance and downplaying her confusion.

"Nope," Jake said easily, without a moment's hesitation.

"Why not? What's in it for you?"

"Staving off my boredom."

"I'm boring. I am so boring. I'm boring right now," Amy said and did her best to convince him. If he was telling the truth about having no idea who she was, then he should believe her easily enough- someone with their whole face not even visible and wasn't answering any questions (even though they had to be joking questions).

But Jake just started shaking his head, like she said something amusing. She could almost hear his ego just from the smug expression on his face.

"Nope. You are very, very interesting."

After a few seconds of no response from her side, he went back to scanning the few people walking around, or others seated at tables near them. He tried to keep up his serious front and looked around at anyone and everyone like they were suspicious and might be hiding a weapon, but every so often he would glance out of the corner of his eye to check if she was still watching him, and the corners of his lips twitched before he got them under control.

The only way he knew she was still watching him was that she was going out of her way to make it obvious. He wouldn't have been able to tell otherwise (her sunglasses really were so dark that no one had a hope of guessing where her gaze landed if she were trying to hid it- or just not actively trying to show it). But Amy wanted him to know she was looking at him- staring really. Staring him down.

She didn't turn her chair, but she turned enough in it to make it clear. Her whole upper torso was facing him directly while the rest of her was angled slightly away from him due to the whole chair thing. But she crossed her arms and was definitely facing him and only him.

Amy tried to frown, but she didn't succeed. She wasn't smiling, and she wasn't completely neutral- but when she tried to make her lower face look at least a semblance of upset she knew she failed. She could feel her lips purse and she tried to stop, but she couldn't. It was her thinking face whenever she was truly puzzled and didn't know what to think- and trying to figure out what to think.

"If I try to leave are you going to follow me?" She tested him, but he wasn't fazed.

"I believe the correct term is shadow."

"Are you ever going to leave me alone?" Amy asked, even though it was more or less the same question. Phrased differently, but a little more serious way of saying it (with technically a slight difference in meaning, but only slight). Her tone wasn't exactly hostile, but it was wary to say the least.

"Not until you become boring. So spill your spy secrets now or forever hold your peace."

"You coming, shadow?" She asked after standing up and pushing her chair in and he didn't do the same. It wasn't even 5 minutes since she asked the following question and he used the term shadow, but she wasn't going to sit any longer in the silence. She wanted to figure him out. She would have stayed seated longer, but she had been sitting at that table all morning and could use a walk- and she thought that maybe a change of scenery would give her a better idea of his game plan. But when she got up and he didn't she worried that he wasn't going to come with her, so she basically invited him. That was weird. Why did she do that? There were a million other things she could have done instead.

But she was curious. She wanted to figure him out, because she still couldn't tell yet.

At her question he smiled so brightly that her confusion just about quadrupled.

She was glad he came with her.

"By all means, don't let me stop you from completing your mission," Jake said once they fell into a steady pace beside each other. Maybe the smart thing to do would've been to stay seated. She had only been in the city for a couple days at that point, so she had no idea where to even go. She could be leading them in circles for all she knew. She didn't even know why she was bothering with this, and why she was playing along.

It didn't help that the city planner should have been fired before any buildings started being built. The streets were a mess and while it was clear that they had been the same for ages, there was no way that a proper architect couldn't fix the place up. The streets weren't even a uniform size from one block to the next, and it was noticeable- why would anyone let that happen if they knew that people were possibly going to live there in the next hundred years? It was irresponsible at best, and it didn't make navigating any easier for her.

"I'm new to the area," she explained, but when she caught his knowing look she added quickly "But I'm not a spy."

"Sure you aren't."

She didn't know why she needed to add that so quickly. Of course she wasn't a spy, no sane person would think she was a spy. Even though he was playing it straight there was no way he could actually think that. Right?

At least at that point Jake took the lead, but he still didn't drop the whole spy thing.

It was kind of like sight seeing. She had been sight seeing before, in other cities, but it was with official tour guides. Which Jake definitely wasn't. He seemed to have lived in the city his whole life, but he didn't know any facts about it (the second most important part of a tour guide's job was knowing information and being able to answer questions. The most important part of the job was not getting lost).

But Jake didn't get them lost. And she got to see stuff that would never make any self respecting tour guide's list of attractions in a million years.

"Do you have sensitive teeth, Amy?"

"Pardon?"

"To cold stuff?" Jake elaborated, but that wasn't exactly what she was confused about. Like she was now certain that he really did ask if she just had sensitive teeth but she had no idea what that had to do with anything. She was pretty certain he was just trying to say the most random things that popped into his head on purpose. She couldn't think of a not random reason to ask if someone had sensitive teeth while they were walking around town.

"Does it matter?"

"Well, snow cones are good if you don't mind crunching ice, but shave ice is better if you have sensitive teeth. But shave ice is funner to eat, I think. I have a friend who calls it mouthfeel, but I refuse to use his terminology," Jake said and she couldn't stop smiling. He was ridiculous. She didn't know that people like him actually existed. People who were whimsical and hung out all day with strangers for no reason and who said things like 'mouthfeel' (he did say it wasn't his own term, but he also said he refused to use it when he just used it). He was looking into the air as he recounted his reasons but when he looked back to her for her answer and saw her smiling he smiled too.

Amy wasn't used to chain reaction smiling. Like smiling wider and wider building on each other's smiles. It was new and weird- and wonderful.

"Shave ice sounds great."

Every other spoonful Jake kept asking her to gauge the blueness of his tongue due to the flavoring on a scale from 1 to 10, and she tried to stop at 10 but he tried to get her to keep counting until she informed him it looked like he licked a stamp pad. She tried to get his opinion on hers, but he said watermelon was a bad choice if she wanted to have a tongue color competition (though it wasn't like she was expecting to when she chose the red dyed flavor).

"Can we drop the whole spy thing now? I mean, you weren't serious about that, right? You're not serious about that, right?"

"Aw, but it's so much fun," Jake wailed and more of waved his head back and forth than he did shake it in his lament before sobering up. "And anyone in their right mind would know you're not a spy the instant they saw you. A spy would be a much better actor. You'd get kicked out of spy school before you were even accepted."

Amy felt like correcting him and saying that if it was before she was accepted that would mean she was rejected, not kicked out, but she didn't. She was certain that he didn't realize who she was by this point (he would have given himself away hours ago if he had), and she was pretty sure he was joking about the spy thing the whole time but that left a wide open empty space for his motivations in the first place.

"Why'd you come talk to me if you could tell the instant you saw me then? Why are you still here now?"

"You looked lonely."

Jake was mindlessly stirring what was left of the blue slush at the bottom of his cup like it was the most transfixing thing in existence. He had been lighthearted and fun all day, but he was actually kind of serious now and trying to downplay it. And it hit her all at once that he really was a good person. She had stopped doubting him a while back, but Jake was one of those good people that everyone strives to be. He was spending time with her all day because she looked lonely. Amy had no clue that she gave off the lonely vibe. She didn't feel lonely- most of the time. She had good friends and stuff, and always someone to talk to. She knew who her real friends were. That morning she was thinking that it would have been nice to have someone sitting there with her. It was a nice day out and she had been imagining some company, but she didn't realize that she actually looked lonely.

"And you didn't have anything better to do with your Friday than spend some time with a lonely stranger?" She asked with a smile that was way more affectionate than she intended it to be.

"I had a surprise day off for the first time in a while, and I didn't have any plans. So no, I did not have anything better to do than play spy with you," Jake went back to teasing, but there was still a seriousness in his eyes. "People watchers tend to think they're a rare breed, but they're not really. Anyone will go there if they're bored enough, and while it may not be the most popular hobby that people actually enjoy, it's certainly not the least. I think competitive coin tossing or high impact badminton might be the least popular hobbies. So I watch the watchers. And normal people if I am people watching. I'm sure I've been watched before too, but I've never caught someone in the act while I'm watching someone else- but the day I do I will walk straight up to them and introduce myself and inform them of the people watching level of inception they played a part in."

She thought that he was done talking, but apparently the pause was only so he could slurp what was basically blue liquid high fructose corn syrup from the bottom of his cup and she had to fight not to show some level of disgust.

"I wasn't actually going to follow you, you know."

"Shadow," Amy corrected him with his own word choice.

"I believe the correct term would've been stalking at that point. Little more than pestering someone at a table. And while it was more of a taunt than an invitation, I'm glad you did it."

"I'm glad I invited you too."

This wasn't supposed to happen in real life. Amy had more experience than most in the difference between real life and stories.

If that day was a plot line it would be rejected by every director for being unrealistic. Way past the point of suspension of disbelief for something that would supposedly be nonfiction.

But that didn't matter because it was really happening, and she didn't have to convince anyone of its believability.

"And here we are," Jake made a grand sweeping gesture over nothing in particular, almost like their incredible destination was just the regular street they were on. That they had been on for a good 5 minutes. It didn't look like anything special, just the same old same old- like he just decided to stop walking the moment the thought hit him, or just when his feet got tired.

"Where?"

"Here," He patted the building next to the side walk with his hand, made out of red brick rather than the hewn limestone that made up practically everything around them. It wasn't that everything around them wasn't beautiful- because it was. She had never seen anything like the interweaving buildings of the town. Even though it wasn't even or anywhere close to symmetrical, there was a certain aesthetic to how everything was connected, albeit crookedly. But practically everything was that white limestone miss matched and held together with mortar to build the veins of the city. But this red brick building was very out of place, almost smashed in between the limestone on either side, almost like it was from a different century. Grand doors were guarded by gargoyles above some heavy steps, topped by a rain beaten belfry- and it was one of the best things she had ever laid eyes on.

"Where is here?" She asked with what she could only hope was the proper tone of amazement.

"This building," he emphasized with another affectionate pat.

"You know what I mean, Jake. What is the significance of this building that you wanted to show me? What's it called or what's it for?"

"I 'unno. Just a building as far as I know. I wanted to show you cause it looks cool."

She had to admit it did look very cool and he was so earnest that she was sure he really had led them there on purpose and his only reason was that he liked the way the place looked.

"You're horrible at this," Amy laughed. She didn't mean for it to last as long as it did. She didn't mean to laugh at all. So many people got the wrong idea when you started laughing when you were with them, or even just in their general proximity when they didn't say a joke. They took offense, or were worried they were being mocked- even if they knew how unlikely that was and couldn't find anything that they did wrong.

Amy used to get like that. Hell, she still got like that. But she had mostly learned to tune out her old insecurities. But there was always a little bit of young nerdy Amy who assumed that every person within 20 ft of her was watching or laughing at her, and not in a good way.

When she was in movie star mode she was way more confident- the cheers and camera flashes were constant reminders that she was being watched because she had done something well (at least so far in her career). But when she wasn't recognized (whether it was from before when she was mostly unknown or when she was out in a disguise) she didn't have a reason for people to be looking at her unless she was doing something wrong. And even if she was sure no one was paying attention to her and looking at her, there was still that ingrained insecurity that she had done something wrong.

So she tried not to laugh- and to always control it. She used her polite laugh with acquaintances and basically anyone else, and then her real laugh with friends and family that she never had to worry about- what they thought of her or what she thought of them.

But she was using her real laugh with Jake. Using was the wrong word- it implied control. She was experiencing her real laugh. Her real laugh was happening to her, and she had no hope to reign it in. And the funny thing was that she didn't really want to. She wanted to keep laughing her real laugh and never stop. "If you wanted to be a tour guide you wouldn't be accepted, or kicked out. You wouldn't even be rejected. They wouldn't even read your application. Weren't you born here? How in the world are you so awful at this?"

"Technically the hospital I was born at was like an hour away, but it was the closest one at the time. As for the horribleness, I don't recall ever claiming I wasn't."

During that real laugh of hers she was shaking her head at him and even if she was able to focus, his face would be a blur. When she managed to still herself she couldn't control her smile but she was making plans to immediately apologize because that had to look more than insulting.

But before she could even quiet her voice, she steadied her vision to see his goodnatured smile. His smile that made it clear he just liked to hear her laughing. Nodding along like he agreed with her happiness.

"Funnily enough, I don't recall you saying that either," Amy smiled when it finally got through to her that as a bonafide people pleaser, Jake wasn't a person she even needed to try to please. "You also didn't tell me you were this bad either."

"You know what they say happens when you assume, Amy," he teased tongue in cheek. She expected him to finish the sentence, but it didn't seem like he had anywhere to go. He was leaned up against the very cool looking building only a few feet away from her, and while it was a fine distance for a real one of Amy's laughs and some conversation, it was entirely too far for her liking now.

So she closed the gap and leaned up against the wall to face him not even 12 inches away, her voice comfortably low and not even a subtle attempt at flirting, but he tilted his head towards her and she was reasonably certain the feeling was returned.

"No, I don't, Jake. What do they say happens when you assume?"

She was pretty sure everyone had heard that joke before, but she could let him finish if it kept up this closeness for just a moment longer and wouldn't break them away from whatever this was.

"I don't know either, but you assumed I did, and I'm pretty sure that proves my point."

Amy's real laugh made another appearance, and this time Jake's laugh joined with hers, and there was no question if it was real or not. She knew without a doubt that she was hearing his real laugh too.

It was just before dusk when Jake said he needed to call an end to their traipsing of town that day so he could go lock up his work place.

"Can I see you again?" Amy asked a little too eagerly, but Jake had to bite down his grin to hide it and failed miserably so she wasn't too embarrassed.

"I think I need to see you first before we talk about again. I've spent all day with you and I still don't even know what your eyes look like. Can I?" He motioned to her sunglasses and she nodded her permission. She forgot she was wearing them most of the day and it seemed like her memories were always in sepia. Until he took them off and she saw his face for the first time in full color. He looked even better and brighter without the shades, and soon his head tilted slightly and he developed a puzzled expression.

"You would've told me if we met before, right? I'm not any good with faces but you look ridiculously familiar without these big ol' things," his question was goodnatured, but she couldn't believe she didn't even think of this. She always thought ahead and planned for any situation, but she didn't even think of this all day. She actually felt like a normal person for the first time in a long while. She forgot who she was for the first time in her life.

She should have accounted for the possibility that he would recognize her face, and that he would see her face by the end of the night, but she didn't. She was going to tell him, but she hadn't decided if she was going to leave it for the next time they met or when they parted that night. But it was clear she had to do it like now. How was she supposed to say something like that?

She didn't know how long she was silent and had him waiting on an answer, it felt like forever and no time at all. Jake's face began to fall in concern at what was surely showing on her face when her throat closed up before someone yelled from down the street.

"Amy! Amy Santiago!" They both turned towards the screamer and she must have been silent for a while because there were already people gathering with their phones out and coming towards them like vultures.

When she turned back to face Jake he had a horrible look of complete recognition. Just a mix of surprise and betrayal and hurt that was awful to see on him, and before she could even say anything he was already backing up.

"Sorry. I – I have to go," he almost stumbled over his own feet in retreat and she knew she had to say something so he would wait and wouldn't leave, but she wasn't a quick thinker in situations like these.

Someone pulled on her arm to get her attention and she yanked back, but when she turned around Jake was gone – disappeared into the air.

AN:

This is the fic that I alluded to last week on tumblr, specifically the one that I got mad at myself for needing to turn into a multichapter before I even had a single part of it actually typed out.

I'm not counting the spy jokes in this chapter as puns (though in the future there will be James Bond centered puns and not just jokes/wordplay like in this chapter, literal puns). I think the only thing that technically counts as a pun so far is the title, Camera Obscura.

Which while is a freaking cool thing from history (check out Abelardo Morell's modern photos)
I mainly thought it was the perfect title cause
1. the whole Camera and movie star thing
2. Obscura
as in from the Latin obscurus
which is also the origin of the English obscure

so that's it.

And if you wanna get a better picture of what I'm describing with the white limestone buildings basically just google the words "old town Croatia street" and pick out your favorite picture, cause I am just digging those street views.

We'll see when the next chapter of this is posted because I know I'm awful for already having 3 ongoing ones and starting a 4th. I know I am.