The Adventures of Little Stanley

Summary: While on the road trip, Stan takes a bath in some strange water. Now Stan is child with no memory of his adult years who life is put on the line as more and more secrets start to reveal themselves.

Disclaimer: Gravity Falls belongs to Alex Hirch and Disney.

Note: Re-edited! (4/8/2016)

As for the story, this story starts during the episode "Roadside Attractions" and was inspired by the one and half-Stans blog on tumblr which I recently discovered along with TV Tropes. The blog is here: if anyone wants to check it out.

Chapter 1: The Cult of the Most Holy and Scared Water

Stan let out a long sigh as he adjusted the towel around his waist. Today had been one hell of a day. Honestly though, an evil spider woman trying to eat him wasn't the worst date he ever had. Also, he managed to get some bonding done with Dipper, so he felt it was all worth it. Still he was tired and wanted to relax in a nice hot tub.

Unfortunately, it appeared that wasn't going to happen. Long story short, apparently he wasn't allowed in the hot tub due to the mess he had left last time. People were so persnickety nowadays.

"So I guess we'll be joining the girls at the fire." Dipper sighed. Stanley patted him on the back.

"Cheer up, kiddo! I got some stories that'll knock your socks off!" Dipper was about to respond to this when he spotted something strange.

"Hey, what's that?" It was a strange man with a long dark gray robe that simmered in the light of the night. He was saying some prayers over a fair sized pool with water that sparkled just as bright as any star anyone could grab. Stan eyed the man warily.

"Dunno, don't care." Stan didn't know what the man was up to, but he had lived in Gravity Falls long enough to know to avoid freaks in robes. Before Stan could drag Dipper away however, the man spotted them. He pointed at them.

"Unworthy Mortals! Step away from the place where the Most Holy Water lies!" The man warned. His voice boomed with dramatic flair that made Drama students weep. He even posed for effect. Dipper decided not to acknowledge this.

"Most Holy Water?" his curiosity inquired.

"Indeed!" The man posed as if waiting for lighting to strike dramatically. When it didn't happen he continued. "We move the most Holy Water with the light of the moon so that it's magic will always work it's great enchantment!"

"Really? What does it do?" Dipper asked. Stan scoffed next to him.

"Pssh! Who cares? It just water." he muttered. The cloaked man looked as if Stan had hit him with a glove.

"It most certainly is not! It is the MOST Holy of Holy water! Blessed by the Great Rabbit who mixes the light to bless the tears that once fell from the moon when the rocket blinded him." Dipper tried to wrap his head around this.

"Uh, what?" The man waved him off.

"Never you mind foolish mortal! Know only the worthy may partake in the great glory of the Most Holy Water! And the ones with a lot of dough." Grunkle Stan rubbed his chin.

"Interesting..." The man saw the mischievous look of a cat.

"You are not allowed in the Most Holy Water, unworthy mortal!" As to emphasize his point, the strange man pulled out a large sign and stabbed a large sign into the ground. It read, 'Do not touch the Most Holy Water unworthy mortals.' He then pointed at Stan. "Obey the sign!" He demanded then stomped off, complaining how his robe was chafing.

Once they were alone Stan let out a long sigh.

"Well, Champ. I guess the only thing to do is go back to the RV and—PSYCH!" Stan suddenly turned and cannon-balled into the 'Most Holy Water.' When he emerged from the water he was laughing confidently. Dipper chuckled.

"Are you sure about this, Stan? I mean, people in robes are never good news." Stan just laughed in response.

"C'mon kid, live a little! After running from death today we deserve it." The responsible Dipper disagreed, the rebel Dipper wanted more towels.

"Okay! I'm gonna get us some towels." Dipper left and Stan let out a long sigh.

"Ha, ha! 'Off limits'...ah." Stan sunk gratefully into the pool, feeling it do it's magic against his old rustic bones, washing all the pain aside. Stan had never felt so relaxed before in his life. Stan did like to show it, but his age was defiantly starting to take it's toll on him. He was becoming old. He never paid it much attention until Ford came back.

Ford.

Stan grumpily thought of his brother. It wasn't fair. They were the same age (actually Ford was older by fifteen minutes) yet Fordsy never seemed to show any signs of aging. Did he find some sort of special medicine or something wherever he was? Stan didn't dare to ask. He knew that bringing up the dimensional travel would just bring up old wounds and blame he was tired of taking.

Damn... He was sick of Ford. He was sick of Ford and his plans, and his just as old but never tired body, his brain, that he was able to connect with his family so easily, yet locked him out, the fact that he was better than Stan at everything... Heck, he was better than Stan who had just depressed himself.

This didn't last long as the pool seemed really good at taking away every worry he ever had.

Stan let out a relaxed sigh. He wished things could be easier, like when he was a kid. Things were so simple back then and he remembered being so happy and content. Like he was now.

Stan could feel himself drift off as the pool seemed to soak away the years...

*)

Dipper growled to himself as he scouted to the pools for his grunkle.

"Stan! Stan, where are you?" He let out an irritated sigh. If Stan was playing a joke on his he was going to- His thoughts were cut of he heard a desperate splashing. He turned to the pool and saw water being flailed about. Dipper hurried over to the source and quickly grabbed a tiny little boy. Once he had pulled the kid out of the water Dipper did his best to calm the panicking child.

"It's okay! It's okay now." he said. "You're safe now." The boy coughed some more to get the water out of his system. Dipper patted his back to help him, but then he noticed something.

"Wait." Dipper had to fight against the part of him that said looking at a naked child's body was wrong, but looked closely at the child's back. There he noticed on the boy's red, heated back was the burn he had once mistaken for a tattoo.

"No way—Grunkle Stan?!" How was this possible? Dipper had only been gone for ten minutes! How could Stan be a child?! It didn't make any sense!

The child finished coughing and looked up with blurred brown eyes.

"Wha...What happened?" he asked. "Where am I?" Dipper blinked.

"You...You don't remember?" The boy scowled.

"Remember what? What are you going on about?" Dipper could tell that he was getting annoyed. Dipper took a breath.

"Um, this is gonna sound weird, but what's your name and how old are you?"

"Why?"

"Just answer." The kid hesitated, but finally replied,

"Stanley. Stanley Pines."

'Ahhh!' The kid looked just like Stan when he was a boy! Dipper knew this because Mabel had found an old scrap book of Stan and Ford as kids and had has shoved it in his face going on about how cute they were.

'Either he's Stanor Stan had a kid-' Dipper's mind immediately rejected this notion as it did not want to picture Grunkle Stan doing the thing that needed to be done to have kids at his age. Also, the chances of having the same mark in the same spot was very unlikely. Especially this one.

Dipper's face became a mixture of emotions, but before Dipper could decide which one to hand the wheel to, panic took full control. Fortunately, reason quickly ran up to co-drive.

"Ahh! Okay! Okay. Let's calm down and think about this," Dipper said to himself as he covered the younger boy in a towel. "Let's see... Grunkle Stan jumped in a pool—I went for towels-!" Then it hit him. "The pool!" He ran over to the body of water and watched a duck divine in the water and emerge a duckling. "Holy-!"

"What's going on here?!" Two cloaked men ran up to the two boys. They looked between them and quickly put two and two together.

"GASP! The hairy Unworthy one has defied the MOST HOLY WATER!" one cried, falling to his knees.

"This is your fault! You were supposed to be standing guard!" the other accused.

"I left a sign! A big sign! A sign with red letters and everything that said 'Do not Enter!'"

"You idiot! No one ever listens to the sign! The sign means nothing!"

"GASP! You take that back!"

"I will not! Signs are just as useless as those little pamphlets they hand out everywhere." The man looked as if the other had just said 'Hans didn't shoot first.' They started arguing and the Pine Boys exchanged glanced.

"...I still don't know what's going on, dude." Stan muttered. Dipper sighed.

"Neither do I." He walked up to the two weirdos who were still yelling it out. "Hey! Could you guys just-!"

"-and now we have to kill them! I hope you're happy" Dipper and even Stanley froze.

"Uh, what?"

"K-kill us?!" Dipper forced a nervous laugh. "Eh-heh! You're kidding, right?" They pulled out two large guns in response.

"Guess not!" Stanley, who learned all about guns from his father, grabbed Dipper's hand. "Run!"

The Cloaked men cursed after them with curses that were so pathetic he writer refused to record them.

"We cannot let the unworthy get away!" One of them pulled out a dog whistle and blew. The result was a bunch of people trying to appear from the shadows dramatically. This failed however end up messing up the entrance by stumbling into one another in the dark and tripping over the pretty, but highly impractical robes.

"Ow!"

"Watch it!"

"How can I watch anything when this hood covers everything?!"

"Shoot! I ripped my robe!"

"Oh, great! That's gonna cost money!"

"Why? I can just patch it-"

"We will not have our followers running around with 'patches!'" One who seemed to declare himself the leader cleared his throat.

"Gentlemen!" An insulted cough entered the air. "And ladies." Another one appeared. "Yes, yes! And those who have decided to reject gender in general! I was getting to you! For goodness sake...! You have to give me time with these things!" The 'leader' cleared his throat in an attempt to 'regain' some dignity.

"FOLLOWERS! An unworthy has dared to partake of the Most Holy Water!" There was a unified gasp of horror.

"But there was a sign!"

"He ignored it!"

"The blasphemous gall!" The leader rolled back what could only be called shoulders out of generosity and pushed out a chest whose only purpose was to separate the throat and the stomach.

"We must not let this insult go unanswered! We must hunt down the unworthy one and ritually sacrifice him to appease the great rabbit in the sky!" There was a cheer of agreement and they all hefted pitchforks into the air. Which broke almost immediately.

"The heck?"

"Shoot! I knew these StanCo brand pitch forks were too cheap."

"Really? We're a great organization and you can't even afford real weapons?!"

"Well, excuse me for trying to stretch the budget a little! Perhaps if some of use took better care of their robes..." The 'leader' prayed to the great rabbit for strength.

"FOLLOWERS! The unworthy will escape if we do not make haste!" He held his gun aloft so the moonlight could gleam off it. This accidentally blinded another, but he ignored the cry. "Grab what whatever you can and LET US HUNT!"

*)

At small fire, Mabel, Grenda, and Candy were soothingly enjoying each others company.

"Hey, watch this!" Mabel shoved a ton of gooey marshmallows in her mouth. Then she let out some garbled growls as she pretended to be a zombie. The other two laughed.

"My turn!" Grenda announced. She grabbed her marshmallow from the stick in the fire and shoved it in her mouth. She quickly found this to be a mistake.

"AHH! HOT! HOT!" she bellowed.

"Here!" Candy handed her a canteen bottle, but Grenda screamed immediately after drinking it.

"HOT COCOA! HOT COCOA!" Candy giggled sheepishly.

"Oops! My bad." Mabel looked up as Dipper and Stan ran over, panting. "Hey, bro-bro! What's up-" Mabel's eyes got wide and doe like when she saw Stanley. At this point the little boy had the towel wrapped and knotted like a toga as it kept slipping off.

"Oh. My. Gosh." Mabel bent down to Stanley, who was a bit creeped out. "You. Are. So. CUUUTE!" She poked at Stanley's chubby cheeks with a weird laugh that made Stanley step back.

"Hey! Stop that." he asked. Dipper stepped forward.

"Mabel, knock it off!" he yelled. "This kid is Grunkle Stan! He took a bath in some sort of fountain of youth and now he's eight years old with no idea who he is! Also some weird cultist are trying to kill us to keep their bath secret!" The girls all blinked.

"This is Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked. Then out a giant squee as she picked up her mini-grunkle and snuggled him. "Ohmigosh! This is sooo GREAT! Wait until Grunkle Ford sees him!" Candy and Grenda leaned over.

"Aww! He's so squeezy!" Candy said. "He is nothing like his hairy adult self." Grenda made a comment as well, but her tongue was too burnt to make sense. Dipper felt like ripping his hair out.

"Mabel-!"

"HEY!" Stan wiggled out of Mabel's arms looking very annoyed and confused as he watched the older kids. "What are you guys going on about? Who are you guys? And where am I? And who are those weirdos chasing us? What's going on here?" Dipper took a breath. Oh, boy. How do you explain to an eight year old (was that how old he was?) that they're actually pushing seventy and had been turned back into a kid by a magic pool and now they were being chased by cultist?

Mabel stepped forward.

"Oh, sorry! I'm Mabel and this is my brother Dipper! We're your great niece and nephew- we're your griece and grephew! Well, we are. These two are my best friends Grenda and Candy." The other two waved.

"Hi!"

"You are so cute I wanna add you to my doll collection!" Grenda bellowed, her tongue healed enough to allow her to talk. Mabel smiled.

"She has such a soothing voice. Anyway, you're actually our Grunkle, but you don't remember that because you were turned into a kid by a magic hot tub filled with the fountain of youth. And by the way you are soo cute!" Mabel bent down and hugged the boy tightly with a loud squee. Dipper palmed his head.

'That's one way.' A terrible one. There's no way he would believe that-

"No way, really? That's awesome!" Or maybe it would. "Am I a super cool adult? Wait. Did you say fountain of youth? Isn't what pirates are always looking for? GASP! Are there pirates here?" Stan asked, eyes wide.

'Wow. Stan was kinda like Mabel when he was young.' Dipper thought. He didn't know how to feel about that. Nor did he have any time to figure it out. For just then a hot towel from a towel launcher blasted over his head.

"What the?! Where did that come from?!" Mabel exclaimed as she ducked another towel. Dipper let out a yelp as rubber ducky was tossed at him.

"Wah! Let's get out of here!"

"Hey, what—whoa!" Dipper scooped tiny Stan into his arms, and started running.

"Whoa! Whoa! Hey! What's going on—whoa!" Stan ducked behind Dipper's shoulder as a bullet glazed past his hair.

"Oh, geeze!" Dipper gasped. "They're really trying to kill us!" Mabel panted as she ran next to him.

"Don't they have any qualms about shooting innocent children?!"

Behind them a few paces the adults were pondering the same thing.

"Nah," one replied. "We're just deceasing the over population that Captain Planet warned us about." At this some of the cultist began to question the morality of their actions, but decided not to dwell. (At least not surrounded by temperamental zealots with weapons.) One couldn't care so long as he got his ducky back.

The children all ran to RV. Mabel pulled on the doors.

"Ugh! It's locked!" she yelled.

"Are you kidding me?!" Dipper cursed. Why was everything going wrong today?

"Maybe we can punch it!" Stanley suggested. Grenda stepped forward.

"Leave it to Grenda!" Grenda pushed them aside and with a mighty growl punched the door in. The children all cheered.

"Great job, Grenda!"

"Awesome!"

"Sweet!"

"Yeah!" Grenda grinned, but as she posed she was hit in the face by a hot towel.

"AHH! MY FACE BURNS WITH THE HOT BURNING FABRIC OF THE TOWEL! AHH! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!" she cried. She fell back and the kids had to work together to get her on the RV. On the RV the Pine children ran to the front while Candy cared for Grenda.

"Okay, okay!" Dipper said to himself, trying to calm himself, but failing. He got a spare key from the mirror flap, but his plan stopped after that. "What do we do now?!"

"We drive!" Stan took the key and used it to turn on the engine the jumped down on the accelerator with full force. The RV took a moment to rev up before blasting off at full speed. The Pine Twins screamed as the RV charged forward, destroying a sign, a fence, and was working it's way through the forest.

The cult cursed as they stared after him.

"Dammit all!"

"They have disrespected yet another sign! Have they no sense respected for the painted word?" The 'leader' held aloft his arm.

"FOLLOWERS! We must not give in to despair!"

"Whose in despair?"

"We must continue the chase!" he pointed to a row of cars. "TO MOMMA'S CAR!!"

*)

Meanwhile, the children were becoming the next threat to forest safety.

"Stan! Get the brick off the accelerator and push the break!"Dipper yelled. He was trying to stir the vehicle while keeping his mini-grunkle off him.

"Let drive!" Stan argued as he pushed his grephew. Because towel kept falling off, he was wearing Mabel's sweater to cover himself. "I'm the adult here!"

"No you're not! I'm pretty you're actually younger—whoa!" Dipper gave a sharp turn to avoid a deer. Mabel was in the seat next to them trying not to throw up. Candy and Grenda were doing the same in the back. Stanley grunted as he grabbed the wheel.

"I'm your grunkle! You to do what I say!" he grabbed the wheel and yanked it, causing the RV to rip out of the forest and off a cliff. The group all screamed till they bounced on the road. Mabel couldn't hold it in anymore and she barfed into a paper bag. Dipper fought for control of the wheel.

"You're gonna get us killed!" he argued.

"Hey! At least I got us on the road-! Yikes!" At that moment a hot towel was launched through the back window and hit the front.

"Since when do towels have the strength to break windows?!" Mabel exclaimed.

"Never mind—OW!" Dipper tried to move the towel, but got himself burnt when he touched it. "Seriously?! Who carries a hot towel cannon or whatever?!"

Behind the RV, in a pink saburu car, a cult member asked that same question.

"Look! What I do in private time is private!" No one pushed further in fear they may actually receive an answer. The 'leader' glared at the RV, as if trying to his mind to make it stop. When that didn't work he tried shooting at it, but found that using a gun was harder than he thought, especially when sitting on the edge of the window.

"Faster, Momma! We are almost upon the unworthy!" he cried.

"Tommy, get in here! You're going to hurt yourself." The little lady sitting on the phone books scolded. "And put your seat belt. Do we have to watch 'Mickey's seat belt video' again?" The leader groaned.

"Mom! Just ten more months and you will be deemed adequate enough to use the Most Holy Water to make yourself younger." he yelled. "You will be younger than that young tart that-" He didn't even get to finish as his mother stepped on the pedal making the saburu blast forward. His shrills of terror reached b-movie star levels.

"Mom! Mom! Slow down! Slow down! Mickey says I need a seat belt! MOMMY!!"

Up ahead, Candy gasped.

"They are getting closer!" she called up to the others. Dipper and the others panicked as Dipper turned the wheel frantically. Trying to stay on the road while trying to see through the towel. Fortunately it melted through the extremely cheap windows, giving Dipper a clearer view. Unfortunately the view was edge.

Mabel screamed, "DIPPER!" But it was too late. The kids flew off the edge of the road and plunged to the fields below. They all screamed.

"Holy shi-!"

"By the great rabbit!" The cultist behind them whimpered. Most of them started exchanging wills before realizing it would do no good if they die.

"Mom! Mom! W-wait! STOP!" The mother no longer listening to anyone however. Her were cloud with deranged anger.

"Leave me, will you? Well, I'll show you. I'LL SHOW YOU ALL WHEN I'M YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL AGAIN!" she let out a manic cry as she blasted of the edge of the road in pursuit of the unworthy.

Dipper was sure they were going to die. His whole life started flashing across his eyes. He couldn't even respond when Mabel, holding on to him, cried, "Dipper!"

They all flew back to the RV and hit the seat where Candy and Grenda was. Suddenly Stanley caught something.

"Huh? Cool! A gun!" Mabel looked over and gasped.

"My grabbling gun!" she exclaimed.

"Huh? What's a—WHOA!" Stanley accidentally pulled the trigger. The hook shot up and through the already broken window. As it sailed through the air, Mabel got an idea.

"Everybody! Grab onto Grunkle Stan!" They did so and they let out a frightened whimper as they were yanked through the window. Stanley yelped as he felt his arm yank hard and painfully, but he stubbornly held on. There may have been a lot he didn't know, but even he was smart enough to know what would happen if he didn't.

They all hung for a moment before letting out a sigh of relief. Dipper let out a shaky laugh.

"Hah... Hah! We-we made it! We're ALIVE! YES! Whoa!"

"Dipper!" Mabel grabbed Dipper as he almost fell back. Grenda moaned.

"Ugh... Grenda not feel good." Stanley grunted.

"Yeah." he said, voice strained from the stress on his arm. "I'm right there with ya." Mabel beamed at him, completely oblivious to the little boys pain.

"That was great, Grunkle Stan! You saved us!" she praised, squeezing him tighter.

"Yes. You are a real hero." Candy complimented. Stan was happy with the praise, but at the same time he was seeing spots.

"Yup that's me! Um, could we-" He interrupted by the cries of falling cult members as they fell passed them. The cries varied from curse words, cries for family, and, "Save us rubber ducky!" before they hit the field below. There a loud explosion erupted.

The kids all stared as the destruction spread across the corn field.

"Well. That could have been bad." Dipper mentioned. Stan hissed.

"Still can!" he yelled. "Can you guys climb up or something?! My arm feels like it's going top pop off!" Mabel giggled.

"Don't worry! We'll be fine!" she pressed a button and the hook retracted the group up to the top of the road. There all the kids collapsed on the road, gasping with relief and exhaustion. Fortunately there were no other cars about. There was a tired silence until a tone powered be adrenaline piped up.

"That was so cool! Let's grab another car and do it again!" he yelled. The answer was unhappy moans from the rest.

"Well," Dipper said at last. "At least that part's over." After another few minutes he pushed himself. "I guess we're walking home from here. It should only be a couple of miles." Mabel whined.

"Seriously? What about the bus?"

"No money." They all groaned.

"This is the last time I go on a road trip." Mabel muttered.

*)

Miles below, figures emerged from the flame cloaked in silver and fluffy yellow towels. Some questioned how the towels saved them, others decided not to push their luck in fear of turning it.

The 'leader' glanced around at the fiery ashes of their defeat. He held up a blistered palm.

"Followers! Though we have fallen, hope is not lost!" he called. "By the grace of the Great Rabbit and Simon's very fluffy towels, most of us have survived our decent into failure!

"Now, by the grace of the Great Rabbit of the Moon we must once again rise from the ashes of our defeat and avenge our fallen comrads!" He picked up a burning cob and held aloft dramatically.

"By the great blessings of the moon we shall-"

"Uh, dudes?" They turned to Soos who watching them with curious caution. "Er, I don't want to interrupt anything, but do you guys have any money for a bus ticket? I think my ride kinda burst into flames over there." The leader let out an aggravated growl.

"UGH! Why do people always interrupt me?!" He reached into his pocket and tossed some loose change at him.

"Ow!"

"BEGONE WITH YOU UNWORTHY GOFER-MAN!" Soos looked at the change and smiled.

"Thanks, dudes. Good luck with whatever you're doing here. Er, what are you doing?"

"Ugh! Not that it concerns you or your kind, but we are plotting to hunt down the unworthy one who has dared to defile our sacred pool with his filth."

"What he-" Soos whispered this next part. "went to the bathroom in it?" The man jumped.

"WHAT?! NO! No?" He looked questionably towards the others and a terrible horror filled the man. "THIS WILL NOT GO UNAVENGED! THE WRATH OF THE GREAT RABBIT WILL PREVAIL—FOR EVEN THE GREAT MAN IN THE MOON-" Not even the other followers were listening at this point. However, they decided to nod along politely as the man was clearly going through something and needed the support. (Also he was currently waving a gun around. This clearly wasn't the best time to do anything but nod along.) When he was finished Soos blinked.

"Okay then. Uhh—Good luck with that." With that Soos turned and left them. The leader cleared his throat as he turned back to brethren, sisteren, and whateveren his tone 'calmer.'

"FOLLOWERS! We will gather our resources and split. A group of you will report back to the Great and Most Scared of Scared Holy Temples and tell the Great Holy One what has transpired on tonight of woes," He cast a meaningful look at the follower who had an obsession with signs. "The rest of us will climb back up this the cliff of burden and overcome our failure to pursue the unworthy one. We will find him and appease the Great Moon Rabbit with his sacrifice! For now we- oh, shit! I gave the man a fifty!" With that he turned and ran in the direction Soos had went.

"Wait! Unworthy Gofer-man! I gave you too much! I gave you too much!"

The other members turned to each other.

"Soo... Popcorn?"

"I was thinking more of a simple grilled corn myself."

End of Chapter 1

Only Stan could take a bath and get a cult angry at him.