The Riajuu Lifestyle was more Complicated than I Expected

BoringBone

A majority of human behaviour is driven by impulse, and impulse is driven by subconscious desire, and subconscious desire is driven by the individual. So in the end, impulse comes from the individual themselves.

So when I dove out of the safe boundary of the sidewalk to save that dog from a speeding car, I thought to myself, "Hachiman, you only have yourself to blame."

I covered the dog with my body and shielded it with my back, the transfer of energy sending me rolling several feet away. A rush of adrenaline numbed the pain, but not all of it. I was on the verge of consciousness and the anesthetized pain kept me conscious long enough to see a girl running up to me while saying, "I'm sorry," over and over again. Behind her was a boy my age with a phone in his hands. I stared into its camera lens.

There was a voice. A touch on my hand. And then I passed out.

...

I woke up to the sight of my darling imouto, Komachi, sitting on a stool beside my bed. On her lap was a lunch container filled with apple peelings. In her hands were a partially peeled apple and a knife with a wide blade.

"Komachi, be careful with that knife," I mumbled deliriously.

"Onii-chan, you're awake," she exclaimed, almost dropping the knife.

"I told you to be careful."

She placed the knife and everything else on the bedside table and pulled me into a tight hug.

"You got me really worried. I don't know what I'd do if you never woke up." She nestled her head on the crevice between my neck and shoulder. "Oh, that's worth a lot of Komachi points."

She used the landline phone beside my bed and called for assistance. After a minute or two, a doctor and a group of nurses came by to run some tests on me. The doctor declared my good health.

"Don't worry, we'll take good care of him during his stay here," he told Komachi, who asked many questions about my well-being.

I thanked the doctor for his hard work and he said, "I'm just glad you turned out alright."

"We called your parents and they will arrive shortly. Now, if you will excuse me."

Komachi and I bowed to the medical team as they cleared out. Once we were alone again, she resumed hugging me, this time with a tight grip that compressed my rib cage. She loosened her grip when I started wheezing.

Once I composed myself, she leaned her head on my shoulder and whispered, "You really had me worried."

"It's not the first accident I ever had. And it's not like it was serious—there are worse things that can happen."

"I can't imagine anything that could top a car accident."

"How about a plane crash, or a shark attack, or getting hit by lightning?"

"Don't be silly, Onii-chan," she said.

We were quiet for a while until Komachi spoke up again. She said, "You know, things like plane crashes and shark attacks and getting hit by lightning are practically statistical impossibilities, especially for normal Japanese citizens like us. But automobile related deaths are definitely a legitimate danger, you know. I don't know the stats and all, but I bet you there's a way higher death total with car accidents than plane crashes and shark attacks and getting hit by lightning, that I know for sure."

"Well, what matters is that none of that stuff happened," I said.

"Yeah, if you were going to make me worry then the least you could do was actually die. I invested a large sum of pity on you. What a waste."

"Hey, pity is not something you can measure like money."

"Of course. An imouto's feelings are immeasurable. Oh, that one's definitely worth a lot of Komachi points."

My parents came shortly after. They expressed the same concerns Komachi had, with my mother babying me and my father lecturing me from the side about having foresight and being more careful, and all that. They spent a few hours with me until the end of visiting hours, just keeping me company and trying to cheer me up. My parents left me a change of clothes and some snacks, and Komachi gave me one last hug before they left. The whole incident made her more touchy feely than usual, I noticed.

It was a little bit before midnight when I rang up a nurse and asked for a sleeping pill. It was hard enough to sleep in a new environment but I also had a lot of worries and stray thoughts. I would've stayed up all night without some medical aid.

Before I fell asleep, I thought about school and the days I missed. I imagined how awkward my first day would turn out with me showing up out of nowhere. I'd be an unknown factor invading an already solidifying classroom ecosystem.

The pill was effective, but my worrying recurred in the cycles of R.E.M. sleep.

...

The next day, Komachi came by to visit around four thirty p.m. She rushed over to my side, knocking over some poor nurse who was in the way. She held her phone an inch from my face while saying, "Look, Onii-chan, look."

I gave the nurse an apologetic look before taking Komachi's phone to pacify her. She had a video paused halfway, and from the title captions I already had a good idea what it was about, but I watched it anyways because Komachi's insistence.

Displayed on the screen was me, although I was not used to seeing myself covered in pixels and I was certainly not used to seeing myself dash to my impending doom for the sake of another, even more so when it was for the sake of a dog. Although I did not feel like it from my perspective, the act looked quite heroic in the video, with the damsel in distress—who was not in the shot—yelling in the background, with me leaping in without hesitation, shielding the dog, and still managing to look tough as I was sent flying. The video ended with the camera man rushing over to my body sprawled on the ground.

"This video reached the one hundred thousand mark when it was uploaded yesterday. The uploader explained in the description that he only just recieved permission to upload it from our parents, hence the delay," she said.

I stared at the last shot of my comatose body. "Our parents actually gave the guy permission?"

"You don't have to sound so bitter. They did it for your sake."

"Which means?"

"Which means they're hoping the video will give you a bit of a boost in, you know, making friends and all. They know how much school you missed, and you being the Hachiman you are they know that you'd have a tough time making friends if you came in a week late."

"Don't say Hachiman in that context."

"Oh, and which context would you prefer?" She waggled her eyebrows.

"You shouldn't tease your onni-chan like that," I said.

"An onni-chan's job is to be teased by his imouto."

We spent the afternoon watching game shows on the courtesy T.V. but the old man sharing the room with me complained about the noise. Komachi and I resorted to chatting about her new school life, about her friends, and other such nonsense.

...

After my last examination, the doctor shook my hand and congratulated me on my recovery. "Good work, Hachiman-kun," he said.

He was a friendly doctor who called all his patients by their first names. He was a tall man with black hair that sported a couple of greying streaks, and he spoke with exuberance and confidence. He had bags under his eyes.

"I should be saying that to you. You're the one who did all the work," I said.

He patted me on the shoulder. "Nonsense. It is my duty as a doctor to assist brave young men like you in any way I can. In fact, between you and me, I gave your parents a big discount on the hospital fees. All out of my paycheck, of course."

"That's too much," I said.

"Again, nonsense. I saw that video. There was no hesitation in your eyes when you saved that girl's dog. You're a true man, Hachiman-kun. I bet all the ladies just can't get enough of you."

I did not reply.

A nurse came by and whispered something to his ear. He nodded to her and turned to me with an apologetic smile. "Sorry about this, but I have to go now. You're an interesting young man, Hachiman-kun, in fact, I'd like to see you once more." He snapped his fingers as his eyes lit up. "Ah, that's a great idea. What would you say, Hikigaya-kun, if I invited you and your family for dinner with me and my family?"

I was overwhelmed by his overtness. "Excuse me?"

He took a step back and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I don't normally involve myself in the lives of my patients more than I have to. If you're feeling uncomfortable then I apologize."

"Ah, no, I just got caught off guard, I guess," I said.

"If that's the case then give my invitation some thought."

We exchanged numbers and I promised to tell my parents about his idea and to make myself free for the next couple of weeks. A had little to no desire to actually go through with his plans but I played along since he worked hard for my speedy recovery and helped my parents with the hospital bills, with his own money no less.

"Take care, Hikigaya-kun," he said.

I bowed. "Thank you, Miura-sensei."

There was a cool breeze outside and I basked in it, letting it wash away the hospital smell off my clothes. My father saw me and jogged over, reprimanding me for exerting myself. I told him that I felt fine enough to move and that being stationary would do me more harm than good.

He told me to wait as he jogged back to the parking lot and drove the car over. Komachi and my mother were inside.

"We're going out for dinner to celebrate your recovery, Onii-chan. Where would you like to go?" she said, when I slid beside her.

"We don't have to go out and do anything extravagant," I said.

My mother peeked at us from the shotgun seat. "Don't be so reserved. We can go wherever you want. We have some—unexpected room in our budget to afford it. Isn't that right dear?"

"Yup," father said.

I thought about it for a bit as I fastened my seat belt.

"How about Saize?" I said.

"Why Saize?!" they chorused.

...

I was so content with lazing around in the hospital and playing with Komachi that I almost forgot about school. So when the big day arrived, I was not emotionally prepared.

I stood in front of my classmates with an expression I believed to be neutral, maybe even pleasant. My back was straight and not hunched like usual. I presented myself as someone confident, but not overly so. As someone approachable but not too approachable so maybe you should respect his personal space—that kind of look.

But of course, such a vague concept was impossible to portray with body language alone. I ended up standing awkwardly straight in a ninety degree angle. Even my ahoge was congruent to my body posture and stood in alarm like an exclamation mark hovering over my head.

"This here is Hachiman Hikigaya-kun. Due to certain circumstances he had to miss the first week of school, but despite this I hope you will all welcome him as if he had been here all along."

The language teacher, Hiratsuka Shizuka-sensei, was an attractive woman who appeared to be in her late twenties or early thirties, a woman who I was surprised to hear was still not married despite her looks and age. I exercised some tact and did not voice my casual observations

Hiratsuka-sensei had given no indication that she had seen the video when I brought it up on our way to class.

"Huh? Are you some internet star or something?" she had said.

This led me to believe that the video had not gone as viral as I predicted. No one would hail me like some sort of hero. They would treat me like my middle school classmates treated me. Which was fine, acceptable, even, since their world was different from mine, located in a realm I can never traverse. This was the boundary Hikigaya Hachiman can never cross, heroic act or not. Or so I thought.

A little bit after Hiratsuka-sensei's introduction and exactly during the moment I broke out of my forced body posture and started writing my name on the black board, a sudden cry of, "Guys, it's definitely him. I can tell from the back because I've seen more of it than his face," came from a guy with an overly enthusiastic voice.

I resisted the urge to turn around and resumed writing my name.

"Are you sure Tobe? He doesn't really seem like—well, you know, the heroic type."

It was a female voice that time, one that sounded haughty, the type of woman I avoided at all costs.

"No trust me, Miura-san, it's definitely him. As one of the eyewitnesses I can give you a one hundred percent accurate answer."

"Actually, eyewitnesses tend to falsify their information unintentionally due to the shock and other factors like trauma. Ah, not that I'm doubting you, Tobe, I am merely stating the facts," a new male voice, a confident, projected voice that could only belong to a riajuu, said.

I slowed my task to stall for time as I thought formulated escape plans. I wrote the characters to my last name in a painfully slow pace, so slow that Hiratsuka-sensei discretely checked her watch and not so discretely tapped her foot on the floor. Hurry up, she mouthed.

"Why's he writing so slowly?" Haughty female said.

"Perhaps he's still injured?" Riajuu said.

"Ah, maybe he still has P.S.T.D. from the whole incident, and he's having scary flashbacks now or something," Tobe said.

"I think you meant P.T.S.D.," Riajuu said.

"You know what, why don't just ask the other eyewitness?" the haughty female said.

"Eh, me?" It was a new feminine voice. One that sounded familiar.

I hurriedly finished the last characters for Hachiman before turning around. It was not too hard to associate the voices with the faces. The riajuu was the best looking guy in the class, and so was the haughty voiced girl, and Tobe was the guy who was bouncing in his seat excitedly.

Tobe got up from his seat despite Hiratsuka-sensei's admonishments. He walked up to a girl who looked very familiar. She looked at him, at her classmates looking at her expectantly, and then at me.

I picked her out in my hazy memories of the car accident. I vaguely recalled a trendy girl, one with short hair tied up in a bun. I made the connection.

"E-Eh? Why me?" she said, while raising her hands in defense.

"Oh, don't be shy, Yuigahama-san," Tobe said. "It's definitely him, right?"

She glanced my way and our eyes met. I looked away.

"Yeah, it's definitely him," she said. "Those eyes are very—well, I'll say 'distinctive'."

I hated the unknown. And this new development, with my classmates looking at me with something like awe, with Tobe making a remark about my 'P.S.T.D. looking' eyes, with Hiratsuka-sensei saying, "So you're an internet star after all?"…all of it was unknown to me and I hated it.

Still, I took a small step forward. I coughed into my hand and ducked my head, ignoring all the eyes.

"My name is Hikigaya Hachiman. I hope we all get along."

Chapter 1 END

The boundary Hikigaya Hachiman can never cross

A/N

Well, I've been thinking about submitting something for this site and here it is! I love the Oregairu series and I love experimenting with 'what-if' scenarios so I'll have a lot of fun with this story, and I hope you will too.

I'll try to upload as soon as I can. At most you'll see an update every couple of days, although if I were being realistic I'd say weekly updates are more reasonable, and if I was being pessimistic I'd say once a month. Thankfully I'm much more optimistic than 8man here so expect to see me at least once a week.

That's it for me. Please review, it will make my day and it'll be nice to hear your thoughts.

Later! Expect an update soon!