Which one of us is dying?

Set after "Face the Raven" (9x10). Whouffaldi

Clara, his Clara, The Impossible Girl,his Impossible Girl,is death.

He couldn't save her, he couldn't do anything, all he could do was see her die.

Clara the person he most loved, the person who mattered the most, the first face this face saw, died, for saving another human, another person, for making a little girl happy by saving his father.

She died in an honorable way, she died accepting her fate, taking control of her life until the very last second of her existence, she died, but her memory will forever stay.

Because those she saved, those ones will always remember her, and obviously one of all that people was him, The Doctor.

She didn't let him tell her what he felt for her, she didn't let him tell her how much she meant to him, she didn't let him tell her that he loved her, more than anything in the world, more than he had predicted, more than he had hoped for, she didn't let him tell her that he would have done anything for her, that he would have destroyed the universe just to save her, that he would have travelled to anywhere just to find her, that he would have killed anybody just to maintain her safe.

But he didn't need to, because she already knew, because she knew him better that anyone, because telling her would have make that moment more heartbreaking than it actually was

He asked her to stay with him, to be with him until there wasn't any light in her glare, until she wouldn't be able to breath, until her heart stopped.

But she ignored him, he knew she would, she was The Impossible Girl,she would run until her legs didn't work.

She was brave, braver than him, braver than anybody, she faced the raven alone, and he saw her all the time, her body falling to the cold and hard ground, his heart breaking into pieces, pieces that he won't ever be able to recompose.

Because he can't think of anything that isn't related to Clara, and every time he closes his eyes, he sees her, her big eyes looking at him, her smile, the smile he never kissed and never will, because he didn't tell her, and now is too late.

He wants to stop feeling, to end this insupportable pain that is killing him, that makes every breath harder than the one before.

The memories of Clara haunt him, no matter where he looks, he sees her, all he can see is her, but she isn't there anymore.

He'll have to go on like he has done so many times before, but he is tired of watching the people he loves decay, wither and die.

And then when he had lose all his hope, she is in front of him, her smile, the one that it's a sad but at the same time happy one.

A tear in the corner of his eye, she caress his face with her hand, looking deep into his eyes.

"Clara…" is all he manages to say, sadness envelops him "I'm so sorry…" tears now running down his eyes.

He then cups her face with his hand, and approaches her face slowly, until their lips meet, and it's a sweet but sad kiss, a soft one, is all he can give her now, is the way he tells her everything, without words, and as everything in this world, it ends, then her takes her hand and kisses her palm with all the strength he has, closing his eyes, he doesn't think he is brave enough to see her leave, not again, not forever.

"Run you daft old man and remember me" she says leaving his hand, walking away, and before disappearing she looks at him, sweetness in her eyes.

"Goodbye Clara" he says, and then, she is gone, like breath on a mirror.

Clara Oswald, a mystery worth solving, an impossible mystery, a mystery that will never be forgotten.

Because perhaps not everything ends, not love.

Clara Oswald the madness of a madman.

23-11-1986 |21-11-2015