Little oneshot about Jess telling Annie how he and Rory met. Gilmore Girls isn't mine!
A sound rends his sleep. Jess frowns, not fully awake, before hearing it again; a shriek from his daughter's room. He is on his feet and running in before he knows what he's doing, not stopping as he switches on the light. Annie is sitting up in bed, crying, and as Jess goes to her she flings her arms around his neck.
"Hey," Jess says softly. "It's okay. I'm here, it's okay."
"Daddy," she sobs. "It was scary."
"What was?"
"A big monster," Annie says, her voice muffled against his chest. "It was going to eat me."
"Is it still here?"
"No," Annie sniffles, blinking. "It went away."
Jess strokes her hair and feels her heartbeat calm as she leans against him. Jess remembers being a kid and waking up after nightmares, being too scared to move and no one coming. He learned to turn on his flashlight and read until he wasn't afraid anymore. One night, the batteries ran out, and Jess still remembers the terror of sitting in the dark and hugging his blanket to his knees. It didn't feel like morning would ever come. He kisses Annie's head and she looks up at him. She has his dark hair and her mother's eyes, the Gilmore eyes.
"I'm thirsty," she tells him and Jess smiles.
"Let's get some water."
He gets down and Annie climbs onto his back, clinging like a koala. Jess carries her this way to the kitchen and deposits her on a stool at the counter. He gives her a cookie along with the water and she giggles as she chews it, sending crumbs flying. Jess takes one himself and they eat in companionable silence.
"When's Mommy coming home?" Annie asks and Jess says,
"Not until tomorrow, honey. She's busy with the press conference, and I bet she's missing you. She'll see you after school."
"I won the second grade spelling bee," Annie says proudly. "I want to tell her."
"She's going to be so impressed, Annie. There were some hard words in there."
"Will you help me remember the words for the next one?"
"You know it. We'll find books with them in."
Annie grins and sips the rest of her water, swinging her legs. She and Jess always read together and Annie loves find new words. Jess finishes his cookie and asks,
"Ready to go back to bed?"
Annie shakes her head firmly.
"I need to pee."
She runs to the bathroom but comes back to the kitchen, her lower lip sticking out.
"I don't want to go back to sleep."
Her blue eyes are wide and Jess can see she's still scared. He grabs a deck of playing cards and, leaning forward, says,
"Pick a card."
Frowning, Annie reaches over and takes one, laughing out loud as he guesses it. Jess does it over and over until her eyes start drooping and then carefully picks her up from the stool. She is seven years old but it only seems like the other day Rory was pregnant with her. Jess remembers cupping her stomach, holding Rory's hand as she gave birth. Jess remembers holding Annie in his arms, in disbelief that he had a daughter, that he and Rory had made a person. Fatherhood is more than he ever imagined. Jess starts to tiptoe out of the kitchen but Annie stirs and opens her eyes.
"Show me the trick," Annie says sleepily and Jess says,
"Tomorrow, kid. It's late now."
Annie nods and Jess carries her back to her bedroom. There's a book on the bed, which Annie must have snuck from the shelf, and Jess pushes it out of the way with a smile. He carefully lowers Annie down, assuming she'll go straight to sleep, but as he lifts the covers to tuck over her she sits back up.
"Tell me a story."
"Come on, Annie, it's after midnight," Jess argues but she asks,
"Please, Daddy?" and he relents, picking up the book she was secretly reading.
"Which book? This one?"
"I want you to tell me a story," Annie says, making Jess's heart sink. "One about dragons."
"Dragons, huh? Jeez. Okay."
Jess lies down beside her, putting the book on the nightstand. He starts a tale about a brave princess getting a dragon for a pet but he's tired, and the plot is thin. It shows as his daughter bluntly tells him it's boring and Jess gives up. Children are much harsher critics than adults.
"Annie, I can't come up with anything better," Jess says honestly. "I'm tired. Can't I read to you instead?"
"I want you to tell me a story," Annie insists. Jess sighs and she says,
"How did you meet Mommy?"
"Haven't I told you that?" Jess asks, leaning up on an elbow. "You know we met when we were kids."
"But how? I want to know."
"It's a long story."
"Good."
Annie grins and Jess can't help laughing. He sits up a little and tells her,
"I went to live with your grandpa Luke, when I was a kid. He was friends with Lorelai - your grandma - and her daughter was your mommy."
"Were you kids like me?"
"No, Annie. We were seventeen."
"Daddy, that's nearly grown up," Annie protests and sulks at her father's laughter. "It is!"
"Okay, sure. Anyway, we were in high school - your mom went to a different school, but I'd see her after, when she and her mom would come to Grandpa's diner."
"Why did she go to a different school?"
"Because she was very smart. As smart as you'll be, I bet," Jess says, tickling Annie and making her laugh. "We liked hanging out in the diner."
"Did you meet Mommy there? Did you make her a burger?" Annie asks solemnly and Jess shakes his head.
"I went over to her house, when I went to live in Stars Hollow. I lived in New York before that."
"Why?"
"Grandpa was friends with Lorelai - with Grandma. I told you."
"I mean, why did you live in Stars Hollow? Where was your mommy?"
"My mom wanted me to live with Luke for a while," Jess says. "I was getting in trouble at home."
"Like when not eating your vegetables?"
"Among other things," Jess says wryly. "Anyway, she decided I should go live with Luke for a while. And your grandma asked us to dinner and that's how I met Mommy."
"Was she pretty?"
"Yes, she was very pretty," Jess says fondly. "And very smart. She had so many books. I borrowed one and wrote inside."
"Like your name?"
"No, thoughts and stuff."
Annie ponders this and Jess adds,
"One time I showed her the same magic trick I showed you."
"Did Mommy like it?"
"No, she threw the cards away and told me to do my homework."
Annie laughs loudly and Jess grins, but it fades as she asks,
"Did you tell Mommy you thought she was pretty?"
"No. Not then, anyway."
"Why?"
"She liked someone else, for a while. We didn't - I didn't tell her I liked her like that for a long time. A year."
"A whole year?" Annie exclaims. "That's forever, Daddy!"
"Okay, okay! I know."
Annie is silent for a moment and then asks,
"And then she liked you too?"
"Yes, but it wasn't that easy," Jess admits. "I left town."
"How come?"
"It's complicated, Annie."
"That's what grown-ups say when they don't want to say stuff," Annie remarks and Jess can't help laughing.
"It's hard to explain."
Annie sits up, folding her arms and Jess closes his eyes.
"I went away to go see my dad," he says. "I didn't have a dad. I only lived with my mom, in New York."
"Why didn't you have a daddy?" Annie asks, eyes serious, and Jess hesitates.
"He and my mom didn't love each other," he says eventually. "He didn't know how to be a dad."
"Why not?"
"I don't know, Annie. Sometimes dads don't."
Annie is silent and Jess quickly adds,
"I'll never leave you, or your mom. I'll never stop being your dad. I'll never stop loving you."
"Do you promise?"
"I promise. It's impossible."
Annie smiles but presses,
"Why did you leave Mommy?"
"My dad came to see me," Jess says. "And then he left, and I wanted to see him again. And I wasn't very happy, Annie. I wasn't going to school and your Grandpa Luke was mad at me."
"Why didn't you go? Because you never won the spelling bee?"
"Not exactly. I didn't want to go. Anyway, I wanted to see my dad and I didn't know how to tell your mom, so I went away. Mommy went to college and I didn't see her for a long time."
"Did you stop loving her?" Annie asks, making her father's eyebrows raise. "I saw that on TV once. A boy told a girl he didn't love her and the girl cried. Did Mommy cry?"
"I didn't stop loving Mommy, Annie," Jess says. "I didn't want her to cry. I was very sad."
"Why did you go?" Annie presses. "You always say I have to tell you where I'm going. Why didn't you tell Mommy?"
"I should have done, Annie. I just didn't. I went away and saw my dad and he lived all the way away in California."
"Was he nice to you?" Annie asks and Jess smiles at the concern in her voice.
"Yes, he was. I lived there for a little while and then I went to see Grandpa and said I was sorry."
"Did you tell Mommy you were sorry?"
"I tried."
"In school they told me you have to say sorry," Annie says authoritatively. "Did you say it again?"
"I guess," Jess says and his daughter frowns.
"Did you say I'm sorry?"
"Not exactly."
"You didn't say sorry, Daddy," Annie says sadly and Jess nods.
"Yeah, I know. But I did see Mommy again. I went away and wrote a book and I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her she helped me."
"How?" Annie asks. Her frown is just like his and Jess swallows as he sees it. "How did she help you if you went away?"
"A long time ago she told me I could do anything," Jess says. "And I always remembered. You know how you remembered to say thank you to Grandma for the dress she made you? It was like that. I wanted to say thank you."
"Did she like that?"
Jess smiles, tucking a hair behind his daughter's ear.
"Yes, she did."
Annie smiles and Jess goes on,
"But then Mommy was unhappy. She wasn't going to school."
"Like you!" Annie exclaims. "How come?"
"I think she was feeling lonely. She was sad."
"Poor Mommy," Annie says and Jess nods.
"I know. But then she was happy again and went back to school and then she got a big job with a newspaper. And then we said we loved each other and then we had you."
Jess brushes the end of Annie's nose, making her giggle.
"Why did it take forever?" she asks pointedly. "You were grown-ups."
"It didn't seem so long at the time," Jess says thoughtfully. "We were friends as well. And it's hard, saying that you love someone. One day you'll understand."
"I hate it when you and Mommy say that," Annie complains. "When I'm grown up I'll never say you won't understand."
That makes Jess laugh out loud.
"Okay. I'm going to hold you to that."
She snuggles down and Jess tucks the covers carefully around her. It doesn't seem real that one day his daughter will be a teenager, belligerent and even more determined and, most likely, not wanting to tell him and Rory anything at all. Jess hopes she doesn't grow up too fast. Annie's eyes start to flutter and she says dreamily,
"I'm going to write a book too."
"I can't wait to read it."
Annie smiles, half-asleep and adds,
"I think the monster's gone."
"You scared it away," Jess tells her. She smiles and Jess sees her slip back into slumber. Her breathing evens and Jess brushes her hair from her cheek. He never knew love would be so complicated to explain. Perhaps one day she'll understand, along with all her dreams. She is their daughter in every sense. The story is hers.