A/N I never intended this to turn into a story because the idea is stupid. However it did and whilst I may not like it as much as some of my others, I thought it would be daft not to upload it now it's here.

Standard JK Rowling disclaimer applies. I can't even claim ownership of Hermione's parents' first names because I used the same ones robst uses. If you havent read his story Harry Crow, I can't recommend it enough.

Hope you enjoy :)

Chapter 1

Of all the people Hermione thought may be knocking in her front door at ten am on a Friday morning, Draco Malfoy was not one of them. She had not heard hide nor hair of him or his family in the year since the defeat of Voldemort.

"Well I was not expecting you Malfoy" she greeted him neutrally.

"I don't imagine you were Granger, but I need your help."

"You don't say... I thought you'd just come round for a chat and a coffee." The sarcasm dripped off her words.

"Yes, yes, alright. Can I come in?"

"I'm sure you would be able to enter my house if you so wished Malfoy, yes" Hermione smirked.

Malfoy glared at her. "MAY I come in?"

"If you give me your wand, I suppose I might let you."

"My wand? Why do you think I would ever give that to a mu-ggleborn like you?!" Malfoy caught himself but Hermione had noticed.

"Well for one, you came here wanting help from me, two this is my house and three I don't trust you. I don't know what your intentions are. I'll leave it to you, come in disarmed or go away."

Malfoy hesitated for a long second before slowly holding out his wand for Hermione to take.

"Thankyou" she said. "Living room is just through there. Can I get you a drink or anything?"

"What?!" Malfoy sputtered. "No. Thankyou Granger."

"Alright, what did you want and why did you come to me?"

"I... We need muggle help and you're the only muggleborn I could think of that would even talk to me now" Malfoy mumbled.

"Hang on hang on! Did I just hear a Malfoy say he needed help from muggles?!" Hermione exclaimed in amazement.

Malfoy nodded.

"Voldemort's right hand man, muggle-detesting, torturing and killing Death Eater? Just checking I got your Dad right there, of course. Wouldn't want to be mixing him up" she added.

"Yes! Just shut up already. Father's got himself cursed, we're not sure when, and now every time he casts magic or magic is cast on him it gets worse."

"Why should I listen to anything you say Malfoy? You've probably just exaggerated it to get my sympathy. Why should I do anything to help you?"

"Because I'm worried my father will die if he doesn't get his face treated!" Malfoy shot back angrily.

"He doesn't know you're here, does he?"

Malfoy shook his head sadly. "He refuses to believe muggles can fix it and he says their methods are barbaric."

"Dare I ask what his problem is specifically?"

"He has incredible toothache and his mouth has swollen loads. Every time he's been to see a Healer they say they've fixed it but less than a day later it's worse than it was before. Last time they said we should maybe try muggle ways of fixing it. He can only eat soup and that just barely. I don't know what to do, help me?"

Hermione took a moment to admire the proud, arrogant Malfoy heir practically begging at her feet. She could quite easily tell him she didn't care about him or his family. She would be within her right to tell him how Lucius had tried to kill her several times and escort him off the premises. But both of these plans would leave her with a nagging feeling of guilt. Why did it matter? The Malfoys wouldn't spit on her if she were on fire, why should she help them?

Because she was better than them and Malfoy seemed to love his father.

"Ok" she said slowly. "I'll ask my parents about it when they come home tonight and owl you. My mum has a dentist friend that might be able to help. But your dad will need to come here and trust us enough to talk. He'll probably need a consultation too, so he'll need to be prepared to open his mouth as well. If you can get that much, I'll see what I can do."

"Ok, I'll owl you."

"Maybe see you soon then." Hermione held open the door for him and handed back his wand. "Bye Malfoy."

"Yeah. Bye Granger."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hermione's parents agreed that if Lucius would come into their surgery, one of them would examine him. It was another three weeks however before the owl from Draco came, saying that his father had agreed to meet with them. They agreed on a Saturday lunchtime at the Grangers' house.

Hermione and her parents met them on the doorstep. Malfoy Jr immediately presented his wand to Hermione whilst Malfoy Sr looked on coldly and with intense distrust.

"Your son knows what he must do to gain our help Mr Malfoy. It is entirely up to you whether you wish to take up that offer of help or not." Dan started. "We are helpless against you and surely after the events of not so long ago and your public opinion of us, you can't deny us this small measure of security?"

"Come on Father, let's just talk."

With a furious glare at his son, Lucius thrust his cane at Hermione and strode inside.

"Mr Malfoy, I'm Dan Granger and this is my wife Emma. Hermione said you were looking for a dentist?" Dan handled the introductions once they were all seated in the living room.

Malfoy Sr gave a curt nod.

"Well isn't that fortuitous!" Emma exclaimed. "My husband is a dentist, I'm sure he'll be happy to take a look if you like?"

"Y-you?" Lucius stuttered.

"Yes. Me. Were you hoping for someone else? Someone who doesn't hold a grudge against you for trying to kill their daughter more than once perhaps? Someone who you could intimidate? Sorry, it's me or nothing, unless you want to join the six month waiting list for another surgeon" Dan replied icily.

The silence that followed was thick with tension, although the Grangers acted relaxed.

The silence was stretching into the extremely uncomfortable stage by the time Lucius replied through clenched teeth.

"Very well."

"I'm terribly sorry, could you repeat that request please? I didn't quite catch it" Dan asked mildly.

Lucius shot him a death glare and reflexively reached for his wand - which wasn't there. Calming himself with supreme effort he repeated himself.

"Very well. Please have a look at my mouth."

"Ok. I'm going to test your gums first. If it hurts at any time please raise a hand to stop me."

Dan had barely placed his hands on Lucius's face when he heard a hiss of pain. He went through all of his gum checks, including the bite, which seemed to be the most painful.

"Without some x-rays and a more thorough examination I can't be certain but I from this I would say you've got periodontitis, a chronic, degenerative gum infection. It's treatable but I'd need a complete diagnosis before I could start, so if you want anything more, you'll have to book in at the surgery."

"What?! I've come to this blasted place to get my mouth fixed and you're telling me you can't do it! Come Draco, we're leaving."

"No Father. He's the best hope you've got, you've got to stay. Please?" Draco replied quickly, turning almost begging eyes onto his father.

"He said he couldn't do anymore" Lucius snapped.

"No, he said he couldn't do anymore until he was in his surgery." Draco turned to Dan. "We couldn't go to your surgery today could we?"

"Ummm, we're not usually open on Saturday afternoons."

"But my father might be persuaded to open for the right price" Hermione butted in.

"Ten galleons."

Hermione snorted. "Not even close, Malfoy. Try again."

"Fifty galleons."

"Getting better."

"I'll give you a hundred galleons to take us there now and not a knut more" Lucius almost shouted.

"Deal."

"I'll get the car out. Mr Malfoy can go in the front" Emma said.

As her mum left, Hermione leant over to her dad and whispered with a grin "you just earned the best part of £300 for a consult!"

Once they arrived Dan directed Lucius to sit in the chair and lie back. He did so with extremely bad grace. He opened his mouth when instructed but as soon as he felt Dan's fingers in his mouth he pushed them away.

"Mr Malfoy, this is just a simple examination. It will be over in no time if you just let me do my job" Dan said with a sigh.

Lucius opened his mouth again with extreme reluctance and allowed Dan to perform his initial check-up, tensing every time he felt anything.

"Hermione could you take Mr Malfoy through to the x-ray room for me?"

"Sure Daddy. This way Mr Malfoy."

The two returned a few minutes later and they conversed with small talk until the x-ray pictures came through. Dan studied them briefly and then turned back to the group.

"Oh dear oh dear we are in trouble Mr Malfoy" he said with a smirk. "You require two extractions, one root canal, four fillings and a deep clean. With your amount of gum swelling even administering local anaesthetic would be torture, so I'm going to refer you for a general."

"General? What in Merlin's name do you need an officer for? Are you admitting that you can't do anything?"

"I apologise Mr Malfoy, I meant general anaesthetic. You go to sleep and when you wake up, it will all be over."

"Sleep? Wake up? What are you on about man? You could do anything to me! I demand a second opinion!"

"Very well, let's see..." Dan spun his chair round to see his computer. "Ah yes Brian's free Monday at ten. I'll book you in with him. He's one of the best in the country, you couldn't do better. When you come in, just tell the receptionist you have an appointment with Dr Reynolds."

Lucius nodded his head to show his understanding.

"When you have finished you are welcome to ask for me. But for now gentlemen, I would like to spend the rest of my weekend with my family. Good day to you."

As soon as the Malfoys had left, Dan flopped back down on his chair with a wicked grin on his face.

"Oh to be a fly on the wall during that consult!" he said.

Emma smirked with him. "Yes, Brian can be a bit fiery when he wants to be! That will be interesting!"

"Well there's no point staying here now, can I treat my two lovely ladies to dinner out?"

"I'm sure we wouldn't mind, where shall we go?" Emma asked.

"Oh Hemmingways."

"Daddy, have I ever told you how much I love you?"

"Not today, go on get in the car" Dan chuckled.