We Always Tell the Truth at Christmas

A/N: It's been awhile since I posted anything. Feedback is always welcomed.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Tonks sat on one of the counters in her apartment with a silly-dazed-grin on her face. As an Auror, she prided herself with being able to handle her liquor but tonight was the exception to the rule. She was drunk and not just a little. She was completely plastered. She held the bottle of liquor close to her, taking a swig every once in awhile. She had lost count of how many shots she had taken at this point, but that didn't matter. Not tonight.

"Okay, here," Tonk's former roommate, Mary Ellen, said, tying to give her a glass of water and some pill that would make her inevitable hangover less painful tomorrow.

Tonks giggled and took another swig from the bottle.

"Come on, give the bottle over."

"Nooooooo," Tonks slurred. She tightened her grip on the bottle and hopped off the counter. Ironically, she managed to not loose her balance and went to walk around her apartment. The party was long over but a few stragglers were still there.

Bill and Fluer were still in the living room talking and so was he: Remus John Lupin, the professor, the werewolf, and the man she loved. They are trying long distance, while he is out on his mission with the werewolves, but their conversation earlier in the night made her think the end is close and she just isn't ready for was staring at him and it must have been a long time because he was looking back at her, watching her with raised eyebrows. She didn't notice that everyone's glances switched between her and Remus.

She took another swig of her drink and stumbled towards the front door. She needed a breath of air.

"Tonks, where are you going?" Mary Ellen called after her.

"I want…air," was all she could mumble as she walked down the hall towards the stairs. She opened the door to the stairs and had made it halfway down before sitting down. She was too dizzy to be doing this. She placed her drink on the step and rested her head on her knees. It didn't make it much better, but it helped…slightly.

"You should probably drink this," said his voice.

Tonks briefly looked up to see Remus sitting next to her. He had placed the glass of water next to her.

"Thanks," she muttered. She sat up and ran her fingers through her long black hair. It was part of her look of the evening. Long black hair, dark makeup, black nails, black halter top that tied around her neck and made her boobs look amazing, ripped black acid stained jeans, large bracelets, dangling earrings, and boots. Black hair was one of the few colors she could still do; maybe it was because her hair was naturally black.

"I shouldn't have stayed," Remus said, leaning back on his elbows and stretching his legs out in front of him.

"No!" her enthusiastic and equally desperate response made both of his eyebrows go high on his face. "I wanted you to stay. I'm glad you came."

He grinned at her before looking forward again.

She was glad that he was there. She had missed him the last couple of months as he was off doing-god-knows-what and living god-knows-where-and-how.

"Anyways, it's Christmas and your…" she abruptly stopped what she had been about to say.

"It's Christmas and…?"

She shifted only to lean against the railing. "You don't want to hear it," her voice was sad, but then again she had been sad for a while now.

"Tell me," he asked, smiling at her.

She shook her head, took the glass of water, raised it to her lips, and took a sip. He had put that funky-sober-up-stuff in it. She could barely taste it as all the alcohol has killed her taste buds earlier in the evening. It wouldn't do much for her now. She was too drunk, but it would make tomorrow a little better.

"Please?"

"No, it will ruin everything and then you'll leave again." She couldn't look at him. She looked at her glass since it was clearly the safer bet.

"What if I promise I won't leave tonight?"

Tonks looked up. She eyed him. "You'll stay with me tonight, if I tell you?"

"I wasn't planning to leave tonight. Plus, I'm not that easily scared away," he clarified. "Anyways, Disapparating is probably a bad idea considering how much I've had to drink."

"Liar."

"Excuse me?"

"L-I-A-R. Liar," she taunted.

"I don't lie," he said, and if she wasn't as drunk and so bold his tone would have frozen her.

"You got scarred, before. That's why you ran away, before."

"I didn't run away."

"You're right, you just left like a bandit in the middle of the night. You didn't even let me know when you were leaving," she said, her tone was that of hurt and anger. She had placed the glass down and was reaching for the bottle of Vodka when Remus grabbed it away. "That's mine," she said through gritted teeth.

"You've had enough," he said.

She scoffed at him, clearly offended. "This is new, taking alcohol away from someone. It never stopped you with Sirius." As soon as she had said it, she regretted it. "Forget I said anything. Go ahead and have it," she said taking the glass of water instead and drinking from it.

Remus sighed. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" she asked.

"For hurting you. That was never my intention—"

"I know. I know, but it still hurts," she could feel tears forming, but wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing them. "God, look at my bloody hair! I can barely even morph anymore. Do you know how long it took me to get it this long?" When he didn't respond, she continued. "Almost two bleedin' hours! As if that wasn't enough, my stupid patronus is a mess."

"I heard a rumor about your patronus," Remus said, casually.

"Yeah, it's you."

They sat in silence for a long time and people from the party walked past them.

"It's painful for me too," Remus finally said. "I know you might not believe me, but it's true."

"I know," Tonks sighed, before she downed the rest of the water. She slowly stood up and balanced on the railing.

"Here, let me help," Remus said, standing up. He reached for her arm and she froze. "Please?" he asked.

Tonks nodded her head and let Remus help her up the stairs. He firmly wrapped and arm around her waist and draped one of her arms over his shoulder. She could help but give in and let her head fall against his chest and she briefly closed her eyes. His scent was intoxicating and the physical contact made her knees go weak. She missed him. She missed how safe she felt with him and how they fit together perfectly.

The door to her apartment opened and Remus walked her to her bedroom. She ignored the concerned looks from Bill, Fluer, and Mary Ellen, as they were the only people left from the party. Thankfully, everyone else was gone.

He opened the bedroom door, briefly letting her go, and then closed it once they were both inside. She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol hitting her, system or just him that made her go woozy. He deposited her so that she was sitting on her bed.

"I'll go now," he said, before kissing the top of her head.

"No," she grabbed for his hand held it. His arm went limp and she rested her forehead against the back of his hand. "Don't go, please?"

"Why don't you get changed? I'll just be on the other side of the door."

"Promise?"

"I promise. I'll just get you another glass of water."

"Okay," she reluctantly let go of him and stood up. She started taking off her shirt, before Remus had the chance to move. "What?" she asked, as he was frozen where he was standing. "It's not like you've never seen me without my clothes on."

"It's just…" He looked away from her lacy bra and turned to head out to the living room. "Nothing," he said with a sigh before he opened and closed the door behind him.

She was able to get the makeup off, changed into a tank and a pair boy shorts, and climb into bed before Remus came back. She had heard worried whispers behind the door. She knew everyone was talking, but didn't care. "Remus," she said loud enough so they could hear her.

He briefly stuck his head into the room. "I'll be there in a second. Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"Yeah, tell everyone to go home and to stop worrying. I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself," she said.

Remus ducked back out of her room and she could Bill mutter something about being careful and people getting hurt. She heard Mary Ellen saying goodnight and the front door close before Remus came back into her room with another glass of water. He put it on her nightstand and sat on her bed. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I don't bite, you know."

Remus smiled, sat more fully on the bed, and swung his legs up on the bed. "You didn't answer my question."

"I'm okay," she said, sitting up a little. "A little dizzy."

"Do you feel sick?"

"No," she said.

"Good."

"Don't do that, please."

"Don't do what?" He looked genuinely confused by her comment.

"You don't have to play doctor with me."

"I'm just concerned about you," he said.

"Everyone is concerned about me these days. I don't need you added to that list."

"Hmm…"

"What?" she asked eyeing him.

He looked at the ceiling for a second, as if consulting stars on her ceiling before answering. "Well, I'm always worrying about you. It doesn't matter if I'm here or out on a mission."

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked. It wasn't like him to say these things, but then again it was a weird night in general.

"It's the truth," he said.

"It's because I'm drunk and you know I probably won't remember most of this tomorrow, isn't it?"

His smile didn't give anything away but she knew she wasn't far off. "It's Christmas, and you always tell the truth at Christmas," Remus finally said, with a wry smile. "You never answered my question."

"Which one?"

"What were you going to say about Christmas, earlier?"

It took her a moment but as the realization set in an "oh" appeared on her face.

"Well," he asked when she didn't reply.

"Well, since it's Christmas and since you tell the truth at Christmas…It's Christmas and it's the time of the year when you want nothing but to spend it with the people you love," Tonks said.

His expression softened but only for a moment before her said: "Dora, I…"

"I love you, Remus. I don't need you to say it back, because I already know how you feel. I just needed to remind you."

"I love you too," he said, letting out a deep breath as if it was hard to say. He moved closer to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She snuggled in closer to him and laid her heavy head on his chest. "God, I love you so much," he breathed out in a whisper.

Tonks moved so that she was looking Remus in the face. She leaned in and when Remus didn't push her away, she kissed him. It was a soft kiss and intoxicating, but it quickly started to change. It was intense and Tonks could feel all of Remus' feelings for the last couple of months. She could feel his want and desire as he kissed her back with urgency and his hands moved up and down her sides before resting on her waist.

Tonks shifted so that she was straddling Remus. Her fingers ran through his hair before cradling his face. She gasped a little in surprise as he pulled her closer to him and his hands splayed on her back and gripped at her.

After a little while, Remus started to pull back. "Dora…"

"Hmm…" Tonks said between light kisses.

"Dora, you're drunk and…" She kissed him to silence him. He broke away and turned his face to the side so that his kiss caught here cheek. "I'm leaving in the morning."

"I don't care," Tonks said. She dropped her head against his chest. "I know it will hurt in the morning, but it won't change how I feel. I just have one request, wake me in the morning and say goodbye."

He looked at Tonks, nodded his head, and pulled her back in for another kiss. It was a kiss full of intensity and soon hands were involved. Her hands hungrily undid the buttons on his shirt and threw it across the room. She moved her hands up and down his chest taking in every detail. Her fingers traced over the new scars and ribs. She knew by looking at him earlier that the months spent with the werewolves had worn on his already slender body, but now she could feel it. The reality made her fingers hungry and she tried to memorize every part of him with her touch. She needed to comfort him but moreover, to reassure him that she wanted him.

He must have gotten the message because he kissed her back with such urgency that it astounded her. His touch was different from usual. Instead of being tentative, he gripped at her and pulled her in closer to him. It was as if he was trying to tell her everything with his kisses and touches and soon they were lost in a haze of each other.

In the morning, he woke her by giving her kisses goodbye. They didn't say anything because they couldn't change the present, but she still hoped for a future. She hoped even though a part of her knew that something horrible was coming.

The End.