Disclaimer: I own nothing.
For your reading pleasure, I have removed all author's notes, review thank- you's, and annoying/potentially embarrassing things in general. I've also given it an easier-to-read format. Enjoy.
***
Jack walked into the village, enjoying the autumn leaves on the trees. He wasn't a man of many words, but he was very observant, and the multi-colored leaves fascinated him. Jack had been in this town for three seasons now, and planned on staying for as long as possible. The villagers were nice and accepted him quickly. He had managed to make friends with everyone. The people intrigued him with their diversity, and he found himself spending less time at his farm and more with the community. His farm was overrun with weeds, and filled with boulders from some unknown source. Jack sighed wistfully. He had definitely ruined what was left of Grandpa's farm. He had no idea what happened to the old dog, and often wondered what happened to the horse Ann gave him.
What Jack was really into was art. Sometimes he would spend the entire day in the mountains, painting the lush foliage. He took pictures of the villagers and took them home to paint. He gave these paintings to others, who were always very pleased with his work.
The villagers understood him. They knew that he didn't want to farm, and they didn't pressure him to. They knew how his parents just wanted someone to take on the family business, and his sisters were out of town when the successor was chosen. Jack was the reluctant recipient of the farm, and he loathed his parents for it. He snarled, and thought of what they'd be doing now in the city. His father was most likely fondling some secretary at a business party, and his mother would be sleeping with a fat man with a mohawk. Jack sighed. There was no use being bitter about life, and he'd might as well enjoy the village. He walked on into the village.
He was immediately pounced upon by a wild pink-haired girl. "Jacky Jack!" she cried, hugging him tightly. "I missed you sooooo much! Want me to model for ya? Huh? Do ya? Huh huh huh?"
Jack's face began to turn blue, and he pointed to it. "Oh!" exclaimed the girl. "Sowwy Jack, guess I don't know my own strength."
She sat up, blushing slightly. Jack gulped in air, and laughed. "It's ok, Popuri," he said.
"Yay!" cried Popuri, and hugged him again, but only for a minute. "I model now!"
Jack rubbed the back of his head. "Not now," he said. "I have some stuff to do in town."
"Tonight in my room, then?" asked Popuri hopefully. Jack shook his head, laughing. "Maybe tomorrow," he said.
She sighed and got off of him. "Ok, but you gotta do me tomorrow! Promise?"
"I promise," said Jack, and walked into the bakery.
"Jack!" cried a girl in the bakery, running to him. She had a mass of mop- like brown hair on her head, and wore a blue dress.
Jack sighed. "What now, Elli?" he asked.
"There's a rat in my hair again!"
Jack groaned. "That's the fifth time this week!" he said, exasperated. "And it's only Tuesday! Why don't you cut your hair?"
"Never!" said Elli defiantly. "Now get that rat out of there."
"But-" protested Jack. "NOW." He shrunk back in fear, and quickly located the rat in her hair, tossing it to the floor. It landed in the heap of dead rats that had accumulated in the room.
"Thank you," said Elli sweetly. "Now, GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY BAKERY! BOUNCE!" Elli raised a foot and slammed it in Jack's rear, causing him to land on the pavement outside the shop. He bounced a few times before standing up and rubbing his sore rear. 'PMS,' he thought.
Jack walked into the church to visit the children there. As soon as he walked in, he was attacked.
"Buy me stuff!" cried the boy with brown hair, also known as Kent.
"Answer me!" screamed the boy with black hair, known in many countries as Stu.
"Have sex with me!" shrieked the little black-haired girl, named May.
The pastor smiled at Jack. "Children are wonderful, aren't they?" he asked. Jack nodded. The children started chattering incessantly at him.
"I'm gonna have a big farm when I grow up! You don't have any animals yet! I want a big cow as a wife!" cried Kent
"Why is the sunset red? Will I understand everything when I grow up? Why do you wear that stupid hat all the time?" inquired Stu.
"I want to read so I can send a letter to my mommy. I want a pretty dress. I want to make wild, passionate love to you!" exclaimed May. Jack patted the children on the heads, and walked out, waving to the pastor. May clung to his leg, but Jack didn't even notice.
He headed toward the library, where he planned on getting a book on art. He heard some moaning and giggling from outside the door, and peeked in warily. A girl with a plain blue dress and black hair was making out with a black-haired postman in a blue uniform. A pair of glasses was discarded on the floor. Jack closed the door quickly, making sure to keep it quiet.
"Are Maria and Harris gettin' their freak on in there?" asked May from Jack's leg.
He looked down, startled. "Since when have you been attached to my leg?"
May laughed. "Shall we follow their example, Big Boy?" Jack kicked his leg and sent the girl flying. She landed on the library roof.
**Inside the library**
Maria sat up. "W-what was that?" she asked, clutching Harris.
"Who the fuck cares, bitch?" he said, and pulled her back down. "Gimme some booty before I get mad and kick some librarian ass." They continued with their business.
Jack ran off to the Green Ranch, happy to get away from the pre-pubescent, horny girl. As he walked in, he ran into Gray. "Hey, Gray," said Jack. "How's your day? Ok?"
Gray scowled. "Fine," he said.
"Yay!" replied Jack. "I say, it's a great day. I pray the sun won't go away. Later I'll pay for a fish fillet on the bay, share it with Faye, and shout 'hooray!'. Come my way, and we can lay in the hay and be gay!"
Gray blushed a deep crimson. Jack's eyes widened, startled. "Hey, Gray, not that way! I meant be happy, like a sun's ray. That's all for today." Jack walked away.
He walked into the field, and was instantly surrounded with animals. "Mooooo!" said a girl in the crowd of animals. She had braided orange hair, walked on all fours, and was completely naked.
"Hey, Ann," said Jack. The girl nuzzled his hand. "Good Ann, you look great today!" He patted Ann's head, and she looked up at him with bright blue eyes. He fed her a handful of fodder, and she accepted it. Ann had been one of his best female friends, and still was. Her father and brother had left her alone on the ranch for a season while they went to whore houses in Las Vegas. Two days into their thirty-day vacation, Ann was hit on the head with some plywood from the decaying roof. The intelligent cow of the herd, Biftec, licked her until she woke up. For the remainder of the season, Biftec and the herd taught Ann the Cow Dao, and she soon shed her "human-fur" and became one of them. When her family returned, they were devastated, but eventually got used to it. She now lived in the barn with the other animals, and spent her days grazing in the field. She still knew who Jack was, and gave him all the cow love he deserved.
Dusk fell as Jack finished visiting with his bovine friend. 'Time for my dancing lessons with Karen,' thought Jack. He made his way down to the beach.
Karen was relaxing on the dock, her feet dangling in the water. "Hey," she said, hearing the crunch of sand beneath heavy boots. "Thought you'd never get here."
Jack smiled. "Well, you gonna teach me or what?" he asked.
She got up, smiling. Karen was wearing her usual denim shorts, white shirt, and violet vest. "Let's go," she said, and began her lesson. Jack followed her steps in a trance-like state. Her brown hair flowed around her as she twirled, her blonde bangs contrasting against the brown. Eventually their pace slowed, and they stood together, swaying slightly.
"Jack?" said Karen, staring up into his eyes.
"Hmmm?" asked Jack, staring back into hers. He felt that the emerald pools would engulf him.
"I don't know how to say this, but..."
"What is it, Karen?" he asked. Time stood still. Jack found himself holding his breath, waiting for her words of love that were sure to come.
"You're standing on my foot." Jack fell over, anime style.
"Ok, now you're laying on it," said Karen. Jack felt his face turn hot. He was very happy it was dark.
"Sorry," he said. He stood up and brushed the sand off his clothes.
"You had a weird look in your eyes," said Karen. "What was up with you?"
Jack shrugged. "Just...thinking," he said. He mentally high-fived himself with that great cover-up.
Karen raised an eyebrow, and then shrugged. "Well, I'm off," she said. "'Night."
"'Night," echoed Jack, and watched her form disappear in the darkness. He sighed and rose, heading home for the day.
For your reading pleasure, I have removed all author's notes, review thank- you's, and annoying/potentially embarrassing things in general. I've also given it an easier-to-read format. Enjoy.
***
Jack walked into the village, enjoying the autumn leaves on the trees. He wasn't a man of many words, but he was very observant, and the multi-colored leaves fascinated him. Jack had been in this town for three seasons now, and planned on staying for as long as possible. The villagers were nice and accepted him quickly. He had managed to make friends with everyone. The people intrigued him with their diversity, and he found himself spending less time at his farm and more with the community. His farm was overrun with weeds, and filled with boulders from some unknown source. Jack sighed wistfully. He had definitely ruined what was left of Grandpa's farm. He had no idea what happened to the old dog, and often wondered what happened to the horse Ann gave him.
What Jack was really into was art. Sometimes he would spend the entire day in the mountains, painting the lush foliage. He took pictures of the villagers and took them home to paint. He gave these paintings to others, who were always very pleased with his work.
The villagers understood him. They knew that he didn't want to farm, and they didn't pressure him to. They knew how his parents just wanted someone to take on the family business, and his sisters were out of town when the successor was chosen. Jack was the reluctant recipient of the farm, and he loathed his parents for it. He snarled, and thought of what they'd be doing now in the city. His father was most likely fondling some secretary at a business party, and his mother would be sleeping with a fat man with a mohawk. Jack sighed. There was no use being bitter about life, and he'd might as well enjoy the village. He walked on into the village.
He was immediately pounced upon by a wild pink-haired girl. "Jacky Jack!" she cried, hugging him tightly. "I missed you sooooo much! Want me to model for ya? Huh? Do ya? Huh huh huh?"
Jack's face began to turn blue, and he pointed to it. "Oh!" exclaimed the girl. "Sowwy Jack, guess I don't know my own strength."
She sat up, blushing slightly. Jack gulped in air, and laughed. "It's ok, Popuri," he said.
"Yay!" cried Popuri, and hugged him again, but only for a minute. "I model now!"
Jack rubbed the back of his head. "Not now," he said. "I have some stuff to do in town."
"Tonight in my room, then?" asked Popuri hopefully. Jack shook his head, laughing. "Maybe tomorrow," he said.
She sighed and got off of him. "Ok, but you gotta do me tomorrow! Promise?"
"I promise," said Jack, and walked into the bakery.
"Jack!" cried a girl in the bakery, running to him. She had a mass of mop- like brown hair on her head, and wore a blue dress.
Jack sighed. "What now, Elli?" he asked.
"There's a rat in my hair again!"
Jack groaned. "That's the fifth time this week!" he said, exasperated. "And it's only Tuesday! Why don't you cut your hair?"
"Never!" said Elli defiantly. "Now get that rat out of there."
"But-" protested Jack. "NOW." He shrunk back in fear, and quickly located the rat in her hair, tossing it to the floor. It landed in the heap of dead rats that had accumulated in the room.
"Thank you," said Elli sweetly. "Now, GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY BAKERY! BOUNCE!" Elli raised a foot and slammed it in Jack's rear, causing him to land on the pavement outside the shop. He bounced a few times before standing up and rubbing his sore rear. 'PMS,' he thought.
Jack walked into the church to visit the children there. As soon as he walked in, he was attacked.
"Buy me stuff!" cried the boy with brown hair, also known as Kent.
"Answer me!" screamed the boy with black hair, known in many countries as Stu.
"Have sex with me!" shrieked the little black-haired girl, named May.
The pastor smiled at Jack. "Children are wonderful, aren't they?" he asked. Jack nodded. The children started chattering incessantly at him.
"I'm gonna have a big farm when I grow up! You don't have any animals yet! I want a big cow as a wife!" cried Kent
"Why is the sunset red? Will I understand everything when I grow up? Why do you wear that stupid hat all the time?" inquired Stu.
"I want to read so I can send a letter to my mommy. I want a pretty dress. I want to make wild, passionate love to you!" exclaimed May. Jack patted the children on the heads, and walked out, waving to the pastor. May clung to his leg, but Jack didn't even notice.
He headed toward the library, where he planned on getting a book on art. He heard some moaning and giggling from outside the door, and peeked in warily. A girl with a plain blue dress and black hair was making out with a black-haired postman in a blue uniform. A pair of glasses was discarded on the floor. Jack closed the door quickly, making sure to keep it quiet.
"Are Maria and Harris gettin' their freak on in there?" asked May from Jack's leg.
He looked down, startled. "Since when have you been attached to my leg?"
May laughed. "Shall we follow their example, Big Boy?" Jack kicked his leg and sent the girl flying. She landed on the library roof.
**Inside the library**
Maria sat up. "W-what was that?" she asked, clutching Harris.
"Who the fuck cares, bitch?" he said, and pulled her back down. "Gimme some booty before I get mad and kick some librarian ass." They continued with their business.
Jack ran off to the Green Ranch, happy to get away from the pre-pubescent, horny girl. As he walked in, he ran into Gray. "Hey, Gray," said Jack. "How's your day? Ok?"
Gray scowled. "Fine," he said.
"Yay!" replied Jack. "I say, it's a great day. I pray the sun won't go away. Later I'll pay for a fish fillet on the bay, share it with Faye, and shout 'hooray!'. Come my way, and we can lay in the hay and be gay!"
Gray blushed a deep crimson. Jack's eyes widened, startled. "Hey, Gray, not that way! I meant be happy, like a sun's ray. That's all for today." Jack walked away.
He walked into the field, and was instantly surrounded with animals. "Mooooo!" said a girl in the crowd of animals. She had braided orange hair, walked on all fours, and was completely naked.
"Hey, Ann," said Jack. The girl nuzzled his hand. "Good Ann, you look great today!" He patted Ann's head, and she looked up at him with bright blue eyes. He fed her a handful of fodder, and she accepted it. Ann had been one of his best female friends, and still was. Her father and brother had left her alone on the ranch for a season while they went to whore houses in Las Vegas. Two days into their thirty-day vacation, Ann was hit on the head with some plywood from the decaying roof. The intelligent cow of the herd, Biftec, licked her until she woke up. For the remainder of the season, Biftec and the herd taught Ann the Cow Dao, and she soon shed her "human-fur" and became one of them. When her family returned, they were devastated, but eventually got used to it. She now lived in the barn with the other animals, and spent her days grazing in the field. She still knew who Jack was, and gave him all the cow love he deserved.
Dusk fell as Jack finished visiting with his bovine friend. 'Time for my dancing lessons with Karen,' thought Jack. He made his way down to the beach.
Karen was relaxing on the dock, her feet dangling in the water. "Hey," she said, hearing the crunch of sand beneath heavy boots. "Thought you'd never get here."
Jack smiled. "Well, you gonna teach me or what?" he asked.
She got up, smiling. Karen was wearing her usual denim shorts, white shirt, and violet vest. "Let's go," she said, and began her lesson. Jack followed her steps in a trance-like state. Her brown hair flowed around her as she twirled, her blonde bangs contrasting against the brown. Eventually their pace slowed, and they stood together, swaying slightly.
"Jack?" said Karen, staring up into his eyes.
"Hmmm?" asked Jack, staring back into hers. He felt that the emerald pools would engulf him.
"I don't know how to say this, but..."
"What is it, Karen?" he asked. Time stood still. Jack found himself holding his breath, waiting for her words of love that were sure to come.
"You're standing on my foot." Jack fell over, anime style.
"Ok, now you're laying on it," said Karen. Jack felt his face turn hot. He was very happy it was dark.
"Sorry," he said. He stood up and brushed the sand off his clothes.
"You had a weird look in your eyes," said Karen. "What was up with you?"
Jack shrugged. "Just...thinking," he said. He mentally high-fived himself with that great cover-up.
Karen raised an eyebrow, and then shrugged. "Well, I'm off," she said. "'Night."
"'Night," echoed Jack, and watched her form disappear in the darkness. He sighed and rose, heading home for the day.