Barry turned the page of the newest issue of his favorite science magazine and sighed, realizing he was squeezing his thigh again. It was a new habit he had developed since waking up and he didn't even really know why he did it, it's not like anything was changing. It had been three days and he was still paralyzed.

He knew Caitlin felt guilty about it. She hadn't found the injury and she hadn't been able to fix it either but Barry knew it wasn't her fault. The situation sucked but it wasn't anyone's fault but his own. Jay hadn't come back since warning him he would lose against Zoom, he had said it would result in him losing his powers or worse, his death; of course he was right and if he could, Barry would be kicking himself right now.

The speedster was currently seated on the couch, in the cortex, his wheelchair beside him. Cisco had added the little love-seat for him because while he was growing used to his new disability he still didn't like showing it off or talking much about it.

Caitlin and Cisco were working on something on the computers and kept giving him admonishing looks whenever he squeezed his thigh; he was just about to tell them to leave him alone when voices erupted from the doorway and the Arrow team stepped through.

Felicity immediately smiled when she saw Barry and let go of Oliver's hand to come say hello.

"Hey Barry! Long-time no see." She seemed confused as to why he wasn't standing up to greet her but bent down to hug him from the couch anyway. The rest of the team said their hellos and all the noise brought out Joe and Iris from where they had been working too.

Barry had, by now, figured out that while Caitlin and Cisco had requested their visit to help with a few new meta humans that popped up, they had not told them about Barry's predicament.

"So Cisco said you needed help with a new meta human. What's so special about this one that you need help with it?" Oliver, straight to the point as always, was waiting for an answer but Barry didn't know what to say, especially with everyone staring at him.

"Cisco didn't tell you did he?"

Felicity sat down on the couch next to him, her smile fading a little at the CSI's somber tone.

"Tell us what?"

Barry wanted so badly not to have to tell them. He didn't want to see the pity appear in their eyes. Right now they still thought of him as the hero, one of the team, but he knew that as soon as he told them all they would see was poor broken Barry. And he hated it.

His new habit made him want to squeeze his lifeless thighs but Caitlin was watching him closely and had already told him off for the bruising he had created, so he simply squeezed his hands into fists and pressed them into his legs where he could stare down at them and avoid everyone's stares.

Taking a deep breath he forced the words from his mouth, and they came out sounding as bitter as they had tasted.

"I went up against Zoom. I lost. And now that's mine." He pointed to the wheelchair beside him and waited for it to sink in.

In the few silent seconds Iris' hand appeared on Barry's shoulder and his team moved just a little closer to him, in silent support.

Oliver seemed to understand first.

"Barry…." But of course he didn't know what to say. He knew how much the kids speed meant to him and now….

Felicity looked back and forth between the wheelchair and Barry, and then turned her gaze to where the Flash suit usually sat. Cisco had stored it somewhere else after Barry stared at it from his wheelchair for over an hour a few days ago.

"I don't unders…. Barry what are you saying?"

Felicity of course understood but just didn't want to, her eyes shining wet with tears and Barry couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this. Joe?" He hated that he couldn't simply walk away from this conversation or that he wasn't able to get himself into his wheelchair by himself yet. He didn't want to have to do this in front of them, he hated doing it in front of Iris and the others anyway but after this no one would see him as strong ever again.

Joe understood and came to stand in front of his son, wheeling the chair a little closer and angling it into position, before bracing his hands under Barry's armpits and lifting him onto his limp legs. Barry kept his hands on his adoptive father's shoulders and his eyes away from the Arrow team as Joe transferred him to his wheelchair.

Felicities gasp was muffled only by her own hand that flew up to her mouth when she saw what had happened to her friend. Barry's own tears of embarrassment started to fall as he used his shaking hands to lift his legs and feet onto the little ledge.

"Son-" Barry ignored Joe and sped off, not wanting to break down in front of anyone for the millionth time.

Iris watched her best friend go and looked apologetically at Oliver and Felicity, and at Diggle who still hadn't said anything.

"I'm sorry, he just doesn't like talking about it yet. The past few days have been really hard on him. Caitlin will explain everything, I'll go talk to Barry." The girl left and all eyes were suddenly on Caitlin.

"We have a lot to discuss."