Dead Space?

This is a work of Fan fiction. All of the original characters, organizations, techniques, summon animals and events portrayed in this fictional literature are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictionally. Though the majority of the events and most characters take place in and are a part of Marvel universe, and of Bioware's Mass Effect.

Normal speech: I hate paperwork. I bet Thanos is giving me more on purpose.

Flashback Begins: ***

Flashback Ends:

Scroll/Book/Author notes/Event/ Titles: Priority: Omega

Demon/Summon or Fusion speech: Finally, I, Deadpool am free. In your face Illusive Man!

Human Thinking: 'Oh, Shit.'

Demon/Summon or Fusion Thinking: 'Oh, Shit is right! You are royally screwed bitch!'

Jutsu/Techniques/Spells: Hadoken

Song start-} {

Song ends-} {

Chapter 2: For my Lady

"Ohhh…did someone get the purple chicka' number she owes me a date for that." Wade groaned as he pushed himself off the bed.

"Hmm lingering dangerous thoughts, result of possible concussion? No, concussion would've receded. Brain damage despite regenerative capabilities? Possible but require more tests to verify also possibility that subject is insane to seek a romantic interlude with Aria T'Loak. But on another note is good to see you respond splendidly to the altered retro-virus, though initially purposed for bolstering Krogan physiology through their immense regeneration it was but a simple matter to alter it to your unique physiology. That itself is strange while genuinely human there are strange mutates and foreign genetic material introduced to you possibly some irrational unethical experiment of some sort but you have an unquantifiable capability of regeneration and I use that term loosely, now the Krogan retro-virus I applied to you should have streamlined that foreign genes that were introduced to you which your body was actually rejecting but because of the mutate in the gene it either caused your cancerous symptoms or sped existing ones to monstrous proportions. You will be pleased to know that 90% of the cancerous material in your body has been eliminated only your blood now has the quality of sickle shape cancer but otherwise you are in prime physical condition, would make clear to you that donating blood is not a viable option to you might make things messy. Really surprising to see a human as hardy as you, makes me wonder if all humans have such a potential but also realize the danger inherent in such so accept Aria's want for secrecy."

Wade Wilson AKA Deadpool the merc with the mouth for the first time in his career as an entertainer felt that he has come across a match to his title of 'merc with a mouth' as he stared at the amphibian like alien, who was busy clicking over some orange light around his arm as he gestured to Wade and spoke a mile a second.

He paused in what seemed like an eternity to Wade and asked "Did you get all that?"

Wade scratched his chin "Great. I think I got…but just in case tell me the whole thing again. I wasn't listening."

Grizz Aria's toughened Bodyguard and former soldier in the Turian Fleet gave out a long suffering groan as the Salarian Mordin Solus didn't even blink as he repeated every word he just said somehow in even greater detail.

'I remember now…I quit because I was getting stationed at too many Salarian worlds.' Grizz had conveniently tuned out the ramblings, an acquired skill he would say, till he nearly drew his weapon and fired at a near girly screech emanating from the human.

"I LOOK LIKE RYAN REYNOLDS!"

Dr. Solus took his reaction in stride as he simply cocked his head and asked "Sorry I'm unaware of human actors but is this…Ryan Reynolds an entertainer of sorts and by your tone of voice and that wide smile I say it is a high probability that you are happy with this outcome."

"You kidding Doc?! This is great I look great not that I didn't look great before but now chicks will be lining up to have a go at this." Wade pointed at himself which revealed his unblemished skin, no cancerous pores all over his skin making him look like an offspring of an avocado with an older avocado. "Oi been watching the trailer?"

"Sorry? Watching what trailer and why would baby avian be lining up for you?" Dr. Solus then grasped his chin for a moment "Ah, you mean females. Yes, I suppose your new appearance would make you a highly attractive mate." Dr. Solus turned to Grizz "I have done as Aria requested but I'd like to run more tests on him discreetly of course so please pass on the message to her."

"Will do." Grizz then addressed Wade "Name's Grizz, get dressed Aria wants to see you."

"Oh my, she's so forward."

"You are one crazy bastard. I would pay to see Aria take your head off." Grizz paused as a last days memories surfaced "Say would beheading you even kill you?"

"Nope."

.

.

Aria found herself facing the clown from the day before, the one who came in to save and consequently romance her. 'Well he is handsome enough for a human…'

"Don't stare so hard you're making me blush."

"You say that but you haven't stopped staring at my breasts." Aria smiled coldly as she leaned a bit forward, Aria knew what she had and how to use it one of the advantages of a long lifespan, nothing but time itself to hone ones skills in numerous crafts. Seduction is an art every Commando learns as basics, never know when one may be forced to go undercover.

Being an Asari Aria knew better than to avoid a weapon in her arsenal not that she ever needed it, fear works just as well on Omega. Using such minor techniques on this man would be worthwhile, she can't leave Omega but she knows her adversaries are moving about outside its borders and she never had any agent she could trust to do work she may require. She knew the Collectors were up to something horrific and she doubted they would stop with human colonies, the Illusive Man is nothing but a child who has no clue what he's playing with and the gangs are mere background noise for now.

She wished she could shoot Vosque but it wouldn't do to kill the head of the Blue Suns syndicate even if he was a pig at least the clown standing before her as blatant as his affections are is more chivalrous who knows she might even give him a bite of the forbidden fruit if he proves worth it.

She barely acknowledged that last thought when she witnessed him doing something absolutely strange "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to select the paragon dialogue choice to make you get attracted to me but I don't have enough paragon points." Wade kept trying to poke empty air and look visibly frustrated.

Aria simply raised a brow at his words but ignored his antics "So what would you say about working for me?"

"That you're on top…"

The corner of Aria's mouth twitched and for a moment she lost her centuries honed control of her emotions and biotics but it was for barely a sec before she schooled her features "Funny. With a mouth like that I'm surprised you made it as far as Omega with nothing but some guns and swords, Grizz outfit him and I know what you took from those fools you killed in the alley I don't know where you stashed everything you took but use that as well."

Wade gave her a salute and joined Grizz on the way out fishing out the data pad from his satchel "Boss lady wants, Sexy Boss lady gets."

Grizz remarked blandly "You know I'm going to enjoy your insanity especially when Aria drops you through an airlock."

As they left Aria's second-in-command and trusted bodyguard couldn't help but question "Ma'am is it ok to let that human have so much leeway?"

Aria scoffed in response "That new gang Talons has gotten a bit bold as of late. I was looking to hire some mercenary to cull their numbers, one just dropped in my lap…and despite my misgivings about him I can't deny for a human he far more skilled that any Asari Commando." She pulled up a video recording of an alleyway on her Omni-tool, the image was grainy and unclear but she paused just as Deadpool's swords cut right through the victims shield and biotic barrier, "Liselle could use him on her team for now."

Anto Korragan shivered as he remembered how the hole in the human's head knitted itself and he kept walking about afterwards perhaps that drunk human patron the same night had the right idea when he called the clown a devil and ran out.

.

.

Grizz clicked in frustration as his partner in crime as the man put it was humming and skipping like a little girl through the warehouse area, he was led to a certain storage unit the symbol of the Blue Suns emblazoned on its side was all anyone needed to know that if steal from the Suns then your life is forfeit. But this guy…

"Oi Grizz! Take a picture would you, I want those cockups to know who's stealing from them." Grizz simply sighed and used the Omni-tool to take a picture of the posing Deadpool and sent it through numerous channels to make sure it reached the Blue Suns but unable to trace it back to him.

"Hey what is that orange light around your arm anyway?" Deadpool remarked as he began rummaging through the storage picking up many more weapons and armor.

Grizz couldn't tell if the human was being serious but shrugged "It's called an Omni-tool, you probably need one and I'll probably have to teach you how to use it too…"

"Nah just give me a good one and the guy writing the fic will fill me in." Deadpool paused as a thought came to him "Can it be used as a weapon?"

"Sure. Mostly melee type weaponry but I hear the Talon gang somehow managed to get a mod for a ranged, an Omni-bow. I know a guy on Omega who could give you something like that, heck he's the only one who could give the Talons something like that." Grizz tapped on his Omni-tool, "He's nearby, if you want we can commission him to give you a couple anyw…"

Grizz stopped to see Deadpool stuff a M-76 Revenant Assault Rifle into a satchel a quarter of the size but what surprised Grizz to gape openly was the fact that it actually fit and then Deadpool proceeded to stuff more weapons into it M-15 Vindicator Battle Rifle, a couple of Carnifex Heavy Pistols, M-27 Scimitar Shotgun, M-300 Claymore Heavy shotgun and a ML-77 Missile Launcher and just as Deadpool began to push the launcher into the satchel he noticed Grizz staring at him.

"Don't worry! I'm an expert at putting phallic objects into tight spaces."

Grizz simply stared at him push the weapon inside and he picked it up like it weighed nothing, he threw his hands in the air in defeat "You know what, I don't wanna know and I don't care. I'll get the credits and then we can see about getting you Omni-tools before you drive me insane."

Which didn't take very long as the Batarian tech specialist could easily retrofit a custom pair of Omni-Tools for Wade to use from all the Omni-tool modules he got off the dead mercenaries and their stash. He even got the Batarian to give his armor a few upgrades, not much but every little bit helped, now Deadpool only needed a paint job for the armor, red and black were his calling cards after all.

'Grizz is now my new favorite bud just above old Bladie, bird knows were to get the best hookups. Man I look badass!' Deadpool stood in front of a mirror dressed in full armor, his Adamantium Katanas set on his back along with a Revenant Assault rifle, two Carnifex Pistols on his hip along with his satchel. Of course all of this over his repaired costume, he put on his mask and whistled "Man I look good."

"I quite agree with that." Wade turned around to see a purple skinned Asari, like Aria but dressed in grey armor and she seemed like an 18 year old version of Aria but with white markings on her face similar to Aria's black markings.

Grizz sighed "Liselle, you weren't supposed to leave your position."

"Mother can crib all she wants, I was the one who uncovered the Talons plans so I get to take them out." Grizz sighed the girl was as scary as Aria at the best of times "Where is Aryna anyway?"

A loud knock at the door showed another Asari woman with a long scar over the right side of her face, unlike Aria or Liselle she had blue skin, green eyes and decked in a grey armor that looked heavier than the norm.

"The girl ditched me again, Grizz I need you to fix me a drink."

Deadpool hummed to himself and leaned against a corner "Why do I feel like a third wheel here?"

Grizz promptly answered "Because you're a freak of nature?"

"I was going with insanity, demonic possession, immortality, medium awareness and Bovinophobia…but sure let's go with that." Deadpool's words got the three to stare at him strangely as he hummed a tune and began to check his weapons.

Aryna Rani, Asari Commando and best friend of Aria questioned "Demonic Possession?"

"Well to be honest part of soul is in possession of my demonic wife…I mean that literally but meh, any demon or spirit possessing me get out eventually crazier than they were going in." His nonchalant shrug as he explained something like that got them wondering if he was dead serious about it or not.

Liselle was far more interested in the mundane point he made "You're afraid of cows?"

"Ever stared into the dead eyed monsters, they watch you and they know don't ask me how I know but they know and they want to be eaten! Do you understand, they want to be eaten! Scariest revelation of my life…" Deadpool waved his hands around like a crazed preacher before switching to a more thoughtful expression in an instant "Though there was a time that came a good second to that fear of mine and that's when I was cursed by that nut case of a god Loki to have the face of Tom Cruise, I call it TomCruiseophobia I kept getting that damnable mission impossible music playing in my head and that's not the worst part, the worst part is my life was getting ruined by the face…"

Both the Asari gave a questioning look to Grizz who sighed again "I got to work up the courage to ask Aria for a raise."

Wade Wilson growled "Sigh again I dare you, annoying chicken."

So slow chapter, just wanted this out of the way...

Got Deadpool all decked out, i always got his back till he badmouths me and i decide to drop a Reaper on his head,

according to the timeline he's a year and half before Shepard is revived fully so next chap will see some more fairly normal action but hey its deadpool he'll think of something...

Merry Christmas guys!