Author's Note: Thanks to Makokam for reminding me about a critically important anniversary! Please read his latest Precocious Crush chapter. Just ten years ago, Kick-Ass was released to the world as a live action movie. We all got to see Aaron Johnson as Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass making an arse of himself while Chloë Grace Moretz as the diminutive Mindy Macready/Hit Girl dropped the 'c-word' to shock the world. All before our manic vigilante was rescued from a kitchen cupboard by that very same dick in a wetsuit wearing a jet pack armed with, of all things, a pair of fucking Gatling guns! Yes, that phrase lives on and has inspired much: 'Okay, you cunts. Let's see what you can do now.' I was astounded and intrigued when I first heard that phrase and the associated scene; I was hooked. I went in search of Fan Fiction, and I read Makokam's Precocious Crush – the rest, as they say, is history.

Ten years!

Would you fucking believe it?

Ten whole years have passed since my Daddy died. Ten whole years have passed since my, admittedly warped, life came apart. Ten whole years since I met Dave. Looking back, so much has happened, so much good, and some bad - but that's just life, I suppose.

I look back at those ten years and I consider how lucky I am to be alive. So many times, things went so wrong, that I could have died. Annoyingly, it was not always yours truly who pulled herself out of the dangerous situation, it was that untrained, borderline-useless, asshole in a wetsuit!

How far I have fallen from being the invincible vigilante nobody even knew existed. Drug dealers died but zero evidence was ever left behind, and the cops were always left scratching their heads. A rollercoaster ride. That was the best description for my life. For every up, there was usually a down. For every sideways movement, there was an opposite thrust. I was trained to be a weapon. I was trained to kill without conscious thought. I was a weapon that my Daddy deployed into dangerous situations knowing that I had every skill that I would ever need to survive the encounter. I fought fully grown adults armed with guns, machetes, knives, swords - you name it. Me, I just had my trusty bō-staff, knives, pistols, and a weird-looking yellow grenade.

Oh, how I loved it when Daddy told me to get changed into my costume. I loved the outfit, from the purple wig all the way down to my Doc Martin boots. I loved the tartan skirt and the pink utility belt. Overall, I loved purple. I loved the thought of taking down some more cunts, with practised ease, and I so wanted to encounter that intoxicating coppery smell that filled a room when large amounts of blood was spilt.

Everything had gone so well until that fateful evening when I snuck into Rasul's joint to find that total dick cowering on the floor. He was a distraction. His being there messed up my carefully planned assault which should have gone like clockwork, but instead, I almost got knifed in the back by some fat bastard of a doorman. If it weren't for Big Daddy watching my back, that would have been it. Why was I distracted? It took me a while to figure that one out, but then I realised it, I wanted Kick-Ass to notice me - I wanted a friend.

That was kind of understandable, considering that I had been alone with Daddy for the latter six years of my life. I had had no friends. I had had nobody to play with or interact with other than Daddy. In fact, I never really played - it was all training and learning. Don't get me wrong, the learning and training was fun, but I suppose the lack of human contact was a problem for me and I had never really noticed it. No one had ever survived an encounter with yours truly, up until that night at Rasul's. Daddy and I broke a major rule allowing Kick-Ass to live. In hindsight, it had been our undoing . . . but had it?

Yes, Kick-Ass had sold us out - unwittingly, of course - to Red Mist . . . fuck dammit, those goddamn bullets had fucking hurt, not to mention the fall! Three fucking bullets! Goddammit! That fucking cocksucker shot me in the goddamn chest three fucking times! Christ, it really riles me up every time that memory comes around again. Okay, calm down, Mindy - the fucker paid for it in the end.

But then Kick-Ass had saved me - I suppose the fucker owed me that - but I hate remembering how I cowered in a fucking kitchen cupboard. On the plus side, he did look fucking awesome in that Gatling-armed jetpack!

I was suddenly jerked back to the current moment by a familiar voice.

"Hey!"

"Huh?"

"What's with the fucking daydreaming, honey?"

"My mind drifted; let's get to work!"

My partner, clad in his green and yellow body armour, broke into a run and he vaulted over to the next building. I sighed, remembering that first time, so many years before when he had balked at such a simple jump. I vaulted after him, hitting the other roof and effortlessly rolling back to my feet. He vanished down a fire escape and I followed behind – once I had led; how things change. We dropped down two levels before my partner paused outside an apartment window. I grinned – he always did like to make an entrance, upstaging me if he could.

With a ginormous crash, the wood and glass exploded inwards as his armoured bulk smashed through into the apartment beyond. A cavalcade of bullets erupted out a few seconds later, each bullet striking his solid armour and causing little more than scratches. Then, as the gunfire faded, my partner was surrounded by eight men and women – all armed. That was my cue to enter the apartment via the shattered window and as I landed on the floor, with a flourish which nobody saw, I brandished my bō-staff, then drove the tip with its perfect blade into the back of a man standing just a few feet inside the apartment.

The man braced up as the tip of the blade erupted from his chest. Then he jerked feebly as I yanked the blade back out of the man's torso and he fell to his knees before he crashed to the floor. I swung my bō-staff to a vertical position, and I glared at all those who dared to threaten my partner, my husband, relishing in the fear which I could see I had invoked in those eyes with the very sight of me.

Kick-Ass chuckled as he allowed me to take centre stage.

"Happy anniversary, honey!"

I grinned beneath my mask as I took a step forward.

"Okay, you cunts. Let's see what you can do now."