"How could I have been so fucking oblivious, Frankie?" Jane paced back and forth in the squad room. It had been nearly 6 hours, and they had no real leads yet. Only an untraceable burner phone used to call Maura. She paused, lifting both hands to her face, pressing the bridge of her nose between her index fingers. "I… she's… damn it, she's my best friend. My fucking best friend. She and Ma basically live in the same house. How could I forget to call her? To warn her?" Her voice cracked with emotion as she slammed a fist down on Frost's desk. Her curls hung in front of her face as she hunched her shoulders and bowed her head, pushing back against the edge of the desk.

The younger Rizzoli got up quickly out of Jane's chair, the one he'd be sitting in since the moment they'd realized Maura had been taken. Jane had wanted someone to stay there to answer her desk phone in case by some miracle Maura called. "Janie, it's not your…"

"Don't. Don't." Jane cut her brother off before he could finish. "Don't you dare say it." She lifted and turned her head just enough to stare straight at him with those piercing dark eyes, trying to turn all her guilt and horror at what had happened into a tangible anger. If she could be angry at Frankie just for a minute, maybe she could forget just how angry she was with herself. "I," she emphasized, pointing a finger to her chest, "let her down." Her brother frowned but said nothing more. He didn't have the courage to go toe to toe with his big sister in a time like this one.

"So then do something about it, Detective." Surprised, Jane straightened up and looked towards from where the voice had come, at computer-wiz Nina Holiday who stood in the door of the tech room. Nina was tough, but she usually wasn't this forward, especially with Jane. The way she had said it wasn't condescending or abrasive, but matter-of-fact.

"You are the best there is, Rizzoli," Nina offered, her tone kind but direct. "No offense, Frankie. But Jane, you're the best we've got. You know Maura better than any of us. If there's a way to bring her home, you're going to find it. So whatever it is that you're feeling right now, whatever guilt or regret or self-loathing you've got going on right now, you gotta put it aside. Maura still needs you. You've got to focus, Jane. Save the feelings for when she's back, safe." As she spoke she had walked slowly towards the brunette and was now within arms' reach, but she made no effort to comfort the detective. "We all have to."

Jane stood silent for a few moments more. She knew it was true, but she didn't know how to ignore the excruciating torment she felt over Maura's abduction. Maura, her Maura, the one person who really ever understood Jane, had been taken. Maura, who always thought of Jane first – not her job, not her family, but Jane. Her Maura, whose first item on her own bucket list was to do something from Jane's. God, she was special. And Jane had taken her for granted. Jane wallowed in her own self-pity. She knew Nina was right, but she didn't think she was physically or emotionally capable of taking her emotions out of the equation this time.

Jane thought for a moment about the last time she had seen Maura. She had gone down to the morgue to see Boston's Chief Medical Examiner, to unload the stress and frustration which had been building up ever since they hit a brick wall in their investigation into who had set fire to Jane's apartment. Maura had always been Jane's sounding board and this time was no different. She had slumped down onto the couch in Maura's office, sulking as best she knew how. It made her feel better, even if just a little. They had talked, Maura mostly trying to distract Jane with what-ifs and other lives, and Maura like always had been ready to share something personal about herself in an attempt to get the detective's defenses down just for a minute. But Jane was stubborn. Maura had even tried a bit of humor to lift her spirits but she just wasn't in the mood. After that, Jane remembered standing abruptly and walking out of the office with the excuse of letting the ME get back to her work, and Jane recalled Maura reaching out for her hand, asking her to stay, but she had skirted her reach and kept walking, turning back only to half-heartedly reassure Maura that she was fine. But Maura could see right through her and Jane knew it.

The truth was that Maura was incredibly good at breaking down Jane's walls, and Jane was sure that had she stayed another minute on that couch, the doctor would have gotten her to confess what was really wrong – that Jane, tough, no-nonsense Detective Rizzoli, felt terrified and helpless. So instead of admitting to what she saw as her weaknesses, she ran. "Coward," Jane thought, squeezing her eyes shut at the memory.

"Maybe it would help if you..." at that moment, Maura's voice popped into Jane's head. Something she had said before Jane had stood and walked out. Advice. Good advice. God, even now, Maura was the one helping her through this crisis.

Jane straightened, and then, shaking her head as if trying to dislodge the thought, looking back at Nina. "You're right. You're absolutely right. I've gotta get my head in the game here. I haven't been able to think straight ever since that first call went to voicemail." That wasn't exactly true. In reality, it had been from the second she had pressed 2 on speed dial that a sickening, sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach had taken over, and after only the first unanswered ring, her vision had started to fog and her heart started to race. By the time she actually heard Maura's voicemail message, she was already in a complete panic. The rest was a blur: the race to the precinct, Jane frantically searching the morgue, cross-examining unwitting lab assistants as if they were guilty perps. They learned Maura had received a call to a scene and left the office, and they traced Maura's cellphone to a back alley in the city, which had thus far turned up no clues other than Maura's empty car and her iPhone. The forensic team was still going over everything but preliminary findings showed the kidnapper had been careful about leaving behind no traces.

Jane took a deep breath, shook her head once more and rolled her shoulders backwards. "I need to get back to the scene and look at everything again. Maybe something will stick out that I didn't see before. You coming?" She pointed at her younger brother as she hurried to grab her coat off the back of her chair. "Yeah, of course, Janie."

As the two Rizzolis hurried out of the squad room, Frankie looked back at Nina and mouthed the words "thank you" as his sister pulled him on to the elevator.

She had recognized him the minute he had spoken to her. He was wearing a mask, had only said two words and she had never heard his voice so low or menacing before, but still she recognized it immediately. Her genius mind raced as she tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Why would he do this to her? What did he want with her? Or from her?

For the moment, she decided to keep the fact that she knew his identity to herself. He hadn't removed his black hood or mask, even after they'd long been out of the city and there was no one around to see his face except Maura. She could only imagine he was trying to keep himself hidden from her as well. He had spoken – more like growled – once, as he held a sharp blade to her pulse point, when after driving for 3 hours and 46 minutes he had pulled over to the side of the nearly deserted road they were travelling. When he had opened the driver's side door to get out, no overhead light had come on, and they remained in total darkness. He had gotten out of the car and immediately back in again, this time sliding into the back seat next to Maura, slowly placing his gloved hand on Maura's trembling knee while his other hand pressed a No. 23 surgical blade to her neck. "Be good," he had snarled, the "or else" implied by his tone and gestures. It almost seemed forced, like he was trying his hardest to appear as intimidating as possible. An act, almost. Too dramatic. It wasn't much to go on, but it was enough for Maura's incredible brain to recognize the voice pattern and accent. Her eyes opened wide with recognition and then confusion, and she turned her head quickly but carefully to the side, hoping to hide her realization from her captor. Luckily he mistook her shock for fear.

After once again climbing out of the car, he opened the trunk and Maura could hear the sloshing of liquid and then what sounded like refilling the gas tank. Since they were quite clearly nowhere near a gas station, Maura could only imagine that he had brought along fuel cans in the trunk. Trying to ignore the obvious danger that riding in a car full of combustible, flammable liquid entailed, Maura realized the implications. He was being careful – he knew that sooner or later he would have all of BPD mobilized and hunting him, and places like gas stations and convenience stores always had surveillance cameras.

When he got back in, he said nothing, turning the key in the ignition and continuing on their drive. Maura could see the car's red LED clock on the dashboard from where she was tied up in the back seat and had been counting every minute, trying to memorize every turn they had made, any landmark or road marker she could make out at the exact time they appeared. He had taken her at exactly 11:23pm. After less than an hour, they were already far outside of the city and beyond any place she could recall having been. It was all back roads and small towns, in the middle of the night when few people were out.

Until now, Maura hadn't allowed herself to think about anything other than the methodical observation, categorization and memorization of her surroundings. Not because she truly believed that remembering every possible detail would make much difference in her current situation, but because she was too aware of the fact that if she did allow herself to think – let her mind process everything that was happening, all that had happened in the past day leading up to this moment, her thoughts would inevitable wind up at Jane. Now, with the knowledge of her captor's identity, she tried desperately to come up with some reason, some explanation for all of this. If she could decipher his motives, she could try to devise a plan to get herself out. But for the moment, she remained quiet, afraid that if she spoke, she'd give herself away. He'd never seemed violent, but obviously Maura didn't know him as well as she thought, and she avoided provoking him. For now, she wanted him to think that everything was going as he had so carefully planned it.

At 3:51am, after 4 hours and 28 minutes, a small green sign welcomed them to New York, The Empire State. Maura had almost missed it in the pitch dark outside her travelling prison. She was tired – no, exhausted – but she willed herself to stay awake and as aware of her surroundings as possible. She wasn't in any real pain, but her position had become increasingly more uncomfortable as they drove further and further from Boston. He had duct-taped her arms tightly together at the wrist, though at least, she thought, in front of her, which she knew made her forced position a bit more bearable. She knew he knew that too. Her legs were bound in two places, at the ankles and just above the knees, and her arms had been thoroughly restrained to her torso, layers of thick silver tape winding around her biceps and chest and back. He had strapped her into the seat behind the passenger's side, the seatbelt buckle modified so that the two parts could be joined together by a padlock. For some reason, he had not covered her mouth or eyes, and Maura silently thanked heavens for this.

At 5:38am, Maura's mind and body were both at their limits. She ached, desperate to stand or stretch or even just bend her legs a little. She could no longer compel herself to keep track of what passed by outside her window, and she badly wanted to just shut her eyes and give in to the pull of fatigue. She leaned her forehead against the cold glass of the window, her warm breath escaping through slightly parted lips to form tiny wreaths of fog which disappeared and reappeared again each time she inhaled and exhaled. Maura wasn't sure how she was going to get through this. She had read countless articles about the psychology of abduction. On paper, she knew what you were supposed to do in these kinds of situations. But she doubted her ability to do it. Maura had never seen herself as a particularly strong person, deep down she had always felt a bit… fragile… weak. She compensated by dressing and acting the part, and honestly, a good pair of heels and a smart yet sexy pencil skirt always made her feel more confident. But her real confidence in herself - that had only come when she met and befriended Jane Rizzoli.

Before Jane, Maura had never really known what it was like to have someone who believed in her. Her parents loved her in their way, but it always seemed like all her accomplishments fell just short of their expectations. Even when she had become a doctor, most parents' dream, her choice to work with the dead instead of the living had been, Maura knew, a disappointment. And real friends were something Maura had never bothered with. She didn't understand people, and worse, they never understood her. She was weird, awkward, a freak even.

Then Jane came along and saw past the quirks and the social missteps and really got Maura. Somehow, that unruly, spirited detective had been the best cure for her own self-doubts. It was as if Maura felt that, with Jane on her side, she could finally start tackling those doubts on her own. She began to see herself the way Jane saw her – not as the cold and creepy Queen of the Dead (a name which Jane had outlawed the first time she heard it with a school-yard fight threat to the next person she heard say those words), but as an incredibly talented, incredibly insightful and caring woman who just needed a little nudge every now and then. When Jane was around, Maura felt more secure in herself.

And now Jane wasn't here. Maura didn't know how to be without Jane. It was the most uncomfortable feeling she had ever experienced.

Jane. Jane had called her just seconds before she was taken. Did Jane know? Was she calling to warn her? Were they already looking for her? Was Jane even okay? Had he somehow gotten to her too? Maura could feel her pulse quicken and tried to push these preoccupations from her mind, but she quickly gave up trying to keep herself from thinking about her best friend any longer. An image of her detective, a bit weary and shaken, flattened out on the ash-blue couch in Maura's office, legs sprawled and arms crossed over her stomach, her Jane's head rested against the back of the sofa in a sign of total defeat, flashed in Maura's mind. She thought of their conversation, of how she had tried and failed to get Jane to open up. She replayed it over and over in her mind. How she wished now that she had caught Jane's arm as she had got up to leave, convinced her to stay with her.

The sun was just starting to peak out from below the horizon and the sky lightened ever so slightly. Maura kept imagining herself back in Boston, back in her office, with Jane, before all of this had happened. Something she said back there stuck out to her now. It was something she had said to Jane, for Jane, but now, she thought, perhaps she needed to follow her own advice. Maybe, just maybe she could get through this by doing exactly what she had told the detective to do nearly 12 hours earlier.

As Detective and officer Rizzoli sped towards the scene of Maura's last known whereabouts, the first rays of sunlight bled into the deep-blue morning sky. Jane replayed Maura's words over in her head. "Maybe it would help if you… lean into the discomfort."

Yes. Lean in. That was exactly what she was going to. Lean in to all this discomfort, the pain and guilt and panic; she was not going to let it cloud her judgement, but use it to fuel her search for her missing best friend. And she was going to find her, damn it.

Edited to add author's note: this is my first ever fanfic, so any reviews, criticisms, or suggestions are gladly appreciated. I'm not sure how long this will be, just started writing it this afternoon on a whim. Please forgive any mistakes (or rather, point them out and I'll update to fix them!)