This chapter is set before the Water 7 Arc. I was inspired by Hori Tomoki's doujin, The World is Mine. You don't have to be familiar with the doujin, but I've made little tributes here and there.
Special thanks to my beta DarkSunrise19.
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Eiichiro Oda. I own nothing.
It was a beautiful day aboard the Going Merry. The sea shone brilliantly in the sunlight casting the rippling surface in an array of hues from warm yellows to shimmering aquamarine. Waves lapped gently at the bow of the ship. Sprawled across the figurehead lay the captain, lulled to sleep by the rocking vessel.
Chopper recently recovered from a fever, and was currently fishing together with Usopp, the shitty moss head was probably off sleeping anywhere but on a real bed. More importantly were the ladies lounging in bikinis. Nami was appreciating the weather, soaking up the rays in the reclining chair, and by her side sat Robin with a book in her lap.
Sanji observed them from the platform overlooking the deck below. 'Ah yes. It is a beautiful day indeed.' A far away look formed on his face as he became lost in a fantasy.
"Sanji." Nami purred. She bat her eyelashes at him and flashed a coy smile. "Could you help me put sunscreen on my back? I can't reach."
Robin garnered his attention by drawing the strings of her bikini top loose. Without facing him she lay down on her front. Summoning her devil fruit abilities, Robin sprouted an extra arm from Sanji's chest. That lovely hand gripped his tie and hauled him forward.
"Do me next." Robin cast a sultry look over her shoulder. Her third arm grazed his collar bone enticingly before a rough baritone voice jarred him back to reality.
"You look like a perverted kappa."
Figures that good for nothing swordsman had to impose on his mood.
"Don't interrupt other's daydreams," Sanji glared at the offending man.
"So that's why you were making such a disgusting face," Zoro sneered.
"I think you mean charming."
Zoro's answering snort caused the veins in Sanji's neck to throb. What pissed him off even more was the damn plant head's reply.
"Delusional is more like it."
"I'm impressed," Sanji praised derisively, "Who knew you had such an extensive vocabulary? I would've pegged a muscle brain like you to bench press books rather than read them."
"You picking a fight, Dart brow?" Zoro snarled, his hand instinctively going to the swords at his hip.
"You're the one who instigated it, Moss head," the blond cook snapped back, and tapped his foot against the planks with irritation.
The conversation continued on like that. Both men exchanged insults back and forth, tip toeing that barrier where it would escalate into a full on brawl. That is, until Sanji became distracted by the sound of muffled snickers.
The source of the sound belonged to Chopper, who hid his amusement behind raised hooves. He now stood together with Usopp on either side of their unconscious captain, their fishing poles lay discarded on the floorboards below.
Sanji focused on the sniper in particular. You would think by looking at Usopp's serious expression that he was doing something important, like performing surgery, instead of something so trivial as doodling a furrowed set of eyebrows on Luffy's face.
Usopp stepped back to look at his handy work. Striking a contemplative pose, he held his jaw between thumb and forefinger. After a beat he snapped his fingers as if having an epiphany. Usopp then passed the paint brush to Chopper. The reindeer looked unsure of what to do with it before Usopp crouched down and whispered something into his ear. Chopper then nodded eagerly, and took Usopp's place beside Luffy. With the brush held steady in the cleft of his hoof, the little doctor made zigzagged strokes above Luffy's lip to paint a peculiar shaped mustache. He mimicked Usopp's stance when he pulled away to study his own crude drawing.
Both boys sputtered as they unsuccessfully struggled to contain their chuckling, the noise waking the object of their prank. Luffy gawked at the two of his unraveling nakama in sleepy bemusement. Chopper practically howled at this point, his furry body rolled on the floor as tears prickled the corner of his eye's. Usopp's poker-face crumbled as he finally lost it as well.
Sanji paid close attention to the way Usopp tossed his head back, and held his stomach when he laughed. It was kind of endearing and obnoxious at the same time. The corners of Sanji's mouth quirked upwards as he unknowingly smiled along with him.
"Oi. Listen to people when they insult you." Zoro grumbled. Any other person would've prodded or pinched him to get his attention, but Zoro took it one step further by swinging his arm to connect with the side of Sanji's head. If the pain that exploded behind Sanji's temple wasn't enough to snap him out of his reverie, Zoro's next words certainly were. "You having another perverted fantasy?" Zoro asked as he grabbed the cook into a headlock, and followed the direction of Sanji's stare to look at one of the three idiots in particular. "Were you checking out Usopp? You've been looking at him a lot lately."
Sanji's reaction was instantaneous. His head swerved around in the moss heads hold, eyes nearly bulging out of his skull in shock. He had heard Zoro correctly, right?
"Of course not. He's a man. What are you implying, Morimo?" He replied a little too hastily, and shoved Zoro away.
"You're smart. Figure it out." Zoro smirked at him. Fucking smirked.
That was it. Sanji didn't give him a warning before his leg stuck out preparing to sweep Zoro's feet out from under him. Zoro leaped away, that taunting smile in place. It made his blood boil. He wanted to kick him, just once and he'd be satisfied.
"Fight back asshole, don't just dodge my attacks!" Sanji shouted. Sending another kick aimed at his solar plexus. Zoro blocked his leg by crossing two of his swords together to create an 'X'. The blow from Sanji's kick pushed him backwards but Zoro's feet skidded and held his ground.
Nami's eyebrow twitched in irritation from the commotion they were causing.
"Hey, Sanji-kun," Her sickly sweet voice rang out. A tight lipped smile stretched across her face. "I'm thirsty. Could you get me a drink?"
"Yes ~ Right away Nami~swan." Sanji sung as he spun around, and ignored Zoro, which seemed to annoy the swordsman a great deal. It must've went against his 'never turn your back on a fight' rule.
"Che." Zoro's jaw clenched. "What an obedient dog."
Sanji faltered in his steps, his teeth reflexively ground the cigarette between his lips to dust. Tossing away the obliterated fag, Sanji calmly retrieved a new nicotine stick and raised the lighter to his mouth. He took a deep drag, then exhaled in a plume of smoke.
Striking like a cobra, Sanji delivered a swift kick to Zoro's head, which the swordsman was fortunate enough to shield at the last second.
"Who're you calling a dog?" Sanji seethed.
He bent his knee, leaning his weight against Zoro's sword before abruptly pushing off. He sailed through the air, catching his balance when gravity pulled him back down. "We'll continue this later." Were his parting words before he traversed through the kitchen doorway. The moment the door clicked closed behind him, he was bombarded with a barrage of anxious thoughts.
He'd severely underestimated Zoro's selective perceptiveness. Now, Sanji had to berate his own lack of self-restraint for letting himself get distracted during their argument. The blonde believed he had been subtle in his observations of Usopp, but apparently he hadn't been subtle enough.
Sanji straightened his already immaculate tie and suit before moving purposefully towards the cabinets to start the lemonade, or the others would start to wonder what was taking him so long. He couldn't dwell on the subject any longer, there would be plenty of time for that later.
He exited the kitchen some five minutes later. A pitcher of freshly squeezed ice cold lemonade in one hand, and a tray balancing two glasses in the other.
"Here you are Nami-san~" Sanji said, setting the tray between the two women after a twirl of adornment. He filled each glass 3/4 of the way full and then handed one to the redhead.
"And one for you Robin-chan." He offered the other drink to the archaeologist who accepted it gratefully.
"Thank you cook-san." Robin said.
"It tastes great, Sanji-kun. Thanks" Nami added, taking another sip.
"You're welcome~! Anything for you ladies~!" Sanji pirouetted away in a state of bliss. With his back facing the others he froze in place. He untucked the cigarette case from his breast pocket, placed a new smoke to his mouth, and flicked his lighter to life. "There's an extra pitcher in the kitchen for the rest of you shitty bastards." He said, his personality shifting a complete 180 degrees when he addressed the others.
Usopp and Chopper's snickering came to a stop and together they whooped before making a beeline for the kitchen. Getting so excited about something like lemonade. Those two were really simple.
The rest of the day was uneventful. There weren't any marines or pirate hunters chasing them. They had just restocked all their supplies the other day, so there was no hurry to reach land.
Despite all that, something was troubling the captain. It seemed like no matter how many funny faces Usopp and Chopper made, it didn't seem to have any effect on Luffy. They even brought out the big guns, and shoved chopsticks in their noses, but Luffy ignored them in favor of staring thoughtfully at the ocean's surface. While this behavior distressed the others, Sanji already had enough on his plate and he could honestly care less about his strange captain's mood.
To try to distract himself from his swirling thoughts, Sanji spent the next few hours pouring over the East Blue cookbook Robin gave him for his birthday. He was in the middle of reading a recipe about grilled blue-finned elephant tuna when he realized that he should really get started on making dinner.
'I'll prepare something cool since it is a humid night.' His thoughts were interrupted by Luffy's sudden exclamation from across the deck.
"I see it now!" Luffy raced over to his friends while pointing to his face with a proud smile. "Guys, guys, look! I grew a mustache."
To which the much of the crew joined in a chorus of, "You were staring at your reflection the entire time!?" and, "You made us worry for nothing!"
Nami curled her fist and knocked Luffy over the head.
"You idiot, it's drawn on!" She yelled.
Sanji shook his blond head as he stood, book in hand, and disappeared into the kitchen before he could bear witness to any further antics. Surveying the cupboards, he made a mental checklist of all the dishes he could serve. He finally settled on whipping up a batch of cold udon. And for dessert they would have mochi ice cream. When dinner was finished, Sanji called everyone in for dinner.
Luffy was the first to arrive of course. Following the captain came Usopp, who was panting like he had just finished running. And trailing after him was Chopper. When Robin and Nami appeared, Sanji jumped at the chance to pull their seats out for them. Last to show his ugly mug was predictably Zoro. Honestly, Sanji wouldn't put it past that directionless moss head to get lost while trying to find the kitchen.
"Where's mine?" Zoro asked, glancing at the empty spot on the table where his food would normally be.
Sanji merely tilted his head, indicating to the corner of the room where he left Zoro a little present; a dish with the word MARIMO scrawled in all capital letters.
"Dogs eat on the floor." Sanji deadpanned.
"I'm not eating that." Zoro said firmly, crossing his arms.
"Fine then. Let your pride get in the way of a perfectly acceptable meal. Luffy can have your share. In fact, he already has the same idea~!"
Zoro watched helplessly as the captain stretched his hand across the room, and then retracted his arm with the dog bowl in his grip. Zoro's stomach protested with a growl, and Sanji had the pleasure of watching Zoro's iron like will crumble in front of his eye's.
Luffy lifted Zoro's meal above his head, preparing to flip the bowl over and let the food drop into his salivating mouth, when Zoro stopped him in the nick of time by using the blunt end of his sword to give Luffy another lump on his head.
"Ow! Why'd you hit me!? You said you didn't want it." Luffy cried, rubbing the sore spot where Zoro's sword had been.
"Yeah, well. I changed my mind," was the swordsman's surly reply as he attempted to pry Luffy's fingers off his food. But the captain was adamant. "It's mine. You can't have it." Luffy bared his teeth and snarled like a feral animal.
Both men played a game of tug of war over the bowl and Sanji let them know there would be hell to pay if they made a mess out of his kitchen. Once he was done shouting, Sanji took his place at the table and was drawn into a conversation.
"When did you even get a dog bowl, Sanji? I don't remember seeing that around here before." Nami mused.
"I think it's safe to assume Cook-san purchased the bowl with Doctor-san originally in mind." Robin answered.
"Oh, Mellorine~! Beauty and brains! You're exactly correct Robin~chwan. It was before when I thought he was a tanuki." Sanji swooned, squirming in his seat.
"Eh-" Chopper paused mid bite. "I'm not a tanuki, bastard! I'm a reindeer!" He said indignantly, dropping his chopsticks with a clank. He crossed his arms in front of himself looking every bit like a petulant child.
"Eat your dinner or you won't get dessert." Sanji said with his no nonsense attitude. Chopper didn't need any more convincing than that and shoveled down his food with gusto.
Usopp's laughter wafted above the noise around the table.
"You sound like a mom," Usopp chuckled, mirth twinkled in his eyes. "You even spoon fed him when he was sick. It was really cute."
Sanji would've kicked his ass if Usopp hadn't sounded like he was making an innocent observation. That's what he told himself, at least. And that's the story he was sticking to, damnit!
"I don't want to hear that kind of thing from you." He ducked his head, not wanting the others to see his blush. He pushed up out of his seat. "Ok, who's ready for dessert?" Chopper raised his hoof cheerfully. And Sanji used the opportunity to step over to the refrigerator and hide his face. The temperature from the freezer did wonders to cool his burning cheeks.
- o - o - o -
Sanji took care of the dishes by himself. It was better that way since everyone else (other than Nami and Robin of course) managed to screw up something so simple. Besides, what kind of man would he be if he allowed the ladies to help clean?
Sanji tucked away the last of the clean dishes into the cupboard. He put off evaluating his thoughts for long enough. The cook sighed as he collapsed onto one of the stools, and mulled- or rather agonized over Zoro's words from earlier.
"Were you checking out Usopp? You've been looking at him a lot lately."
Did Zoro actually know anything? Or was he bluffing? Sanji hoped he was just trying to provoke him and nothing more, but if that was the case, then what was the meaning behind that smirk? Gah, Zoro could be such an enigma sometimes!
Sanji bent forward in his frustration and grabbed fistfuls of his hair to yank at the strands. It was out of the question to confront the swordsman. That would only make him more suspicious or confirm what he already knew. But what did he 'know' exactly? That he liked Usopp a little more than a self proclaimed ladies man should? Sanji himself didn't fully comprehend his attraction to the sniper. That was what made this entire situation completely helpless.
Engulfed in his thoughts, he didn't take any notice to the sound of the door swinging open.
"Hey, Sanji, I found your missing cuff link! It was rolling around..." His intruder trailed off.
Sanji flicked his gaze upwards to find Usopp gaping at him.
"What?" Sanji inquired, "Is there something on my fa-" He dropped his hands in horror as he belatedly realized both of his eyebrows were on display. His hair fell in a curtain over his face and he hunched forward. Sanji expected to hear Usopp's mocking laughter, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was an unintelligible stutter.
"C-" Usopp choked. Sanji raised his head to gauge the snipers reaction. "C-" He was taken aback by the sparkles he saw in Usopp's eyes. "Cool! You gotta show everyone!" Usopp bolted for the door, but was stopped when it was slammed closed by a black leg.
"No one can hear about this. Especially that marimo!" That asshole would never let him live it down if he found out his eyebrows went in the same direction!
"Eh, why? They're so cool. Your eyebrows look like waves. They channel that circular energy!" Usopp said. He took Sanji's thrown expression as a request to elaborate. "Ok, so. Everyone lives in circles, right? The sun, the moon, and the earth all spin around! And If the earth suddenly stopped spinning, it would be a disaster, tidal waves everywhere!" He gestured with his hands to show how violent the outcome would be. "So basically. If you hadn't joined the crew we'd have to eat Nami's terrible cooking and we'd all die from food poisoning." Usopp summarized.
"You dare insult a ladies cooking?" Sanji lifted his foot in warning.
"It was a joke! I was joking." Usopp shied away from him, holding up his hands in surrender.
Sanji planted his foot back onto the ground and lowered his gaze in a rare moment of vulnerability.
"You don't think my eyebrows are... odd?"
It was Usopp's turn to look confused. Then as if something occurred to him, he chuckled. Whereas Sanji would normally be comforted by the sound, it had the opposite effect on him now.
"Is that why your bangs cover one eye? Because you think your eyebrows are weird? I thought it was because you were trying to be mysterious." Usopp laughed again. Sanji stiffened up in response. "So, it turns out even you have insecurities."
"What's this? It seems I forgot to sharpen the knives." Sanji nonchalant as can be reached for the cutlery. He was satisfied when he saw Usopp tremble slightly in his peripheral vision.
"I'm sorry! I won't push it anymore. Please stop with the threats. I wasn't making fun of you." Usopp tried to appease the cook by smiling meekly. Sanji would never let him know how well it worked.
"Yeah, yeah. Hand over my cuff link and then beat it." Sanji said dismissively.
Usopp was halfway out the door when he paused, and glanced over his shoulder.
"And don't worry. I won't say anything," he vowed before ducking out of the room. Coming from the liar, his promise didn't hold a lot of weight, but for some reason Sanji believed him.
"Eyebrows channel circular energy, hmm?" Sanji whispered to himself, shaking his head slightly. Despite his earlier scolding, he was glad Usopp said what he did. A strange warmth spread in his chest the more he thought about Usopp's words.
I don't know if any of you hardcore One Piece fans noticed, but I quoted Eiichiro Oda directly when Usopp was talking to Sanji about his eyebrows. The unaltered quote goes like this:
"Hey! You, sit right there! Now listen! Everyone lives in circles! The sun, the moon, and the earth all spin around! And! If the earth suddenly stopped spinning! It would be a disaster, tidal waves everywhere! Now remember that Sanji's eyebrow channels that circular energy! Reflect upon this! You may go!" -Eiichiro Oda