A/N: Hello!
This is my very first Spideypool fic and I have by no means read every Deadpool comic there is, so feel free to point out any ooc-ness, and I'll try and fix that. Also, I don't have a beta reader so please excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes, and I'll try to fix it as soon as possible.

Wade had had a fantastic day. He had taken some guys out and earned himself 25k to spend on chimichangas and guns, and he had another mission that would earn him 50k more to spend on even more chimichangas and guns.

"I'm on a fucking roll!", the merc shouted while slicing through yet another baddie. Suddenly, one of his katanas was snatched from his hand by a web and thrown out of sight.

"Hey, don't snatch my baddie slicers!", Deadpool shouted up in no particular direction. Spider-Man jumped down in front of him and webbed the remaining bad guys to the walls of the narrow alleyway they were in. He then turned to look at the mercenary.

"Stop with the killing", he reprimanded. Wade rolled his eyes.

"Stop ruining my missions! A guy wants them dead and I want my 50k, it's a fair deal. I don't need bugs running around, telling me what to do and not to do", he said while looking around for his katana.

"Arachnids", Spider-Man corrected, making sure that all of the bad guys were firmly tied down.

"Yeah, whatevs", Wade growled, finally finding his katana behind a pile of old newspapers. He picked it up and turned back to Spider-Man. "So is there any reason you're all up in my business?".

"No, this is the time I usually patrol and I just happened to be in the area when I saw you fighting these guys", Spider-Man said and gestured at the struggling men.

"And then you decided to throw a moral lecture in my face", Wade concluded. "I get it, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man and all that", he sighed, scratching his head with his gun.

Why don't you just shoot the spider and the baddies, and then we'll get the money anyways! Win-win situation!

"Nah, I can't do that. Sure, he's annoying, but he's pretty cool sometimes. Besides, I don't wanna get Fury and the Avengers after my ass either", Wade answered, getting ready to go home and eat tacos. He didn't feel like looking for more missions when there was the risk of Spider-Man botching them up as well.

"Who are you talking to?", Spider-Man asked, looking at Wade as if he was crazy. Well, he wasn't half wrong.

"Long story, don't owe you an explanation, toodeloo Spidey", Wade said, taking the fire escape stairs up to the roof of the nearest building, leaving Spider-Man to clean up the mess he had left behind.

Do you know how many chimichangas we could have bought for 50k?!

Can you even count?

Well...no, but we could probably buy many!

"Will you shut the fuck up?! Like I said, I don't want the Avengers after my ass", Deadpool snarled, jumping from the roof and landing as carefully as possible on a windowsill.

You did earn 25k earlier today.

"Damn right I did! Am I awesome or what?", Wade grinned to himself. The voices rolled their nonexistent eyes as Wade finally got to his window, sliding the blade of his katana under it and carefully opening it. He jumped inside.

"Home sweet home", he said, grimacing at the stench of week-old pizza and blood stained suits laying strewn across the floor.

Maybe you should clean that up.

"Maybe you should go jerk off or something". Wade threw himself on the old, creaky sofa and started the TV. He had to kick it several times before it finally came to life with a sound that a healthy TV really shouldn't make.

See, we do need money!

Deadpool sighed.

"As much as I wouldn't want to admit it, you're right. Listen up dweebs, tomorrow I'll find a new mission and if that Spider geek comes back I'll blow his brains out. Sounds like a plan?". The voices agreed.

"Then shut the fuck up and let me watch TV!".

The next day, Deadpool got up unusually early and checked his phone. As he had suspected, there were a lot of messages asking for his services. He scrolled through the list, barely visible through the cracked screen.

Ooh, pick that one, it's 95k!

"I don't feel like today is the day to kill Tony Stark, so no thanks", Wade replied in a snarky tone.

"But maybe that one", he said and looked at a message offering him 65k if he sneaked into a warehouse in the outskirts of town, killed two guards, and stole some important files.

What's the catch? That's an awful lot of money for two guards and some files.

"Good thinking! I like this guy, we should keep him around. But what's the worst they can do? I'll just heal", Deadpool laughed and prepared to get out and kick some ass.

When he returned home that evening it was with approximately all of his bones broken or fractured, and without his left arm.

"It'll grow back", he mumbled and chuckled, then gripped at his ribs. "Ow, ow, okay no laughing",

What's the worst they can do?

"Very funny, smart ass. How was I supposed to know that the guy meant to write 200 guards instead of 2? But we've got the 65k and this will be all healed up in the morning". He shut the door after stumbling into the apartment and then carefully sat down on the sofa. Suddenly there was a tap on the window. The merc drew his gun before he even looked up. A red mask with webs on it peered back at him.

"Great", Wade mumbled and got up to open the window. The webhead slunk in gracefully.

"What do you want?", Deadpool asked, really not happy about having to deal with more of the spider's reprimands.

"Did you have anything to do with the warehouse in the harbor?", Spider-Man asked suspiciously.
"What, me? No, I've been here all day", Deadpool said, knowing that Spidey wouldn't believe him, but never missed an opportunity to mess with him.

"So your arm just up and left then?", Spider-Man cocked an eyebrow under his mask.

"Yup, we never really liked each other anyways", Wade said nonchalantly, trying to ignore the pain of regrowing the arm. "And why are you suddenly my personal babysitter? I suspect you're here on the orders of Fury, since he's always so disapproving of what I'm up to. Why did the Avengers send the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man?"

"All the others are down by the harbor, trying to sort out the damage YOU caused. I came here because I knew you had something to do with it. I found your katana", Spider-Man said, sounding even sterner than before.

"Look kiddo, you're probably at least 10 years younger than me so don't act all condescending. And also, give me back my katana or I'll kick you in the balls", Deadpool warned, looking more serious than ever. If there was something he valued, it was his weapons, and no way that he would let Spider-Man keep them. Spider-Man first looked taken aback by what the merc had said, but soon collected himself.

"Your katana is now official evidence and has been confiscated by SHIELD", he said, preparing for the merc to become enraged.

"It's okay, 'cause you're gonna get it back for me", Deadpool said, as calmly as he could while flexing his new left hand. Spider-Man took a step back.

"I am not!", he exclaimed.

"Then I have no choice. Say bye bye to the family jewels", Deadpool prepared to deliver a kick so hard Spidey's head would get stuck in the ceiling.

"Wait! Wait a minute!", Spider-Man jumped up, sticking to said ceiling. He stared angrily down at Wade.

"I know your weapons are important to you, and I'll see what I can do to get your katana back", he sighed.

"Good enough", Deadpool concluded, sinking back down into the couch. "Give it to me by this time tomorrow".

Spider-Man nodded and jumped back out of the window, glad to put as much distance as he could between himself and the maniac mercenary.

Do you think he'll actually come back?

"He better, or I'll find him".