I do not own RWBY. That belongs to Rooster Teeth and Monty Oum, may he forever rest in peace.

Immortal

Chapter 1: A Not-So-Great Start

There were three things in life that Jaune Arc hated above all else. From least to most, they were as follows: Raisins. They were the Devil's Fruit. They ruined all pastries they were placed into, and they were always deceptive. You'd bite into a cookie, thinking in glee that it was chocolate, but no! Instead you found yourself chewing into the wrinkled skin of a desiccated grape. Raisins reminded him of all the liars and deceivers in the world; of all the falsehoods people spoke to one another. A world without the evil purple Boogers of Lucifer would be a much better world indeed.

Second, flying. Jaune had always insisted that if man were meant to fly, then their creator would have had the foresight to give them wings. Instead, man was arrogant and decided to take to the air in giant metal deathtraps that had the intended side effect of making him vomit whenever he stepped foot onto one of them (and he was sure that it was the intended side effect, no matter what anyone else said to the contrary!)

The third thing he hated, was death. More specifically, he hated being dead. Of course, anyone with two brain cells to rub together would stop and wonder why that was on the list. Surely the fear of dying would be a better choice of words, right? Because, let's be honest here, dying is something that happens but once to most of us. Twice, maybe, if you're lucky enough to survive the first attempt. Maybe some rare, absurdly lucky bastard was capable of a third shot, but anything more than that would be absurd!

Then again, you aren't the universe's chew toy either.

It was the second most hated thing in existence that Jaune found himself unfortunately experiencing as he sat miserable with his head pressed against the cool glass between himself and the sky, watching as Vale slowly rolled by below them in their airship. It helped, if only a little, to quell the nausea he felt whenever he was forced onto anything that flew in the air. He tried to ignore the twisting and turning in his stomach, focusing instead on his own thoughts as he mentally ranted and raved, as he had been up until now.

I had plans. I did. I had all sorts of plans. I was going to BE something! I was going to be the best there was! But NOOOOOO! No one EVER asks Jaune what HE wants! Hey Jaune, you're gonna be a hunter! Hey Jaune, you're gonna go to Beacon! Hey Jaune, you're gonna get on the stupid plane! WELL SCREEEEEW YOU! I'll show you! I'll get kicked out of Beacon! That's right! When I get there, I'll just be the absolute WORST Hunter ever, and the Headmaster will HAVE to kick me out! When I get free, I'll finally be able to -

"Hey, you okay?"

Jaune groaned and turned to find himself looking up at the kind of woman that men usually tripped over their own feet looking at. The kind of woman who men would get into accidents over as they drove past her. The kind of woman that men secretly talked about behind her back about the perverse things they'd do to her. The kind of woman...that Jaune wasn't really interested in. Sure, he admitted she had a smoking hot body, but if life experiences taught him anything, she was probably way too high maintenance to be worth any attempts at charming her.

"Mmmphfine." He managed to mumble out, trying his best to fight his stomach. Unfortunately, his stomach seemed to be quite the champion prize fighter, and he was starting to lose the match. "Ulp."

Another voice spoke up. "You sure? You don't look too good..."

Jaune looked down to see...well, she was adorable. The cutest damn girl he'd ever seen. She was like the physical embodiment of a puppy. The urge to hug her was almost overwhelming, but he resisted, having been used to his sisters trying to use cuteness to get their way, when it wasn't threats, that is. She was wearing a lovely gothic lolita dress with a red hood, and her silver eyes were wide in what Jaune could only describe as adorable concern. "H-g-l-k" He held his head in his hand and with his other, tried to wave them off. If he was going to upchuck, he was damn well not going to do it all over the cute girl. Hell, he'd rather not do it on anyone. It wouldn't do his social status any good, not that it'd matter in a week when he was kicked out.

The blond stepped forward, cracking her knuckles. "Hey, you got a problem with my little sister? She went out of her way to see if you were alright and I-"

Jaune had enough. He hated flying, he was being forced to join a school just because of his unique...whatever it was, was feeling sick, and now this blond bimbo was threatening him for trying to warn them off? If she was going to be this stupid, she'd suffer the consequences. Jaune threw in the towel...and threw up on the blond girl. More specifically, her shoes.

"MY SHOES!" The blond girl cried out, her face torn between anger and disgust.

"I...tried...to warn you..." Jaune groaned out, wiping his mouth with his hand.

"He did, Yang..." The adorable girl murmured, looking piteously at the blond girl who was busy trying to look around for something to clean her boots off.

"Oh my Oum, Ruby, this is why you need to keep your nose out of people's business!" Yang groaned and shook her head in disgust before turning to Jaune. "Great job, Vomit Boy..."

Jaune just glared at her and clutched his stomach. Yep. Already hating life. This is all your fault, mom.

[Beacon Academy – Landing Zone]

The airship doors opened and Jaune stumbled out, rushing out as fast as he could and dropping to the ground, muttering. "Oh sweet, sweet ground…sweet wonderful ground...I shall never leave you again."

"Oh jeeze, Vomit Boy, I was the one who got vomited on! Quit being so dramatic..." Jaune heard Yang groaning.

"Shut...it..." Jaune staggered to his feet, swaying. "Airsickness is...totally a common thing."

A giggle from behind Yang signaled Ruby's approach. "Sure it is...Vomit Boy." Ruby giggled again, earning a dejected groan from Jaune.

"Oh, not you too!"

Ruby giggled again. "Sorry, sorry. I don't know your name though."

"It's Jaune. Jaune Arc." Don't bother remembering it. I won't be here long.

"Pfft. Still gonna call you Vomit Boy." Yang muttered, rolling her eyes.

"'cause, you know, when someone is groaning and making weird noises, clutching their stomach, having them actually vomit is so shocking!" Jaune dryly shot back.

Yang raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. "You're an awfully sarcastic individual, aren't you?"

"Only on days that end in 'y'"

"Wait, why would you only be sarcastic in..." Yang trailed off before glaring at him. Her obvious and most likely violent reaction was cut off quickly when she heard Ruby guffawing, tears streaming from her eyes as she clutched her stomach. "R-Ruby!"

"S-sorry! Tee hee! It's just...bwhahaha! So funny!" Ruby continued laughing, earning a very sad look from Yang.

"S-stop laughing at your big sister! Ruby!"

Jaune couldn't help but grin tiredly. "At least one of you has a sense of humor."

Yang twitched. "Ruby, stop laughing at me, and Vomit Boy, stop being such a sarcastic ass!"

"I'll stop being a sarcastic ass when you stop calling me Vomit Boy." Jaune smirked. He looked around at the massive gathering of various students. He had to admit, he'd never been to such a place. He and his family lived on the outskirts of Vrytal, and it was mostly forests. Hell, he hadn't ever seen that many Grimm near his house either, now that he thought about it, but to be fair, that was probably because his mother was the literal embodiment of death. And to think, they're all usually scared of my dad…

"Pfft, not happening." Yang grumbled.

"...And they call me stubborn." Jaune rolled his eyes again, mirroring Yang's arm crossing.

"Hey, I don't have to stand here and take this! Come on Ruby, we need to get to the auditorium for the Headmaster's speech!" Yang started to drag her little sister away, glaring back at Jaune.

"But Yang! I wanted to hang out with Vo-er, Jaune more!" Ruby replied, correcting herself. The last thing she wanted to do was upset a potential new friend!

Jaune chuckled and waved his hand. "Actually, as much as I hate to admit, your sister there's got a point. You really should head to the auditorium."

"But we haven't gotten to show each other our weapons!" Ruby whined, giving a quivering lipped puppy dog look.

Both Yang and Jaune folded quickly under the power of the sheer adorableness coming from Ruby's expression. "Okay, okay, fine. Stay here with Vomit Boy if you want. You're both pretty socially awkward anyway..."

"'says the woman who goes around threatening people for being airsick. How's that working out for you?" Jaune quipped.

"Okay, okay, that's enough you two!" Ruby stepped in between them, putting her arms out. "No more arguing! Yang, stop being mean to Jaune for being sick after he tried to warn us away. Jaune, stop being a sourpuss to my sister."

Jaune sighed and shrugged. "Fine. It's a force of habit anyway."

"Great, just what I wanted to hear from the person who my little sister wants to be friends with." Yang growled.

"Yang!"

"B-but Ruby!"

Ruby stomped the ground. "No! Bad Yang!"

Yang sighed. "Alright, fine. For what it's worth, I'm glad you made a new friend already...even if he is a vomiting jerk."

Jaune face palmed and groaned. Just one week Jaune. By that time, the Headmaster will think you're a useless pile of crap and you can leave Beacon to pursue your real dream. All I have to do is not die. That'll be easy, right? Just do the bare minimum so no one thinks you're special and you're home free!

"So Jaune!" The blond boy was shaken out of his reverie by the cheerful sound of Ruby's voice as she bounced back and forth on her heels. "Wanna see my weapon?"

"Oh, um...sure." Man, I hope she doesn't get too attached. She's nice and all, but I'm not sticking around here. Somewhere out there, there's a hotel that desperately needs me.

Ruby practically glowed with happiness and with pride, pulled out her weapon, hitting the switch to completely unfold it. "It's my baby. Her name is Crescent Rose."

Jaune gave a low whistle. "Wow, a variable switch scythe with a high impact sniper rifle in the handle? That's impressive."

Ruby's eyes widened. "You...you know!"

Yeah. I blame mom for that one. I also blame her for dealing with Yang. I also blame her for my fear of people with purple hair. I also blame her for being stuck here when I could be- Jaune shook his head. He'd have plenty of time to pursue that later. "Yeah, I had a little weapons training when I was younger, and I can sort of recognize a lot of various types of weaponry."

"That's so cool! What's your weapon!?" Ruby was bouncing in place, eyes wide and excited.

Nothing impressive, that's for sure. Not like I needed it anyway, what with me leaving soon. "Oh, just this." Jaune pulled out Crocea Mors blade. "Doesn't turn into anything or have any range. Oh, I do have this shield though, that collapses into a sheath."

"Really?" Ruby tilted her head.

"Yeah. Doesn't even lighten the weight." He shrugged and sheathed the blade back. "Yeah, not as exciting as yours is."

Ruby frowned. She had to say something! "Er...the classics are always great!" She gave a thumbs up, earning another tired smile from Jaune in the process.

"Thanks, Rubes."

"No problem!"

"I think now though, we should make our way to the auditorium. Don't want to be late on our first day, do we?" Well, I do, but I'd rather not drag her down with me. She seems so excited to be here.

"Right!" Ruby pumped her fist and started running off, leaving Jaune standing there dumbfounded.

"Wait, why are you running?! Ruby! Look out!" Jaune shouted as he watched Ruby running...and ran straight into a white haired girl and her suitcase. Jaune watched as suitcase was busted open and out flew a multitude of vials of...Dust. Ruby! With that, Jaune rushed forward as fast as he could, grabbing Ruby before any of the vials made contact. Almost the second he did, there was a small explosion behind him.

"You dunce!" The girl screamed, even as the ground continued to smoke from the near explosion. "Will you watch where you're going you idiot!"

"Hey, hey, hey!" Jaune snapped, letting go of Ruby who looked both shocked and chastised. "Accidents happen! Calm down!"

"Calm down?! That's extremely expensive Dust she knocked over! She was lucky she didn't get hurt! I swear, no one knows how to handle Dust these days!" The girl in white stomped, glaring at both Jaune and Ruby.

"Yeah, and yelling at someone about it is totally going to fix things." Jaune snarked, crossing his arms and matching the girl's glare.

"Hey! You can't speak to me that way! Do you know who I am?" The girls stomped her foot, her arms going akimbo.

"You mean besides an uptight jerk?"

The girl in the white dress began to sputter angirly before stomping her foot down again. "I'm Weiss Schnee of the Schnee corporation!"

Jaune gave a small wave of his finger above his head. "Whoop-de-doo." He muttered in the most bored tone of voice he could muster.

Weiss' eye twitched and she began to grind her teeth before giving a 'hmph!' and turning on her heel to walk away, briskly putting what she could in her suitcase while muttering something about "blond dunces and red hooded idiots."

"Tch. What got into her?" Jaune replied, fixing Ruby with a wry smile.

"I...I didn't mean to..." Ruby replied, looking a bit upset.

"Hey, hey, relax! It's an accident! She's probably one of those stick-up-the-ass types who wouldn't know a good time if it bit her." Jaune shrugged, putting his hands into his pockets.

Ruby smiled and gave a little laugh. "Thanks, Jaune."

"Hey, anytime." He began to amble forward, whistling, before stopping and turning around to Ruby, who was still staring nervously at Weiss. "Hey, shouldn't we get to the opening ceremony?"

Ruby's eyes suddenly widened. "You're right! I can't be late!" Before Jaune could say anymore, the young woman suddenly vanished in a gust of wind and a flurry of rose petals. Jaune blinked, staring at the spot Ruby once occupied, blinking.

"Well...great. Where else am I going to find a nice, quirky girl to talk to?" He muttered, turning on his heel and beginning to stroll away once more, missing a pair of emerald eyes focusing upon him with intense curiosity…

Death Count: 2,033 deaths...

Author's Note: Yep, a short chapter to start off with, but I'm honestly not the best at beginnings. Things should pick up around initiation, but for now, a bit of background is nice for our characters. For those of you who are interested in some of my other ideas, I added some new ones (as well as the ones listed on The Phantom Nevermore) on my profile, so check them out if you're curious. And don't worry. Jaune's life is going to suck even worse, soon enough...