Did you seriously think I'd let Halloween go past without writing ANYTHING heartbreaking? Please. Have some half dead freeform

Make the Face of Heaven So Fine

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Her heartbeat thundered through her veins, even as she lay on the floor with awkwardly crumpled legs beneath her, it echoed in her ears, loud and true and alive.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Someone was grabbing at her shoulders. Several someone's in fact. She could feel the hands brushing against her overheated skin and she flinches. There is smokes in her lungs and glass in her heart. A baby is crying.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Everything is an out of body experience. One moment she's there and the next she's not. The night's air is cool, making her skin erupt in gooseflesh. Her temple stings when the wind blows and the blood traces the line of her jaw before sliding down her neck. It tickles slightly.

There's a blanket around her now. She doesn't know how it got there. It helps ward of the chill brought on by the wind, but does nothing for the ice that's taken residence inside her.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

The next thing she knows, Sirius is crouching in front of her, face smudged with ash and distinct tearstains down his cheeks. He gathers her in his arms and pulls her to him, gently rocking her back and forth while murmuring nonsensical words against her hair. A few tears are dropped onto her shoulder. She doesn't have the strength to move her arms to wipe them off.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

She still sits in the vee of his legs with his hands loosely grasping her forearms. Dumbledore and McGonagall stands before them. The Scottish witch is holding a tartan handkerchief that she periodically uses to dry her eyes. The words 'shock' and 'Mungo's' are thrown around. She just stares up at them with glassy eyes.

The baby still cries and she wants to get up and shush him but she's just so tired. Her head pounds and ever so often another drop of blood rolls down and stains her shirt collar. Absently, she thinks of how long it will take to scrub the stain out.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

A muffled incantation is muttered near her ears and before she knows it, she can feel the prickle of magic wave over body as her skin knits itself back together. The blood is siphoned away, but she still feels as though it's there, its stickiness matting her hair together and staining her skin red.

Dumbledore kneels down in front of her and asks her something that she just can't quite catch. She stares at him unblinkingly and a frown mars his face. He turns to speak to someone else and the small shift is enough for her to see it. Her breath catches.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

Her heart pounds against her sternum, the roar of blood drowning out everything else in the world. The body lying amongst the rubble is thin and tall, with exceptionally messy hair and glassy eyes staring up at nothing. The pair of wire rimmed glasses that is usually perched on his nose is missing, only to be found several feet away, dented and cracked and of no more use.

Not like it would matter anyway.

His body is too still, too stiff, and it's how she knows.

James Potter is only peaceful in death.

All at once she's brought back down to earth. She can hear the buzz of conversation all around her, worried and low, and see the colours, vivid and bright. The once immaculate cottage now lies in ruins and the smoke lingers heavy in the air, choking and making her eyes water. Sirius is behind her, trying to coax her into speaking while Harry is wailing in the night. What's left of her heart squeezes painfully in her chest. She wants to get up and go to him but she can't take her eyes off her dead husband.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

The deafening beat of her heart tells her that she's alive.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

The heart wrenching crying tells her that their son is alive.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

The silence tell her that he isn't.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

She screams out, loud and broken and anguished as though someone has torn her soul in two. Her throat protests and everyone turns to look at her as tears finally start to spill down her cheeks. She screams and screams and screams. Sirius has to hold her back, and she's fairly certain that she kicks him, or bites him, or maybe even both, but she can't remember, all that she sees is his body on the ground in front them. Sirius' arms band around her waist resolutely and he takes whatever abuse she has to offer, the slaps and kicks and names, and tries to get her to calm down by murmuring things in her ear.

She doesn't listen; just screams louder.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Her heartbeat feels like a mean joke now.

Lily is alive. James is dead.

There is nothing thudding in his chest anymore.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Dead. Dead. Dead.

Not gonna lie; I've written things much sadder than this before (if you even consider this sad). That should say a lot about me.

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xoxo
Nai :)